Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Harlot

Phillip and Chloe went home last night to "just talk." Apparently it was either a very short conversation, or Phillip is a man who thinks actions speak louder than words. They wake up snuggling in bed.

"We didn't do much talking last night," says Chloe.

"I'm one of those guys who talks with his hands," says Phillip.

"In that case," says Chloe, "You had a lot to say."
It's time for the morning round...

Morgan and Chelsea work out. They share a catty conversation about girls who wear makeup to the gym, and then meet Crystal, who is the national sorority rep. She's organizing the breast cancer walk and she tells the girls she's glad everything worked out after the trouble they had last summer. Crystal leaves. Chelsea says she forgot how nice she was. Morgan suggests the art festival for this evening. Chelsea says she has plans.

"Care to share," asks Morgan.

"I have a date."

Daniel is on the phone making reservations with Maggie.

Kate primps. Daniel walks into her room and Kate does her best Chernobyl impression, "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

Lexie, Abe and Theo come down the hall. Lexie tries to bribe Theo into being good with a trip to the toy store. Theo does his best Marcel Marceau impression. Nurse Lindsay comes up and tries to talk to him. Actually she's just sucking up to the Chief of Staph. Abe says to Lexie, "You shouldn't worry until we know if something is wrong. Then you can make a real scene." Theo runs up to him and Abe takes him to the cafeteria. Lindsay tells Lexie she has the perfect family. Families have really gone downhill lately.

John walks in as Caroline and Marlena talk. He says, "Today was Rolf's day to cook breakfast and I didn't want anything strange."

"What can I get you," asks Caroline.

"Grilled livers smothered in assorted fruit," says John.

"One bowl of chowdah coming right up," says Caroline.

Marlena says she had a good time last night. John suggests next time she can sleep over. Marlena, still pure as the driven snow after all these years, isn't ready for that. John thinks she is still upset about Ava.

Stephanie tells Max she couldn't sleep last night. She can't believe what a jerk Trent is, "I could strangle him. And the same goes for you."

A gal in the audience stands up and screams, "GO FOR IT!"

Nicole walks outside as her Pookie-bark ringtone goes off. Trent is on the other end, "How's my sweet girl today? We need to talk. It's a weekday, mid morning you're probably somewhere they serve alcohol. I'll guess the pub."

Nicole snorts, "What the hell do you want from me?"

Stephanie and Max bicker for a change. Stephanie finally backs off, "I won't argue with you. I'll just remind you I love you and (say it with her) I'll be there for you." Stephanie wonders when Max will tell Caroline. Max isn't ready for that. Stephanie presses.

Caroline serves John his unique dish. John tells Marlena he thinks they need to talk about Phillip.

Meanwhile, Phillip cops one last feel, sighs and gets up as Chloe sleeps. He dresses and broods.

Chelsea tells Morgan she's going out with Daniel. "We're going to dinner and... afterwards... who knows?"

Morgan is shocked, "You wouldn't... you know... on a first date!"

"Daniel is a gentleman," says Chelsea, "But a girl can dream." She wonders why Morgan can't just be happy for her.

Max and Stephanie. ZZZAAAPPPPP...

Stephanie leaves for the gym. Caroline comes up and asks if there is something on Max' mind. "Nothing at all," insists Max.

"Good," says Caroline, "Everything is normal."

Trent watches as Stephanie leaves. He strolls up to Nicole, "I let you go once. I'm not gonna make that mistake again."

Nicole says, "Please don't do this."

John tells Marlena he knows Phillip is responsible for the drug bust. He says Phillip can't win.

Nicole says there is nothing to go back to. Trent doesn't think she really feels that way. He thinks she knows him a little more than he would like.

Caroline explodes. She wants to know what's with the dark cloud over Max head. "Oh, that," says Max, "I just had one of your breakfast burritos."

Morgan just doesn't want to see Chelsea get hurt. Chelsea asks, "Why is everybody so hung up on the age thing?"

Morgan says, "Dr. Jonas is old enough to be your..."

Chelsea interrupts, "Stop! In the name of love before you break my heart..." She asks if Morgan wouldn't go out with 45 year old Johnny Depp. That shuts Morgan up.

Stephanie joins them. They make fun of the fact that Stephanie wore lipstick to the gym, but Stephanie isn't up for it.

Kate tells Daniel to get out. Is it me, or have we already done that scene?

Outside, Lexie hears a ruckus in Kate's room and goes in to check it out.

Phillip dresses. Chloe asks, "No encore?"

Phillip asks, "Does breakfast in bed count."

"That depends," says Chloe, "Do you serve livers smothered in assorted fruit? "

Phillip gets a call. John says he needs to see him, "Brady pub. I'll be waiting."

