Friday, June 30, 2006

One-Shot Wonders

Phillip thinks the 'procedure' was weird but fun, "Mission accomplished." By God, the Marines have done their duty again! The schoolgirls giggle.

The hand switches the lids on the petri dishes. Shawn assures Mimi things will work out this time. The Hand opens the door and watches.

Belle says, "Just think, in nine short months, or three DOOL weeks, Claire could have a little brother or sister."

Phillip hugs Belle and looks over her shoulder as the hand stalks, "We may have a problem."

Billie asks Patrick if it's a good idea for him to be here. He tells her if he is the father of Hope's baby, he wants to be here to find out as soon as the tests are in and stick it to Bo. Billie says Bo will go ballistic if he finds Patrick here. "Which is why Hope needs me," says Patrick.

"But if you weren't here, Bo wouldn't go ballistic and Hope wouldn't need you," says Billie.

"Logic is the last refuge of puny minds," says Patrick.

Hope tells Bo the tests are just about underway. There is no doubt in Bo's feeble mind he is the father. He claims he can prove it.

Sami dreams of her wedding. Flash forward. Instead of Austin, she sees Lucas and snaps out of it. Lucas barges in with a bag slung over his shoulder, "I'm movin' in."

Sami asks, "What? Did you change your mind about marrying Carrie?"

Carrie stands on the rooftop and contemplates the fact that she is really getting married tomorrow. Flash forward to Lucas putting the ring on her finger. He turns into Austin, of course. Carrie worries that she may be making a mistake. "Do I really love Lucas," she asks.

Austin comes up behind her, "Do you?"

Carrie asks what he is doing here. "I just came up to hit the bag around a few times."

The bag nods and moves away from him.

He says he thinks she's not sure about the wedding. He wonders if she would be marrying Lucas if she weren't pregnant.

"I'd be marrying him," she says, "We just wouldn't be having that special shotgun ceremony."

Lucas says he hasn't changed his mind. He was joking about moving in. Austin offered for him to stay there since it's bad luck for him to see Carrie before the wedding


Sami sulks and tells him to hang his stuff up. Lucas says he thought they were getting along better. Sami claims he doesn’t know what's going on.

"A part of you doesn’t want me to marry Carrie," says Lucas, "I'm right, aren't I?"

Phillip moves toward the door as the hand stalks. He veers off and says Dr. Jaynes can't change the fact that he has crippled sperm. Belle tells him to stay positive. She reminds him they got pregnant before. Mimi watches as they hug. She thinks, "You and Phillip didn't get pregnant. You and Shawn did."

"Waiting sucks," says Shawn, "Why don't we go check out the babes, uh babies down the hall?" Mimi isn't sure. Shawn says, "I think it would do us good. We're in this for all the Days Of Our Lives, unlike my parents. Let's go."

Bo tells Hope her pregnancy is a sign good things can happen between them again. The baby is a gift from Zack to tell them they belong together. She asks, "If it is Patrick's baby, is that a sign we shouldn't be together?" Poor Bo. He's such an easy target. She thinks he will never look at her the same way after she slept with Patrick. And vice versa with Billie. If Patrick is the father how will they deal with it?

Billie wonders how sure Patrick is he is the father. Bonnie listens. Billie thinks Patrick wants the baby to be his, "What are you going to do about it if it is?"

Bonnie runs up and congratulates him. She gushes. She might be a grandma twice this year – a young one. Patrick tells her to back off. He doesn't know if he is the father, "It could be Bo's baby."

Brainiac walks into the room as Patrick says this. "OMG," says Shawn, "My mother is pregnant?"

Carrie reminds Austin she was engaged to Lucas before she found out she was pregnant. She loves him enough to be the wife he deserves. Austin just wants her to be happy. She insists she and Lucas have committed to each other. Austin says the ring on her finger isn't a wedding ring, and if she isn't sure it's better to end it now.

Carrie asks, "Are you telling me you don't want me to marry Lucas?"

Sami says she is happy for all four of them. She asks if Lucas is having second thoughts. No. Sami thinks this is best for them and Will, too. Lucas thinks it's ironic. All those years he wanted her to become the woman she is now, and now they are marrying other people.

Sami wonders if Austin and Carrie hadn't shown up if they would have gotten back together. Lucas stares.

Phillip and Belle wonder what if it doesn't work. Belle says they will have plenty of time to discuss their options. Dr. Jaynes walks up and they ask if there is any news.

Patrick tells Shawn about the uncertainty over the parentage of his sibling-to-be. Shawn says he is angry but not at Patrick. It's Bo's fault. Mimi wonders if Shawn wants to get into the middle of this. He says he already is. Patrick urges him to give Bo and Hope some time alone. Not Shawn. Oh, no. He'll grab his motorcycle and go in through the window if he can find out where they are.

Bonnie takes her kids aside and tells them they are about to hit the Horton jackpot.

Bo insists the baby is his. Shawn busts in, sans motorcycle, "No matter whose baby it is, after what you did to us, you are going to stay out of Mom's life."

Lucas tells Sami he and Carrie love each other. He can't think about what would have happened if she and Austin hadn't shown up. Sami will be happy, too, if she doesn't screw it up. He takes his stuff to Will's room.

Sami thinks, "I have already done something to ruin both of our futures."

Austin knows they both take their commitments seriously. Carrie says, "What you heard me say was just pre-wedding nerves. End of discussion." If you believe that I have a bridge I'd like to sell...

Austin regurgitates their history. She is the great love of his life and once upon a time he was hers. Carrie flashes back. Shooting stars... New Year... The dipwads have built a fire on the roof... Kisses... Feelings... Taking things further...

Carrie cries. She remembers. She will never forget those times, but they can't go back. Austin says he still loves her. He only turned to Sami because Carrie chose Lucas, "Baby or no baby, it isn't too late to change your mind. But when you take those vows, they are for life. Or a few weeks, anyway."

Shawn and Bo argue. Shawn thinks Bo doesn't deserve forgiveness. He asks if the baby is Patrick's. Bo tells him they don't know yet. Bo starts to rant. Hope shuts Bo up and tells him she wants a minute alone with Shawn.

Bo leaves. Billie to the rescue! She insists Shawn is just angry. "That boy doesn't know angry," says Bo.

"Or much else," says Billie.

Patrick and Mimi tell Bonnie to cool it. Patrick leaves to check out the progress of the ultrasound tests. Mimi tells Bonnie she feels like she is with Shawn under false pretenses. Bonnie says once they have the baby she will have a stronger hold on Shawn than Belle ever will. Patrick comes back. No ultrasound yet. "Once those tests are complete," says Bonnie, "We will have one more tie to the Horton fortune... I mean family."

Dr. Jaynes thinks the procedure will be successful. He'll keep Phillip and Belle posted. He goes into the lab to create life. He tells the technician he doesn't want a mix-up with the man who is funding their research.

The hand stalks and remembers switching the names on the petri dishes. He gives another power fist of victory. Pan in on the petri dishes containing their own version of primordial ooze.

Belle can't believe they are going to have another baby. Phillip reminds her of what pregnancy means... morning sickness and all that. Belle can't wait to get that PPD buzz back.

Billie tells Bo he can't blame himself. He was in a situation of protecting his daughter or his wife. He says if this is Patrick's baby he will lose Hope. Billie tells him to focus on the fact it may be his. She wants him to be happy. She knows Hope is the one he loves.

Patrick wishes they would get on with the tests. Bonnie assures him, "The baby is yours. Lockhart's are famous for being one-shot wonders."

Mimi worries how this will affect Shawn.

Shawn asks if Hope is thinking of forgiving Bo. Dr. Ross interrupts, "Hope, we have to talk."

The tech tells Dr. Jaynes not to worry. He will triple check the labels on the petri dishes before he completes the fertilizations.

Phillip wants to go out and celebrate once they find out the fertilization is successful. And since Belle won't really be pregnant, she can get so plastered she might even want to sleep with him. Belle hopes Mimi and Shawn get their baby, too. Mimi listens and thinks, "Shawn already has a baby – Claire. Just none of you know it." Phillip and Belle hug in the foreground.

Dr. Ross tells Hope the news isn't good. After a pregnant pause, so to speak, she tells her the ultrasound gizmo isn't working. With The Fourth coming up they have to reschedule the tests for after the holiday.

Bonnie sits down beside Billie. She holds up her cell phone, and then takes a swig from its antenna, "I'll lay you odds the baby belongs to Patrick. That leaves Bo open for you. When you get your shot you go for it."

Hope can't believe this. She asks Patrick to walk her to her car. Bo gives him a look. Shawn follows and gives Bo a parting shot, "She made her choice, Dad."

Billie to the rescue again! Bo insists the baby is his. Billie wonders, "What if it isn't?"

