Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Osama Bin Johnson

Billie carries a box to her apartment. She attempts to unlock her door. EJ stands behind her and asks, "Do I hear the sound of a damsel in distress?" Billie turns and drops her jaw, and then sighs.

John vegetates. Marlena says this is the day she has prayed for. He is leaving the hospital. But in her prayers he left with her. She pours her heart out. John has an out-of-body experience. He watches as Marlena blathers on.

The cops rough up Patch as they throw him back into his cell. He tells them to watch it. He just had his orange jumpsuit pressed. The judge read him the riot act at the arraignment, "He accused me of everything, including terrorist threats. That's me – Osama Bin Johnson." Kayla reminds him of his promise to check himself into the psych ward.

Sami shows up. She asks Roman, "Are you going to read me my rights?"

"You have the right to come here and give me a hug," says Roman. He tells her about the footage Kate brought over. Sami blames herself. She should have known Kate was setting her up. Roman is surprised she's letting Kate off so easy. Sami says she is better off just keeping the peace with Kate now. Roman thinks there is another reason she isn't going after Kate.

Billie didn't realize EJ was back. She's moving into her apartment alone. Chelsea is on a wild goose chase and Kate never helps with anything like that. But Kate has invited her to EJ's presentation that evening. EJ offers her a ride. Billie hesitates. EJ asks, "Are you afraid Lucas might catch us? Talking I mean." He tells her Lucas is now working for him. Sami encouraged it, "Truth be told I'm a nice guy. I wouldn't harm a soul."

Marlena rambles on. Time has stopped for them. It isn't exactly zipping along for the viewers either. But their love has not stopped. Yada. John tells her he's coming back. He's trying to reach her. He just doesn't know how.

Patch tells Kayla as soon as he is freed they will go home and make love and then go to the cuckoo's nest. First things first. Kayla thinks he's taking this well. He says he isn't, "I'm boot shaking scared."

Dr. Beale comes to see him. He's the chief shrink at the hospital. He gives Steve the commitment document to sign.

Steve looks it over, "Name... height... psychosis..." Steve says this won't work for him.

Roman just wants to know if Sami wants to fill in a missing piece or two in her story. Sami says it's not a story. It's what happened. Roman wants the truth, whatever it is. He hopes Sami has enough faith in him to tell him.

Sami wonders where the lie detector is. Her word is good enough for Roman. Sami relates her story again. Her rage gave her the strength to lift the beam. Roman applauds. He believes her. He tells her about the expert Kate brought in. He swore there was no way she could have lifted the beam. Roman tells her that's what a lot of the cops around there think, too. She wants to know what Roman thinks, "Do you think aliens landed and lasered the beam off?"

"Aliens have been done too many times on DOOL," says Roman, "Actually, though, aliens never crossed my mind, but EJ Wells did."

Billie thinks EJ is charming. EJ says he has come to respect Sami and Lucas. They have a respect for each other. It looks like their love will last. That's what everybody wants – a soul mate. If he's lucky he'll find one of his own some day. Billie couldn't agree more, but thinks EJ is a little old for her. EJ picks up a box and offers to help.

Patch says he can fix this on his own if he can find the key. Kayla insists he can't. They can't. She makes a pitch for working with Dr. Beale.

John has to find a way to reach Marlena, "I gotta tell you what EJ said the night of the shooting." He can feel her. He can hear her, "I'm trapped in a deep, dark pit, more commonly known as my mind. I'm right here Doc."

Marlena says, "Go to sleep, perchance to dream." Hey, you're seeing the show for free. Nobody ever promised actors who could get a five-word line right. Shakespeare rolls over in his grave.

John tells her to look for him in her dreams, "Follow my voice in your dreams."

Dr. Tucker comes in and announces the transporting ambulance is there. Marlena cries. She can't believe this is happening. She kisses him. John, that is. Dr. Tucker is across the room. John gets sucked back into his body.

Sami wonders why Roman thinks EJ helped. The weight of the beam suggests she had help. Whoever helped her didn't want any part of the spotlight. Maybe he was on the run. Sami reminds him she helped set EJ up in the first place. Roman says it's his job to get to the bottom of it. Sami stands and asks if the interrogation is over.

"I don't know," says Roman, "You tell me."

