Friday, September 08, 2006

Alms For The Poor

The brat tells Bo this is her story and she's sticking to it. “So,” says Bo, “This was a humanitarian act?” The brat insists she was just trying to give Shawn a chance to know the truth or what she thought was the truth. She tells him she had nothing to do with the embryo switch. Frankie breaks things up. Bo asks for a minute alone with the brat. Frankie just can't allow that. Bo presses and Perry Mason caves like a house of cards in a gale.

After Frankie leaves the brat says, “You can look at me that way but don't yell at me.”

“Look at you what way,” asks Bo, “Like you took my son's life and didn't pay for it. And now you are trying to ruin Shawn's life.. This time, little girl, you are not getting away with it. This time you will pay... father to daughter.”

Bonnie, Shawn and Mimi arrive at Chez Rouge. Maggie is thrilled to see Shawn and Mimi, but treats Bonnie like she is last month's cheese. Bonnie is ready to punch the red-headed dye job but promises to be on her best behavior.

Shawn says he wishes he had gone to the press conference. He tells them about Bo hauling the brat in because evidence shows she may have been the one who planted the mystery file.

Mimi asks, “Why would she think we would fall for that crap about you being Claire's biological father when we all know it couldn't be true?” Oh, Mimi. Shawn doesn't know.

Jack wants to know how they are going to go to Roman and show him this list, point to one specific person and say, “That is the person who killed officer Eve Michaels.”

They don't think Roman will buy it, considering the source it came from. “No offense, Sal,” says Jennifer.

“No offense taken,” says Sal, “So Jackie, what do we do now?”

“We're going to get some evidence no one can sneeze at,” says Jack, “It's time to contact Deep Throat.” Jennifer doesn't like this at all. “It's time... trust me,” says Jack.

“Famous last words,” says Jennifer.

Jennifer doesn't even know how they would contact Deep Throat. Sal offers to contact his “esteemed colleagues.” Jack tells him to go for it.

“I think he's waiting for something,” says Jennifer. They look over at Sal.

“Alms for the poor,” says Sal. Jack insists he is tapped out. Sal will settle for his watch.

“The things I do for a Pulitzer,” says Jack.

Billie arrives at the police station and bashes Frankie for leaving the brat alone with Bo.

Inside, the brat tells Bo she was just trying to help Shawn. She wants to be a part of this family.

“I'm not even a part of it right now,” says Bo, “If we make these charges stick, you go away for a very long time.”

The brat tells him her fingerprints on the file doesn't prove she made up some false DNA report, “Do you even know it's not true? What if Shawn really is Claire's father?"

Bo says, "There's one way to find out. We check Shawn's DNA against Claire's."

Bonnie hopes they, “roast Chelsea's little butt in court and send her away for a long time.”

“She actually said she was doing me a favor,” says Shawn.

Bonnie chokes. She insists Claire is the spitting image of Phillip.

“Do you really think so,” asks Shawn.

“SURE,” yell Bonnie and Mimi.

Maggie brings the food and takes the opportunity to chime in, “Claire doesn't resemble Belle in the lease, so I guess she's her daddy's daughter.”

Sal tells Jack and Jennifer the word is out. Now they have to wait. Jennifer isn't in any mood to wait.

“You need an activity, Jenny,” says Sal.

“This isn't summer camp,” says Jennifer. Sal suggests checkers. This prompts an irritating little argument between Jack and Jennifer about who is best at checkers.

“I remember one time in bed,” says Jennifer, “We were playing checkers and the loser had to...”

“I REMEMBER that you won one game,” says Jack. Let the games begin.

“Do it,” says the brat, “Test Shawn and Claire and you will find out that I am innocent.”

Bonnie, Maggie, Shawn and Mimi discuss paternity. Actually, with Bonnie and Maggie, it's more of a sparing match and with Mimi it's an exercise in honing her lying skills, not that they need it. Shawn is along for the ride.

Bo calls Shawn, “I need you to come down to the station for a DNA test.”

But I haven't had time to study for it,” says Shawn.

“This isn't so much about Claire's paternity,” says Bo, “as it is about Chelsea's guilt.”

Shawn protests. He's out to dinner with his wife. Bo asks if he wants justice or not. Shawn says he will be right there. He tells Bonnie and Mimi what he is up to and says he will be back for dessert, “Why don't you order that volcano thing we like so much. Get three forks.”

