Nuptialus Interruptus

Stephanie and Phillip languish between the sheets in their posh hotel room. Stephanie sighs, "I wish we never had to go back to the real world."

"Why would we want to leave Salem," asks Phillip.

Outside, Masi tinkers with his pistol.

Sami comes back inside the pub. She tells Max she heard the church bells and figured that meant the wedding was over. Now she's decided Grace isn't feeling well, "I can't believe Nicole is actually married to EJ."

Max says, "I don't think the wedding has started. Sometimes at St. Luke's they ring the bells before the ceremony, especially one like this where the odds are really low they will actually get through it." Max goes for water. Sami tells grace she will still tell the truth.

Father Mack pops the question, "If there be anyone present who knows of a reason this couple should not wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Nuptialus Interruptus... Mia steps up. "I just wanna say..."

"GASP! "Mumble-mumble-mumble..."

Mia stands there. Moms everywhere have time to go fix lunch.

Mia finally continues, "I just wanna say... Nicole has been really good to me."

EJ remembers seeing Mia at the Java Café. He turns to Nicole, "Who is she?" He asks Mia, "Why are you interrupting my wedding?" Dr. Baker steps up, puts his arm around Mia and takes her back to her seat. Nicole tells EJ she doesn't know why Mia or Baker are there. "What is going on," he demands.

"It's nothing," says Nicole, "I'll tell you later."

Melanie is at the pier pacing around and talking on her phone, "I know I haven't paid the bill." She stumbles over the body lying on the ground, "I am a health care professional!" She walks around the body, "My phone is a matter of life and death!" She trips over the body and finally notices it is there...

BRADY!

Nicole tells EJ Mia has a lot of problems and she's been trying to help her, "I guess we wouldn't be us if everything went smoothly."

Stefano casts a glance at Flunky #2 who gets a message in his earpiece, "The target isn't alone. Does Mr. DiMera care about collateral damage?"

Flunky #2 makes eye contact with Stefano, "No, he doesn't."

Phillip checks out Stephanie as she sleeps. She wakes up. Phillip tells her he doesn't have trouble going to sleep. He just can't stay asleep. He says he has nightmares, "I'm trapped in a third-rate soap opera and the ratings keep falling... falling..."

The blissful moment is interrupted by a sound outside. Phillip turns his head, "Is somebody there?"

Melanie sees Brady lying at her feat in a heap. She freaks, "OMG! My phone is dead! I can't call!" Brady mumbles. He comes to. Melanie screeches, "What happened?"

"Payback."

Now that Sami isn't preoccupied with her own problems, she decides maybe she should check out Grace. She takes her temperature, "OMG! It's 101°!" She asks Max to call a cab so she can take Grace to the ER.

Lexie reads from the book of Proverbs, "The value of a worthy wife is beyond pearls. And as Nicole joineth EJ in holy matrimony, we casteth those pearls before swine."

Baker escorts Mia out into the foyer. Nicole turns to EJ and tells him she didn't invite Mia.

Melanie panics, "I can't make a call. What if you're not handsome any more like Mickey Rourke or something?"

"Why would you compare me to him," asks Brady.

"Right now," says Melanie, "You look exactly like his mug shot."

Brady tells her the thug took his cell phone. Melanie gets suspicious, "Did you go to that wedding I warned you about?" No answer. Melanie stands up and screams for help. Getting none, she helps Brady walk off.

Sami asks Max to get a washcloth so she can cool Grace off. Max asks if Sami got a full medical history when she adopted Grace. Sami assures him she did and scoots Max off.

Baker tells Mia he didn't want her to ruin everything. Mia insists she could love her baby more than the family from hell. Baker flashes back to the switcheroo, "There is something you don't know and it changes everything."

Lexie reads from the Bible, "Love never fails and wedding ceremonies never end."

Stefano eyes Flunky #2. The flunky radios in, "Is it done yet?"

Masi radios back, "Good grief, no. We'll stretch this out for the entire episode." He knocks and announces, "Room service." Phillip gets up, slides into his trousers and goes to answer. Outside, Masi aims the gun.

Sami is on the phone with her pediatrician, who tells her Grace is probably teething. Sami thanks the doctor, who has prescribed infant's acetaminophen. Max just happens to have some on the shelf next to the 12 year old scotch. He goes to get it. Sami assures grace she will tell the truth. Max comes back as Melanie and the man without a face walk in.

Masi aims, "I have a complimentary bottle of champagne for you."

Stephanie stops Phillip as he reaches for the doorknob. She has suddenly gone shy and tells him they should order something to go with it. Phillip tells the guy to leave the bottle outside the door. Back in bed Stephanie decides she wants a cheeseburger.

Outside, Masi snarls, "Enjoy your last meal." He points the gun.

Baker tells Mia to think about what is best for the baby. He also tells her the DiMeras are nasties, "You don't have a choice."

back in the sanctuary, the vows... The priest asks Stefano, "May I have the ring."

