Saturday, February 10, 2007

A New Low In Literature

In 1830, author Edward Bulwer-Lytton wrote the following opening lines in his book, Paul Clifford:

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents – except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."

Until today, this single run-on sentence has been the poster child for bad writing. It took 177 years, but the world finally has a new bad writing standard...

John's apparition takes Marlena into a place resembling the Garden of Eden. Both dressed in sparkling white with the camera slightly out of focus, John takes Marlena's hand...

Marlena: John, where are we? What is this place?

John: Everywhere... Nowhere... A place between here and there... Life... Death... Waking and Dreaming...

Marlena: How?

John: You know the answer to that.

Marlena: Love

John: Makes anything happen. You taught me that. Love makes anything possible. It makes anything real.

Marlena: John, could I...

John: Touch me? If I let go of your hands right now...

Marlena: Maybe one? Maybe just one hand?

John: What do you feel?

Marlena: (Caressing his face) I feel warm. I feel you. You're real.

John: Yes, I am real.

Marlena: I'm sorry. I'm just not...

John: Yes you are. You're very sure.

Marlena: Maybe... oh... if you could kiss me, then I'd know for sure. If I could just feel that.

John: (Caressing her face) Do you feel this?

Marlena: Yes, I do.

John: (Touching his lips to her cheek) Do you feel this?

Marlena: Uh-huh... Yes!

John: (Kissing her) This...


Please join us in congratulating the DOOL writers for hitting a new low in literature.

Prevuze

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, Prevuze. I laughed out loud. It is perhaps the worst piece of writing they have ever bothered to film at Daze, and that's saying something.

LOL at Ben Franklin and Steve.

Keep up the good work.

Foo

10:26 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

What is WRONG WITH THEM?! That is just HORRIBLE! I haven't watched an entire episode for at least two weeks because of this ridiculous stoyrline.

Thanks Prevuze for a good laugh!

2:59 PM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

What a great Saturday surprise. Dismal writing gets its due recognition. Bulldog comes through with another hilarious pic that hits the nail on the head. And I got a Saturday Prevuze fix.

Thanks all you hard-working Prevuze people!

4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ROFLOL! That is definitely a new low, even for Daze. I have wondered why Marlena with all of her money doesn't take John home, now I know!lol
What really does scare me is that somewhere, someone actually likes this drivel!

4:53 PM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

When I watched the episode I just couldn't believe this was from the new writers that were going to raise Daze to Emmy level.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

'nuff said.

Except thanks, Prevuze, for the Saturday surprise edition!

8:11 PM  
Anonymous Law Student 2011 said...

It was sooooo bad that my brother, (who tivos while at work) called me and said "WTF!!!! was that!!!!)Pathetic, just pathetic!!! Bulldog, you keep me in stitched with your pics and comments. Thanks guys for the Saturday Prevuze!

3:45 AM  

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