Phillip hangs up and turns to Chloe, "Eighty-six breakfast in bed."

"No thanks," says Chloe, "One is plenty for me."

Daniel decides to leave before Lexie throws him out. Lexie asks if there is something Kate wants to tell her.

Nicole asks, "Who else knows your dirty little secret?" Trent says it's a student. Nicole makes assumptions, "Those women keep getting younger and younger."

Trent says, "It's a grad student who thinks he knows me. But he doesn't have a clue. He's threatened me."

"Sounds like my kind of guy," says Nicole.

Max says he just can't talk to Caroline right now. Nick walks up with a CD for Max. Caroline walks away.

Stephanie tells the girls she promised Max she wouldn't say anything. That's their cue to pry it all out of her. Stephanie says she can't get through to Max. Chelsea gets a call. She looks at the caller ID and sees it's Daniel. She vacillates about whether or not to answer it until it goes to voicemail. "Should I call him back," wonders the little twit. Stephanie grabs the phone and hits the callback button. Chelsea takes the phone as Daniel answers.

He tells her things are on for Chez Rouge 7:30. That works for Chelsea. Daniel asks, "Are you having second thoughts?"

"I'm hardly capable of a first thought," says Chelsea. She hangs up and tells the girls the date is on. Morgan doesn't think this is a good idea.

Phillip and Chloe arrive. John tells him their little dispute has gotten out of hand, "It's time for you to cut your losses, Phillip. Step down. Accept defeat." John gives him till the end of the day.

Phillip says he doesn't accept ultimatums, "You're the criminal, John. What world are you living in?" He hands Chloe a wad-o-cash for breakfast and heads for the gym.

John mumbles, "Phillip is a fool. He could have stayed here and had a mess o' livers smothered in assorted fruit."

Chelsea says she hasn't told Bo about Daniel, "I don't want the lecture about dating someone my own age."

"My dad would freak if I were dating someone that old," says Stephanie.

"Your dad freaks if the sun comes up in the morning," says Chelsea.

"I don't know what my dad would do," says Morgan.

"Probably bloat and float to the surface," says Chelsea.

Morgan tells the girls her dad left town, "But he will be back when he gets tangled up in some fishing net."

Max broods in his room, "I need your help more that ever, Ma." Nick joins him. He brings him a summer school brochure. Max tells him to forget it, "Big deal if I go to school. I could get my degree and write a book and treat people like garbage."

"You treat people like garbage without doing all that," says Nick.

"The only skill I need now is how to pout beer," says Max. Nick says when he first got to Salem Nick was the man. He wonders what happened. (Hmmm... maybe he kept pouting beer instead of pouring beer and his world fell apart.)

Phillip meets Daniel at the gym. "Your mother is a complete mystery to me," says Daniel, "Nothing more complicated than the female species."

Phillip asks, "So why do we need them besides the obvious?"

Daniel asks, "And when you find one... How do you know that’s the one?"

Phillip remembers kissing Morgan, "I've been wondering that myself."

Trent invites Nicole to dinner as the girls walk into the pub. If Stephanie's eyes were death rays Trent would now be a smoldering pile of ash on the sidewalk.

Inside, we have the least subtle product placement ad in the history of TV. Morgan gets cramps. Stephanie whips out her box of Midol and goes on and on about how it will relieve her cramps, her backache and cure all her ills.

Very softly, Pink Floyd sings Comfortably Numb in the background.

Morgan looks across the room, "OMG! There's Chloe! The harlot!"

Stephanie the oblivious space cadet continues to ramble on about Midol, "...And it will make your headache disappear."

"Too bad it won't make Chloe disappear," says Morgan.

Stephanie asks Caroline if Max talked to her. Caroline says no.

Kate asks, "You wouldn't do surgery on Abe, would you?"

"Not unless I really wanted to kill him," says Lexie, "But that's different. Daniel is just your friend."

"I'm still not comfortable with it," says Kate.

Theo and Abe run in. Theo runs over and silently greets Kate. Abe takes Theo back outside. Kate asks if Lexie is distracted. Lexie says they're taking Theo in for tests.

John and Marlena are back at the mansion. "We never finished our conversation about Ava," says Marlena, "You don't want to be the old John and I can't accept the new one."

John drones, "And the solution is...."

"I don't know," says Marlena, "but if we can't resolve it we should file for divorce."

Phillip suggests, "We should just move to Tibet and become monks. Meditate on that."

That thought lasts a nanosecond as a hot babe walks by. Daniel's eyes pop out and he says, "Meditate on that."

"You're handsome, and a doctor," says Phillip, "That's what girls want. Why do you think Treadmill Tina keeps walking by. You should go for her."

"She's not my type."

