Thursday, March 09, 2006

The Slap Heard Round The World

Calliope, Shawn and Mimi enter the church. Shawn compliments Calliope's hat, probably out of pity. Calliope tells them at the end of the day, the most important thing will be for them to be married. She tells Mimi she looks faint, but does seem like the fainting type.

"I'm not," insists Mimi.

Calliope wants to talk about the reception. Calliope likes a theme for weddings. She decides 'bubbles' will be the theme. Mimi isn't interested. They are a traditional couple. Calliope says, "When I lived in Salem hiring a gunman for the wedding was the tradition."

Phillip and Belle arrive. Claire is fussy. Like mother like daughter. Shawn takes her. Oh, the bonding! Mimi is uncomfortable. She goes to tell Father Jansen they are ready. Bonnie scoops some holy water into a bottle. Mimi comes up and tells her, "When Shawn finds out Claire is his daughter, the marriage will be over before it starts." Bonnie takes a swig.

Hope packs. She needs to be alone. Patrick thinks that isn't a good idea. He thinks Hope needs someone to be with. Hope asks, "And you're that person?"

"Yeah," says Patrick, "Just try it for a few days."

Billie and Bo talk. She thinks Bo is throwing the brat to the wolves. She wants to know if Hope weren't coming back would Bo be doing this.

"Chelsea's future is up to the courts, not me," says Bo.

Billie protests, "How will it look if her own father isn't on her side. It was an accident. Yes, you should stand by Hope – but not at Chelsea's expense." Bo stares.

Abby meets Chelsea in the pub. "You'll never guess what happened last night," says the brat.

"Wanna bet," says Abby. She holds up The Salem Intruder with a picture of the party snot plastered on the cover.

Chelsea looks at the story. She claims it's a total lie, "I didn't offer to have sex with him if he bought me a drink. It was a kiss. Max came in and lectured me. I took the film out of the camera. How did he get the picture? This isn't a good shot. I look terrible."

Abby says, "Chelsea, you're supposed to keep a low profile. Partying isn't the way to convince people. When Bo and Billie find out they will go ballistic."

Bo throws down the mail, including The Intruder. He says Chelsea has been out of control.

Billie reminds him, "We were out of control once too, remember?" Like, uh, last night, maybe? Guns, using Billie for target practice. "She's growing up, Bo. We're going to see a whole new Chelsea."

Bo sees the cover of The Intruder. He picks it up and shows it to Billie.

Shawn thinks it's amazing Zack saved Claire's life. Calliope thinks Claire thinks Shawn is her father.

Bonnie lights candles to pay for a few of her sins. She tells Mimi, "The only way Shawn will find out is if you tell him. You are too smart to do that. What happened between them has nothing to do with you."

"How can I marry him while I am keeping this from him," asks Mimi, "He deserves to know he is Claire's father. He needs to know before the wedding so he can decide."

Bonnie begs, "Please don't do this. You won. If you tell him the truth you'll blow it."

Mimi says, "You're always telling me how much Shawn loves me. Then why are you sure he'll choose Belle over me?"

Bonne says, "I'm not." Hug. "But if he does, are you willing to take that chance and live with that all the Days Of Our Lives. You're like a horse I bet on a while ago. She came from behind but then collapsed at the finish."

"So," says Mimi, "I'm just one more disappointment to you."

"No," says Bonnie, "I just want to know why you would spoil your happiness."

"Rex and I were happy too," says Mimi, "I don't want to make that mistake again. I have to come clean."

That's Shawn's cue to enter the room. "What are you talking about, Mimi," he says.

Hope appreciates the offer but wants to be alone. Patrick says, "It's none of my business, but I think it would help if you talked about things."

Hope says "You're right. It is none of your business. I would really appreciate a ride to the airport."

Bo holds the paper up and asks, "So this is the whole new Chelsea you're talking about? She manipulated you and you're defending her."

Chelsea comes home with Abby. They want to make sure Bo hasn't seen the paper. She comes in all happy-happy but sees the paper. Immediately, she shifts gears, "I can explain."

Bo nukes, "I'm tired of your explanations. You say you're sorry about everything. But Zack isn't cold in his grave and you go out partying. I'm outta here!"

Party girl asks, "Where are you going?"

"To church to pray for your little brother."

Bo storms out. Billie asks, "How could you do this?"

Bonnie claims Mimi is just being dramatic.

Mimi says, "Shawn, I have a confession."

Buttinsk-iope says, "She is right. It's time to go to confession. I'm gonna go get Father Jansen and get him a cushion for his chair in there because something tells me with this crowd he will need it."

Phillip and Belle make over Claire. Bonnie suggests they take her to the babysitter in the nursery. Claire, that is.

Bonnie takes Mimi aside, "You've got to keep that kid away from Shawn."

