Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Secrets Are My Life

Nick and Chelsea argue with the mysterious Mr. Abuhd. The main thing they want to know is why some high and mighty potentate would hand his kids over to a low life prostitute and general con-woman like China Lee. And, let's face it, that's a good question. So how does DOOL explain it away?

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," says Mr. Abuhd. Lame

"Hey," says Chelsea, "That ranks right up there with Rolf's explanation of how he came back from the dead... 'It didn't take.'"

The clan gathers around Doug and Julie for the reading of the final letters. Julie explains they have to do this because OMB won't talk. John sharpens bamboo chutes, "Give me five minutes with him and I'll have him singing like a canary."

Julie reads, "My dearest Santo, I've spent days in prayer and solitude considering whether I should marry you or just keep frolicking in sin headed for the bowels of hell. The good Lord has answered my prayer."

Santo meets Father Mallory in the church. They both happen to be looking for Colleen. The Father has something he has to go take care of, leaving Santo alone. Colleen finds him and he asks where she has been.

"Oi've beenta the cliesters," she says, "I can'na keep livin' in both werlds."

"Then-a you are-a leeving me."

"Oi've lat my faith choose."

Sami ponders her dilemma. Andre lays out the ground rules. She can save two lives by killing either Lucas or EJ. "It's very simple," he says, "Take the gun... aim... and done!"

Now, why Sami doesn't choose to take the gun... aim... and blow Andre's brains into the next county can only be explained by the meds she is on, I guess... or, oh yeah, then they might not find Roman.

Sami cries, "Lucas?"

Andre says, "Ah! You've chosen door number one." He uncovers the bodies. Sami asks Lucas if he is OK. Lucas tells her to run.

"Act quickly, Samantha," says Andre, "Time is not Roman's friend."

Roman sucks. For air.

Nick claims the kids are with the sitter. Abuhd wants the apartment number. Nick suggests he go knock on every single door in the building. Abuhd tells him he's making a mistake and starts to leave but sashays around Nick and calls for the kids.

Colleen says, "It has always bean my dream to sarve the Lard dutifully." Santo tells her to stop and says it is better to end this.

A guy in the audience yells, "That's for damn sure!" The cops rush up to him and drag him out as he screams, "Don't tase me, bro! Don't tase me!"

So after all this fiddling around and hearing about her 'cliesters' and serving the 'Lard,' Colleen finally says, "My answer is yes."

Santo is as surprised as we are. Bipolar babes run in the family. Santo and Colleen giggle and dance around the room.

The Lard looks down on the scene and says, "Good riddance. And for your information, it's THE LORD! I'm not a can of Crisco!"

The crowd at the pub discusses Colleen's motives and what might have happened next. Finally some brainchild thinks of reading on to find out.

Lucas is at death's door and what he chooses to do is argue with Sami. Sami, of course, is a mess and begs Andre not to make her do it. Andre assures her Roman is alive and says he's going to kill him last so he will know Sami did not have the courage to save him.

Sami offers herself as a hostage.

The kids run out and Abuhd asks if they remember them. Nick jumps in and says no way is anyone taking them from him. Abuhd offers Nick money and Nick tells him to shove it.

Mr. Abuhd says, "Boys! We're leaving."

Nick says, "They're not for sale and they're not leaving. They're not going anywhere."

Abuhd cold cocks Nick. Chelsea screams, "Nick!"

Abuhd escapes with the kids. Nick lies bleeding on the floor, "We should have taken the money."

Andre considers Sami's offer. Lucas talks him into letting him have a private word with Sami. Lucas tells her she doesn't have to do this. He wants her to walk away and raise Roman Thomas and Colleen Marlena, "And give them enough love for both of us. And try to find some nicknames for them, too."

EJ finally chimes in and tells her to go. Sami can't. Andre reminds her Roman is out there stewing somewhere and the sooner she gets to it the sooner she will find him.

Roman gasps.

Marlena reads on. Santo thinks Colleen is making a great sacrifice.

Colleen prays. Pete and YOMB walk up to her. Da notices she has been crying. Colleen denies it. Father Mallory joins the party. Colleen says she called them all together there because she needs to speak to them. Santo shows up at the door and Da asks, "Whoy is the Eyetallian here?"

Colleen says she doesn't know and asks for a moment with him. The go out into the narthex and argue. It seems Santo has shown up a bit early. He wants to break the news together. Colleen doesn't want a donnybrook. He asks her to take a gift as a reminder of their life together. It's a diamond ring.