Patch asks how long he would be in the loony bin. The doctor tells him two weeks. Kayla tells him the time would go quickly. "Easy for you to say," snorts Patch. The Doc reminds him his bail could be revoked if he doesn't agree. "I get it," he growls, "Jail or the psycho circus. Nobody tells me where to go."

Marlena tells Dr. Tucker she saw John move. She begs John to talk to her. John wants her to talk to him in dreams. Marlena insists he spoke to her. Dr. Tucker says he couldn't have. It's involuntary muscle movement. Marlena says she is a doctor. She knows the difference, "We haven't lost him. Oh, John, I'm here."

Patch refuses to sign the commitment papers. Kayla takes the document. Dr. Tucker leaves. Patch doesn't think he could cut it in a mental ward. She reminds him he stayed in quarantine with her. He risked his life for her and Shawn and Belle. She wants him to go that same distance for himself.

Roman thinks Sami is blowing all this out of proportion. Sami insists she isn't. She was so happy to get that award from him. He was proud of her and that meant so much to her. Roman says he still is proud. He promises not to grill her again. Sami bawls and hugs him.

The doctor tells Marlena John's brain has ceased to function. "I knew it," squeals Marlena, "he's back to normal. He said my name clearly. It wasn't involuntary." He says the arrangements have been made. Marlena says, "I don't care about the arrangements. My husband is staying right here. And that's my final word."

Regis Philbin runs in, "Are you sure? Is that your final answer?" "

"Final answer," says Marlena.


EJ helps Billie move in. He suggests she could store some of her stuff in his place. Billie doesn't want to impose. He offers to give her a hand, "There's nothing wrong with that."

"That's where you are wrong," says Billie.

Kayla thinks Patch's life is in danger. He thinks the DiMeras could get to him in a psych word. Kayla says she has ensured there is complete security in there. Patch lowers his head and says, "At least while I am in here I won't hurt anybody."

Kayla says, "That is what you are afraid of, isn't it? That you might hurt me."

Sami bawls. Roman wishes he were in Canada with Shawn and Belle. He begs for a smile, if not sanity. He says having a hero for a daughter takes getting used to. He thinks Kate will soften up when she learns about the grandkid. Sami tells him Kate already knows. She falls apart. Roman goes for water. The instant Roman leaves the office, Sami is up to her old tricks. She bawls, "If you wanna know my secrets, Kate, I'll find out yours." She goes through Roman's filing cabinet.

Billie says what's wrong with that is she has been relying on other people way too much lately. She used to be somebody. She used to be a cosmetics company executive. She left because her mother and her didn't see eye to eye. Then she went into law enforcement. Personal problems got in the way of that. Now she's starting over and not relying on the kindness of strangers. She tells him she's been thinking about the security business – not for big business, but home security. She thinks she can take advantage of technology and pass the savings along to homeowners and make it affordable.

EJ thinks this doesn't have to be a dream. Mythic is looking to expand its assets. He asks if Billie is interested.

Patch doesn't want to hurt anyone, especially not Kayla. Kayla begs. She doesn't want to argue any more. If he loves her and would do anything for her, she wants him to prove it.

Marlena insists John is staying where he is. She invites Dr. Tucker to leave. He goes. Marlena smiles and asks John if he thinks she was too hard on the doctor, "The gossip mill here at the hospital is probably already cranked up." But she knows John and knows he is trying to reach her. She will be right here waiting for him to tell her he loves her, "You'd better get busy, mister. I'll be right here."

Sami rifles through Roman's files. She finds the John Black surveillance disk and stashes it. Roman comes in and asks if she is looking for something. Sami cries.

Billie hesitates. She doesn't want Kate and Lucas to think she is horning in. EJ suggests talking at his place over wine. "I don't drink," says Billie.

"Prune juice, then," says EJ.

"Prune Juice," repeats Billie, "How can I resist? No. I told Mom I'd meet her for the presentation." EJ suggests they go together. Billie caves in, and they leave together.

Interesting, isn't it, that Billie never even mentions his shiner.

Patch thinks Kayla doesn't fight fair. "Sign on the dotted line," says she says.

"After you come in here and make love to me."

"Sign the papers and we'll see if you get lucky," says Kayla. That did it. Patch signs his life away, "Hope you still think I'm sexy in a straight jacket with drool on it."

"What woman wouldn't," says Kayla, "It will be all right." Kiss. She walks off with the paper.