"She is my wife," says Bo, "She will not end up with him."

"What are you planning on doing," asks Billie.

"Whatever it takes to get rid of that SOB."

Sami calls Lexie and leaves a message that they have to talk before Carrie and Lucas' wedding.

Lucas overhears. Sami claims she was calling her hairdresser. Lucas doesn't think she needs to worry about her hair. She and Austin have a great future if she wants it. He has to leave and take care of some things.

Sami sits alone and says, "It's not up to me, Lucas. It's up to Lexie, and I'm not gonna let that bitch ruin my entire life."

Carrie insists they can never be together. She flashes back to Lexie's diagnosis. Austin asks why they can't be together, "Tell me the truth. You owe me that much."

Carrie bawls, "You're right. I do."

Triple freeze-frame. Carrie. Lucas. Austin.



Kate says to Sami and Dr. Ho, "So the two of you are hiding something."

Kayla gasps, "Steve, you remember!" She throws her arms around him and Patch stares. Through one eye, of course.

Max asks, "What the hell is your problem?" The brat says, "I'm young and I want to have fun." Max says, "You can have all the fun you want from now on."

Frankie says, "I'd do anything for you and your family." Jennifer says, "I don't know what I'd do without you. I mean that... I mean that." Smooch. Jack comes out of his room.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Sami Nukes Salem

Shawn looks at Mimi's rings. He paces and remembers their argument. Bonnie arrives. Shawn tells her Mimi has locked herself in the bedroom bawling. She asked him for a divorce and threw her rings in his face. Bonnie says she will try to patch things up.

Another knock. Belle and Phillip invite Shawn and Mimi to breakfast. Shawn says he can't. Meanwhile, Bonnie pounds and yells. Mimi opens the door. Bonnie comes in and sees suitcases. Mimi tells her she's leaving. Bonnie tells her Shawn is desperate for her to stay. That's why he called the cavalry – Bonnie. Bonnie says, "Belle is just waiting for you to lose your nerve and you are not gonna give her the satisfaction."

Mimi says, "Mom, it is over. I have finally lost him."

Sami works on breakfast. She has a book propped up in front of her, "Make Him Beg For More." Austin walks in and says something smells great. Will tackles him. Sami says she is making breakfast for her monkeys. Lucas walks in. He smells things and loves it until he finds out Sami is the cook. He thinks Sami is just full of surprises. First the thing with Lexie and now she is actually cooking an edible meal. Everyone is soooo happy because of the way things turned out for Sami. Lucas says he is the happiest he will ever be marrying the woman of his dreams.

The aforementioned woman meets Kate, Roman and Caroline at the pub to plan her wedding. They sit down for breakfast.

Patch and Kayla are having breakfast. Patch tells her they need to have a serious talk.

It's a breakfast-a-thon as Max and Frankie have breakfast, too, and talk about Frankie's situation. Frankie couldn't let Jack go back to the hospice. He's where he belongs.

"Until he kicks the bucket," says the ever-sensitive Max. He sees Abby and the brat come in. Frankie asks if he is back together with Chelsea.

Abby thinks the way Max was looking at the brat was cute. She wants to know what she decided about them being exclusive.

"I'm saying no," says the brat.

Sami fixes fresh squeezed orange juice. She puts a tiny bit in each glass and passes it out. Will wants some from the fridge, but Austin signals for him to drink what he has. He takes a gulp and then leaves to take a shower. Austin goes to make some calls. Sami and Lucas. Lucas wants to talk. He tells her he owes her an apology for misjudging her. He thought she was hiding something. But she was just trying to protect Abe. He knows Lexie wants to bring Sami down. That's how he knew she was telling the truth, "I don't know if you'll forgive me for blaming you without knowing all the facts."

Roman is thrilled for Carrie. "Even if I'm the mother-in-law," asks Kate.

Lexie comes into the pub. Caroline asks if Abe will be joining her. No. Lexie asks to talk to Roman. That got Kate's attention.

Outside, Lexie tells Roman she can't believe she risked everything. Abe won't even talk to her. She asks if Roman could be a go-between.

Kate says she still thinks Lexie has something on Sami. She wonders why she won't spill the beans.

Patch liked Kayla's kiss, but it brought back no sudden memories. He's afraid things will never come back to him. Kayla will settle for things like this – for now. Patch asks, "Why don't you tell me more about the past? Talk to me about Stephanie."

Frankie thinks the brat is playing games. Max the blind idiot thinks Chelsea would never do things like that. He leaves.

The brat tells Abby it's not that she doesn't want to date Max, she just doesn't want to date him right now, "When it comes to handing men, you can never give them what they want when they want it." But she would never play games.

Belle is sorry Shawn and Mimi are going through hard times. Shawn is sorry they overheard his argument with Bo. He said some things he didn't mean. Belle volunteers to talk to Mimi. Shawn tells her Bonnie isn't the most diplomatic person, so that might be a good idea. Belle goes in to help.

Shawn senses something is wrong and asks Phillip, "What's your problem."

Phillip says, "Stay away from Belle."

Mimi tells Bonnie she is wasting her breath. Belle is the love of Shawn's life. How can she keep being his wife after she heard that? "Because you love him," says Bonnie, "Shawn doesn't want this divorce any more than you do. He loves you. He married you. If he had wanted to marry Belle, nothing would have stopped him. The only way he will choose Belle over you is if you hand him over on a silver platter. Do you want him, or are you gonna let Belle take him away from you?"

Belle yells through the door and asks if she can come in. She's Belle, so no need to wait for an answer. She brings water in for Mimi and asks what the suitcase is for. Bonnie says Mimi is just not getting around to putting her winter clothes away. She suggests they should leave and let Mimi get some sleep. They go and Mimi cries.

Shawn thinks it's about time they had this talk. He and Belle were together for a long time. He can't take that back. But Mimi is his wife and his future. Belle is in the past. He respects the fact that Belle is Phillip's wife. The girls come out. Bonnie tells Shawn he shouldn't go in. Shawn asks what Mimi meant when she said she was a fraud.

Bonnie says, "You know how pregnant women are. You're a man. Which means you are in the dark about most things. The IVF situation is making her nuts."

"We didn't need IVF for that," says Shawn.

Mimi interrupts. She apologizes. Bonnie urges her to go get some rest. Mimi tells her she is tired of lying. Not tired enough to tell the truth, though.

Sami says she can forgive Lucas. She thinks they have both changed. Lucas agrees.

Will comes out choking as the apartment fills with smoke. It seems the only thing Sami can use cooking utensils for is slamming people over the head. Forget the fire department – call Homeland Security... Sami nukes Salem. Maybe that book Sami was using actually said, "Make Him Beg For Mercy." They decide they all can go to the pub for breakfast. Sami tells them to go ahead and she will get ready and follow. After they leave, Sami makes a call.

Lexie would be ever grateful if Roman would speak to Abe. Roman agrees. Kate comes out and tells Roman Carrie is ready to leave if he can tear himself away. He goes inside without a word. Kate snaps, "You're welcome... Men! So much more trouble than they are worth." She turns to Lexie, "I'm worried about you, Lexie. I think what Sami did was a whole lot worse than you let on. Why didn't you give it to her between the eyes?"

Lexie gets something in her eye and leaves. Her cell phone rings. Kate answers and pretends she is voice mail. Sami asks why Lexie didn't tell everything.

After Sami hangs up, Kate says, "I'm on to you Sami. Now I just have to find out why Lexie is protecting you."

Max brings Chelsea flowers. The brat is coy. Abby leaves them alone. Max asks if the brat thought about what he said. The brat says she would rather be free to see other people. Too bad for the other people. Max leaves – rejected and dejected. Abby comes back and tells the brat she is too smart for her own good.

Kayla can't wait for Stephanie to see Patch. She can't reach her right now. She's a very busy person. She suggests Patch ask her about things he wants to know about her. Patch asks what she is like. Kayla says she is independent. She shows him pictures. She has a career that Kayla hates and she is sure Patch will hate it, too.

"Please don't tell me she is writing for DOOL," says Patch.


Mimi says she should have done this a long time ago. She hesitates. She apologizes for last night. Shawn tells her she is the only one for him. He takes a knee. He loves her so much. He asks if she will still be his wife. Bonnie urges her on. Mimi agrees. So much for being tired of lying. Shawn puts the rings on her finger. Belle stares, she is interrupted by her phone. She hangs up, "Looks like we have to make a stop on the way to breakfast – the hospital."

Mimi gets a call too. The egg they retrieved for her was a keeper. Everyone cheers.

Lucas, Austin and Will sit with Kate at the pub. Austin asks her to put her negative feelings for Sami aside for one day. Kate says she can do that.

