Saturday, October 30, 2010

Videos And Prozac

I've pretty much had it with our little satellite issue, but it seems this thing is going to drag on longer than a DOOL buried-alive plot. So here's the latest...

We've had volunteers — really great people who have stepped forward to help with the issue, but for one reason or another things haven't worked out.

Right now we're working with someone who is ready, willing and able to help but so far the technology we're working with is un-ready, un-willing and... you get the idea. I'm hopeful this one will work out, but it's too early to tell.

And... uh... well... this has to remain a secret just between you and me... OK? No one else is to know. I've been receiving the Canadian day-ahead video for a couple weeks now. That's right. I've been getting a crystal-clear copy of the Canadian broadcast — I've been getting exactly what I'm asking for and I didn't tell you. It's my fault... I feel so guilty for keeping a secret from you... I don't know if I can live with myself...

What? You don't believe me? Well... For your information, I have proof. Video proof... just like Arianna. Hmmm... I hope that doesn't mean I'm about to lose a battle with a 2010 Hummer and become the next menu item at the Roadkill Cafe. Still don't believe me? Well, take a look at this — Monday's previews for the Tuesday US broadcast...

OH, CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME FOR KEEPING THIS SECRET FROM YOU? I did it... I did it for you. I did it to protect you. I did it to protect you and the ones I love. See, the person who is sending me the videos can't do it on a regular basis. So if I had started posting the day-ahead recaps, then when they stopped coming I would only have had to rip them away from you — and ripped your heart out along with them. And mine, too. OH, GOD, I LIED TO YOU! HOW CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME? HOW CAN I FORGIVE MYSELF?

Wait... wait... don't walk away from me. It was just a couple of shows. It meant nothing. It was the pills... yes, the pills made me do it. I didn't know what I was doing... I... uh... I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU! I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU SENDING ME THE VIDEOS! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING... GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE! I'll make it up to you. I'll do anything you want. I'll even lie for you. I'll write recaps that say your favorite couple is together and living in bliss even when they hate each other. I'll say [insert the name of the DOOL character of your choice] is intelligent. I'll even say the writing is good. Oh, sob God snivel I've sniff hit whine the bawl bottom wail of sob the cry barrel! Waaahhhhhhhhhhhh...

So, please... Canada... I need you to (say it with me) be there for me. We're good together. And that unfortunate "54°40' or fight" thing... that was just a little dust-up. Don't bring that up. The past should remain in the past. It is what it is. I just need... I just...


And Prozac, eh?

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at:

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ohhh Prevuze,

How ye have lied to the faithful, and down troden of your followers.
Will we ever forgive ye? That remains to be seen.(literally)
But we need ye, and cannot live without ye.
Come back Prevuze to the dark side of DOOL.
Where we can get our show, before the rest, laugh at the writing, cry about the writing, it is our quest.
Always remember and never forget ye have an audience just like the rest.
Only you are the best.
Sorry kinda in a funk. Just missin my prevuze.c

3:32 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Prevuze! It's not that you lied to everyone else, it's the fact that you lied to ME! You didn't trust ME. I wouldn't have told anyone else (well maybe Bulldog and Leslie and Betyar and everyone else I ran into on this blog). But other than that - my lips would have been sealed!

How can I ever trust you again? How do I know everything you've ever told me isn't a LIE?

That Caroline's chowdah isn't the best constipation cure around?

That the SPD aren't the clueless clowns you've portrayed them?

That Maude from Podunk PA isn't out in the audience, cheering for the de-shirtification of every male on the show?

You'll just have to give me some space. Give me some time. I'll need both to try and get over this bombshell of a confession.

Monday morning is probably long enough. See you then!

PS: Don't tase me bro!! LOLOLOLOL

6:11 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

If the faithful can't get their Prevuze, then we're going to have to get hooked on Prozac. I'm already dealing with the DTs just contemplating the horrors of not getting my days ahead fix. I'm with Vivian on this. We need to get to a church, a synagogue, and/or a mosque to pray that a very benevolent Canadian will release us from our sarcophagus of satellite hell. Oh Canada....

On a brighter note, Happy Halloween weekend everyone!!!

6:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Loved the 'Don't taze me, Bro' being from Philly and all. (It never gets old LOL). So, you've been holding out us, Prevuze? Like I said last week, I'll take my snark any way I can get it...and since the only DAZE I watch is the clip at the end of the recap, I'm good. Happy Halloween. Go buy some eggs, everyone, it's Mischief Night!
PS word verification is 'reakings' as in these storylines are really reaking(s).

8:04 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Well now I'm beginning to wonder. How do we know you're you?! Maybe the real Prevuze has been kidnapped. Maybe tied up in a chair at the Prevuze compound while......oh my! What if Norris and the girls are holding you captive and are going to put the signal up for ransom??!

Oh if only you'd revealed the location of the top secret compound we could send help!

All of us readers should take a nice long walk into the woods by wherever we live and search. Hey, it always works on DOOL. One of us is bound to find you. (And it looks like it's going to be a beautiful day, at least where I am.)

Eventually we will be there for you. And Happy Halloween weekend everyone else. Hang in there, Prev!

8:17 AM  
Anonymous Shelley Keddy said...

It was only a couple of shows it meant nothing oh how you tear my heart out! Just teasing. I totally understand Kayla's last day in Canada is Tuesday so then I won't be taping it until she returns but she is already taping again so she should be back in 6 weeks to a month so I'll start watching again then. I hope you find another clipper and not just one who tapes when their favorite recurring actress is on but someone who can help you out full time. I am a long time fan of this show but I just find it hard to watch now but I always find prevuze great, your much better than the actual show!

9:20 AM  
Anonymous Shelley Keddy said...

should have typed 6 weeks to 2 months time she'll be back and I'll be taping again.

9:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK Prevuze I forgive you. Hopefully you will be up and running a day ahead soon.

No rant just had to say OMG EJ looked way to sexy Friday. Buzz cut, expensive suit can that man get any more fine.

I was drooling. Yes I admit

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

Very dissapointed in you for holding out on us Prevuze!...and just as I was trying to wean myself off the Prozac, you do THIS to me? (by the way, I have a few extra pills if you need some...oh, no need to thank me)...just give me my daily dose of "a day ahead" recaps, damm it!!!...and you can be totally forgiven! Ok?! Well...perhaps NOW is not the time to give up Prozac entirely!

I hope you get your wish and find a good Canadian, who's willing, able, and equipped to tape this insanity, otherwise known as DOOL. Keeping my fingers crossed for all of us...

Have a great Halloween week-end everyone!

11:58 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Blogarama     Globe Of Blogs