Saturday, June 14, 2008

Top 10 Reasons Why Ejami Should Be Together

After the Lumi-Ejami hullabaloo of last weekend, Killer and I got together for an emergency meeting of the Prevuze editorial board (Killer doesn't get a vote, but he can growl something that sounds like, "I'm there for you.") After much soul searching, gnashing of teeth and growling, we came to the conclusion that Prevuze must now become a died-in-the-wool Ejami supporter. Given that, we built the following case for that match made in heaven... uh, OK, so that may be a bit of an exaggeration... Ejami. Here they are, the reasons Ejami should be together:

• Viewers have finally recovered from their last hot love scene.

• Sami really doesn't mind being around someone who is prettier than she is.

• EJ can prove he is strong enough to learn to live with a rapist.

• Sami is ready to prove once and for all that blondes REALLY have more fun.

• Prospects for EJ having a twin he can hook up with are slim.

• Two words: Towel and gravity.

• Sami has a thing for has-been, washed up race drivers and Max isn't available.

• Celibacy makes such a gripping story line.

• Sami and EJ could move out of the DiMera Mansion and back into the DiMera Hovel.

• Lucas would be free to hook up with Chloe and we could call them WhineAs or possibly he could hook up with Belle and we could call them DumbAs.

• EJ needs to be punished for his past sins.

• Father Jansen, having second thoughts about his vow of celibacy, needs to know there is a guy out there who gets less than he does.

• EJ's blinking can keep the air circulating if the A/C goes out.

• After their night dancing by the river, they'd be a lock to win 'Dancing With The Fishes.'

• Sami's dad can keep an eye on EJ whenever he's in jail.

• Johnnie or Allie might need an instant law degree someday.

• They are so photogenic in those grainy nighttime police photos.

• EJ is always too happy to help Sami save Lucas' life, for a small favor.

• Electrifying steam room scenes.

• Anytime Sami can't find EJ, all she has to do is go look under the nearest rock.

• Men everywhere need to know: even the good looking ones don't get any after they're married.

I can't believe you're not convinced by now but, just in case... here they are... the top ten reasons Ejami should be together:

10. Who doesn't want to hear more of that annoying Santeen music?

9. EJ can empathize with Sami's former battle with bulimia the minute he tastes her cooking.

8. Sami can get the kids to behave with, "You'd better be good or Daddy will stick you in a freezer."

7. After an argument the make-up rape would be sooooo good.

6. Rewriting history is so much easier than doing it right the first time.

5. If rape can become, "A mistake I regret," murderers can start using the, "Oops, my bad" defense.

4. Sami is the only girl EJ wants to get naked with.

3. Guys need a better butt to stare at when Sami is on screen.

2. Sami has always wanted to be a herpetologist.

And... The top reason why Sami and EJshould be together...
|
|
|
|
|
V
DRUM ROLL
|
|
|
|
|
V
|
|
|
|
|
V

1. With Shawn and Belle gone, Prevuze needs a wacky couple to make fun of.

Happy weekend, everyone.

40 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always thought Prevuze was unbiased and an equal opportunity basher. This top ten Ejami list proves otherwise, because in comparison to the Lumi list from last week, it's pretty generous and positive. You went easy on Ejami, Prevuze, and I expected more from you.

I can laugh when you make fun of my favorites, as long as you make fun of the other guy's favorites with the same lack of mercy. But, that's not the case here. For a long time I've had the impression of unequal mocking of these characters and couples. Today's edition confirms it. This is a huge disapointment for me as a long-time Prevuze fan.

5:01 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Geez Louise, Prevuze, you ain't ever gonna win!

I, on the other hand, can take a joke, and challenge anyone to come up with half as much material as my revered Prevuze does. And let's face it, some characters or couples are just easier to make fun of.

Lumi, Ejami, whatever! I love Prevuze and appreciate all that you and Killer do!

5:20 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

I love Prevuze and appreciate all that you and Killer do!

Thanks. I appreciate what Killer does, too. Especially when he does it outside.

6:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you cant laugh at yourself that's just sad. Lumi fans light up. Its just a joke. They have ahd plenty of digs at Ejami and I never get offended. Dont take this stuff soo seriously.

6:12 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

6:44 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:03 AM  
Anonymous hberg said...

