Monday, April 27, 2009

CRAP!

Stephanie comes into the hospital waiting area and heads for Phillip's room. A cop stops her and asks for A picture ID. Stephanie scowls and rummages through her purse. She pulls out her wallet and hands the guard her ID card. "I'm sorry," says the guard, "I'll need something more than a membership card to the Scooby Doo fan club." Uh-oh. Strip search.

Inside, Phillip remembers getting shot.

Over in Stefano's room, Lexie says Stefano wasn't poisoned, "But there is something seriously wrong. Victor Kiriakis didn't do this. You did."

Sami tells Rafe she is sure she wants him in her life. "Until the next time you don't," says Rafe. They call his plane. Sami grovels and throws herself at him. Sami begs. Sami whimpers. Even though you thought it was impossible, Sami hits new lows.

Chelsea joins Max as he works at the pub. Max asks, "How's Phillip?"

"He's pretty doped up."

"I see," says Max, "I'm glad Stephanie is with him." Max complains about being busy, so Chelsea jumps behind the bar to help him work.

"What are you doing," asks Max.

"Getting ready to sling hash."

"We usually just carry it to the customers."

Stephanie stomps into Phillip's room and has a meltdown, "I can't take it! I can't take any of this!"

Phillip asks, "What? Are you watching yourself on DOOL? "

Rafe says, "I wanted to leave without telling you because I didn't want to go through this."

"Neither did we," screams a gal in the audience.

Sami thinks something special happened in the safehouse. "It did," says Rafe, "We got out." He tells Sami her life is in Salem and his is "out there." Sami has another hissy fit.

Lexie announces that Stefano has type II diabetes. Stefano laughs, "I thought it was something serious. I can handle it." Lexie lectures him about the way he lives his life and says he needs to do an about face.

Stephanie says she wants Phillip's guard to do his job – Just not on her. Phillip moans, "Stephanie, what have I done to you?"

Max isn't sure Chelsea can handle the intricate and complicated job of being a waitress at the pub. Chelsea points out that Max is messing up Mrs. Blevins' order. She vows to fix his mistake and smooth things over. Max says he will give her a shot, but no special treatment. Chelsea leaves as Max picks up an envelope sitting beside the cash register and twiddles it.

Sami turns up her tantrum and starts tossing things. Rafe says, "I'm doing what I think is right."

Sami screams, "My dad has a police term for that: CRAP! I think you're You're scared of me."

Rafe says, "And I have a term for that: CRAP!"

Sami asks, "Can we use filthy language like that on TV?"

"I think so," says Rafe, "But Prevuze will probably put it behind a censored link."


Sami goes off the scale, "Since I told you how I felt you've been bobbing and weaving to avoid it. So I'm gonna say it. I've never met anyone like you and I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. I would do anything to stop you from getting on that plane."

Prevuze

Lexie tells Stefano this disease can bring him to his knees. She leaves to start the admitting process. Stefano asks EJ to go after her and tell her he is sorry. Once EJ leaves, Stefano gets up and rips off his arm bandage.

Phillip thinks he has put Stephanie in danger. Stephanie says it was her choice to be with him, "I feel alone, but not when I'm with you."

"I never knew you had that level of insight," says Phillip.

Chelsea sees Max toying with the envelope. He tells her he thinks it's probably a rejection. Chelsea suggests if he opens it he might find out.

"Gee," says Max, "I never thought of that." He opens it and reads.

Chelsea asks, "What does it say?"

More Rafe-Sami ridiculousness. Sami says she wants him to hear her say she's sorry before he leaves. Two men in black suits walk up to Sami. They grab her and confiscate her membership card in the National Organization For People With A Shred Of Self Respect.

Max reads, "I didn't get in, but it's not a rejection either."

"So," says Chelsea, "It's a pre-rejection letter."

Max explains, "It just acknowledges they received my application." Arianna interrupts and announces her presence.