Meanwhile, at the mouth of the Mediterranean Sea, the Portuguese coast guard calls in a bulletin: It seems the Rock of Gibraltar is missing.

Sami turns the gun on Andre, "Go ahead," he says, "You have one shot."

"DO IT," screams Lucas. Andre reminds her if she kills him, she will never find Roman.

Andre tells her to make her choice, "Which will it be? The ever-loyal and talkative Lucas, or Elvis, the virus that's infected your soul? Which man do you truly love?"

EJ offers his life, "You have children. I am alone. Don't think. Pull the trigger." Sami has no problem with the part about not thinking, anyway."

Sami slowly aims the gun at EJ.


Lucas screams and writhes in pain. "SAMI! YOU SHOT ME IN THE LEG!"

"You should have aimed a little higher," says EJ.

In the confusion, Sami picks up a steel bar and whacks Andre. She then proceeds to kick the living poop out of him. Lucas and EJ beg for her to untie them before she turns Andre in to dough for the SPD's morning donut delivery.

Lucas isn't being a big boy about his wound. He screams, "I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SHOOT EJ!" Sami unties them and makes a tourniquet for Lucas. EJ doesn't have a signal on his phone so he has to run out to call 911.

Lucas cries like a little girl and asks Sami if she was really going to shoot EJ. Sami says, "Yes, but I knew I couldn't kill him because I need him more than I need you."

Hope reads on. Colleen was amazed by the ring, but love is pure and simple from the heart.

Colleen drives a forklift into the room, lifts the ring and gives it back to Santo, "A simple band would do." Santo says he has two bands for them but this is an engagement gift. She thinks it's too extravagant, but he begs her to accept it. Pete comes out and interrupts. He wants to know what is going on. Santo says he was just leaving. "Then be quek abutit," says Pete. Santo walks out of the church.

Suddenly Jeremy rushes out of the next room and wrestles Mr. Abuhd to the floor. He puts a gun to his temple and asks who wants the boys. Mr. Kravitz bangs on the wall and wants to know what all the racket is about. Nick tells Jeremy to put down the gun, "You're already facing charges. Don't add murder to the list."

Slowly, Jeremy hands Nick the gun, but keeps Abuhd in a chokehold. Kravitz pounds at the door. Nick answers and tells him things are OK. "I'm callin' the cops," says the Danny DiVito clone. Abuhd gets away from Jeremy and runs off. Nick goes back inside and takes the kids to read comics.

Chelsea asks, "What are you, Jeremy, some kind of avenger?"

"I don't like people messin' with kinds."

"Yeah," says Chelsea, "I got that. Could you have shot him?"

Annie Oakley tends to Lucas as he grills her about why she needs EJ. She says she needs him for the twins and Lucas and their family.

EJ comes back in and says the cops are on the way. Andre bolts and EJ chases. Lucas grits his teeth.

Roman gasps and pounds at his coffin.

Chelsea repeats, "I want to know. Would you have shot him?"

"He thought I would," says Jeremy. Nick comes out and says the kids are OK, but they should call Dr. Evans.

Jeremy decides it's time to leave. Chelsea says she isn't going to turn him in. "I don't believe you," says Jeremy, "Not a word."

Sami tells Lucas Bo found the folio and ending the vendetta involves her and EJ. EJ comes back in. It seems the young athlete couldn't outrun the wounded old guy. Sami tells him she wants to talk to Lucas alone. EJ leaves. Lucas asks Sami if she still loves him and wants to be with him, "If Bo knows what is going on don't you think I have a right to know too?" Sami hyperventilates.

The crowd at the pub runs through idle speculation about what might have happened next. Hope has a brilliant idea, "Maybe we should read the letters to find out."

Father Mallory chastises Colleen for not wearing her habit. Colleen says, "I'll not be wearin' it again, Fodder. Doya remember, Da, after my forst communion, when I vowed my life would be with the choorch? I was a garl of seven. Fodder Mallory, you taught me there is a life of laber aside from the holy vocations, and they're both a way of servin' God. I have found that my true vocation is as a wife and mudder. And I'll be lavin' the convent." Pete drops his jaw. Pan in on YOMB.

Nick and Chelsea talk Jeremy into just taking a powder while the cops are there, and then coming back in case Abuhd returns. Jeremy tells Nick to trash the letter he gave him to deliver to Stephanie. He doesn't want them to tell Stephanie he was back in Salem. He thinks it's better if she forgets him and just moves on.