Looks like some hit a nerve! I think the comments that are all upset crack me up as much as this week's and last week's top 10 list. How can anyone criticize a blog? Get a life and your blog if you hate. This proves my point about having a life and a sense of humor. Love you Prevuze, and think I love Killer too - just like my growing love for NuJohn/Jawn. Hysterical!!!! Keep up the good work! I loved how this was to suppose to bust on EJAMI and yet it still managed to slam LUMI at the same time. Oh thank you! I also love how anonymous posters always have to point out the aren't the "other" anonymous poster.

7:04 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

(Third time is the charm here)

Wow, there's just no pleasing some people is there?

Okay Anonymous, here are some Ejami snipes from someone who's such a huge Ejami fan, I'm on the brink of flying to New York and slapping the writing staff in the head until they come to their senses:

Top 10 Reasons Ejami Should Be Together:

10. The Salem Rape Crisis center needs more "What NOT to do examples"

9. Because Jawn is going to need lawyer. (Notice I didn't say a "good" lawyer)

8. How else will Ali and Johnny grow up to be messed up dysfunctional teenagers?

7. EJ was raised in Europe so that means, three words: POINTLESS LOCATION SL!

6, It is HILARIOUS when they argue! Sami coming all unglued while EJ stands there and smirks, like a moron. Classic.

5. It's exciting to try and guess what career EJ will suddenly reveal he's qualified to have next. Keeping my fingers crossed for brain surgeon next!

4. EJ has the connections to get Johnny into his alma mater - Evil Villain Academy.

3. When EJ has that smug smile on his face, he bears a striking resemblance to Mr. Bean.

2. Lucas needs someone to help him with his target practice.

and the #1 reason

*

*

*

*

*

*
It gives male DOOL viewers hope that eventually EJ will drive Sami over and edge and we'll have:
CENSORED! DO NOT CLICK HERE!

7:09 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

I think they're all great! I'm always amazed Prevuze can come up with so many this time and the Lumi list as well. I can't even think of one I could add. My favorite of the EJami list.....
"Lucas would be free to hook up with Chloe and we could call them WhineAs". HAHAHA

I think the people who get so uptight about any of this are just too serious! If I was gonna write to anyone about any of DOOL it would be (to step aside from the EJami/Lumi debate for a sec) the writers to please, PLEASE keep Jawn and don't let Squints return.

Deb, your list is really clever, too. And a censored link to go with the best of them!

Thanks for BOTH entertaining Saturday lists, Prevuze!

7:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:25 AM  
Anonymous Cherry said...

Okay. You guys ARE hilarious!!! I do have to say a BIG EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW (!) to EJ driving Sami over the edge resulting in Sami/Nicole ( again ewwwwwwwwwwww!) but aside from that you people crack me up! great job! LOVE your blog!

Oh and too the people who feel that there's too much EJ worship out there, from a lumi fan perspective that may be true but just b/c storylines, spoilers and what not aren't in lumi's favour and haven't been for a while-that's no reason to take it out on the Prevuze person! Prevuze is great! It always has been and in all honesty the way lumi is being written right now it is SOOOOOOOO much easier to make fun of them than it is to make fun of EJami! Even I could could probably come up with a few great cracks against lumi and I haven't got a comedic bone in me.

7:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those of you telling Anonymous #1 to lighten up: would you be saying the same thing if they slaughtered Ejami instead of Lumi? It's easy to say lighten up when it doesn't happen to you. And, as someone who has read Prevuze for a few years and as someone who's not stupid, I know bias. Very disappointing. And, yes, I'm a different anonymous than the original poster. In fact, I'm the one who pointed it out to the FIRST anonymous.

I can take a joke as well as anyone, even with my favorites. And, to be honest, Lumi isn't my favorite. I'm not taking sides with either couple and think they should ship Sami off and put EJ with Nicole and give Lucas something more to do than yell. But, [stuff] like this just isn't right. There's enough stupid EJ worship in the world without someone who's supposed to be an equal opportunity snarker pulling crap like this.

But, I have to give Prevuze kudos for at least mentioning the blinking.

7:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And I'm a different Anonymous than Anonymous #1 or Anonymous #2 or Anonymous #3, but not a different Anonymous than Anonymous #2 on the comments two days ago or Anonymous #5 on the post last week. Maybe we could keep things a little more straight if some of these Anonymouses became Onymous.

