Thursday, August 02, 2007

Shish-Ka-Bart

The Brady clan is gathering at the pub. Sami is amazingly calm after her near murder spree, so apparently the drugs have kicked in. She speculates about the possibility that OMB killed Colleen. "Pop still isn't talking," says Bo.

"That's because they don't have his cue cards ready," says Hope.

It doesn't matter, though, because Doug, Julie, Marlena, John and half of Salem arrive as Doug announces they have a special delivery – the next installment in the Santo-Colleen yarn. Julie holds the envelope containing the juicy tidbits high in the air as they all rush in.

Doug says there are many more still to come, "In other words, they'll drag this out until February sweeps." John asks about Andre. Bo says there is no news but John assures him he will be found. Bo thinks 50 years is too long for a grudge. They talk about Roman. Doug says Roman is too tough for a knife bring him down.

Roman lies near death in his hospital bed, "Coulda fooled me."

Stefano sighs as Rolf comes in. Ralph wants to give him drugs so he won't suffer. Stefano says he won't live in a fog of drugs. He'd rather live in a fog without them. Rolf warns him his pain will continue. Stefano says he needs rest and Rolf leaves. Stefano looks over at the hypo.

Tony watches through the curtains and contemplates Stefano contemplating the needle.

EJ sits in the gutter at the pier. He takes a big swig of JB and spits. "Act like a man," he mocks. He flashes back to his argument with Stefano. Another drink. "Get rid of Lucas," he mutters, "Why not?"

We pause for the standing ovation.

Stefano dozes. Tony starts to come in but hears conversation and scoots back behind the drape. Bart limps in with Rolf. Rolf tells Bart to watch Stefano and call him if he's in pain. Bart picks up the needle and thinks this could kill the pain in his foot. Tony swishes in and gets Bart in a chokehold. He takes the morphine and jams it into Stefano. Stefano thinks he's Andre. Tony tells him to relax so he can search for the key. He rips his shirt open and there it is. Stefano looks up at Tony. The drugs are kicking in. He slurs, "If you do this, I will destroy you with my own hands. I swear to God."

"Don't be silly old man," says Tony, "God and I stopped listening to you a long time ago." He rips the key off. "Finally!"

EJ swills booze. Lucas arrives. He says, "OK, EJ, I got your message. You wanted to see me? It's a matter of life or death?"

"It's life or death all right," says EJ, "Your life and marriage to Samantha are over." Lucas tells EJ Sami said she wishes she had set him on fire when she had the chance and let him burn in his own personal fiery pit of hell. "Really," says EJ as he pulls a gun from his jacket.

BANG!

EJ throws booze on Lucas' cold, dead body, "What's that about a fiery pit, sunshine?" He saves some for himself and takes a drink.

Back to reality. "Kill Lucas, yeah," says EJ, "Samantha's mine – my wife." Swill.

EJ rants about Lucas and drinks. He imagines Sami sobbing over Lucas' dead body. He comforts her, "At least he finally shut up. But I swear we will find who did this, and I will be with you and help you raise the babies. I would do anything for you, Samantha." Sami moves in. Hot kiss.

Back to reality. EJ pines for Sami. Kate finds him and asks if he is all right. He straightens up and claims he's good.

The family sits down as Julie reads, "To meet you on the shore and not in my habit was wrong of me. I was testing myself, praying the Lord would give me the strength to resist temptation. But I had to see you again. The look in your eye had an answer for everything."

Santo meets Colleen. She prays, "Dear God, give me strenth."

Stefano paws at the key. Tony dangles it in front of him. Stefano makes one last grand grab and snatches it. He gives it to Bart. Tony grabs a sword off the wall and demands Bart hand it over. Bart orders him to stand back. "Give it to me now, Bart," says Tony, "One... two... three..." Bart eats the key. Tony screams.

Kate reminds EJ they were supposed to have a meeting to save Myth-Ick. "Easy come easy go," slurs EJ.

SLAP!, " Snap out of it!"

Cher walks up, "That's not the way it's done. Let me show you. You have to scream louder, SLAP!, "SNAP OUT OF IT!"

Kate tells EJ to be a man. He grabs her, "What does that mean? I say treat a whore like a whore."

Kate screams, "Let go of me!" They struggle.

Colleen says she was praying for the strength to leave before Santo came. She accuses him of making indecent advances. He has a wife and son.