"Secrets are my life," says Chelsea.

Jeremy leaves. Nick's macho side... uh molecule... comes out, "I totally could have taken that guy. It's good Jeremy was here as backup, though."

"It was a sucker punch," says Chelsea. She's proud of him. She kisses him on the cheek.

Nick goes in for more, but Chelsea turns away. "Can't blame a guy for trying," he says.

Sami promises Lucas she will not do anything stupid and will tell him everything when she gets to the hospital. One out of two ain't bad. The paramedics wheel him off.

Sami says, "We have to get to Stefano, EJ, to end the vendetta. It's in the folio. It is all up to us. It has been since the day we were born."

Pete thinks this is the work of the devil. Colleen insists she has lost her love for the work of the order but not the church. Pete goes right off a cliff... uh, perhaps a poor choice of words... Pete freaks. YOMB watches as the argument goes out of control.

Hope reads. Colleen knew nothing they said would change what was in her heart, "There was no end to their tirade. So I ended it the only way I knew how."

Colleen tells them she loves Santo. She stoops to say something to YOMB but Da interrupts, "You're no sister to him, and no daughter to me." YOMB begs her not to go. Colleen says she will never forget him. Father Mallory asks what will become of Colleen's work with the poor. She takes out her ring, hands it to him and leaves.

"Well," says Father Mallory, "That worked out well in the end, didn't it?"

Outside, Colleen bawls her eyes out.

The crowd in the pub speculates about why Colleen and Santo didn't go through with the ceremony. John thinks the Bradys started the vendetta. Marlena says it doesn't matter who started it, they have to stop it.

Roman struggles for air. He hears something. The coffin lid opens and he sees a light.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.


Blogger Deb said...

Now that we already know what's going to eventually happen, let's think about this a minute;

Why would Santo ask Colleen to marry him if his wife were still alive?

And why wouldn't YOMB just tell Coleen that Steffy was the one who told him?

And why would Colleen just believe the ravings of a, (what, 9 or 10 yr old?) kid and kill herself before finding out the truth?

Yes, I know I am interjecting the L word into a show that wouldn't know logic if it bit them in the "arse", but you have to wonder if this scenereo was really the best the writers could come up with.

And EJ marrying Sami will end the vendetta?
Don't the words "Sami Brady Wedding Disaster" mean anything to the Dimeras????

DOOLism of the day:
"If Bo knows what is going on don't you think I have a right to know too?"
Umm Sami? What gives you the idea that Bo knows what's going on now? Since when does he EVER know what's going on?

These Are The Daze Of Our Lives

5:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Father Mallory asks what will become of Colleen's work with the poor. She takes out her ring, hands it to him and leaves.

"Well," says Father Mallory, "That worked out well in the end, didn't it?"

Prevuze, This is great!! ROFL

5:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prevuze, today is one of your best yet. Between the Chelsea/Stephanie sorority picture and your witty repartee of all things Days, I was laughing out loud!

Great stuff!
Thanks for the early morning giggle!

6:47 AM  
Anonymous mayfield said...

I am so glad I read Prevuze this morning. I'll be chuckling all day thinking of the pictures and comments.

Chelsea's sorority choice!! The can of Crisco. Steph's separated at birth (I've been waiting for that one). Your wit cracks me up!

I agree with what Deb's saying. There'd better be a bigger payoff than Colleen throwing herself off a cliff because of a 9 year old's misunderstanding. I won't be holding my breath tho.

6:51 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:06 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

It finally happened. I snorted liquid through my nose trying to suppress a guffaw at the "Biggest Loser" photo. By the time I got to Roman sucks. For air. I didn't even try to hold it in. My co-workers will just have to think I've finally gone and snapped. LOLOL

I agree with Anonymous, this had to be one of the best Prevuze ever. However, it's getting to the point I could use closed captions on the Irish accents. HAHAHA

I got my SOD last night. We all know what is supposed to happen, but I have to warn everyone to brace themselves. A typical DOOLism is coming.....SOD reports that DA and the Father and YOMB go to the cliffs and find Colleen's HABIT!

Know what that means, don't cha'? No body. Perhaps Colleen didn't die and Deb has been right along. Colleen could be any old gal and the 20 years of the v-word have been for nothing.

Sami will divorce Lucas, marry EJ, be miserable for a year and then everyone will somehow figure out Colleen isn't dead. After another year of dragging things out, Colleen (whoever it turns out to be) will be found and Sami will be able to get back with Lucas. Maybe.