"Since when," asks Phillip.

"Since she grew up," says Daniel, "I have a crazy thing for a girl. There's a bit of an age difference. Phillip counsels him to go for it. "Let's hope I don't wipe out," says Daniel.

Max comes downstairs. Stephanie tells him she thinks he will hurt Caroline more by not telling her. She leaves and Max walks up to Caroline, "I need to talk to you about my biological father."

Lexie tells Kate Theo has been having trouble at day care. She and Abe just want answers. "So what are you waiting for," asks Kate, "Any bum on the street could diagnose this one."

Phillip asks Daniel if the girl he mentioned is Chelsea. Daniel says yes. Phillip thinks that's great, "The quicker we get her out of circulation, the better off all guys will be." Daniel thinks Kate will go through the roof when she finds out.

Max tells Caroline he found out who his biological father is. He says he didn't want to tell her because he thought she would be upset. They share a hug and Caroline thanks him for telling her, "But I'd like to know... what finally mellowed you out so that you were able to tell me this? "

"Stephanie gave me a Midol."

Chloe comes up to Morgan and offers a cup of coffee. Morgan isn't interested. Chloe tells her Phillip has a pattern, "He finds a girl and uses her to boost his ego. His involvement with you is a casual flirtation and you should stay away."

"You must feel really threatened," says Morgan, "And you should."

John asks, "You're giving me permission to see other women?"

"Yes," says Marlena, "It seems like the right thing to do."

"You come out of left field sometimes," says John.

Marlena says, "If you try things out and come back to me – that's fine. If not, we can end it."

"Why are you doing this," asks John, "What changed you?"

"I took a Midol."


Previews
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You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

20 Comments:

Anonymous Leslie said...

Daniel walks into her room and Kate does her best Chernobyl impression, "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

Ahhh…a melt down. With all the Botox and collagen, the hospital might have to call a HazMat team.

John suggests next time she can sleep over. Marlena, still pure as the driven snow after all these years, isn't ready for that.

She’s only into plane crash sex.

A gal in the audience stands up and screams, "GO FOR IT!"

I’m hoping the gal, who speaks for all of us, posts regularly on this blog. Maybe she’s one of many anonymous commenters.

Kate tells Daniel to get out. Is it me, or have we already done that scene?

On DOOL, everyday is Ground Hogs Day.

"I don't know what my dad would do," says Morgan.

"Probably bloat and float to the surface," says Chelsea.


After that one, I’ve come up with a great product idea for the makers of Baggies…keyboard shaped Baggies to be used while reading Prevuze. It could work.

Say it isn’t so!! Daze is really going down the Dr. Pervert/Chelsea path. At least, it won’t take so long to get through DOOL because I’ll be zapping all of their scenes. Who knew Midol worked for men and menopausal women? Once again, Prevuze provides a needed public service and a boost to the sale of Midol. I loved all the photos and captions especially Chelsea referring to her age in dog years. However, I think you should have included an apology to all the dogs you may have inadvertently insulted. Stupid show but a great Prevuze!!!

5:26 AM  
OpenID tripp3235 said...

Please tell me that Daniel and Kate slept together! Cause if they did, I'd so laugh laugh laugh. (And pray it's what ends Chan once and for all).

6:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't care much for Daniel & Chelsea, but I do feel a bit sorry for her if Dr. Dan slept with Kate. If that happens after Nick & Billie, I think Chelsea is going to start disliking all her female relatives!

6:48 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Okay, here's a wild thought -- maybe Daniel is Lucas' father! And now that Lucas is "out" of prison, she's trying to keep Daniel far away from herself, and hence, Lucas.

Or maybe Daniel is yet another long lost son of Kate's -- that would make him Chelsea's blood relation uncle, and they'd have to stop the romance (yea!).

6:55 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Prevuze! How interesting you mention Johnny Depp. Hollywood insiders say he's set to play in a movie adaptation of a CLASSIC SOAP!

Which one? Well the only soap that could rival DOOL for sheer insanity. I am speaking of course of
Dark Shadows!

Johnny is up to play Barnabas Collins. And I for one am really excited!!!!!

Okay back to reality..um I mean DOOL....well anyway...

If Midol can do all that, PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE LUCAS ONE! AND SAMI!
AND EJ! AND....you get the idea.

Yes Leslie I am afraid they are putting the brat and the rat together. Lovely. Just what Chelsea needs. Another man to screw up her life just a little bit more.
Someone hand that girl a copy of Smart Women Foolish Choices and FAST.

I'm not sure about Daniel being Lucas's father. That would mean 2 history re-writes for 1 character in a rather short period of time. Not unheard of for DOOL, but unlikely.
It would be far far more interesting if he turned out to be PHILLIP'S father!