"I'm sorry," says Max, "I've been preoccupied talking to Chelsea instead of doing my job, or I would have had the red carpet ready for you." Arianna leaves and Max apologizes for freaking out.

"That's OK," smiles Chelsea, "I'm sure the next letter will be one from Salem U accepting you."

"It's not from Salem," says Max, "This is from a school in Chicago."

The blood drains from Chelsea's face, "If you get accepted there you're gonna move. So what about us?"

Max snaps his fingers, "Damn shame about that, isn't it?"

Stefano has hotfooted it back to the mansion. As he takes a metal box from his safe, EJ walks in and lectures him for bugging out of the hospital. Stefano says he can't be a patient there under the circumstances. He's decided to go to Brunei and will come back when he is in fighting shape.

"So," asks EJ, "You're going to take care of yourself then?"

"Yes," says Stefano, "And you... are going to take care of Kiriakis."

Lexie joins Phillip and Stephanie. Phillip sees her and snarls, "Get the hell out of here." Phillip knows when Dr. Carver enters the room, his life is on the line.

We're back at the airport. I can't describe the ensuing conversation since the US government has officially banned torture. They call Rafe's plane to board and he heads down the gangway.

Chelsea is devastated about the possibility of Max moving away from Salem. Max says, "Chelsea, it's Chicago, not Antarctica."

"You've never been there in the winter have you," says Chelsea. She thinks they will never see each other.

Max asks, "Why don't you move with me to Chicago?"

"You're a White Sox fan. I'm a Cubs fan. It would never work out."

Phillip don' wan' no stinkin' DiMera sawbones touching him. Lexie leaves.

Stefano is on the phone. He thanks her highness and says he looks forward to seeing her again. He hangs up and tells EJ everything is arranged. EJ rolls his eyes, "Gee, I wonder if Bo Brady would give you a ride to the airport."

Stefano fires a volley of his own, "If I can give up a few liqueurs you can at least give up a little sarcasm." Stefano says he doesn't want Victor to think he is running. EJ doesn't care what Victor thinks. Stefano says he has no qualms about leaving Elvis in charge, because he has proven himself, "And besides, the other candidate for the job is dead."

Stephanie has a headache. Phillip thinks that must mean she's mad at him. Stephanie whines, "Tony died, you almost died and now you hate Lexie. When does it end?"

The viewers say in unison, "Soon, we Hope." Stephanie turns and leaves.

Chelsea insists she can't move to Chicago, "I just signed a lease to share an apartment with Stephanie. Conveniently, Max reminds her Arianna is looking for an apartment. He shouts across the room and asks if she would be interested in sharing a nice two bedroom deluxe hovel with someone.

"You bet," says Arianna, "Unless my roommate would be Stephanie Johnson. No one could take that."

With the big apartment problem solved, Chelsea decides she is peeved Max didn't ask her before he made the decision.

Stephanie apologizes to Lexie about Phillip's behavior. Lexie wants to know if Stephanie needs to talk to a shrink. Stephanie insists she's fine.

EJ beats himself up for not handling things better. Stefano tells him to just focus on what needs to be done. EJ says plans for Phillip have to be put on hold. Stefano argues with that.

Sami wanders wanders around the empty waiting area like a lost puppy and pouts. Predictably, Rafe comes back, "It seems I missed my flight."

Sami asks, "Are you waiting on the next one?"

Rafe shakes his head, "There is this girl and she has commitments and she has to stay in Salem and if I went to New York we wouldn't be in the same city."

"I never knew you had that level of insight," says Sami.

"I think that would kill me," says Rafe.

"I think you should tell her," says Sami, "I think that would be the best news she's had in a long time. They fuse themselves together, and then Sami rants about him being mean to her.

"You want me to shut you up," asks Rafe. He shuts her up.

Max and Chelsea discuss how he could possibly make a decision about his life without her.