How's that for a long-term prediction?

Again, great Prevuze! Thanks.

7:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Lard looks down on the scene and says, "Good riddance. And for your information, it's THE LORD! I'm not a can of Crisco!"


7:18 AM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...

Oh my God, another day without a satisfactory conclusion. Ugh!!

7:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A guy in the audience yells, "That's for damn sure!" The cops rush up to him and drag him out as he screams, "Don't tase me, bro! Don't tase me!"

LOLOLOL! It's a good thing I didn't have any liquid in my mouth at the time. Prevuze, you're the greatest!

8:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok here it is---Ej and Sami marry, have problems as earlier deceded, then find out that Colleen is alive and its KATE!!!! thats why she hates sami so much and since Kate is now a Brady and Lucas is a brady that makes Sami and Lucas relatives so they cant be together so Ej is happy-----oh wait that marring family thing never stopped DOOL before..........

8:40 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

I have to agree with everyone above, this was a stellar Prevuze. And I, too, gave up trying to stifle my laughing, it was just too hard. The accents had me going and then when I got to "Don't taser me" that was it! I just never learn not to be drinking coffee while reading Prevuze.

I like (was it Deb's?) theory that Colleen is actually Alice. Someone mentioned that the other day. She'd be more the age than Kate. Of course the fact in the last 40 years of DOOL they never ever mentioned Alice having amnesia wouldn't stop the writers from changing history. Nah.

Fantastic Prevuze today, you always amaze us. :D

8:48 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Alice Horton's history:
Alice is the daughter of Sid and Abigail Grayson. She grew up in Salem, the daughter of a poor carpenter, and married her high-school sweetheart, Tom Horton, in a small civil wedding in city hall.
Alice has always been EXTREMELY religious.
In 1977, Alice herself would be the one in need of that support when she was diagnosed with cancer by Dr. Walter Griffin. During this ordeal, Alice's faith in God wavered as she wondered why something like that could happen to her, something utterly shocking to Tom and the rest of the family because Alice had always been a devoted believer. Despite her doubts, Alice ultimately put her life in the hands of God, and her prayers were answered when Bill discovered a misdiagnosis. Walter Griffin, influenced by the tragic memory of his wife's cancer-induced death, had been hasty in his diagnosis of Alice. Later that year, Alice's faith would be tested once again. This time, it was Tom who suffered, as he suffered a heart attack. As he recovered, Alice prayed to God that he would come out of it fine. While this time her faith in God was strong, Alice was tested when her daughter Marie, now a Catholic nun, returned to take care of Tom. Alice actually felt jealous of her own daughter for all the attention she gave him. Yet, Alice came to terms with this feeling and overcame it.

Now since we really aren't sure how old Colleen is, she could very well have escaped to the US and gone to high school.

Alice has also always been very dedicated to the church and helping others.

Now if we take out the amnesia part, it would mean she has been hiding her entire life.

AND, if she IS Colleen that would mean that Sami and Lucas are 2nd cousins. Yet another reason she would need to divorce Lucas.

Put it all together and you get a completely believeable theory that Alice is in fact Colleen!!

Here is Alice circa 1965:
Alice Horton

These Are The Daze Of Our Lives

9:47 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Great Prevuze, as usual! Let's hope we get some kind of answer about the V-Word soon!

Just a thought, there's no reason why second cousins shouldn't or can't marry. It's been shown that even if first cousins marry there is little risk of genetic problems. Though as Americans, the thought is distasteful.

10:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok. Lucas and Sami neither one have a job. My guess is that Will is somewhere out there making money for the family cause Sami and Lucas are banking up some HUGE hospital bills. Which brings me to a question for the writers...stay with me on this guys. Why is it that Sami and EJ spent so much time in the hospital after being dehydrated from a steamroom and Jett is in and out of the hospital in a day or two from a gunshot wound to the lung where he lost enough blood to cause him to go into shock? See, Jett was hurt on the job...or what was left of it at the time. So, Workers Comp will pay his bill. I know I'm thinking too logically. But, I just love to drag this out. Maybe I should work for the DOOL writers. Sami and Lucas have no insurance or jobs and they get to stay longer than Jett? I think more than the violation of HIPPA laws need to be investigated at the ole Salem Hospital. anon1

