Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Big Kahuna

Phillip and Chloe sit at a table at Chez Rouge, make small talk and chuckle as Nicole comes in and wretches. Nicole joins them for some pre-dinner bickering. Victor is at the opera. Chloe fills Phillip in on the opera house Victor was going to build in memory of Isabella. Chloe thinks it would have been an amazing tribute. "Maybe," says Nicole, "But I don't think the deceased Izzy B would have appreciated his son's slut of a wife performing there, especially since you're two-timing with little brother."

Sami arrives at the mansion. EJ is headed for the gym. As he leaves, Sami bumps into Marlena, asks her to watch the twins and says she's going to the gym, too. She runs upstairs to get ready.

As Marlena walks into the study, John is on the phone with the security company talking about the disc caper. Marlena says she has put out some feelers herself. Daniel interrupts. John says, "I remember you. You were the Big Kahuna that saved Bo's life. I also know you were third in the Australian national surfing championships last year."

Daniel says he is there for advice. He throws a look at John, "It's personal."

Chelsea and Kate are at the pub. Chelsea wants advice, "Since we had our little talk, I've been thinking..."

"That was your first mistake," says Kate.

Chelsea stammers, "There was something that I wanted to, um... get your advice on."

Kate says, "OK..."

Chelsea asks, "How do I get a guy to realize he loves me?"

Ava wants to know what's going on. Angelo tells her Martino and the guys are "taking care of Patch."

Hope serves tea. She gets a call. Bo tells her Patch is in trouble at the pier. He also tells her to keep this from Kayla.

Patch wanders in and out of Creepo's gun sights.

Nicole rambles. She's glad Brady realized he was married to a has-been loser. Nicole is surprised at Phillip for jumping his nephew's ex's body last night. Phillip wonders when she became a member of the morality police since she's prone to mess around with anything in pants. Nicole says she has paid for that, "Victor doesn't forgive and forget. But I'm just trying to help you, Phillip." Phillip doesn't seem convinced. Nicole goes on, "I'm serious, Phillip. Despite what you think I really do care about you."

EJ works out. He offers help to the bimbo next to him just as Sami rushes in. Sami soaks it in and doesn't take it well. She stumbles around, knocks things over and winds up on the floor making a fool of herself.

Marlena asks John to take a hike. John says no. He needs to speak with her. Marlena insists. John leaves. Marlena turns to Dr. Dan, "You said you had a personal issue. What is that?"

"A problem an individual has which concerns his own life," says Daniel.

Kate gets it. She thinks Chelsea wants a relationship with Daniel. Chelsea tells her she and Nick broke up. She thinks Daniel doesn't want her.

Ava panics and makes a call, "It's me. I need to talk right now."

Phillip is skeptical. Nicole's phone barks with her new Pookie ringtone. She answers. EJ invites her to come down to the gym and run a few laps. Nicole accepts. She turns to Phillip and Chloe, "Sorry to leave the party, but Stepmama's gotta bounce." After she goes, Chloe tells Phillip, "Nicole is right. We can't even think about messing around." Phillip is already way-past thinking about it.

Kate can't imagine Daniel doesn't want Chelsea, "What's wrong?"

"His wife," says Chelsea. We sit there long enough for Kate to get the wrong idea and then Chelsea continues, "He's not married any more. He blames himself for her death."

Daniel tells Marlena about his wife. John eavesdrops and paces. Daniel says he is gun-shy about getting involved again, especially with a patient. Marlena thinks that's a good policy. Daniel says it's happening again, "It's insane. I'm hoping you can tell me how to fall out of love and move on."

"You've come to the right place for advice on moving on," says Marlena - Evans - Craig - Bradford - Brady - Black - North - Black , "I've been playing musical husbands for years."

Angelo tells Ava Martino has her best interests in mind. Angelo is tired of how Martino has been treating Ava. Ava says now that she's off the meds Daddy's days of controlling her are over.

Patch tosses stones into the river as the gunman continues to hold him in his sights. I guess instead of shooting him he's going to stare him to death.

EJ pumps iron. Sami jogs on a treadmill. Flamboyant Chris jogs next to her and effervesces. Nicole comes in and gooses EJ. Chris has a conniption over the hot chick that is flirting with EJ. He has a bigger conniption over EJ.

Chloe reminds Phillip she's still married and shouldn't get involved. Phillip tells her she has to let go.