7:20 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

The whole Midol thing: TMI! TMI! Besides, what gal Morgan's age doesn't already know about Midol. Like she would have to have super smart Stephanie to clue her in. Puhleeze!

I know it's a typo but so appropriate that all Max can do is pout beer.

EvilGenius, you did it again. And so did you, Prevuze. When I got to "Probably bloat and float to the surface" and "When he gets tangled up in some fishing net" I lost it completely. HAHAHAHA

Great Prevuze!

7:49 AM  
Anonymous Scolly said...

I can't see Daniel being Phillip's father. At the time Kate was desperately trying to hang onto Victor and keep him away from Vivian. Is he supposed to be old enough to be Lucas' father? I wouldn't think so but this is DOOL after all.

I got a kick out of EJ finding out he's not quite so hot after all. HA

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Carrie said...

Omg that was so hilarous to read I can't stop laughing! Thanks!

8:45 AM  
Anonymous rubberband said...

scolly, ej is so hot, nicole's just playing hard to get.

8:48 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Scolly said...
"I can't see Daniel being Phillip's father. At the time Kate was desperately trying to hang onto Victor and keep him away from Vivian."


Maybe that's the whole point -- as I recall, Philip was conceived in-vitro, right? Well, maybe ol' Vic's "boys" weren't up to the task, so Daniel, being Vic's godson and good family friend, just made a little "contribution" to help out...

8:48 AM  
Anonymous ramjam said...

She’s only into plane crash sex.
that explains it. Belle comes by it honestly. Someone almost dying ters Marlena horny.

8:51 AM  
Anonymous Applecheeks said...

Travel Tip For The Day: Be careful reading Prevuze in the airport terminal. I completely lost it when I got to Midol being the wonder drug that calmed Max down. Security guards started nervously eyeing me. I had to restrain myself from then on to only snorting subtlely through my nose. If you can call that subtle. LOLOL

Can't see the sidebar pics with my Blackberry, so I have that to look forward to when I get home.

A semi-HUH?! moment today: Stephanie will be there for Max. Good Lord, when has she even let him out of her sight for more than a few minutes of time lately!? HA

Thanks Prevuze!

9:02 AM  
Anonymous moposh said...

What's up with Kate???

10:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I laughed so hard when it came to the "I took a Midol" ect.

I suffered from severe PMS since my teenage years until the end of my menopause, and it was the only thing that kept me functioning as a human being.

I once remember a comedy bit that Bill Cosby did about Midol.
He said he was in San Francisco and had a horrible headache late at night and couldn't find an aspiring before he went on, then one of the female club workers gave him a Midol.

Afterwards, Mr. Cosby referred to it as a secert weapon for pain women have been keeping hidden from men.

GO,GO MIDOL! (LOL)

10:55 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Scolly said...

I can't see Daniel being Phillip's father. At the time Kate was desperately trying to hang onto Victor and keep him away from Vivian. Is he supposed to be old enough to be Lucas' father? I wouldn't think so but this is DOOL after all.

With SORAS anything is possible.

And speaking of SORAS, what about Nicole being Max's mother? Could that be the reason she's so scared of Robbins/Trent???

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prevuze- great job today! Loved all the Prevuizms.

I may be the only one in America, but I can't stand EJ and Nicole together! Seriously, have they recast Brady yet so Nicole can have a better victim to sink her teeth into and EJ can win Sami back? (And he should totally be able to do that with Lucas as his only competition for Sami's affections. What a loser!)

And I think Trent, aka Dean Robbins, may have been the male lead in Nicole's porn star days. That could be interesting... Max's mother may have been another "star" of the not-so-silver screen.

8:07 PM  
Anonymous loosenupmybuttons said...

Evil Genius kills me. I bet Showgirls is a lot better than John's downloaded memories.

9:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A couple of episodes ago, Max confronted Trent in the apartment and Steph showed up. At some point in the confusion, she said " Are you threatening me?" My husband and I both took the cue and at the same time we spoke aloud saying, " I have t.p. for my bunghole." We just couldn't resist. It was a classic leadin to a Beavis and Butthead line.

9:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know what I think would be a cool twist? If Dr. Dan was college buddies with Dr. Perv who hit on Chelsea a few months ago. Maybe he's just stringing her a long to screw with her and teach her a lesson?

Sorry, I'm just looking for some reason to get on board this Dr. Dan/Chelsea crap.

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know what I think would be a cool twist? If Dr. Dan was college buddies with Dr. Perv who hit on Chelsea a few months ago. Maybe he's just stringing her a long to screw with her and teach her a lesson?

Sorry, I'm just looking for some reason to get on board this Dr. Dan/Chelsea crap.

5:10 PM  

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