"That's the most incredible story I ever heard," says Roman.
Sami snorts, "Are you calling me a liar?"
Lexie picks at her food. She says she didn't deserve the third degree, "What if I wasn't a witness?" Abe wants to know if that's the case, why she told Roman she saw what happened.
The brat shows up at Chez Rouge looking for a job. Maggie is stunned.
Dark room. Billie arrives home calling out to see if anyone is there. No answer. She goes through a pile of envelopes and sees the letter from Steve. She slowly opens and reads.
"Dear Billie – saying I didn't know what to say was lame even for me. All I can say in my own defense is consider what a lame show we are on. You deserve better. If you haven't already burned this letter without reading it, I'll answer your questions. I'll tell you what you meant to me."
The devil card's eyes burn. Steve's head spins. He staggers and faints. Kayla finds him and gasps, "Steve! Steve!" Steve huffs and puffs.
Abby and Nick. She asks what he is going to do about Chelsea. Nick thinks if he tells her the truth she'll look at him differently. They go into the Java Café. Nick thinks Chelsea's attitude is an act. Abby makes the, oh so obvious, Cyrano parallel. Nick insists Chelsea could never love him.
The brat tells Maggie about Lonely Splicer. She's changing because of him. She wants the job for her mom, too, who is devastated over Steve and still living with the last guy she broke up with. The brat wants a fresh start for both of them, "I heard the pyro-hooker was thrown in jail for setting Shawn's apartment on fire, so I figured you'd need someone to cover for her. Why not me?"
"Now, that's the Chelsea that I know and love," says Maggie.
Patch's letter goes on and on. The guy Billie met wasn't the real him. The feelings were real, though. She's a good woman. He let her down. If things had turned out different... she was good for him. Parts of his life are still missing. But he'll never forget the time they spent together.
Billie cries and tosses the letter on the table, "Neither will I."
Steve comes around, "Where are we?" Kayla fills him in. She tells him he passed out. He doesn’t remember anything. Not remembering things is kind of becoming his hobby. He stops her from getting a doctor. He wants her to examine him, "And then I'll examine you."
Kayla asks, "Are you trying to distract me?"
"Is it working?"
Roman thinks Sami's story is incredible – in a good sense. Sami flashes back to EJ – in a bad sense. She says she did what she had to do. She doesn't want to talk about it. A doctor calls Roman aside and whispers something to him. Roman touches his brain to activate whatever cells are left up there. Then, Roman turns and tells Sami John was shot. Apparently the activation didn't work.
Sami falls apart, "You're saying EJ shot John? How could you let this happen? How could you let EJ get away?"
"How do you know EJ got away," asks Roman.
Sami says, "If you had captured him you wouldn't be here – you'd be off grilling him."
Roman says, "If John doesn't make it..."
Sami breaks down even more, if that is possible, "Don't talk like that. He and Mom were finally gonna be happy." Sami asks what happened. Roman tells her John was a proxy for Bo, because Bo had to go take care of Lockhart, who had kidnapped Hope. Sami thinks EJ made Lockhart do it. Sami assures him everything will be OK. Roman says they do have a witness – Lexie.
Abe thinks Lexie is afraid, so she is changing her story. He vows to protect her. Lexie asks hypothetically if she didn't see the shooting could he still put the case together. He says no. Lexie is all he's got.
Abby and Nick sip coffee. Maggie calls Abby and tells her about Chelsea. She asks if she should give her a chance. Abby, playing the part of the adult in the conversation, says it's her decision. Maggie hangs up and stares.
Abby tells Nick its' amazing how far Chelsea would go to impress Lonely Splicer. "I'm such a loser," says Nick, "I might as well tell her the truth. I'll have her meet me at her house."
Kayla brings Patch some water. She wants to schedule him a physical, but she wants to get his vitals checked immediately. Patch says, "OK, for you Sweetness."
Kayla leaves and tells him not to go anywhere.
"I have no place to go," says Patch. He sees the devil card on the floor and contemplates.
Roman tells Sami he will explain about Lexie later. Somehow EJ got through a roadblock close to where Sami and Lucas were stranded. Sami has a flashback about the roadblock. Roman says, "The officers logged all the license plates going through the roadblock. Lexie's license plate was one of them. Of course, logging the names of the drivers whose licenses they checked would have been too much trouble, so they didn't do that. He asks if Sami saw a car like Lexie's when she was looking for help. Nope.
Roman says he is so proud of her. Hugs. Sami bawls, "DADDY!"
Abe and Lexie talk about what they have both been through tonight. She witnessed what may turn out to be a murder; he had dinner with a lying tramp who is also a disgraced doctor. He wonders how many transplants he can put himself through. Whatever he decides Lexie is behind him. She thinks it would be worth one more try. Lexie says, "Going blind is scary."
Abe says, "The only upside is I wouldn't have to watch DOOL."
Having you take care of me scares me even more than going blind. I'd rather die."
"With my track record as a doctor, you would," says Lexie.
Chelsea comes up to Maggie and asks about her decision. Maggie offers for the brat to do a shift right now as a trial. The brat is soooo perky, "To see if I like the job?"
Maggie scowls, "To see if you can do the job. Go back and ask for Margaret and tell her I sent you."