Chelsea tells Kate the tale of Daniel's wife, "Because of her, he doesn't want to get involved with me. I need your help." Kate doesn't think Chelsea needs a relationship with Daniel. She thinks she should get as far away from him as possible. Then Kate can move in.

John listens as Marlena advises Daniel. She wonders what has him scared. Daniel wants a guarantee. Marlena says it doesn't work that way. She tells him to picture his wife and imagine she is there. Daniel struggles to get the vibe. "What would she tell you if she were here," asks Marlena.

"Nothing," says Daniel, "She's dead." If she could speak to him Daniel thinks she would tell him he has a lot to give and to allow himself to love someone.

Jumpy Patch wiggles like a freaked out third grader who forgot to take his Ritalin. Meanwhile, Bo steps up behind Creepo, sticks his pistol in his head and cocks it. El Creepo looks up at him. "Yep," says Bo, "That's the sound of a nine-mill." Hope moves in. Patch breathes a sigh of relief.

Kayla decides she can't just sit there. She gets up and, you guessed it, the cramps hit hard.

Chloe says letting Brady go isn't easy. Phillip asks, "Even if you have someone like me to distract you?" And think of the added bonus – you'd be upsetting my father. I promise – no strings. You gotta let it go."

Chloe goes into whine-mode, "It wouldn't be right."

"I don't see it that way," says Phillip, "Deep down, neither do you." He moves in for dessert.

Nicole goes over to taunt Sami. She tells Sami EJ invited her to the gym so they could work out together. Sami tells Nicole her new friend Chris invited her down there. Sami claims she doesn't have a problem with EJ and Nicole being there together. Translation: Big Problem.

Nicole goes off with EJ, "Instead of doing laps, let's work out a few kinks in the steam room."

Sami tells Chris she hates Nicole and asks him to go eavesdrop. Chris prances off.

Patch says, "Not that I mind being a target, but what took you guys so long?"

"We kept hoping he'd pull the trigger," says Bo. Bo reads Creepo his rights as Hope frisks him. She takes a little black book out of his hip pocket.

Daniel asks, "So you think I should go for it?"

"What do you think," asks Marlena.

"No shrink questions," says Daniel, "I was told you were way cooler than that."

"I'm cool enough that I don't use terms like 'way cooler,' " says Marlena, "Your problem is you don't know if you want to act on your feelings."

"She's given me the open door," says Daniel, "When I'm in the OR I know what I'm doing. But when it comes to my personal life I would rather surf."

"We all do," says Marlena, "Especially since there is no place to surf in Salem."

Daniel says that's how he dealt with his wife's death. Marlena says she thinks he knows what he wants and he wants her to tell him it's OK.

"Man," gasps Daniel, "You're good!"

"I watch Dr. Phil."

Kate tells Chelsea not to get involved with a man who can't commit. She says Chelsea will always take a back seat to his wife. Chelsea wants to know how Kate can be so full of advice when she's been running around with Martino Vitali.

"Martino is an old friend," says Kate. Her old friend just happens to walk into the pub at that moment. He walks over to Ava's table. Angelo leaves and joins the goon squad. Martino claims he's not going to do anything to Patch. Ava tells him whatever he's up to he should back off.

Patch wonders if Kayla suspects anything. Hope says no. Patch goes to be with Kayla. Hope and Bo walk off. Creepo stands alone and decides to go for a stroll down by the pier.

Kayla huffs, puffs and wretches. She must be daydreaming about Patch.

John listens. Marlena tells Daniel if he pursues this relationship to take it slow. Daniel thanks her. Marlena hands him her card. And her bill. John joins Marlena as Daniel leaves. She wants to know why he was eavesdropping.

Nicole locks the steam room door and heats things up even more.

Chris prances up and stands outside the door. He squeals with delight as he hears all the moaning.

Kate says, "Martino and I go a long way back."

"He's a total hood," says Chelsea, "You two were a thing."

"He means nothing to me now," says Kate, "But I have known enough men with issues that prevented them from being in a relationship to create a small army. She advises Chelsea to back off. What a coincidence – Daniel comes in.

Sami takes out her frustration on a punching bag. Chris toodles up and tells her about the moaning in the steam room, "I think they were getting it on. It sounded like he was really good. I'm sorry, honey." Sami's doomsday clock sets itself to one second to midnight.