Lexie brings Stephanie water. She says Phillip's prognosis is excellent. She wonders what Stephanie will do when he is released, "The Kiriakis and DiMera families carry a lot of baggage."

"Good," says Stephanie, "Then surely we can find someone to help carry his stuff out."

Suddenly, Lexie's phone rings. She looks at her text message and tells Stephanie, "I have an emergency. There is a patient on 2-South who might live and the hospital needs the bed." Lexie tells her to take care. She leaves.

Stephanie goes back into Phillip's room. Once inside, she makes a call, "It's me. I need your help."

EJ wonders how Stefano is going to get through airport security. Stefano says someone else will go through security for him, "Mr. Rossi. I have a marked resemblance to him. He's been eating for months to get his weight up." As he goes to pack he tells EJ he will miss Sydney, "In just a few minutes you will be in control. You earned it." He leaves.

EJ mumbles, "I don't want it like this."

Sami and Rafe put on a show for the people in the waiting area. Sami comes up for air, "I think we should take this home."

"Sometimes you have the best ideas," says Rafe.

Chelsea tells Max if he gets accepted he needs to go. He thinks the best case scenario would be him getting into Salem U. She says she'll go with him if he gets accepted in Chicago. They talk about having their own place and smooch. If you happen to be watching this on the big-screen in the Salem pub, it may be a while before someone comes to take your order.

Stephanie thanks the person on the phone and hangs up. She crawls in with Phillip and says she'll take care of both of them.

Stefano arrives at the airport and makes a call to EJ to tell him things are going well. A man follows him as he walks off.

Rafe and Sami come crashing through her front door. They careen around the room and Rafe slams her against a wall. Sami gets impatient taking his shirt off and pulls her patented button-ripping routine. Clothes fly. Hormones rage.

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11 Comments:

Anonymous Berg said...

I am never going to gain any weight if I keep upchucking my breakfast. EW! Sami and Rafe! So ridculous and unbelievably nasty.

Love that Prevuze takes a moment for life to imitate art. If Salem comes down with Swine Flu - it may just end the misery.

Sami screams, "My dad has a police term for that: CRAP! I think you're You're scared of me." I have a word for this show and let's just say the word "Crap" doesn't fully describe it. Happy Monday.

3:42 AM  
Blogger Jennifer SR said...

Please tell me that Rafe knows how to use birth control!

4:21 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Stephanie stomps into Phillip's room and has a meltdown, "I can't take it! I can't take any of this!"

Phillip asks, "What? Are you watching yourself on DOOL?"
That’ll do it for sure!!

Sami thinks something special happened in the safehouse.Yep, things got especially stupid. Now, isn't that special?!

Two men in black suits walk up to Sami. They grab her and confiscate her membership card in the National Organization For People With A Shred Of Self Respect.They must have had a hard time finding Sami. That card should have been confiscated long ago. Geez.

"It's not from Salem," says Max, "This is from a school in Chicago."Are the writers trying to suggest that Max applied to Northwestern or the University of Chicago? It's more likely that he sent an application to Joe’s Garage so that he can study to be a transmission doctor.

Max asks, "Why don't you move with me to Chicago?"

"You're a White Sox fan. I'm a Cubs fan. It would never work out."
The Cubs/Sox fan war makes the DiMera/Kiriakis feud look like a walk in the park.

Sami and Rafe – good heavens!! I’m guessing foreplay would include a lot of belching and flatulence along with an intense match of Uncle Wiggly or Cootie. I have to agree with Jennifer SR. Since Sami is birth control challenged, I hope that Rafe passed the FBI’s course requiring him to successfully place a condom on a banana. The last thing the weary viewers need to see is a little Safelet toddling about Salem.

After our miserable rainy weekend, I have Prevuze to brighten up my Monday morning! Thanks Prevuze!

5:34 AM  
Anonymous Shanice said...

Jenifer SR, I SECOND THAT!!!