"Details, details," says Santo, "But, my wife she a-died three days ago, drat the bad luck. She a-died after years of a-pain, after all, she lived with me. It was a-horrible. Excruciating. Like a DOOL viewer watching flashbacks. His only wish is that he could have gotten Stefano back in time to say goodbye. Colleen wonders how God could take someone like that instead of her. Santo says if he lost her he could not live.

"Aren't yer goin' back fer the funeral," asks Colleen.

"Nah," says Santo, "She won't-a even miss-a me."


He caresses her but she says it's not right. She prays for forgiveness. Santo says she has done nothing wrong. "I've given me life to the chorch," says Colleen, "I want me faith. I can live without passion. It passes."

"Kiss a-me one last time," says Santo, "Once last kiss will prove it."

"It will prove noothin'."

"Come on," he begs, "One for the road." He tells her she is afraid..

"I'm afeereda noothin'," she says.

He says if she kisses him and feels nothing he will walk away, "Neither you nor the Lord a-counted on-a me." Kiss.

Hope reads Colleen's description of the kiss, "I knew once I kissed you, you'd have no choice but to go."

Colleen pants like a dog after a run on a hot day. Santo tells her she has to make a decision and asks if she is going back to the church or stay with him.

She half goes into a trance, "Stay... here..."

"With me," says Santo, "Under the stars... in my arms.

EJ rages, "I am a man!" Kate apologizes. He lets her go. EJ rants. He says neither she nor Stefano had a right to hit him. He tells her to start her own business. She says she can't do that after the bankruptcy. She reminds him they might go to prison. EJ says that's all because of Lucas, "I'll be around to pick up the pieces when he is dead."

"What are you planning now," asks Kate.

Tony says, "Please, Bart, tell me that key is hidden somewhere in your cheek." Bart moons him. "The other cheek," screams Tony.

Bart opens his mouth, "Ahhhhhhhhhh..."

It looks like I have to use the sword," sighs Tony.

Andre says, "What? Skewer an unarmed man? That's hardly fair. It is you who will be shish kabob!" He tells Bart to get out of the way.

"You don't have to ask me twice," says Bart, as he moves behind the couch.

Tony says, "There is something you have that I would like to have that's in your possession."

Andre asks, "What is that?"

Tony says, "My life."

En garde!

Swords flash. Insults fly. Confusion reigns. Bart gets caught up in the mess. Andre jabs and his sword skewers Bart.

Bart reels back. Blood everywhere, "Andre... Why?"

"Just hold on, damn you," says Andre as he pulls the sword out.

Bart turns, falls and looks up at Stefano, "Boss..."

EJ claims he isn't drunk. He says his threat was a figure of speech. Kate thinks it was a drunken slip. He tells her to let it go, "I should have thrown you in the river when I had a chance."

Kate says he can't believe Sami would consider being with him.

Santo says, "Tell me how you feel."

"I will pray for you and Stefano," says Colleen, "Sorry to dissapoincha but the truth is, I felt noothin'." He asks her to wait for the delayed reaction. He holds her wrap out for her to come and get. She stares and then tells him to toss it to her.

"If I toss it," says Santo, "you will lose it to the wind and sea."

She tries to snatch it, "Santo just.."

"Now you call me by my first name."

She composes herself, "Mr. DiMera, I took yer challenge and proved yer not as irresistible as ya believe. Please live up to yer werd."

"I'm-a wounded," says Santo, "When a woman she rejects a man..."

"I think ya should be less casual about opening up yer heart," says Colleen.

Santo says nothing he does is casual. He doesn't do this with other women. She points out he was with her when his wife was dying. He assures her he doesn't chase other women, but he did not know love with his wife, "Now after my lengthy three-day mourning period, I am free to pursue what makes me happy. And that is you." She asks again for her wrap and moves toward him. Suddenly she:

a) remembers the pot roast she left in the oven
b) is attacked by a swarm of killer bees
c) slips and falls passionately into his arms

Please tell me you don't need me to give you the answer.

Andre cheeks out Bart. Bart asks him to call Rolf. Andre apologizes. Stefano watches in a stupor, "Get the key. The key."

Andre asks, "Are you talking bout THE key?"

Stefano says he gave it to Bart and then notices Bart bleeding on the floor, "Oh, no. Who did this? Tony?"

Tony chimes in, "No. Somebody who looks like me."

Stefano can't believe it, "It was you, Andre?"

"It was an accident."

Bart calls out. Tony leaves. Andre follows and watches him go. Stefano and Andre tend to Bart. Stefano begs, "Say something."