Chloe breaks things off. Phillip thinks she came back to Salem because of him. She excuses herself. Phillip says, "Call me what you want but you can't deny what's between us." Chloe says she has lost her appetite and leaves. Phillip pulls out the disc and stares at it, "Suit yourself."

John says this is his house and he will do as he pleases. He wonders if she will make a habit of seeing patients there. Marlena says no, but she will if she has to. Marlena says she has Roman looking into the case of the disappearing disc. She says he's doing it as a friend not a policeman.

"He's a better friend than he is a policemen," says John, "But I don't want you involved."

"Like it or not," says Marlena, "We are in this together."

Kate repeats her advice about Daniel and leaves. Daniel slithers over and sits with Chelsea. He tells her he talked to a shrink tonight and still has no answers, "The concept of us isn't happening right now."

Chelsea tells him she had a talk with Kate who just thinks she would end up hurt if they got together. But Chelsea thinks Kate is wrong. She's not going to chase him though. She thinks they could have something great, "When you realize that, give me a call." Chelsea leaves.

Sami runs back to the steam room and blithers, "If he wants to be with Nicole, that isn't a problem."

Nicole and EJ turn up the steam in the steam room. EJ breaks things off, "It's tempting, but I am in love with Sami."

Who said anything about love," asks Nicole.

Ava tells Martino she knows for a fact he is planning on hurting Patch, "Call this off right now."

Bo busts in and breaks up their little party, "Martino Vitali, you are under arrest for two counts of murder and the attempted murder of Steve Johnson. Arrest him, Hope."

Kayla whimpers and struggles to get to the phone. She makes her call, "You'd better make that pizza a medium instead of a large."

By the way, didn't Marlena do a wonderful job of watching the twins for Sami?


Previews
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You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

18 Comments:

OpenID tripp3235 said...

Ok, so what's worse? Daniel going to Marlena for advice or actually calling her cool?

Love the image of unbelievable plot points.

5:43 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Daniel says he is gun-shy about getting involved again, especially with a patient. Marlena thinks that's a good policy.

Hey, Dr. Dude, listen to Marlena!!! We, faithful Prevuze readers, beg you to pay very close attention to her!!! If you don’t, there is going to be a stampede for barf bags.

"You've come to the right place for advice on moving on," says Marlena - Evans - Craig - Bradford - Brady - Black - North - Black , "I've been playing musical husbands for years."

OMG, Prevuze, that was just TOO funny!!! For those who are newbies to Prevuze, repeat after me…I will not drink or eat while reading Prevuze. As a reminder, I suggest you post the international sign for choking next to your PC. Unless you have stock in Dell, you don’t want to being messing up a lot of keyboards. As you can tell, I’m all about altruistic gestures.

Chris has a conniption over the hot chick that is flirting with EJ. He has a bigger conniption over EJ.

Can you blame him?

Kate doesn't think Chelsea needs a relationship with Daniel. She thinks she should get as far away from him as possible. Then Kate can move in.

Kate, you go girl!!!

Marlena says she has Roman looking into the case of the disappearing disc.

This is more than a little stupid. What could possibly be on that silly disc…John squinting, raising his eyebrow, and having monkey sex with Marlena? It’s just John’s past. His past was so boring that the writers in their infinite wisdom turned him into Jawn, and now he’s a lot of fun.

Boy, oh, boy, DOOL is getting a lot of mileage out of that steam room, and the viewers are getting a lot of gratuitous chest baring. Let’s hear it for gratuitous bare chests!!!

I loved Bulldog’s unbelievable plot points and Kate’s discussion with Chelsea on how to make guys realize they love you. Great Prevuze!!!

5:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, I don't get the censured link....who is Jamie Spears?

5:46 AM  
OpenID tripp3235 said...

Hey Leslie, hate to burst your bubble but if Kate is telling Chelsea NOT to go forward with Daniel and later Marlena says for Daniel to follow his heart with Chelsea...then I'm afraid we are forever doomed to watching McStatutory and the school girl get it on. Kate is always wrong and Marlena is always right.

6:20 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Anon - Jamie Lynn Spears is Brittany's little sister who's what, 15? and pregnant.

So the brat isn't going to chase Daniel. I wonder what she thinks following him fully clothed into a steam room was?

LOL over the Patch pic and the gunman staring him to death. HAHAHA

Too many great Prevuisms and pictures to list today. Thanks!