Stefano growls, "No!"

Back at the hotel, the maid interrupts the drama. Masi scoots off. Inside, Stephanie and Phillip argue over what to get to eat. Phillip wants something fancy. Stephanie demands her blue-collar meal, "I want Chesbuga... chesbuga... chesbuga..." Phillip finally agrees.

Out in the hall, Masi attacks the maid and swipes her key.

Sami and Max can barely recognize Brady. Sami shrieks, "OMG!"

Max asks, "Brady, what the hell happened to you?"

Brady says he was jumped from behind. He says he was mugged. Melanie tosses in her two-cents worth, "I found him in a pile at the pier and then he said this was about..."

Brady cuts her off, "It was a random mugging."

Sami wants him to get checked out. Brady refuses. Melanie yells, "Brady, don't be a guy! You have to have them examine you!" Sami asks Max to make sure he gets checked out and starts to leave. Brady asks if she's going to the wedding. Sami doesn't answer, and Brady insists she stay right where she is.

Stefano is in a mood to speechify before he hands over the ring. He says this has been an emotional time for his family. He points out they have all been at the church three times recently. They've been there for the big three... baptism, funeral and a wedding, "The Lord giveth and the lord taketh away and now we are here today to welcome another DiMera. Nicole has lived with us, and after she takes these vows she will be a part of our family so I have to ask her... do you truly understand what it means to be a DiMera?"

"Yes I do," says Nicole, "In addition to many other things, a DiMera obviously must be pompous and long-winded."

"Then you have my blessing," says Stefano. Smoochies all around. Adhering to the tradition of long-windedness, EJ announces he has something to say.

Phillip and Stephanie end round three... Or is it four? Stephanie says she got the room for two nights and doesn't want him to go back to work. Phillip promises he will have time for her in the future. He calls to order the chesbugas.

Masi uses the key to unlock the door.

Baker and Mia arrive at the Java Café. They find a table with a laptop on it and sit down.

Brady asks Sami not to go to the wedding. She says he can't talk her out of it. Brady says he knows it's pointless to try and lets her go.

EJ tells Nicole he has written his own vows. He launches into them, "I remember when you were in prison..."

Nicole corrects him, 'It was a holding cell."

EJ continues, "You looked gorgeous in your orange jumpsuit."

Out in the audience, a gal turns to the person next to her, "These are the most beautiful wedding vows I've ever heard. I may break down."

"I may hurl," says her neighbor."

EJ says he remembers Nicole in prison and how painful it was to leave her. He realized he wanted her to be with him. He vows to love and protect their daughter and to be the husband and father she wants. Nicole says she thinks that was beautiful. She starts to kiss EJ but Father Mack throws a block Brian Urlacher would be proud of, "You are not yet husband and wife... NO HANKY PANKY! "

Melanie and Brady have arrived at the emergency room. Brady yanks off his shirt. "Well," says Melanie, "We'll have to get you mugged more often." She asks if he didn't tell Sami everything because she is so intense.

"It's true," says Brady, "Sami overreacts a bit."

Melanie gasps, "NO!"

Brady warns her to beware of the DiMeras. He tells her he knew what he was getting into.

Mia and Baker are at the computer checking out the DiMeras. Mia can't believe everything they have done. Baker tells her the only people safe from the DiMeras are other DiMeras, "The fact that Sydney is a DiMera protects her. If you step in Sydney will suffer. If you want her safe you can't say or do anything. Nicole and EJ love her and will protect her. Don't ruin that."

EJ tells Nicole this is only the beginning. Nicole prays to herself, "Dear God, there are so many things that could have gone wrong today. Thank you for giving me my beautiful family." She and EJ light the unity candle. The starstruck couple stands there holding Sydney, contemplating the unity candle as it goes out. EJ hustles to light it again.

Brady tells Melanie she doesn't have to stay. Melanie says she doesn't mind, "I like the view." She wants to talk about Sami and asks why she went to the wedding, "Will she get beat up too?"

"EJ would never let anything happen to her," says Brady. He tells her about Sami's brood, including the fact that the twins have different fathers. The "health care professional" has trouble wrapping her mind around that one. Brady says he could feel the tension at the wedding.

Stephanie puts on a robe. Phillip tells her she looks sexy in it. "You ain't seen nothin' yet," says Stephanie.

"Oh yes I have..."

Mia can't believe Baker didn't tell her all this before. Baker says he was trying to protect his position. He advises her to run, "You gave up your baby. It's over. You can never look back."

The neverending ceremony continues. Father mac announces, "Peace be with you." Flunky #2 nods.

Phillip sleeps. Masi enters the room. He points the gun...

ZIP!

It's a direct hit, right in Phillip's artificial heart. Phillip vibrates and chokes.

We fade to father Mack, "...the love of Christ. Amen. I now pronounce you hus..."

"WAIT!"

Sami stands there ready to tell all.

Nuptialus Interruptus... Isn't this where we came in?

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