Sami finds Lexie. She tells her she left a message and she wants to know why she didn't out her when she had a chance. Lexie tells her to leave it alone and leaves. Kate watches.

Roman can't wait to walk Carrie down the aisle and get rid of her for good.

The hand stalks.

"Whoa," says Patch, "That is not your typical profession." Kayla says she was upset when Stephanie told her what she wanted to do. "She takes after her papa, huh," asks Patch, "Can I meet her?"

"I'm just having a hard time tracking her down," says Kayla.

The nurse asks Shawn and Phillip to follow her. Belle and Mimi are delighted they will both be moms.

Kayla says Stephanie isn't picking up. She thought she would have called her back by now.

Kate asks Lexie why she is protecting Sami as Sami eavesdrops. She asks who was on the phone back at Sami's apartment. Lexie tells her to mind her own business and leaves.

Kate wonders, "Why are you so scared, Lexie?"

Lucas says he apologized to Sami. Austin is glad he did. He can't wait to marry Carrie.

Carrie tells Roman she got a call from the florist. They got the flowers she wanted, so all she has to do is walk down the aisle with her father.

The boys come back from their 'procedure.' Shawn thanks Mimi. She asks why. He says he was thinking of her the whole time. Smoochies.

The eggs sit in their petri dishes, one labeled "Mimi Brady," and the other labeled "Belle Kiriakis." The Hand switches the lids with the names on them and makes a fist of victory. Pan in on Mimi and Belle.


Austin says, "Tell me the truth. You owe me that much." Carrie says, "You're right. I do."

Lucas has a bag slung over his shoulder, "I'm movin' in." Sami asks, "What? Did you change your mind about marrying Carrie?"

Shawn tells Bo, "After what you did to us, you are going to stay out of Mom's life."

Mimi thinks, "Shawn already has a baby – Claire. Just none of you know it." Phillip and Belle hug in the foreground.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I Am Worse Than A Monster

Kayla comes out of the pub and finds Steve. He just got done talking to Frankie. Jack is OK and has decided to stay in Salem. Kayla says, "That is great for Jennifer, and us." She suggests maybe he can stay and something will jog his memory. Patch promises to keep an open mind. Kayla invites him to come with her.

Jack lies in the flower-decked bed. He moans. Jennifer tries to quiet him. Frankie comes in and Jennifer thanks him for convincing Jack to stay. They share a tender moment of yammering. Same ole tired stuff. Once Jack is gone, he is never coming back. Until the next time. She strokes Jack's hair as he sweats like a fountain gone berserk.

Shawn chases the hysterical Screamin' Mimi. She says he never loved her. He just settled for her. She knows he really does still love Belle. Shawn wants to know how she can say that. "Because it's true," blubbers Mimi.

"A part of me still loves her but not the way I love you," says Shawn as he considers becoming a monk, "I want to spend all the Days Of Our Lives together."

"But I am not the love of your life and I never will be," says Mimi. She runs into the bedroom and locks the door. Shawn begs her to listen.

As they return, Phillip tells Belle she never really answered his question. Belle insists Shawn and Mimi aren't breaking up. "Shawn told his dad Belle is the love of his life," says Phillip, "How do you get past something like that?"

"He was my first love," says Belle, "You are the man I love now. You are the man I married and the father of my child. Nothing will ever change that." Kiss.

"I don't wanna lose you," says Phillip.

"It's never gonna happen," says Belle.

Shawn comes out. Stare.

Dr. Flooze says, "The truth is Sami has been blackmailing me. Why don't you tell them how, Sami?"

Carrie asks Sami what's going on here.

"I have a reason for what I did," says Sami, "I'm not proud of it. The crowd gangs up on her and tells her to get to it. What, do they think this is a normal show instead of DOOL? The hand stalks.

"It's just so unfair," says Jennifer, "Jack has been through so much."

Frankie agrees, "Even when he is gone he'll still be here looking out for you."

"And I will have you here, too, Frankie," mumbles Jack, "I'll be able to rest in peace."

Sami says she doesn't need Lexie's help to spit it out. Kate thinks maybe they should call the police, since blackmail is such a serious offense. Austin shuts her up. Sami says, "You can call it blackmail if you want to, Lexie, but you are the one who ruined your marriage and I am not going to take the blame for it." Lexie stands there open-jawed.

The Hand opens a cell phone.

Patch says he told Kayla not to get her hopes up. She thought maybe the yacht would help him remember. He asks her to tell her more. She tells him she was injured before their wedding. She became a deaf mute. Afterwards, she got her hearing back but still wasn't able to talk. Then the wedding day came. Flashback. Patch signs "courage" and the vows begin. She talks.

Patch thinks it's hopeless if he can't remember something like that. Kayla tells him to come with her. She has more to show him.

Mimi does what Mimi does best, besides lying, that is. She bawls and says, "You will be better off without me, Shawn. You will be better off with Belle and your daughter."

Outside, Phillip tells Shawn they have to go. Belle turns to Phillip, "I'll be right there."

Phillip storms into the apartment. Shawn tells Belle Mimi just asked him for a divorce. He wants Belle to try to get through to her. She says she can't.

Jack says he has been awake long enough to hear what they were talking about. He has a spasm. He yells for painkillers. Jennifer makes an emergency call to John. She gives him some meds and he continues to writhe. Jennifer screams, "You can't leave us – not yet." Jack contorts.


Lexie ain't happy. She tried to get Sami to come clean on her own but now she has to tell. As she starts to blab, she gets a page. She apologizes and says she has to go. The crowd is hungry for blood. They all encourage her to be quick.

Austin tells Sami this is her last chance to tell them before Lexie has to do it. Sami says, "I was blackmailing her because I felt terrible about the way she was treating Abe. I saw her and Tek doing it in the park. Then I caught them again in Lexie's office. I told them I would go to Abe if they didn't cut it out."

"That's it," asks Austin.

"I wanted to force Lexie to be faithful," says Sami, "She is here for revenge. I never told Abe. I didn't want him to get hurt."

"If you didn't tell him, who did," asks Motormouth.

Dr. Ho is on the phone, "Who is this... OMG!"

Kayla and Patch get a tour of an empty jail cell. She tells him this is where she almost gave birth to their baby. This story almost came to a head on their THIRD wedding day. She goes through a litany of wedding stories. Anyway, she was arrested. Flashback. She went into labor in the courtroom during the trial. They barely made it to the hospital in time. Eventually she was exonerated, but not before a prison break and fleeing the country. Patch can't believe all this, "What are you... pulling my leg?"

"No," says Kayla, "This is pretty tame stuff for Salem. I don't want to scare you off and I can't guarantee our future won't be as crazy as the past, but we were happy and could be happy again."

Belle says she can't talk to Mimi. It isn't her place; it's Shawn's. He agrees. He starts to go back in for another try, but stops and tells Belle what he said at the hospital was true – about her being the love of his life, but he doesn't want to go through that again. He doesn't want to lose Mimi. She tells him Phillip and her are completely behind him. Shawn dives in for more.

Phillip comes up and asks if everything is OK. He says he heard the conversation. He says he is sorry for accusing her. Hugs.

Shawn begs Mimi to open the door. Mimi opens the door and swims out through a sea of tears. "We do need to talk," she bawls, "about our future."

Jack stresses. Frankie runs in and says he called the hospice. They said Jennifer needs to give him more painkiller. Jennifer is concerned she will give him too much, "I've already loaded him up like John Black on a binge." Jennifer shoves more painkiller in as Jack promises he won't die unless she is by his side.

Sami and Lucas argue. She says he has never taken her side. All she cares about his what Austin and Will think. Kate says Sami hasn't changed at all what she has done is probably worse than ever.

Lexie tells the mystery caller she won't do it, "It's not right... What... OK... Then I have no choice now, do I?" She hangs up.

The hand hangs up.

Lexie goes back into Sami's apartment. Kate tells Lexie what Sami said. Lexie says, "For once Sami is right. She was telling the truth."

Nick sighs and sits down. Kayla doesn't want to pressure him. She knows this is overwhelming. She can't stop thinking about the day she lost him. Flashback to the death scene. He thanks her for his life. He was nothing without her. She begs him to live. He tells her he loves her as he flatlines.

Kayla says that was the worst day of her life. It hasn't been the same since. Now that he is back it really is a miracle. She just wants them to be together. He is the only man she has ever loved.

Shawn apologizes for whatever Mimi overheard. Mimi ramps up her rage. He says it's no secret he used to love Belle but he is happy with her. He doesn't know where he would be if it weren't for her. He sees the lies his father has told and how it has shattered his parents relationship, "But I trust you and..."

"Stop it," screams Meems, "You don't know what you're saying! You can't trust me at all, Shawn. I'm nothing but a fraud."