Thanks a lot Prevuze! You're write-ups are wonderful and your humour cracks me up :D

6:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, Lord, I hope Chelsea goes to Chicago with Max. Otherwise, I guarantee you she ends up with Rafe.

7:32 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

“But Prevuze will probably put it behind a censored link."Apparently not. lol

One of the biggest HUH?! moments I’ve ever had watching DAYS:

I've never met anyone like you and I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about you.

What about Austin, Lucas, EJ and Brandon, Sami's other “soul mates”?

We're back at the airport. I can't describe the ensuing conversation since the US government has officially banned torture.

ROFL

Rafe shakes his head, "There is this girl and she has commitments….

I first read that as saying, “There is this girl and she has to be committed…”. Wistful thinking?

I loved the pictures with Sami promising to do ANYTHING and the renamed Cheatin' Artifical Heart.

While we seemed to have a little forward movement in the storyline (I like the Safe pairing as a change of pace) I sure hope Stefano's trip abroad is just a cover for Joe Mascolo's vacation and not a cheesy plot to get rid of him!

It's gloomy, raining and a Monday. But Prevuze has brightened my day considerably!

7:34 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

"You want me to shut you up," asks Rafe."

"Sami screams, "My dad has a police term for that: CRAP!"So this is the best today's tv writers can come up with now? You can hear more intelligent dialogue on TV Land on Gilligan's Island or the Brady Bunch.

It does appear like Stefano is sneaking out of the country. Aw come on, Stef, are ya yeller?

I'm glad to see Chax go. Wonder if they can take Stephanie with them?

Loved the swine flu picture and "When does it end? The viewers say in unison, "Soon, we hope." Amen to that! Uh, the dragging things out, not Prevuze!

Thanks for brightening an otherwise dreary rainy Monday. :D

7:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sami and Rafe Oh why, he is way better of being her friend, specially if she is so pulled to EJ, rafe said it himself then why sleep with her beats me. But this is Days so he will find out the hard way. Besides she and EJ really aren't done not with all those feelings that are totally "not" there. Poor Rafe.

Sandra

9:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, at least I will get to see Rafe shirtless. YUM! And what the heck is up with EJ's hair? He isn't in High School Musical. He needs to wash and cut it.

Deeds

10:07 AM  
Blogger Klaus said...

~"Doped up"? "Sling Hash"? what's up with all the quasi-drug terms.

~I like Sami and Rafe... kinda. I just want to skip all this nonsense atm. ;_;

Lexie joins Phillip and Stephanie. Phillip sees her and snarls, "Get the hell out of here."I've always thought Lexie to be neutral in these little wars they have. And I thought Philip would be the sensible one, oh well. DOOL is teaching me to never hope, and the lessons are sticking.

EJ mumbles, "I don't want it like this."How else are you gonna get it while he's alive genius?

~So Sami will up pregnant again. Let's see, that would be 4? 5? Merciful lord in heaven, no more babies.

~And what will Melanie do with big bro Max gone? I guess she can still be a thorn in a Stephanie's side or somehow join the DiMera/Kiriakis squabbles.

~Finally I'm ready for to them kill off EJ, I'm sure he's nice for the ladies to look at, but I just don't see a future for him with Nicole or Sami and I fail to see to how he would trust anyone again after putting up with those two.

12:29 PM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

I like Sami n Rafe. EJ is too twisted for me to enjoy anymore. And even Sami would have a problem with his personal hygene lately. I do like the return of evil EJ though, and I hope they keep that s/l going. Loved the Swine Flu pics of Stefano...but perhaps it would have been more believable if he was returning from a trip out of the country than going on one :)

Yes Berg, the Swine Flu running rampant in Salem would end our misery...but that would also mean the end of Prevuze, and I'm NOT ready for that!! It's sunny in the mid 80's here, and I'm about to go get myself a tan. Happy Monday everyone!

1:07 PM  

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