Mimi says, "He's gonna take that DNA test and the DNA's gonna match and he's gonna know the truth. Where is that gonna leave me?"


Jennifer and Jack banter. She accuses him of cheating. She accuses him of just plain losing. Sal tells them to stifle it. They are driving him nuts. He kicks them out. Jack makes him swear he will call if he hears anything.

Mimi doesn't think she has a chance with Shawn now. Bonnie insists Shawn loves her, “He's always bringing you sweet little presents and then getting cozy with you under the sheets.”

“Why don't you pick up a megaphone and tell the whole restaurant?”

“It's nothing to be embarrassed about. You know how to make Shawn happy and that's one thing you got from me.”

YOU AND SHAWN,” gasps Mimi, “What next? Besides, Dad left you. Mickey left you for Maggie. Is that what I have to look forward to, a lifetime of loneliness?”

“Men never know when they've got it good,” says Bonnie, “I'm not as smart as you.”

I didn't realize it was that bad,” says Mimi.

Bo tells the brat Shawn is on his way with his DNA. He gets a call and tells her Billie is there to see her. Bo gives them some time alone.

“I didn't do it,” whines the brat, “Please say that you believe me.”

“I believe you,” says Billie. Hugs.

“Dad hates me.”

“No he doesn't,” says Billie, “And neither do I.”

The brat whines, bawls and rationalizes her actions. Billie says she believes her. The brat wonders why the file would say Claire is Shawn's child if he and Belle never slept together. She says she didn't do it just to score points with Shawn. She really wanted to do a good deed for once.

“Is this the good deed you were telling me about,” asks Billie, “Aaawwwwww, Cchheellsseeaa.”

“It's the first time I ever did anything nice, but it will be the last,” says the brat.

Bo tells Shawn he will call with the results. Shawn asks Frankie why he is even defending the little snot, “Are you hard up for the cash?”

Frankie will let that slide. He reminds Shawn people are innocent until proven guilty, “Sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. They just work out the way they work out. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.”

Back in the newsroom, Jack works on the background information for the story while he and Jennifer wait for the phone call, “It's so great to be back in the saddle again!”

Jennifer throws a wet blanket on Jack's reverie, “What if you're not in remission?”

“Then I am not in remission,” says Jack.

“But what if...”

“What if we just take this moment right here and appreciate the heck out of it?” Smooch,

Shawn wants to get back to Mimi. Bo wants to talk. They discuss the scrambled egg situation. Shawn has made it clear to Mimi he's not going to be a hands-off dad when Belle has the baby.

“OK,” says Bo, “If you're seeing the baby you've gotta be seeing the mom. Are you OK with being hands off of Belle, too?” Shawn stares.

Mimi thinks this will probably be the last dessert she ever has with Shawn. Bonnie doesn't think that will happen. “Let's see,” says Mimi, “How many children does Belle have with Shawn now? Two. How many do I have? None. Short of pulling a Sami Brady I am through – you know, breaking into the hospital lab and switching the DNA results.” Bonnie likes that idea. Mimi reminds her she's been to jail before, “It's not really for me.”

Bonnie starts making plans for the switch. “Shawn is my husband and it's my life. Stay out of it. No dirty tricks. Lies are more my style.”

Jack reads his copy, “I lead the way looking for answers...”

“YOU lead the way,” asks Jennifer, “Was anybody with you?”

Jack insists he led the way. Jennifer can make notes on any changes she wants. She holds up a stack of paper, “What do you think I've been doing?” As they bicker, Jack's phone rings. He gets the message and hangs up, “That was Deep Throat. He wants to meet again right now – at the warehouse.” Off they go.

Jack and Jennifer sneak into the warehouse. Jack suggests Deep Throat may not want to see Jennifer. More bickering. “Please,” says Jack, “Just play the Lois Lane role. Let me wear the cape.”

“And the tights.”

“And the tights,” says Jack, “I just don't want anything to happen to you.”

Jennifer understands, “This is DOOL, nothing ever happens.” A scream interrupts their tender moment.

Billie says, “There is an old saying – 'no good deed goes unpunished.'”

“I don't get it,” says the brat.

That's because you don't have much experience with good deeds,” says Billie. She says sometimes good deeds get misinterpreted. She thinks if the brat gives Shawn a little time he will eventually realize she did not intentionally try to hurt him.