Patch says, "I don't know baby. I just don't know."

Sami cries and tells Roman she was looking for a napkin or tissue. Roman pops a tissue off his desk and hands it to her. Sami asks if they are done. Roman has had enough. They're done. Sami guzzles the water, gives him a hug and leaves.

Marlena has crawled in bed with John.

"Come to me in dreams," says John. John's eyes flinch. It's a reverse squint.

Marlena dreams. Thunder. A door rattles. "Where am I?"

John drones, "I'm right here, Marlena. Behind the door. We'll find each other. Don't be afraid. Just open the door."

Marlena grabs the handle. Thunder crashes. FF.


John tells Marlena, "Because this time your fear is the only thing that will keep you alive."

Kate tells Lucas, "Someone else was in that cabin. She had help that night."

EJ asks, "You think I'm the monster they make me out to be." Billie backs him off, "If you are, I will find out. I don't scare easily."

Sami asks, "Wow, Kate, what do vows mean to a whore?"


Anonymous applecheeks said...

Great one today! You know things on the show get bad when half the (picture) characters are invoking the name of the deity. HAHAHA

Got a good laugh out of all the Prevuisms - Shakespeare rolling over in his grave and time not exactly zipping along for viewers either.

The good news is that Prevuze fans can zip and zap through the show with abandon. Prevuze, however, should be savored at leisure - like a fine wine or a nice tall glass of prune juice!

Great report today, thanks.

7:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Am I the only one that thinks that the storyline between John and Marlena is even more idiotic than what they normally do? I can hardly bear to read it, no way could I watch it!

7:15 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I'm with Anonymous. I just can't stand this Marlena and John dream-talking storyline. It makes me want to stab my eyes out with a pencil. But I don't have to because I can just read about it instead of torturing myself with watching the actual drivel on tv. Thanks, Prevuze, for saving my eyesight!

John's brain function back to normal, Regis Philbin making a cameo appearance...classic Prevuze! Thanks for a great post!

7:53 AM  
Blogger Vampire Bear said...

I somehow see the year playing out like this:

kate : i have a new theory about that night.
lucas : what is it, mom?
kate : someone was in the cabin with sami.

kate : lucas, there's something i have to tell you.
lucas : mom, i love it when you tell me new and exciting things.
kate : someone was in the cabin with sami that night.

kate : lucas! I had the weirdest dream last night.
lucas : was it about a jellyfish that liked playing poker with the dogs?
kate : no... someone was in the cabin with sami that night.
lucas : you mean... besides me?
kate : yes... and I think it was e.j....

sami : i'm sorry, lucas. e.j. was in the cabin with me that night but if he wouldn't have helped me you would have died.
lucas : i can't believe this, sami. i really didn't see this one coming.

8:08 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

Patch: "Nobody tells me where to go." I bet the guys with a straight jacket could tell him where he's going.

I love how the crack Salem PD keeps things such as surveillance tapes securely locked. Still, I hope Sami releases the steamy scenes of Kate and EJ to all of the tv stations.

"Reverse Squint" HAHAHAHAHAAHA! Great Prevuze and pictures today. :D

8:19 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

Vampire Bear: Boy, I can tell you're a long-time DAYS watcher.

Your gift for plotting out (or is it "plodding out") the way DAYS' story-line will unfold is remarkable!


9:41 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

You guys are entirely too entertaining.

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe they should share that prune juice with the writers, it'll get things moving.

1:47 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"Maybe they should share that prune juice with the writers, it'll get things moving. "

HAHAHAHAHA! Or... maybe the writers have had too much prune juice and that's why all we get from them is... you know.

This is quickly degenerating.

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know the words in italics are not actually part of the show, but the name Regis Philbin was not in italics. I'm guessing this is just an oversight. Regis is not on the show, right?

3:16 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"I know the words in italics are not actually part of the show, but the name Regis Philbin was not in italics. I'm guessing this is just an oversight. Regis is not on the show, right?"

Typically in a quote, it is our style to leave the person's name unitalicized, primarily because the character can go on to say something else which actually was in the show.

No, Regis was not in the show, but we do think it is indicitave of how inane this show can sometimes be if the question has to be asked. After all Clay Akin was in the show, which made about as much sense as Regis being in the show would make.

4:00 PM  

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