Mimi asks, "Don't you feel ashamed manipulating people in the church?

"Me and God have an understanding," says Bonnie.

"You know what," says Mimi, "Me and God have an understanding, too. Only mine involves telling the truth."

Bonnie walks Mimi through the wedding, "Imagine coming down the aisle. There stands Shawn, looking more handsome than ever. Happy. Waiting to make you happy too."

Belle stands aside, watches Bonnie and Mimi on one side of the room and Phillip and Shawn on the other. She twirls her wedding ring.

Bo walks up to the church and says, "Please come home Fancy Face, I need you."

Patrick goes to get a shirt.

Hope says, "I came here to run away from my problems, but they just follow you. There is someone else I blame for the accident. Me. I shouldn't have let him go to that sleepover. I blame myself. I'm a terrible mother. I deserve to be punished just like Chelsea."

Patrick holds her, "No, that's not true. Whatever gave you the idea you deserve to be hung by your toes and slowly lowered into a lake full of hungry piranhas? "

Hope apologizes for snapping at him. Part of her wants to hide forever. Another part knows she can't do that. Patrick says she doesn't have to face life right now. He wants to take her someplace before she leaves the island.

Bo walks in on the rehearsal. Shawn wants to know what he is doing there. "I was about to ask you the same thing," says Bo.

"Finishing up my rehearsal."

"And you didn't invite your parents," asks Bo.

Mimi takes Shawn aside and tells him not to make a decision he will regret. She doesn't want her wedding day to be unhappy for anyone. Shawn says he will do it for her.

Belle goes to confession with Father Jansen.

Bo asks if Hope knows about Shawn's plans. Shawn says, "Not exactly. I told her we would wait to get married until she got home."

"So you lied to her," says Bo, "Do you know how hurt she will be?"

"Not as much as you hurt her," says Shawn, "She had to get away from here. I don't blame her."

"It's been a while since my last confession," says Belle, "Is it a sin if you just think it?"

"That depends," says Father Jansen, "What is it. Do you have anything to confess?"

Belle says, "I'm in love with someone other than my husband, and don't know what to do."


Bonnie says, "There is nothing wrong for wanting the best for your kids."

"And what's best for Claire," asks Mimi, "Maybe father Jansen will know."

Bonnie asks, "You're going to confess this?"

"I can't have it on my conscience when I get married," says Mimi, "It means living a lie."

"That shouldn't be a problem for a pathological liar," says Bonnie, "At least Father Jansen has to keep it confidential."

"Haven't you ever worried about something coming back and biting you," asks Mimi.

"Nope," says Bonnie, "I roll the dice and take my chances. Besides if I walked into a confessional – whoa, baby. Bonnie imagines herself in a confession. She has a long list. On and on with the sins, "So, Father, I don't think selling watered down drinks is a sin..."

Earthquake. Fire. Father Jansen runs out yelling, "You're on your own!"

Meanwhile, back in the real confessional, Belle unloads, "It's not that I don't love Phillip. I love Shawn more. I know deep down he loves me, too."

Father Jansen says, "I recall he tried to prove that on his wedding day by driving his motorcycle through the window. You're not planning anything similar are you?"

"Of course not," says Belle, "My motorcycle is in the shop. I tried to make things right, but then Phillip was off to war and held prisoner and lost his leg. What can I do?"

"Pray for God's strength to honor your vows," says Father Jansen.

"Well," says Belle, "That's not really the answer I wanted. That would involve strength of character and actually growing up and being responsible for the dumb decisions I have made. I'm not really into that kind of nonsense. What if I stop the wedding?"

Father Jansen says, "That wouldn't change the fact you have a husband and child."

She brings up the D-word, "There is always divorce."

"The church doesn't honor divorce," says the good Father.

Belle rationalizes, "People do it every day."

"When you married Phillip you became one," says Father Jansen, "You were joined forever."

Bo tells Shawn he will have regrets if he goes ahead with this without Hope. Shawn says it's Bo's fault Hope left town. Bo says some day Shawn will have a child and will understand. Shawn insists he learned his lesson after the motorcycle thing and Chelsea needs to learn hers. They tussle. The Salem Intruder falls.

Phillip rushes out and breaks them up. Shawn picks up the paper and sneers, "You knew this and you're still defending her."

Billie tells Abby she'd like to be alone with Chelsea. Abby leaves. Billie says, "You promised me..."

"I got bored," says Bratula.

"You're trading prison for a fun night out," says Billie, "Everyone will read this. You won't get a sympathetic jury."

"Frankie can fix it," says the snot.

"Don't count on it," snaps Billie, "Hope sent Bo a message and said she is coming back for the trial. Bo will support her."

"You have to convince him to change his mind," says the brat.

"That may not be possible," says Billie.

"Yes," says the snot, "There is an easy way. You love him? Hope's gone. Put out for him." WHOA! Billie lives out everyone's fantasy and slaps her into next week! The audience cheers like everyone won the lottery. GO BILLIE! SLAP HER SILLY!


"How dare you talk to me like that," yells Billie, "You make another stupid decision and you want me to sleep with someone to save your butt. I will not seduce him in order to manipulate him!"

The little brat just can't quit, "It's not like you haven’t done it before. Hope is out of the picture. You have a real chance. You know I am right about this."

"Stop it!"

Patrick is sorry the boat ride was a little rough. Hope recognizes the spot. It is from the picture in Patrick's house. The orphanage. Hope doesn't know if she could handle being around a bunch of kids. Little James runs out and calls Patrick. He introduces Hope to James. "You're pretty," says James. Hugs.

Hope looks up at Patrick and mouths, "Thank you." Patrick catches a football from Scottie." Scottie asks, "Is she your wife."

Scottie says Patrick taught him to throw a football.

"Patrick can do anything," says James.

"I'm beginning to believe that," says Hope.

The kids play football. Hope looks at James and imagines Zack. Scottie throws him a pass. James backs up to catch it and runs straight off the cliff behind him. Hope panics and runs after him.

Calliope asks if Belle is all squared with God. "I have to go help with Claire," says Belle. Calliope will take that to mean 'no.'

Bonnie lights more candles and prays for God to help Mimi.

Mimi confesses.

"You sound troubled Mimi," says Father Jansen, "Lots of brides get pre wedding jitters."

"God has forgiven me for some major things," says Mimi, "I just am probably pushing my luck now. I know something and if others find out it could change a lot of lives. Phillip is not Claire's father. Shawn is."

"And you've been keeping this from Shawn," asks Father Jansen.

"I've been trying to tell him," says Mimi, "If he finds out the truth he could leave me."

"I understand," says Father Jansen, "But I can't give you absolution until you tell the truth. Without that I can't marry you in this church."

"Truth," thinks Mimi, "Now, there's a new word. I'll have to remember to look that up in the dictionary when I get out of here."

The brat insists Billie loves Bo. Billie won't break up his marriage. The little snot knows about their history, "How many times have you wished you could have changed your mind? Bo is your true love. If you had stayed with him all of this would have been yours. You're getting a second chance. You love each other. Stop playing hooker with a heart of gold."

"You're amazing," says Billie.

"I'm serious," says the brat, "Do this or don't bother visiting me in prison. I won't see you. I won't have a mother any more!" She storms out.

Shawn tells Bo, "You sided with Chelsea over your own wife. You see, this is why Mom left town. And for her sake, I hope she never comes back."

Hope runs after James. She looks over the cliff as James hangs on by a couple fingers and morphs into Zack. "Hang on," Screams Hope, "Mommy's here!" She grabs a piece of wood and reaches down for him to grab it and... yep... screams as she slips and heads over the cliff. FF on Hope falling into the abyss.



Previews
========

Mimi says, "I just think forgiveness is really important." Bo says, "I just hope someday Shawn's mom forgives me."

Sami tells Lucas, "I am gonna be with Austin. Just you wait and see."

Lexie holds Carrie by the shoulders. Carrie has her eyes squeezed shut. Lexie asks, "Which man do you want most." Carrie says, "Austin!" Sami looks on.

Lucas is carrying flowers. Austin asks, "Those for Carrie?" Lucas says, "Yeah actually. I got a hot date, you know." Austin says, "Sorry, Man. Ain't no way that date is gonna happen.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! Will is beginning to get the hang of the typical DOOL family tree.

So many funny things today...OMB and his memory problem; Clair fussy like her Mom; Father Jansen's very perceptive observation about Belle loving someone 'other than herself'.

And of course the absolute best - the fabuloso Zackwackersmacker!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Unfortunately, tomorrow's previews looks like more lame Lumi/Carritin stuff. To heck with this recycled rehash - get on with some corporate intrigue!

7:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So the Picture of the intruder has Claire and the burning barn on it..... ? Wonder why?

8:52 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Wow! Score one for Salemfairy. I really didn't notice. I was too busy trying to read the text (plus Blogger was acting up this morning). In case you can't read it, the top headline reads, "Shocking Destroyed Evidence Revealed!" The text above 'baby Calire' reads, "Psychic toddler can predict your future." I can't make out the text above the 'barn.'

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does any one else think it's weird that they were letting little kids play football next to a cliff?

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So yet again, Salemfairy is ripped off by TPTB! Ha! sychic Toddler!

12:36 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

<< Does any one else think it's weird that they were letting little kids play football next to a cliff?>> Yes, but that never seems to stop the writers from having the characters do dumb things.

12:52 PM  

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