10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get this folks, my life is turning into a DOOL storyline. My love of my life who I left everyone I know and my home and job for across country and I've been with him five years and devoted to him for life, has decided he wants to dump me and go back to his ex who is still married and living in another state just because she found out he has a good woman with him now and is doing well for himself. Now, she wants him back. He's falling for it and is willing to dump me the devoted "right arm." They email back and forth but the things they talk about are just immature cutesy things about when they were dating in college. He is so into this, he is willing to destroy a five year trusting, devoted relationship for a woman that kicked him out once, got back with him, kicked him out again, remarried a month after their divorce, drug him through the mud for 11 yrs is still presently married and now after all this time...wants him back. CALL THE DOOL WRITERS!!! We may have a new storyline here. I feel like Shawn, Lucas, Colleen, heck, I feel like just about anyone on the show that's been dumped when I shouldn't have been. I'm a walking soap opera. Maybe I'll win a daytime emmy. See. Now, I have to prepare to move back across country to a different area as I can't tell my family and friends about our breakup cause they'll say " I told you so." So, my pride is too strong and I have to start off new and never speak to my family again and worse, never speak to the man I love and consider my best friend again cause his girlfriend/exwife is very jealous. Man, this is good stuff......unless you're really living it.

10:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear what you are going thu. Your great sense of humor and a dose of Prevuze a day will help you thru this. I wish you the best.

10:38 AM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...


Sorry. Go to Deb's blog and write a really bitchin' storyline for the rest of us to add on to.

11:53 AM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...


Sorry. Go to Deb's blog and write a really bitchin' storyline for the rest of us to add on to.

11:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Day's writers sure know how to ddrraagg out a storyline, don't they? For a while now the whold Colleen/Santo stroyline was on hold... now it's up and running again. I love ow everyone in Salem is able to just sit around in the pub and listen to a bunch of hand written letters, (they could be forged), and sit and contemplate what happens next? Is this a diary? So we are believe that Colleen WROTE everything she was feeling and said? Can you say HOKEY????
Here are few questions, to ponder:

Hello, Shawn, Belle and Phillip... Where's Claire? Helllooo???? How's college life going Belle?
You too - Stef & Chelsea? How can anyone afford to anything? No one works (except for the Police Department) - and not very well for that matter...?
And why do these people have kids and then spend NO time with them? Will? Ciara? Claire? The Dept. of Child Services should be very busy in Salem!
And finally, anyone who has ever been pregnant - just for a moment, put yourself in Sami's shoes... (with twins) Go ahead, do you think you'd be able to do 1/2 of what she has done, pregnant? (my feet swell up just watching her!) You can definately tell the writers are male!

Done ranting, again!

12:17 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

Anon with the DOOL life: Sorry you are going through all this ridiculousness. Please tell me you will not be like DrOOL and drag out your storyline for months. Kick the loser to the curb, you deserve better!

1:06 PM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

YOMB, the good father, and Da find Colleen’s habit but no Colleen. This is a mission for Bo and Kayla. If they can find Stephanie in a cave in the middle of no where, finding Colleen should be a piece of cake. While they’re at it, maybe they can locate Jimmy Hoffa.

2:07 PM  
Anonymous em said...

Anon, sorry that your SO has himself a Sami. And hey, you made it five years. Go home to the support of your family and friends!

Surely Colleen is alive, but as Alice Horton, you think? And all these years, OMB never recognized her as his sister? I don't know. I've never heard her refer to God as her Lard (aside note: best prevusim!), and there are no traces of an accent.

But indeed, stranger things have happened.

3:13 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Em, I am not sure if you read my theory on OMB not "outing" Alice/Colleen.

She got ammesia when she "fell" off the cliff. When she came to she was taken to the US where she lost her accent.


She trained herself to not have an accent and is hiding from the world.
OMB knows who she is. And Alice knows who OMB is. But they aren't saying anything to anyone because by the time OMB found her she was already married to Tom and it would do no good to disclose her past.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the advice and support on my DOOL storyline life events. I'd love to go home to my family support. But, they won't support me. They are huge " I told you so" people and I'd be miserable. I am too proud to go home. I'll have to move to a whole new town and start a whole new life.....soon as I can save up enough money to move. But, thanks for all the support. It means a lot to me.

5:21 PM  
Anonymous moposh said...


Please tell me those aren't what they're going to name the kids.

Colleen finds out Santos is married and flings herself off a cliff. Unfortunately, she wasn't wearing her nun's habit so she doesn't fly.

The folio says the vendetta will end when a DiMera and Brady marry.

12:53 PM  

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