Billie is on the phone leaving a message for Kate. Billie cries and pours her heart out. Steve got his memory back and reneged on choosing her over Kayla. Billie is tired of always having to say the right thing. She's really not happy for Steve and Kayla at all, "When is it my turn. I am tired of settling for scraps and ending up alone. Could you call me, please?"
Billie cries and stares at the letter. She wanders. She opens the cabinet. ALCOHOL! She ponders. She grabs the bottle and pours a glass of wine. She hesitates. She puts it down.
Patch picks up the devil card. He hyperventilates. Kayla comes out and asks what is wrong. He pockets the card and stares so hard he can see through the Patch.
Kayla asks if he is OK. He says he is. She tells him the doctors are conveniently all too busy to see him, so she will examine him.
Patch comes out of his funk, "Goody goody!"
Lexie has a firm grasp of the obvious, "I'm your wife, Abe." Chelsea interrupts. Lexie is shocked to see her working there. The brat hands them their decafs and offers the check to Lexie. Lexie gives her a look which says, "I'm unemployed. Give it to the guy with the job." Abe looks at the bill, but can't see it. Lexie asks the brat to leave.
"Is there a problem," chirps Pollyanna.
Demons from the bowels of hell possess Lexie, "I SAID LEAVE US ALONE!"
Little Miss Sunshine smiles through gritted teeth, "OK sure." Chelsea's going to love this job.
Billie smokes and drinks wine. The doorbell rings. She gulps the rest of her wine and hides the bottle and glass. She gets up to answer the door and stumbles.
It's Nick. He says he came by to see Chelsea. Billie slurs, "She's not here, but hey, COME ON IN!"
Nick sits on the sofa beside her as Billie lights a cigarette.
Going to the candidate's debate.
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you've got to choose
Every way you look at this you lose.
Nick clears his throat, "Uh... Mrs. Reed?"
Billie puffs, "Miss Reed."
"Are you OK?"
Billie insists she has never been better. Nick leans back and discovers the bottle behind a pillow, "Chelsea told me you didn't drink."
Billie gives her best Anne Bancroft look. Speaking of whom... "Chelsea's right. I don't drink. But tonight is a special occasion."
Nick asks, "You're' in a program, right?"
Billie says, "You can't tell Chelsea about this."
Nick asks what's wrong. Billie says he's too young to understand. Nick claims he's wise beyond his years. He is experienced enough to know she's plastered.
"The technical term is blotto," says Billie. She breaks down. Nick offers to call Chelsea. She screams and makes him promise he won't.
He doesn't have to. Billie's brat-phone rings. Chelsea tells Billie she's running late. She's supposed to meet Nick there but really doesn't feel like seeing him.
Billie whispers, "He's here."
Chelsea says, "Get rid of him."
"I don't think so," says Billie.
The brat signs off, "Tell him I'll see him tomorrow. OK-Bye."
Billie turns and tells Nick Chelsea will have to reschedule. Nick isn't there. Billie looks back over to the couch where Nick is reading Patch's letter. Billie tells him that's not police. Nick says he is sooooo sorry.
"Don't look at me like I'm a loser," slurs the loser.
Abe tells Lexie he couldn't read the bill. Lexie says husbands and wives are there to help each other. She asks him to think about all the sacrifices he has made for her. Hugs. He thanks God for her every day.
Kayla examines Patch. She says his heart is racing.
"I'm a little faint," says Patch, "I need some kayloxygen."
Nick says Billie isn't a loser. He apologizes for reading the letter.
"That's all right," says Billie, "Pretty soon the whole town will know about it. You're so young and romantic."
"So are you," says Nick.
"Romantic," says Billie, "But not young."
"It's the wine," says Nick.
"It's my life," bawls Billie.
Nick says he cares, "Because we're not all that different." He waxes philosophical, "It's like there is part of you that you want to show someone, and they will recognize you for who you are."
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself.
Look around you all you see are sympathetic eyes...
"I know how you feel," says Nick.
Billie says, "How do you know all that."
Nick says, "Because I feel the same."
Billie says, "God help you."
Dr. Kayla and Patch kiss. Patch insists he is fine. Kayla says she buried him once and doesn't want to go through that again. He promises he will get a neurological work-up. Kayla goes to make the appointment. Patch pulls out the devil card.
Nick says Billie wants to seem hard and cynical but she's not. She's beautiful and will find someone else.
"Spoken like someone at the beginning of his life," says Billie, "What the hell difference does it matter if at the end of the day I get to go home alone and go to bed by myself when all I want is..."
"Someone to hold you... and... kiss you," says Nick. Closer... closer... Kiss. Fade to the letter.
Max says, "What I want to know is... Is there something going on between us... Mimi?"
Lucas lies in his hospital bed and asks Sami, "I still don't understand one thing. Who got that beam off my leg like that?"
Chelsea asks heather, "Do you want to fight me? 'Cause I'm game."
Nekkid Nick stammers, "No, no, no. You're not going to tell Chelsea are you?" Billie smiles.
It's a little secret just the Robinsons' affair.
Most of all you've got to hide it from the kids.
|Be sure to tune in throughout 2007, when DOOL writers, who never had an original idea themselves, will continue to rip off your favorite classic movies.|