“Shawn isn't the only one who misinterpreted what I did,” says the brat, “Max broke up with me.”

“Aawwwww, honey, why?”

“He said I have a bad track record, I'm a liar, I suck, yada-yada, you know... the truth. He just left me.”

Billie promises she will not leave her, “I predict something good will come of this. You might get 20 years.”

Shawn tells Bo he was just trying to make sure he would have time with his child. It had nothing to do with his feelings for Belle.

“So you do have feelings for her.” asks Bo. He gets flagged for unnecessary roughness. Shawn walks out.

Bonnie justifies her plan to switch the DNA information. Mimi says she doesn't want to be in a marriage where she has to watch her step all the time. She wishes she had told Shawn the truth months ago. Bonnie begs her not to tell. Bonnie says if telling the truth is what Mimi has to do, she will stand behind her 100%. Stick a fork in Mimi, she's done.

Mimi thinks Bonnie gave in too fast. She hopes she's not up to something.

Bo calls for an escort for the DNA sample. Billie and the brat walk out. Billie asks if the brat is free to go. Bo says yes, “This DNA sample is on its way to the lab. Once the results are in I will give you a call and this mess will be cleared up for everyone.”

Bonnie insists she isn't up to anything as Shawn returns. Mimi asks how things went.

“Routine,” says Shawn, “They just swabbed my cheek and sent it off to the lab.”

“Which lab,” asks Bonnie, “I didn't catch the name.” Shawn says that's because he didn't say it. Bonnie gets a sudden headache. She decides to leave Shawn and Mimi alone to enjoy dessert by themselves.

Mimi apologizes for giving Shawn a lunatic for a mother-in-law. She asks when the test results will be in. Shawn tells her it doesn't matter, since there is no possible way he could be Claire's father.

Jack tiptoes around the warehouse talking to thin air. He tells 'Mr. Throat' he would appreciate any additional information he can give him. Suddenly, scoundrels rush up and throw a bag over his head. Jennifer screams as she gets bagged, too.


Billie tells Max, “You know Chelsea, she has a tendency to go off the deep end.” Max says, “It's not my problem any more.” Stephanie smiles.

EJ holds up a small envelope in front of the brat, “Ecstasy!” The brat smiles.

Patch tells Kayla, “I'm sorry. This just isn't going to work.”

Billie says to patch, “I don't know about romance. Love is in the moment.” Hot kiss.


Anonymous tj7812 said...

"Billie says to patch, “I don't know about romance. Love is in the moment.” Hot kiss."

All I can say is NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!!!!!!!! Why are they ruining Steve and Kayla???

4:54 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"Why are they ruining Steve and Kayla???"

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the writers of DOOL incapable of intelligent writing.

5:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(Yawning) Bonnie swithces the DNA. Just before Mimi can tell the truth, Bo dursts in saying the DNA tests "confirmed" Shawn is not the father. Shawn asks what Mimi was going to say. "I love you" says Mimi.

oops - Sorry! Didn't mean to post a future scene, no matter how predictable this is going to be.

6:18 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

Prevuze cracks me up. John swiping Doc's hair products. Shawn worried he hadn't studied for the DNA test. "Scoundrels" rushing up to nab J&J. HAHAHA

What cracks me up even more is the thought that Jack could get a "Pulitzer prize" for cracking a two-bit murder case that Claire could (and probably will) solve. LOLOL

6:38 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"John swiping Doc's hair products"

If that's what the hair product does, I'd say John did Marlena a favor by swiping it.

7:15 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

I love Jr. not being able to study for his DNA test! HAHAHAHAHA

Let's hope they use the usual Salem McDNA lab so the results get back before Bonnie gets to carry out her plan. Otherwise we'll have months of the brat whining around she didn't do it, yada yada.

Excellent Prevuze to get us ready for the weekend! :D

8:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think we have all waited long enough for the truth to come out about Claire,s true father to let Bonnie come along and screw up the real results to come out would just be a disapoint to me as well as the rest of your days viewers. Love a Fan

11:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think we have all waited long enough for the truth to come out about Claire,s true father to let Bonnie come along and screw up the real results to come out would just be a disapoint to me as well as the rest of your days viewers. Love a Fan

11:08 AM  
Anonymous billyjill said...

I never get tired of the multiple husbands cracks at Jennifer. But the studying for the DNA test takes the cake. Thanks again Prevuze.

11:47 PM  

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