"No," says Shawn, "You are much more than that. You are a crying, lying, hysterical fraud."

She flops down as the tears flow.

Kayla thanks Patch for seeing her to the door. She invites him in for a drink. He thinks he should get back to Jack. He's sorry the trip down memory lane has been a one-way street so far. She kisses his cheek. Patch stares and remembers kissing her.

Kayla asks, "What is it, do you remember something?" Patch stares.

Jack has settled down. Jennifer thinks now he can get some sleep. Frankie encourages her to get some sleep to, "Do it for Jack."

She agrees to lie down. She tells him she loves him as he leaves. Once he is gone she lies beside Jack and we have a lame music video. Jack struggles to hold her hand.

Belle comes downstairs in her nightie and tells Phillip it's about time he got home from taking the sitter back. Claire is asleep and she is ready for bed too. She doesn't think they will be doing much sleeping, though.

Shawn wants to know why Mimi would say she is a fraud. "If you knew me you would realize I am worse than a monster," blubbers Mimi, "You can't help. It's too late for us. For this marriage." She storms back into the crying room.

Kate can't believe it. She challenges Lexie. Dr. Tramp says the bottom line is Sami wanted her to stop cheating, "But Sami hasn't changed as much as you think she has. She will stop at nothing to get what she wants."

"This is crazy," says Kate, who has a firm grasp of the obvious.

Austin thanks Lexie for coming. He hopes she and Abe can work things out. In other words, he kicks her out.

"There has to be more," says Kate. Lexie leaves.

Lucas doesn't know what to believe, "Why would Lexie lie?"

"Sami hasn't changed at all. She has just managed to snow everyone again," says Kate.

Austin tells Sami he doesn't think this was her greatest move, but she was just trying to protect Abe.

Carrie agrees. Will says he is proud of her. He thinks it's cool Sami tried to save Abe and Lexie's marriage.

Lucas says, "I owe you an apology. Maybe you have changed."

Austin asks if she still wants to elope. No. She wants the biggest, best wedding in Salem, and they can send the bill to Kate. Kiss.

Lexie waits for the elevator, "This can't be happening. Who are you? Why won't you let me tell?" She gets on the elevator as The Hand stalks. He cracks open the door to Sami's apartment. FF Sami, Austin.


Bonnie tells Mimi, "Belle is just waiting for you to lose your nerve and you are not gonna give her the satisfaction." Mimi says, "Mom, it is over. I have finally lost him."

Shawn asks Phillip, "What's your problem." Phillip says, "Stay away from Belle."

Lucas tells Sami, "I don't know if you'll forgive me for blaming you without knowing all the facts."

Patch asks Kayla, "Why don't you tell me more about the past? Talk to me about Stephanie."

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

One Night Is All It Takes

Everyone gangs up on Jack for being out of bed. He wants to go back to the hospice to die. He wouldn't have come back if he had known today was Frankie and Jennifer's wedding. Patch tells him he's seen more life and sweatin him the past two days than all the time he has known him. Frankie tells him he won't let him go.

Dr. Stewart drops the big bomb. Hope is pregnant. Failing to think things through as usual, Bo jumps for joy. Patrick contemplates the possibilities.

Lunkhead and Carrie start to leave Sami's apartment, Lexie stops them as she walks in, "This time everyone will know what Sami Brady has done."

Bo is ecstatic. He asks for some time alone with Hope. Patrick and the doctor leave. Bo babbles. Hope stares. She remembers romping with Bo, and then with Patrick. Bo asks if she isn't excited. He thinks it's a sign from Zack that he wants them to work things out. Hope wishes it were that simple. Patrick stares into the room as Billie comes up. He tells her, "I have just heard some mind blowing news – Hope's pregnant. Of course, what would be even more mind blowing would be if the baby was Bo's, since the last time Hope even spoke to him was before Zack's accident almost six months ago."

Lexie says she is sorry to do this but just can't wait to dump the news on them, "It's time for Sami to take responsibility for her actions." Lucas eats it up. Will and Kate come in for the show.

Jack insists he isn't walking out on his family. He is protecting it. Jennifer and Abby don't need to watch him die. Jennifer scolds him. She thinks he is being selfish. Jack thinks it's time for her to be with her new husband, "I think we all have to agree this is just a wee bit awkward. I had made up my mind. I never planned to see Steve. Once I saw him I had to bring him back."

"Thank God you did," says Kayla, "You gave me my life back."

Jack says, "If it's part of God's plan for me to stay long enough to do that, then I am glad I did. All of you have a chance for a new life here. You should be celebrating now, not wasting your time watching me withering away. What kind of a man would I be if I stick around for that?"

Frankie asks, "What kind of a man would you be if you don't?"

Austin tells Kate she should stay out of this. Sami takes Will aside. He wants to know what Sami has done now. Sami flashes back to bribing Lexie, but tells him it is nothing. Buttinski comes over to join in. Carrie apologizes for the way Lucas is acting.

Kate asks Lexie, "So there is something between you and Sami. Are you going to tell me?"

"You'll hear soon enough," says Dr. Nympho, "And it will be over for Sami Brady."

Patrick paces. Billie asks if the baby is his. He isn't sure. They only had one night. "One night is all it takes," says Billie. If Hope is pregnant with your baby, Bo will be devastated.

Bo stands by Hope's bed, "Don't even think it."

"I have to say it," says Hope, "I'm not sure this is your baby."

"It has to be mine," says Bo.

"We have to be realistic," says Hope.

"No," says Bo, "Not on DOOL."

Hope asks, "What if this baby isn't yours?" Bo says, "Then Lockhart's a dead man." He whirls around and sucker-punches Patrick as he walks into the room. Billie and Hope both scream for him to stop. Patrick goes down like a ton of bricks. This is the part where in real life, Patrick would get up, crumple Bo into a tiny wad and flush him down the toilet. Now that would be fun to see.


Carrie tells Austin, "I have a lot of respect for Lexie."

Austin says, "That's what I like so much about you. You're so unique."

Austin wonders why Sami would do something to risk her future, now that she is happy. Carrie reminds Austin how guilty Sami has been acting. "I hope she's not done something we will all regret," says Austin.

Lucas asks for a second to talk to Sami alone. He urges her to beat Lexie to the punch and tell them before Lexie does. If she does, there is a one in a million chance they will forgive her. Lucas says he still loves her but she can't keep letting Will down, "Whatever you have done, you should be the one to tell Will, not Lexie." He reminds Sami he has been there for her during some of the tough times she has had, "Don't do this. You don't have to be perfect. Will just has to know he can trust you."

Sami says, "When I was just a little older than Will, I saw my mom sleeping with another man, but everyone thinks she is a saint and I am the demon child. I know Will doesn't trust me. I think it's too late to change things."

Austin comes up and asks her to tell them if she has done something wrong, "Don't compound things. If you have done something we need to hear it from you."

Jack repeats Frankie's question, "What kind of man will I be if I go? A dead one, Frankie."

"How could you do this," asks Frankie, "Coming in and out of their lives. You have made Jennifer feel like you don't trust her enough to stand by you. I don't know what else to say to get through to you."

Kayla and Patch leave to give them some privacy.

Jennifer begs Jack not to go. They don't want to have him die alone, "We know what you think your wishes are, Jack, but what about our wishes?"

Kayla wonders how Jack could think about leaving. Patch says if Jack goes, he has to leave too. After all, he is Jack's personal orderly, "So many bedpans, so little time."

Kayla says, "You are my husband. Give me a chance to take care of you. I should have known you were alive. Nobody dies in Salem. Please stay here and try."

"Don't you think I want to remember," asks Patch, "Most of my life is wiped out. You've had time to be able to do things for yourself. We can't go back. You're not my wife. Not anymore." Kayla stares.

Carrie asks for a moment alone with Lexie. She's sorry to hear about Lexie and Abe. Lexie says she has to take the blame for it, but there were other things that caused the breakup, too. Lexie asks Carrie if she is happy with Lucas. Carrie says she is. Lexie asks if things were different, would she still want to be with Austin.

Will wonders what Sami has done. Kate doesn't know. But she thinks Lexie has something to do with it. She loves Will and is proud of him, "You know, I was at your school the other night during the open house, and your counselor told me he has never met a young man who can handle nasty comments better than you can."

"With you as a grandmother, I have a lot of experience with nasty comments," says Will.

Sami says she hates that Lexie is doing this. Lucas presses her to tell the truth. Sami begs Austin to understand. He won't promise anything until he hears the juicy details.

Jack tells Jennifer he wants to stay but it will create problems for her and Frankie. Abby throws a fit and tells him he is the man her mom loves. "See," says Jack, "It's started already. I still want you to be with Frankie." He turns to Abby, "Seeing your mother truly happy will make my dying that much easier."