"Tony must have the key," says Andre.

"Impossible," says Stefano. He calls for Rolf. Rolf checks Bart out. Stefano wants him to call an ambulance, but Rolf says it's too late. Stefano asks where the key is.

Bart gasps for air, "I took care of it, boss. I always take care of you." He exhales and collapses as he lies in Stefano's arms.

"You can't do this to me," screams Stefano.

Andre comes back, "I lost him."

Stefano tells him he is and idiot for letting Tony get the key. Andre says Tony doesn't have the key. He thinks Bart does. Stefano searches Bart's pockets and tells Andre to search. He looks down at Bart's body, "Oh, Bart, dear Bart!"

EJ remembers Kate telling him Sami wouldn't ever want him, "You have no idea." He imagines being in bed with Sami. Sami says she hopes it's always like this. EJ asks, "Do you miss Lucas?"

"Who?"

They giggle and he asks for her forgiveness. "I forgive you, dearest, and I know you will be a wonderful father," she says she has never been this happy. They attack each other.

Back to reality. EJ asks, "What am I waiting for? It'll make us both happy. No more wasting time. Lucas' life ends today, and mine begins!"

The crowd at the pub mulls. Sami is distant. Marlena asks what's wrong. Sami says the more they read about Colleen the more she feels for her. Hope butts in. Sami says it seems like Colleen had her life ahead of her and it fell apart. Marlena thinks it might have come together in a new and surprising way. Sami thinks women are lead by their hearts, good or bad.

Julie reads, "I can't remember if I left the scarf or if you kept it back..."

Colleen and Santo embrace. Colleen begs for him to let her go. Santo says she chose to stay. She grabs the scarf. He stops her and kisses her.

Colleen erupts, "Yer an egotistical libertine!" She yanks again and Santo loses his balance. He falls over the cliff and hangs there, right next to Alex North. She huffs, puffs and drags him back up. She apologizes. He says it wasn't her fault. He was teasing her. He should have respected her decision, "Now walk away. You saved my a-lifea. I shoulda respect you wishes. Go. Don't look back. GO!" FF Colleen.

Previews
========

Patch asks, "Are you taking a trip or something? What are you doing?" Stephanie says, "No, Papa. I'm moving out." Kayla looks on.

Sami asks, "You know what sealed her fate? Lust. I think Colleen was done in by lust." Lucas smiles.

Stefano plants one on Kate. She says, "That doesn't seem like the kiss of a dying man." Stefano says, "I was hoping you would notice."

Bo points a gun and says, "Start talking before I put a bullet in your head." Tony says, "It's Tony." Bo says, "Well, convince me before I pull this trigger."

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

RIP Bart.

Elvis, you're anything but a man.

4:49 AM  
Blogger Kiki said...

I can not believe they finally killed off Bart, he's always been one of those that came back to annoy us for a bit then leaves. You have to admit he was funny sometimes with his stupid ways. LOL. RIP Bart.....

Soapnights.com

5:00 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Today fellow Prevuze fans, let's all have a piece of pie, and raise our forks high.....TO BART!

5:09 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

"Shish-Ka-Bart", nooooooo. I loved Bart. Of course, if Dr. Rolf could be hauled around as a dead guy for several days by Rex & Mimi and still come back, Bart has a great chance.

Enjoyed the morning Salem Sleazebucket. Been missing that.

The Santo/Colleen Prevuisms had me cracking up as did: "Pop still isn't talking," says Bo.

"That's because they don't have his cue cards ready," says Hope.


And:

Bart moons him. "The other cheek," screams Tony.

That apparently got Prevuze on a roll. I noted this Freudian slip of the typing fingers later on:

Andre cheeks out Bart.

Laughing through my tears, bye Bart.

6:45 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Awww, I so didn't want Bart to go! He was hilarious. RIP Bart, see you in a couple of years when you (or your identical twin,or cousin or whoever) shows up in Salem.

6:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

RIP Bart... Did he swallow the key? Maybe while they are performing CPR the key will 'magically' appear in his mouth? (YUCK!!!)
Ohhhh Noooo, not more Collen and Santo.... I can't stand the accents! Yoyyyy the Chorch! LOL!