6:46 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Leslie...you crack me up!

Bulldog...love your pics!

Prevuze...I just love you !

7:01 AM  
Anonymous em said...

I had to stop right in the middle to thank you for, "I have a carseat."

LOL!

7:51 AM  
Anonymous tess said...

thank you for the morning laugh. I forgot to follow the cardinal rule and not be drinking while reading prevuze, LOL the censored link! Brilliant. Thanks for a giggle can't wait to see the gym scenes with sami and chris watching EJ. EJ pumps iron - I'll be drooling along with them.

8:01 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

"Maybe," says Nicole, "But I don't think the deceased Izzy B would have appreciated his son's slut of a wife performing there, especially since you're two-timing with little brother."

Shouldn't that be his GRAND-son's slut of a wife? or if you were referring to Isabella, it should be HER son's slut of a wife.

There are not enough words to express how badly I HATE DOOL for putting Chelsea and Dr. Feelgood together.
It's just wrong on so many levels.

And speaking of wrong, will the just put EJ and Sami together already??
Geez, I even wrote them a script, how hard could it be??

8:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't take Daniel's comment as calling Marlena cool. I took it as him saying he was TOLD she was cooler than to ask shrink questions. Well, hello, what kind of questions is a shrink supposed to ask then?

I usually follow the no drink/no food rule when reading Prevuze, but my throat is a bit scratchy today and I almost choked on the ice I was eating when I read tripp3235's comment:

"I'm afraid we are forever doomed to watching McStatutory and the school girl get it on."

Gosh, one of these guys I work with would have tried to perform some "unchoking" maneuver on me and they always say the first step is to "remove tight clothing" - which to them is ANY clothing! So glad I didn't choke!!! I would not have been able to read the rest of the comments then.

Leslie, you are so right about the barf bags!!!

9:00 AM  
Anonymous em said...

Is there a Prevuze Hall of Fame?

If so, this hilarious episode recap belongs there.

Can someone tell me how to record stuff? I've never even tried. I am sick that I will miss this one as I can't watch tomorrow. And EJ will be in a towel, I presume. Damn!

9:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't decide which has been funnier today-- the Prevuze comments, or the equally funny responses. Either way, I had my wonderful morning laugh and I'd like to thank all of you.

Dear Lesley, I learned the hard way about not drinking while reading Prevuze. It is SOOOOOOOOO hard to remove sticky orange juice from the keyboard and flat screen(LOL)

9:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow i really liked this prevuze it was awesome to read!! Daniel and chelsea both seeking advice. it great that chelsea knows wat she wants and is not afraid to go after it even wen pple tell her otherwise. I have hope Daniel will eventually stop running from his feelings. OOHHH and Ejami this is awesome!!!

10:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One comment: someone please explain Braxton-Hicks to Kayla.

12:06 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Shouldn't that be his GRAND-son's slut of a wife? or if you were referring to Isabella, it should be HER son's slut of a wife.

I thought the same thing, even replayed it and thought she said son. Maybe I didn't her Nicole say "her."

1:11 PM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

2:40 PM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Couldn't get to Prevuze until very late but, WOW it was worth waiting for. LOLOL

Leslie, loved your suggestion about posting the international sign for choking on your computer. However, as a public service, I think Prevuze should post that sign at the beginning of every report, just as a reminder. Even a long, LONG-time reader like me forgets every once in a while. Usually to my computer's detriment.

Great pictures and just a couple of my favorite Prevuisms (not already mentioned) were:

Marlena turns to Dr. Dan, "You said you had a personal issue. What is that?" "A problem an individual has which concerns his own life," says Daniel.

Patch goes to be with Kayla. Hope and Bo walk off. Creepo stands alone and decides to go for a stroll down by the pier.

My HUH? moment....That whole thing with Patch was a set-up in order to catch the hit man? Ho & Dope didn't even get on the scene until well after Patch was there! That was one inept hit man. What if the guy had taken Patch out the minute he had him in his sights and not dicked around for half an hour?? TLT

Great Prevuze!!

2:43 PM  
Anonymous Atina said...

I can't believe that I'm totally addicted to this site. I think you all do a great job, and you keep me laughing... It makes it so much easier to fast forward through most of the show since prevues lets me know what's gonna happen anyways! Thank you!

5:01 PM  

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