7:47 AM  
Anonymous Shanice@FL said...

Great job Prevuze! As always!

My favorites from yours and Deb's:

1. EJ can prove he is strong enough to learn to live with a rapist. (looooooooooool-I love it!)

2. Two words: Towel and gravity. (I have a clip of that on my computer...)

3. EJ needs to be punished for his past sins. (your giving us some VERY naughty thoughts Prevuze! I'm wagging my little forefinger at you :)

4. Who doesn't want to hear more of that annoying Santeen music? (Oh gosh! glad to know I'm not the only one who hates that music now! At first it had some meaning but now they even used it for Max and Stephanie! Barf bag anyone?)

5. EJ can empathize with Sami's former battle with bulimia the minute he tastes her cooking. (love it!)

8. Sami can get the kids to behave with, "You'd better be good or Daddy will stick you in a freezer."
(chuckles)

9. After an argument the make-up rape would be sooooo good.

10. It is HILARIOUS when they argue! Sami coming all unglued while EJ stands there and smirks, like a moron. Classic.

But my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITES from both lists:

1. Men everywhere need to know: even the good looking ones don't get any after they're married.

2. When EJ has that smug smile on his face, he bears a striking resemblance to Mr. Bean. (SO TRUE Deb! So true! lol)

Thanks ladies! (Prevuze you are a lady right? lol, forgive me if you aren't) :)

7:50 AM  
Anonymous Debi said...

Well, to anonymous, I am one of those Ej worshippers and I appreciate Prevuze humor. I see no bias from Prevuze regarding Ejami. Ejami has taken many blows, not just here, some deserved and some not deserved. I love that Prevuze treats all characters equal and is so funny in the process. I love Prevuze and all I gotta say is "keep it coming". Prevuze is must read on a daily basis. Thanks.

7:57 AM  
Anonymous angmc said...

I'm outraged!! I can't believe you would mock my EJami, how dare you! *Tears start to form*. I'm going to stop reading...ehh..I can't fake the outrage ;)
Last week was funny, this week was funny. I love EJami and even I can laugh at some of the insanity around their storylines. If you can't laugh about this stuff then I feel sorry for all the Anonymous's out there.
Good job Prevuze and Killer..Next up Stax? Mnmmm..maybe not.

8:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my favorites were Daddy wil stick you in a freezer truck and EJ being prettier than Sami. LOL Soo sooo true. Sorry Allie. Please can you do Chan next? Or Jarlena? The second will probably give you much more material to work with. hahaha.

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been coming her for three weeks and I find the humor a breath of fresh air. I am a strong Ejami surpporter, and I still found it funny. Keep up the good work.
Thanks Prevuze, you make my week.

8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great job as usual Prevuze! Loved it!!!

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great list! Thanks for always making us laugh. Was that a typo for the number one reason? Why does it say the number one reason why Sami and Lucas should be together?

9:38 AM  
Anonymous Tricky said...

ejami fan here, i loved it so funny, my fav was ej showing he is strong enough to live with a rapist like ej once said, he is willing to forgive and forget, if you are.....thanks prevuze its always a hoot !

9:48 AM  
Blogger aplecheeks said...

Ahhhh, I can relax and enjoy life again. Was on planes all day yesterday and just got to a computer today. Two great posts to read. Many great comments to digest.

May Prevuze reign supreme forever....or at least until DOOL goes to that great hourglass in the sky.

Unfortunately, reading meant no time left for commenting right now. Just great, great stuff. I laughed like a nut and the people on each side of me (at their own public terminals here at the convention) are starting to move ever so slightly away. LOLOL

9:53 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Was that a typo for the number one reason? Why does it say the number one reason why Sami and Lucas should be together?

That was a typo. We changed it. Thanks

9:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymouse said...

Yep... Like I said last week, even Prevuze is catering to Ejami fans. And for the record, no, I'm not a Lumi fan. Hating Ejami and loving Lumi are not mutually exclusive.

hberg:
I loved how this was to suppose to bust on EJAMI and yet it still managed to slam LUMI at the same time.

So much for unbiased bashing, huh?

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Sherlindrea said...

LOL... I'm an EJami fan & still enjoyed your list. Thanks, as always, Prevuze... and Killer, too!

10:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is this, the Presidential Race? Why do we need to have equal 'snark' time for Lumi/EJami? What Prevuze (and the rest of us) do to ShawnDuh & Belle is far worse than any Lumi/EJami snark and I don't hear any of their fans complaining. They've been gone for months and we're still getting great mileage from them. BTW, EJ is just smokin' hot and Lucas is not. It's not his fault, it just is.
Cookie

11:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I see items like these:

• Viewers have finally recovered from their last hot love scene.

• Two words: Towel and gravity.

I can see why people might take Prevuze for an Ejami fan instead of being impartial. You had some funny ones, but you weren't as harsh (I mean that in a good way, I love it when you're harsh) as you were last week. Then this week's list zings the other side again. Just calling it like I see it.

Still love you, Prevuze.

11:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

• Two words: Towel and gravity.

Yeah!!!

you forgot

. No Lumi, means Kate can get back to her so-called "LIFE"

((or at least until Lucas starts dating Chloe - then it is game on again))

4:36 PM  
Anonymous tess said...

Thank you Prevuze, that was hilarious as always. My goodness though, you do get some nutcases posting, one would think they have nothing else in their lives but an obsession for lumi. It's not real folks - its a soap opera - there are lot more important things in real life to get this upset over.

Love the:
"Two words: Towel and gravity."
HA HA HA!

Thanks for roasting EJAMI - it was fun. Give Killer a pat, he did good too.

5:24 PM  
Anonymous hberg said...

"hberg:
I loved how this was to suppose to bust on EJAMI and yet it still managed to slam LUMI at the same time.

So much for unbiased bashing, huh?"

Um.. I call it funny not bashing. Love how Prevuze manages to get people so riled up :)

8:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"tess said...

Thank you Prevuze, that was hilarious as always. My goodness though, you do get some nutcases posting, one would think they have nothing else in their lives but an obsession for lumi. It's not real folks - its a soap opera - there are lot more important things in real life to get this upset over."

I don't think anyone here is buying stock in Kleenex. Let's be real, both fanbases have their fair share of nutcases. JMO, I think the Ejamis rank right up there with the J&M fans when it comes to obsession.

4:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rock on, Prevuze. Just when I'd finally stopped laughing over the Lumi list, you top yourself with an EJami list. Brilliant.

Don't let the haters get you down. And get started on that Chan list already.

11:06 AM  
Anonymous Cookala said...

Anonymous #2546 said:

"..JMO, I think the Ejamis rank right up there with the J&M fans when it comes to obsession."

Why, thank you! I think I rather *like* EJAMI (fans) being compared to (fans of) the biggest souper-couple to date.

2:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"EJ is just smokin' hot and Lucas is not. It's not his fault, it just is."

So true.

Loved the list and the comments are even funnier then the blog.

You have to do Chan next!

9:11 PM  
Anonymous Dana said...

Well, ya', I too got the impression Ejami wasn't as slammed as Lumi was (I think Stefano is brainwashing Killer), but I still loved the Top10, especially

2. Sami has always wanted to be a herpetologist.
and
5. If rape can become, "A mistake I regret," murderers can start using the, "Oops, my bad" defense.

=)) I spilled my drink when I read that one. (note to self: never drink while reading prevuze, danger of drowning!)

2:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"tess said...

Thank you Prevuze, that was hilarious as always. My goodness though, you do get some nutcases posting, one would think they have nothing else in their lives but an obsession for lumi. It's not real folks - its a soap opera - there are lot more important things in real life to get this upset over."


Go check out Ali Sweeney's last blog and some of the comments by the Ejamis. Nutcases abound.

3:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Again another hilarious post by Prevuze :) Thanks guys!

5:07 AM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...

I'm back and thank you for the Prevuze.

6:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To all of you who think Sami should choose EJ...even allow him to live in the house...well, I hope you never are raped. Some say it wasn't rape. It was. Rape is serious and I cannot imagine the writers making this kind of decision. Is there no moral obligation to what is right for the viewers. I quit watching the show about a year ago. I do come to Prevuse to see what happens with Sami and Marlene. NL

7:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bravo. Another great post. I knew you wouldn't fail us. I was the anonymous that posted after the Lumi list and you mentioned that you would be fair and do an Ejami one as well. Well, YES I did enjoy this one as well. Keep up the great...snark.

10:24 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home


Blogarama     Globe Of Blogs