Ok, what are they gonna do with EJ? This could be the 'turning' point we all have waited to see. Will he falter back to the 'dark side' or come out of this 'as a man'?
And Kate, could it possibly be the beginning of a REAL storyline with her? YAYYY! Salem needs a real diabolical woman villain, one that's trying to do more than just break up her son's marriage! C'mon Katie - how about going after EJ for a change? And what a great pair - Stefano and Kate.... Anyone would be 'doomed' to have these two against them!
And as far as Lucas? - Who cares?!? Does anyone really even like Lucas anymore? He's kinda like the husband of your family member, at the picnic, you try to ignore! LOL!

Thanks Prevuze! Great job as usual!

7:30 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

I think we missed one here --

'EJ claims he isn't drunk. He says his threat was a figure of speech. Kate thinks it was a drunken slip. He tells her to let it go, "I should have thrown you in the river when I had a chance."'

The entire audience stands up and shouts, "DO-OVER!!!!"

I can't stand Kate of late, but now that they're potentially "hooking" her up with Stefano, maybe she'll get interesting again.

8:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bye bye Bart. You will be missed. Please don't die, just go into a coma. Hope to see you again. :(

8:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, so Bart is dead. That is so sad, as he provided some terrific comic relief.
If I were in charge of writing DOOL, here is what I woudl do....
So, EJ wants to kill Lucas. Ok, let him do it. But Lucas must be tourtured first. He must be made ot listen to himself claiming that he will "protect" Sami, all the while watching video of a shirtless EJ (hubba hubba) court Sami.
Next, Touch this guy airline would suffer a tragic loss, when it's only plane crashes into the Las Vegas dessert, killing all those on board. Buh bye 90210 crew.
OMB will finally come to terms wtih the fact that he killed his sister, only to realize that he didn't really kill his sister------HE MARRIED HER!!!! (Insert dramatic music here). Caroline Brady is Colleen Brady!!!
The Phimi baby will enter the scene when Kayla and Steve decide to adopt a new child as their old one is a hopeless cause.
Bope will remember they, too have a baby and go back to, you know, parenting her.
Clair Brady will get big and strong and kick her parents asses for being such losers.
Phillip will grow so tired of Kate's non stop hovering that he will run away to join the Marines, where he will sustain another injury to his face, and come back as yet another Phillip.

Ok, that's it, I need a new hobby!!!

8:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kate and Stefano??? More geezer sex?!?! YUCK!!!

8:31 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Not the Bartmeister!! I'd heard it was coming but hoped against hope it was a false rumor. I believe Rolf is resusitating him in the back room.

Is there anyone EJ HASN'T been slapped by? Prevuze could do a minute-long moving picture of just him getting smacked by various people. HAHAHAHA

LOL over Santo's "lengthy 3 day mourning period" and EJ hanging with Alex. In the words of Santo,
"It'sa an a-musin a-Prevuze-a today. A-thanksa!"

8:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did everyone see this article about Bart from CNN?

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/07/26/apontv.death.scene.ap/index.html

10:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting article! Thanks Anonymous!

10:42 AM  
Anonymous THeresa said...

cfish LOL and here's another one missed:

He rips the key off. with a handful of hair and the gum holding it on. "Finally!"

11:01 AM  
Anonymous moposh said...

She prays, "Dear God, give me strenth."


That's what I said when I knew Santeen would be in the show.

I want EJ and Sami together. I want the twins to be EJ's. Okay, I really want EJ for myself. :)

Poor Bart. RIP So I guess now Dr. Rolf will perform an autopsy so he can retrieve the key from Bart's stomach.

In SOD Carolyn Hinsey wrote that she doesn't like to see John and Marlena maul each other all the time either. Some things are better left offscreen.

Did they ever get a new place or are they bunking with Adrienne too?

12:05 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Did they ever get a new place or are they bunking with Adrienne too?

They don't have a new place but John's an achiever. He wants to be the world's only homeless billionaire.

12:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A fifty year grudge??? They're saying a kid who looked to be maybe 10 years old is now a 60 year old man who is the father of Roman Brady, grandfather of Sami et al and great grandfather of Will. Yeah, sure! Guess he was already a father of Roman, during the days of these flashbacks.

1:27 PM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...

Bye-bye Bart--maybe. Good job on swallowing the key.

Kate and Stefano in league together. Maybe some real action will begin. Maybe some friction between them as I think Stefano would prefer that Sami and EJ didn't get together while Kate would like nothing more.

Lame Santo and Colleen material. Can they move along to the juicy stuff? There is far too much Sami we-shouldn't-be-doing-this Roberts in Colleen's protests.

6:46 AM  

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