Abby says, "I think the reason you are leaving is you can't stand to see Mom with Frankie."

Frankie says, "This is your family. This is where you belong, Jack."

Billie pulls Bo and Patrick apart. Hope asks for some time alone with Patrick. Bo and Billie leave as Patrick walks over to Hope. She tends to his fat lip, and apologizes for dragging him into this.

"You don't have to apologize," says Patrick, "There is no place I would rather be."

Outside, Bo goes ballistic. Billie tries to mitigate things. Bo says, "This baby – if it's not mine, I don't know what is going to happen. If he's the father it could be over for Hope and me."

Patrick says, "I mean what I said, Hope. That night on the beach was where I wanted to be. If this is our child, the two of us will figure it out.

Hope asks, "And if it's Bo's?"

"Then that's between you and Bo."

"There is only one way to find out whose baby it is," says Hope.

Carrie tells Lexie Lucas is her future. Dr. Ho presses, "If you could have healthy children with Austin, would you be with Lucas?

Sami understands why people are suspicious of her. She says Lexie has been after her for a long time and she isn't going to let her ruin her chance for happiness. She starts to come clean, but in standard DOOL fashion, stops cold. She grimaces and squeals, "Oh, I have something in my eye."

Lucas isn't buying it. As Sami runs into her bedroom he yells, "What do you want – a little time to think of something?"

Sami looks into her mirror and says, "Either I tell every one I love the truth or..."

Bad Sami looks at her from the mirror, "There is no 'OR,' honey. You're screwed."

Bo doesn't s want Hope to think he blames her, but it kills him to think Patrick slept with her. Billie reminds him they slept together, too.

"Details, details," says Bo. The doctor rushes past them and says Hope paged her. Bo and Dr. Stewart run into Hope's room. Hope asks the doctor how far along she is in her pregnancy.

Sami tells the reflection in the mirror she is supposed to be on her side. She insists she isn't giving up, "There has to be a way to stop Lexie."

Dr. Tramp gathers the folks in the living room and says, "I know what I am about to say will hurt everyone here, but...

Sami walks up behind her and whams her on the head with a frying pan. Lexie drops like a rock. Sami shrugs her shoulders and says, "I'm so sorry... it was an accident." Sami snaps out of it and asks herself, "A frying pan, is that the best I can come up with?"

Bad Sami goes through her purse. Sami looks into the mirror and asks what she is doing. Bad Sami says, "I'm doing what you should, honey – getting the hell out of here."

Lucas pounds on the door. Carrie tells Lexie a future with Austin is all she ever wanted, but now she is with Lucas, carrying his child.

Carrie walks away and Lexie says to herself, "The one to blame for losing your dreams is Sami."

Kate walks up to Lexie and says, "I hate to pressure you, but his is taking a ridiculously long time."

"Not really," says Lexie, "I'll bet we can drag this out at least until the end of the week."

Sami comes out of the bedroom, takes Will aside and ask him to leave. He isn't going anywhere. "OK," says Sami, "But whatever happens, remember I have always wanted to do what is best for you."

"I am old enough to judge that," says Will.

Lexie asks Sami, "Do you want to tell everyone what you did, or should I?"

Kayla asks, "What do you mean, I am not your wife?"

"They declared me dead years ago," says Patch, "We aren't legally married."

"I can't let you go."

"I can't force it if it's not there," says Patch.

Kayla says, "I am trying to understand what this may be like for you. I have loved you practically all the Days Of Our Lives. I have never stopped. I never will. This isn't so surprising. It took a long time to get you to commit to marry me because you had issues about being tied down, so you haven't changed that much."

Patch asks, "Would the man you say I was fright for what he had?"

"Yes," says Kayla, "So why wouldn't you stay and try?"

"Here's the thing I don't get," says Patch, "Why would someone like you want to have anything to do with me?"

"There are a million reasons," says Kayla, "Please... let me try to help you remember."

"What do you have in mind," asks Patch.

"I think you have to trust me."

"All right, I'll try."

Jack thinks Frankie is being selfless. Frankie tells him this is where he belongs. Abby drags Jack back upstairs. She thanks Frankie as they leave.

"Abby just said it all, huh," says Jennifer, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me," says Frankie, "He's with people he loves and who love him."

Billie ponders, "If Hope is pregnant with Patrick's baby I might have a chance after all." She pauses, "Stop it Billie. The only woman for Bo is Hope."

The doctor tells Hope she can't say how far along her pregnancy is. She knows Hope has an irregular menstrual cycle. Usually they would date the conception from her last period, but they don't know when that was. She will schedule an ultrasound.

The doctor leaves and Hope asks to be alone. Bo leaves. Outside, he tells Billie they need to run more tests before they will know whose baby it is. Hope wonders, "How can this be happening?"

Sami announces, "This is my chance to tell you all the truth for once. Because it will all come out in the end."

"I am just as guilty," says Lexie, "So tell everyone what you have done."

"I am guilty of a lot of things," says Sami, "but this one is pretty bad. Austin, please don't hate me."

Dr. Tramp says, "The truth is... Sami has been blackmailing me."

"Why," asks Austin.

"It's complicated," says Sami.

Lexie apologizes to Will. But he needs to hear this. She turns to Sami, "Tell everyone exactly how you blackmailed me." FF Sami and Lexie.


Jennifer screams, "You can't leave us – not yet." Jack huffs and puffs.

Scremin' Mimi wails, "Stop it! You don't know what you're saying. You can't trust me at all, Shawn. I'm nothing but a fraud."

Kayla asks Patch, "What is it, you remember something?" Patch stares.

Sami says, "You can call it blackmail if you want to, Lexie, but you are the one who ruined your marriage and I am not going to take the blame for it." Lexie stands there open-jawed.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Patch's Tale

Abby is with Jack. She tells him she is glad he is back. He apologizes for what he has done to her. Jack writhes in pain. Abby offers him meds and he refuses. She says she knows something that will make him feel better and leaves.

Kayla tells Patch she will tell him everything he wants to know about his life. PatchNickSteve doesn't know where to start. Kayla does, "What happened the day you supposedly died?" He has a blurry flashback. She begs him to tell her what he remembers. He asks if she is sure. Yes.

Jennifer and Frankie talk about Jack. Frankie knows it has reopened emotions in Jack, "What does all this mean for us?"

"What do you want it to mean for us," asks Jennifer.

Lucas and Sami argue. Lucas is certain something is going on. He tells Austin, "The only reason she is so anxious is she has done something wrong. When you find out what it is you will kick her to the curb."

Hope tells Patrick they need to talk about their future. Bo looks on. Shawn rushes in, "I have a good idea what happened here." He turns to Bo, "This is all your fault."

Mimi asks if Shawn is sure he wants to get into this right now. Shawn is sure. He and Bo go outside. Shawn tells Bo to leave Hope alone.

Abby brings JJ in to see Jack. "Is that my little boy," asks Jack.

"No, it's my cabbage Patch doll."

Jack asks if JJ remembers him. JJ stands mute. Jack tells him how much he has missed him.

Frankie has always wanted for Jennifer to be happy. Jennifer knew he would say something wonderful like that. Frankie tells her he won't stand in her way if she wants Jack back. Jennifer apologizes for being so insensitive to Frankie. She tells him she meant every word of her vows, "I want to love and cherish you for all the Days Of Our Lives. I am your wife. I am." Kiss.

Patch says he can tell Kayla what he remembers, "Things come back in quick flashes. The first memory I have is waking up in this dirty motel room. Dizzy, disoriented, you know – normal. It was like a hangover. I was sick. I didn't know where I was. I didn't know who I was. I knew I'd been through something pretty rough and I was lucky to be alive.

Lucas continues with the verbal diarrhea, "Sami has a closet full of wedding dresses. The last time she wanted to elope it was because she had done something wrong. If she is willing to give up a big wedding she is up to something. She knows you will change your mind as soon as you find out what she has done."

Austin says, "You have no idea what she has done. This isn't fair. Don't make your issues mine."

"You don't believe she is hiding something major," asks Lucas.


"Then I just have to prove it," says Perry Mason." He makes a call, "Lexie this is Lucas. I need you to come to Sami's apartment to clear something up."

Jack bounces JJ and asks him for words of wisdom. JJ fusses. Abigail wants to know more about his disease. She wants to educate herself and maybe help him. "I know why you are here," says Abby, "God heard my prayers and sent you home."

Jennifer and Frankie. She tells him she feels a huge responsibility to Jack. She really needs to be there for him. Frankie understands. She asks him if it will be hard for him to play second fiddle to Jack through all of this. Frankie stares.

Hope asks Mimi to check on Bo and Shawn and make sure they aren't killing each other. After Mimi leaves, she asks Patrick what he and Bo were talking about. "We were talking about you," says Patrick, "Bo told me something but I'd like to hear it form you. He said you were getting back together. Is that true?"

Shawn and Bo argue. Bo tells Shawn maybe he will understand better after he has been married more than a couple of weeks. Shawn says, "What? You're screwing up your marriage and now you wanna be a smart ass about mine? Here you are lying to Mom over and over again."

"I hated lying to your mom," says Bo, "Zack's death destroyed both of us. I knew the truth would kill her. Giving Chelsea my car and lying to Hope about it are mistakes I will always regret. It was my responsibility to tell her the truth when I knew she was strong enough."

"Your tampering with the video is just another in a log list of betrayals," says Shawn.

"I had nothing to do with that," says Bo, "I love your mother and will do everything I can to get her back. It's good you are so protective of your mom, but I have lost my son and I could lose the woman I have loved all my life. I'm going through hell right now, Shawn. You might try to understand that."


Shawn says, "I know exactly how it feels to lose the love of your life. Believe me, I know how that feels. Take some advice and get along with your life without us."

Mimi, Phillip and Belle soak it all in. Mimi is tortured by Shawn's words. She gets up and runs out. Belle starts to go after her, but Phillip stops her. He looks in Shawn's direction and says, "You bastard, you are still in love with my wife."

Kayla asks Patch to tell her more. He has no idea how he wound up in the motel room. He found a wallet with $500 in it. The only other thing was a Nick Stockton ID. He had no memories, so he went to the address on the ID. It was in a rundown section of Cincinnati. The motel room looked upscale compared to this place. Someone ambushed him at the house.

Lucas says he had to leave a message for Lexie, but being a doctor she will no doubt check her messages soon. This gives Sami a little reprieve. Austin asks what Lexie has to do with this. Sami flashes back to her conversation with Lexie at the church – now it's Lexie's turn to ruin her life. Sami says she knows what is going on with Lucas. He is jumping to the wrong conclusion. She says they were fighting about Lexie cheating on Abe and that was all. She tells Austin she is lucky to have him. She thanks him for his trust.

Mimi runs into the storeroom crying and remembers Shawn's words. She storms out.

Phillip asks Belle, "Did you know?"

Belle insists, "He is upset and lashing out."

Phillip says, "He said the love of his life."

"We used to love each other," says Belle.

"He didn't say used to," says Phillip, "He is supposed to be in love with Mimi and not you. Judging by the way she ran out, I'm not sure she is committed to their marriage."

Shawn and Bo continue to argue. Shawn hopes Hope finds someone who can love her, "Patrick has been there for her since you went AWOL."

Patrick flashes back to making love with Hope. She asks what he is thinking about. "I was thinking about the wonderful night we spent together. I was wondering if it meant as much to you as it did to me."

Jennifer thanks Frankie for being understanding. Frankie hugs Jennifer and says, "You need anything, I am here. You know that, right?"

Abby takes JJ to his crib. Jack stays in his. He gets up and staggers to the window. He opens it, takes a breath of fresh air and sees Frankie and Jennifer down there. He goes back inside, stumbles to the bed and stares.

Patch doesn't know what happened next. He woke up in the hospital with a bunch of "bluecoats" standing over him. Flashback. The cop tells him he was lucky the neighbors called 911. They found his wallet but there was no money in it. He told the cops he couldn't remember anything. They asked him more questions and left. That was it. He had no idea who he was or what he did. After a while he stopped tormenting himself – he gave up watching DOOL. He tried to put together a life. The people at the hospital helped him, so he decided to go to work there.

Lucas says Austin may believe Sami but he isn't buying it. Sami insists he doesn't know her at all. He says he knows her better than she thinks he does. When they were trapped at Doom, Sami practically admitted Lexie had something on her. Sami says Lucas is twisting her words. Lucas keeps it up, "When you screw up, you don't lie. You fess up and ask for forgiveness. Tell us. What does she have on you?"

Austin opens the door. He believes Sami. He asks Lucas to go.

Bo... Brainchild... Blather... Bo insists he loves them all.

"Some more than others," says Shawn.

"You got that right," says Bo, "You, your mom and Zack. You are the family I have loved and wanted my whole life. But I have a hell of a lot to make up to Chelsea."

"No," says Shawn, "She has things to make up for. Not that she would try. When I got in trouble with the law you wanted me to pay. You were right. And now all you want to do is protect Chelsea. Actions speak louder than words. Your actions are not of love."

Bo says, "You don't understand the horrible position I am... my daughter killed my son. I had to help my wife make it through. Chelsea needed me too."

"You turned your back on the rest of your family," says Shawn.

"I don't know what to say," says Bo, "Maybe with time you'll understand."

"I don't have that any more," says Shawn, "I don't want anything to do with you ever again. Let's leave it at that."

"Live my life without you and your mom," asks Bo, "I won't do that."

"It's too late," says Shawn, "I have to go find Mimi."

He leaves and walks up to Phillip and Belle. He starts to ask if they know where Mimi is. If ever a look said 'shut up,' it's the one Phillip gives Shawn. Shawn stops in mid-sentence and continues his search.

"It's awful what's happening to his family," says Belle.

"It's going to be worse," says Phillip, "Mimi will leave him. He is still in love with you. When she breaks it off and he comes crawling back and begging you to be with him, what are you going to do?"

Shawn finds Mimi. She blubbers, "You want Belle? You can have her. I want a divorce!"

Hope tells Patrick their night of unbridled passion meant a lot to her. Bo comes in and asks if she feel better. Hope is civil. Dr. Stewart walks in. She says there is nothing wrong with Hope, "Wooziness... fatigue... these are all normal signs associated with pregnancy." A giant lead balloon crashes in the middle of the room.

Jack staggers downstairs. People get all over him to go back upstairs. He says he is leaving. He wants Patch to take him back to the hospice to die. Patch flashes his car keys to let Jack know he is on board with his decision.

Carrie tells Austin they will leave. Lucas apologies if he hurt Austin. He just didn't want to get burned again. As they go they bump into Dr. Slut. Lexie comes in and asks Lucas and Carrie to stay. She tells them, "I've been waiting a long time for this. You'll want to hear what I have to say."

Sami grimaces.


Jack asks, "What kind of a man would I be if I stick around for that?" Frankie asks, "What kind of a man would you be if you don't?"

Patch tells Kayla, "You're not my wife. Not anymore."

Lexie asks Sami, "Do you want to tell everyone what you did, or should I?" Kate soaks it in.

"Hope asks, "What if this baby isn't yours?" Bo says, "Then Lockhart's a dead man." He whirls around and sucker-punches Patrick. Billie and Hope babble and squeal.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Something Important To Consider

Prevuze readers old enough to remember when Doug and Julie were a hot ticket can also remember when the first VCRs came on the market. Along with this terrific new technology, which allowed us to go to work AND watch DOOL, came the first volley of panic from the empty suits who ran (and still run) the media companies. This assault came in the form of a lawsuit now known as the Betamax Case. In a nutshell, if the greedy corporate sleazebags had won, it would now be illegal to record television shows. Period. But they lost, and thus ended Media WWI.

Times have changed, but sleazebags haven't. We would never resort to name-calling, but today's brand of moronic corporate pus sacks have decided we shouldn't be able to record anything digitally. And, by the way, in the not-too-distant future, that's the only way we'll be able to get this content. In other words, all of us nostalgia buffs get to really go back to the seventies, before VCRs. And they are fighting Media WWII with nukes in the form of big money to your congress person and mine.

Under the new series of laws proposed by these avaricious Neanderthals, you will not be able to record digital TV, record music off of a digital radio or make a copy of the latest Trashmonkeys CD in case it melts in the sun. And every single Prevuze picture would be subject to a $10,000 fine. YIKES! There is a lot more to this, but our space and your time are too limited to go into it. Suffice it to say, they don't want more of your money... they want all of it.

"What," you may ask, "can I do? I'm just lil'-ole-me!" You have several options. You can support these laws thereby proving the sleazebags have kidnapped your last brain cell and are holding it hostage for its full value - zero. Or you can act like half the women of Salem and stand around blubbering and squealing while someone else dukes it out. The best course of action, however, would be to let your congress person know if s/he votes for this legislation you will use every ounce of your being to see to it that s/he is never even elected dog catcher again.

It's really simple. Visit the website and watch the little video for more information. Then click on the Audio Flag, Broadcast Flag and Analog Hole pictures at the right. Fill out the forms and the Electronic Frontier Foundation will automatically figure out who your senators and congress person are and notify them.

"That's too hhhaaarrrddd," Whines Belle.

OK. Let's make it even more simple:

Click here to oppose the Digital Transition Content Security Act (H.R. 4569)

Click here to oppose Broadcast Flag Legislation in Telecom Reform Bills

Click here to oppose Music Industry Over-Regulation of Digital Radio

It is very important to go to all three of the links above.

The well-known and respected Electronic Frontier Foundation is spearheading this effort. Well-regarded industry analysts Leo Laporte and John Dvorak have expressed pessimism about defeating this legislation. We need all the help we can get.

And ask your friends who care to visit this link to oppose these greedy dim bulbs.

Thank you. Now let's get back to the serious business of having some fun...

Friday, June 23, 2006

A Britney Spears Special With An Elvis Impersonator

A lab technician walks down the hall of the hospital whistling the DOOL theme song as he juggles Belle and Mimi's eggs. Suddenly, he trips and drops them. He looks down at the scrambled mess and says, "Aw, jeez... now, which was which..."

Bo runs into the hospital carrying Hope. They rush her into a room and put her on a bed. Bo asks Hope to squeeze his hand. The nurse can't figure out what might be wrong with her so she goes to get the doctor.

The feckless foursome comes back from the wedding. They decide to order pizza now that the reception is cancelled. I mean, it wouldn't have made sense to let the guests have the food at the reception anyway. The only reasonable thing to do was to have a garbage truck haul all of it away.

Lucas feels bad for Jennifer now that she has two husbands, "I guess there is a bright side for her, though," he says, "One of her husbands isn't me. Still, how is she supposed to deal with this?" Austin asks Sami if she is OK. Lucas insists this isn't about Sami. It's about two people coming back from the dead. Carrie asks how Sami heard about Abe and Lexie. Sami flashes back to her conversation with Lexie. She tells them she ran into Lexie and got an earful. Carrie was hoping to see a fairy tale wedding today. The boys assure the girls they will have their own fairy tale wedding.

Sami has a bright idea, "Why don't we all fly to Vegas tonight and elope?"

"We can't," says Austin, "That would break one of the cardinal rules of DOOL. It would actually move the plot along."

The Devereaux crowd arrives at Jack and Jennifer's house. Jack argues as they suggest he ought to go to the hospital. Patch takes him upstairs to bed.

Kayla assures Frankie things will be OK.

Jo tells Kayla she is sorry about Steve. Kayla understands he might think she is trying to push him into something. She's sorry about Jack. Jo is just glad he gets to say his goodbyes. Jo doesn't see how Jennifer can move on.

Jennifer and Patch drag Jack down the hall. Jack wants to see JJ. Jennifer will bring him home from the sitter, "I won't tell her about you being here, though. I don't want the whole neighborhood rushing over her to see the man who came back from the dead."

"Dead man stalking," says Jack.

Jennifer goes to get something for Jack to wear. Patch says, "I'd let you borrow some of my jimmies but I don't wear any." He takes Jack into the bedroom. They open the door to find the room all decked out and waiting for Frankie and Jennifer.

Max talks to Frankie. He wonders what will happen to Frankie and Jennifer now.

Hope wakes up. Bo tells her she passed out at the church. The nurse went to get the doctor, "If she can't find a doctor, I'm sure Lexie will be available." Patrick walks in. Bo blows a gasket.

Lexie rushes in and starts her exam. She kicks Bo and Patrick out and asks Hope, "Since when did you start traveling with a posse?"

"Since you made it fashionable," says Hope. Hope sits up and finds she is still dizzy. Her symptoms haven't gone away either.

Outside, Bo and Patrick argue. Bo says, "If you are really her friend you will get the hell out of her life."

Lucas' mouth is a runaway train headed straight for Sami. Austin wants to know if Sami is serious about eloping. He reminds her what happened the last time they tried it. Lucas thinks Sami is just panicked because she thinks something will go wrong. Austin tells him to leave her alone. Austin takes Sami aside. He thinks eloping isn't want she wanted. Sami tells Austin, "I know what I want, and what I want is to marry you. Please say yes."

Lexie examines. See Lexie examine. Examine Lexie, examine. She tells Hope this could be a virus, or not... what the hell does she know anyway. Hope says, "I am confused."

Lexie says, "Well, I'm glad something is normal, anyway." Hope tells Lexie Bo and her have been together since they were kids. She thought she knew him. A marriage is supposed to be based on love, trust and honesty. She wonders how it could just fall apart like this. Lexie drags out a dictionary to look up the words "trust" and "honesty."

Patrick insists he isn't going anywhere. Bo says, "Those feelings you have for Hope aren't reciprocal."

"How would you know," says Patrick, "Hope has barely spoken to you since she signed the divorce papers."

"Let me bring you up to date," sneers Bo, "We are working things out."

Max and Frankie argue. Max wonders how Jack feels about all of this.

Jack lies in the gay bed. Jennifer suggests Jack might want to stay in guest room instead. "Of course," says Jack, "What was I thinking?"

Dr. Patch gives Jack his meds. He says he would like a 'sody pop.' Abby takes him to the kitchen.

Jennifer tells Jack she prayed so hard he would be alive after the accident, "After you were gone, I would wake up and my pillow case would be soaked with tears. I begged God to bring you back to me and now you're here."

"And now I'm here," repeats Jack.

Austin isn't sure he wants to elope, I don't want a Britney Spears special with an Elvis impersonator acting as Justice of the Peace."

Sami begs. All her weddings end in disaster, "And look what happened today."

Carrie says, "Jack and Steve coming back isn't exactly something going wrong."

"It is if you're Frankie," says Sami.

Austin doesn't want to stress her. He just wants to think about her being his wife.

"So you'll elope with me," asks Sami.

"No," says Austin, "I won't."

Jo goes to call Vern. Abby and Patch come downstairs. Patch and Kayla have a staredown. She asks if he remembers something.

Abby tells Frankie Jennifer and Jack are in the bedroom alone. Max wants Frankie to check on her. Frankie says Jennifer is not legally his wife. He won't go up. They need some time alone. He says Jennifer will come down when she is ready.

Jack says he was just trying to protect Jennifer by not coming back after the accident. She asks if he drove off the bridge on purpose. No. She lectures him for pulling this stunt. He thinks it was a mistake to come back. Jennifer tells him his mistake was leaving in the first place, "What am I supposed to do now?"

"Let me die."

Lexie cries. She tells Hope she's sorry about being so unprofessional but her patients ought to be used to it by now. Hope insists she is her friend and wants to know what is wrong. Lexie says, "You said a marriage is built on love, trust and honesty and that's why mine is over. I've been having an affair with Tek Kramer. Abe knows about us and wants a divorce."

Hope asks, "Do you love Tek?"

"I love Abe," says Dr. Floozy, "But I betrayed him. It hurts so much."

"The same way Bo's betrayal hurt me," says Hope.

"But you have a choice," says Lexie, "You can work things out."

"How can I do that," asks Hope, "Bo's betrayal goes deeper than sex. He tampered with that evidence. I wish I didn't love him. How do I stop loving someone I've loved for over 20 years?" Hugs.

Bo and Hope's reconciliation is news to Patrick. He wonders if it would be news to Hope too. Bo tells him to get a life.

PatchNickSteve says he doesn't remember anything. He just thinks Kayla is so pretty. If he was married to her he was one lucky man. She tells him he is a lucky man.

Jo leaves. Patch says he gave up trying to find out about his past years ago, "But now that I'm here, all those questions are coming back... and I need answers."

Jack rationalizes. He wanted their memories of him to be the lovable little dolt he used to be. It was his pride that convinced him he didn't want to be seen this way. He still thinks getting Jennifer and Frankie together was a good thing. He knows Jennifer and Frankie love each other. He doesn't want to leave her or anyone else, "I'm afraid of dying. I'm afraid to even tell you that. It's not like I don't believe in God and heaven."

Jennifer says, "I know that there is a heaven where you and I will be together for all the Days Of Our Afterlives."

"I love you and I always will," says Jack, "I want you to do one thing for me. It will make these last days easier for me if I can see you happy. Today is your wedding day. And you are so beautiful in that dress. Frankie's a good man. Never forget me, but love him. Let him love you. Raise our children in a house full of that love. If you can do that then maybe I'll get... I won't be so scared. Maybe I'll find that peace that your grandma and grandpa Tom used to tell me about. Can you do that for me?"

"I will try my best," says Jennifer, "You must be so tired."

"Yeah," says Jack, "This dying stuff sure takes it out of you." She leaves him and tells him to get some rest.

Lexie and Hope hug. She asks if Hope wants to lose Bo. She wants her to forgive him the way she wants Abe to forgive her. Hope isn't sure. Lexie doesn't think Zack would want them to break up, "Unless this isn't about Zack..." She brings up Patrick. She asks Hope if she loves Patrick. Hope says he is wonderful, warm, loving and supportive. But she is leaving Bo because he betrayed her. Hope knows she can trust Patrick, but not Bo.

Patrick says if he was in Bo's position he would probably be threatening any man who got close to his wife. If Bo and Hope get back together Patrick says he will stay out of the way. He loves Hope enough to walk away if she wants Bo.

Bo's cell phone rings. He is immediately arrested for having his cell phone on inside the hospital.

Lexie comes out and tells Patrick he can go in and see Hope. Hope and Patrick stare at each other.

Austin says they will eliminate the stress of a wedding by hiring a wedding planner. Sami thinks they are too expensive. She thinks they should throw any extra money they have into the Austin Reed & Co. black hole. Austin wants to hold out for the wedding Sami dreams of. Carrie backs him up. Sami says good wedding planners are usually booked in advance and she wants to get married now.

Motormouth steps in, "What's really going on? Why are you in such a rush to marry Austin?"

Austin says, "I'm a hell of a catch – can you blame her?"

Lucas insists something is going on. He grills Sami. Carrie thinks they should go. Lucas stops her, "I know exactly why you're in such a rush. You wanna tell Austin or should I?"

Patrick sits down. Bo comes back and hears them talking. Hope is glad Patrick is there, "We need to talk – about our future."

Patrick says, "It does sound serious." Bo stares.

Abby goes into Jack's room. She tells him she is glad he is back. She brought "Peter Rabbit." He used to read it to her when she was sick. She vows his family will be there for him.

Kayla says she will tell Patch anything he wants to know. She has a question, though, "What really happened the day you supposedly died?"

Jennifer goes outside to see Frankie. He asks about Jack. Resting. Jennifer tells him she is sorry. He stops her and says he is happy Jack and Steve are alive. He wishes their timing had been better, though. He knows Jack doesn't have a lot of time. Him being here alive has to have reopened emotions in Jennifer, "I gotta ask... what does all this mean... for us?"


Triple FF... Jack, Jennifer, Frankie.


Lexie stands in Sami's apartment with Sami, Austin, Carrie and Lucas looking on. She tells them, "I've been waiting a long time for this. You'll want to hear what I have to say."

Bo yells, "I'm going through hell right now, Shawn. You might try to understand that." Shawn says, "I know exactly how it feels to lose the love of your life. Believe me, I know how that feels." Flash over to Mimi.

Frankie hugs Jennifer and says, "You need anything, I am here. You know that, right?" Jack hangs out the window and sighs.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

One Whacked Out Burg

Shawn, Mimi, Phillip and Belle are on their field trip to the hospital. Shawn thinks Frankie and Jennifer will understand why they weren't at the wedding.

Phillip asks, "So who's ready to harvest some eggs?"

They are all ready to partake in a miracle of modern medicine. Mimi asks, "Do you know what would be a real miracle of modern medicine? If these two guys could have the kids instead of us."

"And," says Phillip, "if the four of us could get working brains."

"I hope it works for me this time," says Mimi, "The last thing I need is for Shawn to have another baby with another woman again." The weak little bulb in her brain just grows dimmer by the minute.

Shawn asks, "What are you talking about?"

Mimi bangs herself in the head with her purse. The bulb goes out.

Lucas assures everyone Carrie is OK. Just a little morning sickness. Carrie is worried about 'showing' at her own wedding. Lucas wants the wedding to go smooth, not like this one where dead people keep barging in. Austin thinks they both have had some strange weddings. Lucas wonders why Austin changed his mind about Sami.

Lexie confronts Sami. Sami swears she didn't do anything. Lexie accuses her and Sami denies writing the note. Now it's Lexie's turn to ruin Sami's life, "Payback's a bitch, isn't it."

Jack tells Jennifer he loves her. She doesn't want him to die alone. He tells her he isn't there by himself. He came with Steve. Jo can't believe it. Both of her sons have come back to her. It's raining cats, dogs and dead people.

The brat says, "This is all my fault."

Everyone wonders where Kayla is. Actually, she's out working on Steve, trying to get him to stay. Steve doesn't want to. Kayla plants a big kiss on him.

The wedding crowd mills around. Abby hugs the brat, "I'm so glad my dad is back."

The brat tells her about the crank call this morning and apologizes for not saying anything. Abby asks, "Chelsea, How could you not tell me?"

Jack fills people in on the hospital thing. He tells them about the DNA tests, and that Steve has no memory. OMB wonders if Kayla might have seen Steve outside.

Patch pulls away. The kiss was good and he went with it, but still doesn't remember. He doesn't know how any man could forget a woman like her. Neither one of them has a clue what happened to him. Patch says, "I can't give you false hope that things are ever gonna be the way they used to be."

Shawn wonders what Mimi is talking about. She stammers and says he will have to try to make a baby with another surrogate if this doesn't work. Dr. Randall Jaynes comes in and borrows the wives.

Austin insists people can change. He thinks Lucas has. He asks him to give Sami a break. He insists he will have kids and a life with Sami.

"You think Sami the schemer has transformed into Sami the saint," asks Lucas, "I feel sorry for you. I hope your wedding doesn't blow up like last time.

Lexie rants. Sami has ruined her life. Never mind that she is the one who slept with Tek. Sami swears she didn't tell Abe. Lexie says it doesn't matter because now she is free to tell Carrie the truth. Sami says the truth won't come out. She will make sure Lexie doesn't tell anyone anything.

Lexie tells her to knock off the empty threats. Even Sami's daddy won't be able to save her once this comes out. Will won't give her a second chance either. No one will forgive her for playing God with Carrie's life.

Patch and Kayla have the same conversation they had before. He insists he isn't a family man. He only came back here to help Jack. He wonders how they could make something out of this if he doesn't remember anything. Kayla says the kiss told her everything she needs to know. He is the love of her life.

Jo rushes up and hugs him. Half the wedding party follows. Jo is disappointed Patch doesn't recognize her. Patch apologizes for breaking up the wedding. He recognizes Jennifer and Abby from the pictures in the locket. Introductions all around. Frankie tells him if it weren't for him, Max and he wouldn't have a family. He used to call them Franklin and Maxwell.

"And I was Beauregard," says Bo, "We've known each other since the merchant marine. We had some difficult times but ended up being best friends. We've all missed you."

Hope tells him she's Bo's wife, choking as she says "wife." She promises he will feel their love in time. He says she has no idea what he feels like. "Actually," says Hope, "I do, and I did once find the way back to the man I love. It was almost destiny."

Patch turns to Jack, "Man this is one whacked out burg you live in here."

Jennifer and Kayla go off together and talk about what has happened. Jennifer says they have to live for the moment now. Kayla worries Patch won't want her. Jennifer tells her to ask Steve about his past.

Austin wants to know what Lucas is up to. Lucas just thinks Austin should watch his back. With Sami there is always a twist. He reminds him about the paternity mix-up over Will. Lucas says he wants both Austin and Sami both to be happy but it may not be possible as a couple. He points out the way she looks at EJ. Austin says, "She's not dead. She can look."

Lucas asks, "If Carrie didn't pick me, would you even consider making Sami your wife?"

Lexie says Sami has an infant mentality. She has destroyed lives. Now it's Sami's turn to have her life destroyed.

Phillip paces. He wonders what is taking so long, "My God, it's been five minutes." There were a few years when Phillip was terrified he would get a girl pregnant. Now he is worried that won't happen.

Shawn asks, "Wouldn't it be weird if out of the four of us, Belle and I were the only ones who could make babies?"

Belle and Mimi have been harvested together. Oh the bonding! Think of the mix-ups that will be possible. Belle is hoping PPD won't hit her again. Mimi encourages her. Belle stares.

Jo tells Patch she gave him up for adoption when he was little. She did it so he could have a better life. He was grown when she found him and he didn't know her then either. She vows never to lose him again.

Kayla wonders if Patch loves someone else. Jennifer says Steve was the great love of Kayla's life, just like Jack is hers.

Jack tells Frankie he would have stayed away if he had known today was the wedding. Frankie tells him to stop. He's glad Jack is back. Jack thanks him for taking care of his family. He hopes this little detour doesn't change his mind. Frankie doesn't know what to say. Jack has a spell. He doesn't want his family to see him like this.

Hope wanders. She sits down and Bo hands her a rose. Roses were in her wedding bouquet. She remembers. He thinks what she said to Steve was touching. He asks if she believes that. She believed it then, but doesn't know what to believe now.

Bo says, "Our love brought you back to me. It gave us Shawn and Zack and every good thing that has happened for all the Days Of Our Lives."

Hope flashes back to their wedding. She gives him her life and love for eternity. Except for a few unfortunate detours. Bo pledges his troth. Same sappy dialogue, different wedding.

Bo asks for another chance. Hope stares.

Lexie tells Sami she has had this coming for years. Sami reminds her she is a doctor and should have compassion. