Friday, February 24, 2006

Incompetent Psychoblabbermouth

Lexie checks her watch and paces. Abe comes in, "My eyes are 100%. It will just take some time for recovery." Lexie suggests a celebration – wine and a nice, romantic fire. Abe says, "It's only my eyes that are 100%. Other parts of me are 0%. And a fire and wine won't cure that." Tek stands outside the door and listens.

The little snot walks out and sees Billie brushing on makeup, "Mom, you look great. Where are you going?"

"To check on your dad," says Billie, "When I left him this morning he had a bit of a headache."

The brat chuckles, "You mean a hangover?"

Billie says, "Uh-huh. He said he was going to go check on Hope, IF she would talk to him."

"Fat chance of that," she says.

"You are probably right," says Billie.

"So what are you going to do," asks the brat.

"I don't know," says Billie, "I'm conflicted about this. I don't want to ruin his life."

Snotula goes into high gear, "If he and Hope are together, she will convince him to throw me in jail. You need to do this. The closer you are with Bo the better it is for everyone."

With the great timing you only find on DOOL, Patrick walks in and overhears, "If you are trying to come between Bo and Hope, that would be a big mistake."

Bo cries in his beer as Caroline listens. Caroline says Hope will not always be this angry.

"She isn't letting me explain things," says Bo, "I'm angry myself. I'm mostly angry at me. The whole thing is my fault. You told me this would happen if I didn't tell her the truth."

"I know," says Caroline, "I raised an idiot. There are six phases of grief: anger, blame, guilt, betrayal, isolation and beating a dead horse until the audience runs out screaming. You have to have faith in your love."

"I am the reason our son is dead," says Bo, "Every time we look at each other for all the Days Of Our Lives we will know I am responsible. How am I going to get past that?"

Caroline says, "It will all pass when you find Zack alive and held captive by Tony DiMera in about fifteen years."

Hope says, "I hope you don't mind me going away."

"I totally understand," says Shawn, "In fact, it's one of the few things I do understand."

"What am I thinking," says Hope, "I can't go away. I'm not missing your wedding for anything."

"That makes one of us," says Shawn.

Belle waves the paper in Marlena's face and tells her the wedding can't happen, "There is no way Shawn can marry Mimi!"

"I thought you were talking about Alex and me," says Marlena.

Oops. Belle says, "I was. I don't know why I said that."

"I do," says Marlena, "Any connection between your brain and your mouth is merely coincidental. And, besides, you still have strong feelings for Shawn."

The technician tells John he has no authorization to give John Lois' autopsy results. He has to wait for Abe to arrive.

John looks into the morgue window as Alex rambles on to Lois. John squints and works his mouth.

Lexie is exasperated. She is aware of Abe's condition. She thinks they can still be close. Abe says that is torture for both of them. Lexie thinks of it as enjoying each other's company, "Dammit Abe, I want my husband back!"

"I'm just not going to put us through this," says Abe.

Lexie begs, "Don't shut me out... please."

"That's not what I am doing," says Abe.

"Good," says Lexie, "Because I need you. You have your eyesight. This other thing..."


"Yes," says Lexie, "It could be psychological."

"I can't talk about this," says Abe, "I need to go meet John. I don't know when I will be home."

"I'll have the wine and fire waiting just in case," says Lexie.

Abe leaves. Tek moves in. Hot stares.

Belle still has feelings for Shawn. She doesn't understand this thing with Alex. Marlena thinks children idealize their parents. Belle doesn't agree. John and Marlena were the perfect couple, but she isn't idealizing them you understand.

"I know you want me to be with your father but that's not going to happen," says Marlena, "You need to listen to your heart."

Belle says, "I've done that before but all that thumping confuses me.."

Alex thanks Lois for making him look like a hero in Marlena's eyes and John look like a villain, "With any luck John will go to prison and I can carry out the rest of my plan. No one will be there to stop me."

Alex covers Lois back up as John rushes in and roughs him up, "I've been right about you all along. You're going to make Marlena your next victim."

Alex is calm and cool, "Yes, that is my plan."

"What are you going to do to her," snorts John, "Answer me!"

Billie tells Patrick he is the one coming between Bo and Hope, "You are the one who turned in Chelsea."

"Yeah," says the Zackwhacker, "Who made you the judge and jury?"

"No one," says Patrick, "But hat's who should decide your future. You don't have to worry about me, anyway. I am leaving Salem."

Billie asks, "To get away from me and my daughter?"

"You did say you never wanted to see me again," says Patrick.

"I don't," says Billie.

The conniving little brat thinks, "Way to go, Mom!"

Patrick says, "Well, I did talk to my mom and you can stay here."

The brat chimes in, "And now, Patrick, you can get on with your life and find some new woman on the beach."

"How did you know I was going to the beach," asks Patrick.

"It's winter and anyone getting away would want to find some warm sunshine," says the brat, "I just thought it made sense."

Patrick says, "What does that have to do with anything? Nothing else on this show does. Patrick wants to know what she is up to. He tells Billie she should watch her back. THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS.

"Goodbye and good riddance, Patrick." The brat walks off in a huff.

Patrick turns to Billie and says, "I know she is your daughter, but that girl is working you."

Caroline counsels Bo. Bo doesn't want to feed Hope's anger. Caroline advises him not to turn to Billie for support. Bo has to spend time with her because she is Chelsea's mother. Caroline says, "Hope will see that as you choosing them over her. You love each other. That love will see you though this."

Shawn encourages Hope to get away, "You should go and take care of yourself. How about if I came with you?"

Lexie tells Tek he shouldn't be there. Tek says, "Abe is neglecting you. I heard what you said."

"You shouldn't listen to our private conversations," says Lexie.

"I just happened by," he lies, "I'm here investigating the suicide that took place last night. Abe is neglecting you. I'm here for you." He moves in.

Hope just wants Shawn to be happy. He says he really loves Mimi. "I hope so," says Hope, "I have to tell you, for a while, I was rooting for you and Belle to get back together. I have to believe God saved Claire's life for a reason. Promise you won't tell your dad my plans." He promises. Hugs. "Don't worry," says Hope, "I'll be back for the wedding."

Marlena says she isn't advising Belle to leave Phillip. She is saying Shawn is her one true love.

"Why is everything so messed up," asks Belle, "You know Shawn is my true love, but why don't you see Daddy is yours?"

You took marriage vows and feel they are sacred. So when you see me leave your father that really has to give you pause. You see, the difference is, I have a cornucopia of sacred wedding vows to choose from."

John does his best Phillip Marlowe, "Start talking, pal."

Alex asks, "Do you have a tape recorder? Otherwise, how will you remember? Waitasec, you're a hotshot ISA agent. How rewarding would that be for me to just give you all the answers? No, I've reconsidered... for me to know and you to find out."

John gets serious. Alex reconsiders, "OK, I'll tell you. What I am going to do to Marlena is cause her more pain and misery than she has ever suffered."

"You killed Lois, didn't you," asks John.

"Yes," says Alex, "She was an incompetent psychoblabbermouth. You have cried wolf too many times. No one will believe you if it's my word against yours. There is no evidence that puts me near Lois at the time of her death, but you injected her with truth serum. I win, you lose."

John uses him for a punching bag. Abe runs in and breaks them up. Alex' face looks like a couple pounds of ground sausage.

Patrick says, "You know, Chelsea is selfish." STOP THE PRESSES! "I wonder how far she will go to stay out of jail." Billie defends her. Patrick says, "You didn't raise Chelsea. You can't take responsibility for her actions, nor can Bo."

"She is our daughter."

"I know," says Patrick, "But from everything I have seen, she is bad news."

Hope finalizes the arrangements for her trip. She looks at a family picture and puts it in her purse. She contemplates Zack's teddy.

The brat sees Bo inside the pub. She goes in and tells him they need to meet with Frankie about the case. Bo knows. He isn't too interested. He has a lot on his plate right now. Chelsea knows all this is her fault. She hopes they can work through things. The brat tells him she knows Hope is out to get her.

"Hope wants to see justice done," says Bo.

"What if she wants you to turn against me, too," asks the brat, "This was just an accident."

"An accident," says Bo, "that might have been avoided if you had paid attention. I understand where Hope is coming from."

"You think I should be punished," she pouts.

"I'm just saying she is angry," says Bo.

Shawn walks up and sneers, "I should have know I'd find you two together. No wonder Mom wants to get away." So much for his promise to Hope.

Bo asks, "Get away? Where is she going?"

Shawn says, "Like you care."

Bo runs out.

The little snot says, "Damn you Shawn... now he's gonna stop her."

Tek and Lexie go at it. Lexie pulls away and slaps him.

"I thought I felt a moment of acceptance there," says Tek.

"Well, you didn't," says Lexie, "This is harassment. What do I have to do to get you to stop?"

"Stop kissing me back," says Tek, "It's not like you haven't cheated on Abe before."

"We are going through a difficult time," says Lexie.

Tek says, "When you lost Isaac the first time, Abe turned on you."

"That was my fault, not his," says Lexie.

"You are different from Abe," says Tek, "He is stable, maybe I should say... boring, you know... like the show. You are exciting. He's never there for you."

"Stop it," says Lexie, "He is a wonderful man."

"He doesn’t satisfy you," says Tek, "I want you. Tell me to go and I will leave."

Belle says, "You may have amnesia but you haven't forgotten how to put someone on the defensive, have you?"

Marlena says, "I don't remember our life together but I know I love you. As your mother, I want to help you sort all this out."

The brat comes up to Shawn. He tells her to get out. "I will," she promises, "But first, I just want to know if Hope is leaving Salem."

"I'm sure you would like that," says Shawn, "Then you wouldn't have to face her."

"I'm willing to take my punishment," she lies.

"Is that why you are playing up to my dad," asks Shawn.

"He's my dad, too. I feel guilty about all this."

"You should," says Shawn, "It's your fault."

Alex claims he was saying goodbye to Lois. John orders Abe to arrest him and tells him Alex confessed. Abe asks Alex if that's true. Alex says, "Go ahead John, give him the taped confession. Oh you don't have one. Well, what about the witnesses? Huh? How about just one? Not one creature hearing... Not even a mouse." Oh, the way they tie in such great works of literature!

John sniffs like someone just passed gas.

Patrick doesn't want to fight any more. He's leaving Salem for good, "Even if I hadn't blown the whistle on Chelsea, we wouldn't have been together. You'd have wound up in jail."

"I guess you were between a rock and a hard place," says Billie, "Look, this is your house. You don't have to leave on account of me."

"The reason I am leaving is I don't want to get between Bo and Hope. Every time I come near Hope, even as a friend, Bo loses it."

"What? Even as a friend," says Billie, "Have you approached Hope with some other reason in mind?"

"No," says Patrick, "She is a good friend and someone I am willing to walk away from. I hope you can do the same with Bo."

"I would never come between Bo and Hope," she lies, "So you are leaving because of Hope? You're running from temptation."

"No," says Patrick, "The bottom line is I am just leaving."

The brat tells Shawn, "I know this is all my fault. What else can I do?"

Shawn has a good suggestion, "Spend a lot of time behind bars."

"You will probably get your wish," she says, "I pray Hope can eventually forgive Dad. Or at least I hope he can stop her from leaving."

"She'll be gone before he even gets there."

Shawn leaves. The brat smirks.

Bo gets home to an empty house. Hope has left a check for the cleaning lady for the next two months. Bo calls the airport. He asks if she is on a flight. They can't help him, even if he is a cop. Bo runs out of the house.

Tek mumbles, "Just tell me you don't want me and I'll go. You can't, can you."

Lexie says, "No." More heavy breathing. She gives in. Clothes ripping. Clothes flying. Tek pulls the classic move – he clears the desk in one swell foop. Let's see that again in slow motion! Oh, the passion!

"Being true to your word and keeping your family together is important," says Marlena, "unless it makes you miserable. Because then you regret the decision you made." That one wins the nomination for the 'Mixed Message of the Year' award.

"I am not miserable," insists Belle, "I just..."

"Love Shawn more," says Marlena, "You either have to stop Shawn from getting married or live your life without him."

Billie sits. Chelsea comes up to her. Billie asks where she has been. She says she went for a walk. Billie tells her Patrick has left. "That's good," says Kate Jr., "Now no one will stop you from going after Bo." The brat leaves. Billie remembers Patrick's words, "I wonder how far she is willing to go to stay out of jail?"

Bo searches the airport. He walks right by Hope but misses her. Patrick sits close by reading a magazine.

Alex claims he is innocent. John says he is there because he got a call saying the autopsy is ready.

Abe says no one called.

"OMG," says John, "You set me up!"

"More lies," says Alex, "I was with Marlena. You followed me here. I want another restraining order. You see what he did to my face, Abe. With the police commander as my witness, I won't have a problem convincing the judge."

Abe reminds John a condition of his bail is to stay away from Alex.

John growls like the tiger that ate Tony DiMera.

Alex starts to leave, "One more thing. I just can't wait to see Marlena in her wedding dress. And even more, I can't wait to see her out of it."

John nukes, "I came here and he was thanking Lois and saying that now it would be easier to get to Marlena."

"He admitted he killed Lois," asks Abe.

"Affirmative," says Captain Commando, "He's going to use the law to keep me from protecting my wife, but I tell you one thing, Abraham, I WILL PROTECT HER. Even if I have to resort to overacting! "

FF John Alex.


Alex asks Marlena, "Does this mean you are having second thoughts about renewing your vows with me?"

Lucas says, "This isn't a business dinner. I am asking you out on a date." Carrie smiles.

Austin asks, "What did she say?" Sami says, "Oh, come on, Austin, you told me not to be nosy, remember?" Austin says, "No, I'm serious. Why don't you tell me, what did she say?"

Hope stands in the jetway and thinks, "Goodbye Zack... goodbye Bo."


Anonymous applecheeks said...

Loved the "Snotula" moniker for Chelsea.

Please, someone, call the ASCPA! All these dead horses getting beaten daily is cruel and unusual torture. For everyone. HAHAHAHA

Great pictures and Prevuze. It always helps me get through the day.

4:55 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

I almost had spewed oatmeal - I made the mistake of eating while reading Prevuze and when I got to "Snotula"...

The same thing happened when I read Belle's confusion over the thumping and Squints smelling the fart. HAHAHAHAHA

Prevuze was in rare form today. A great way to start a Friday!!

8:11 AM  

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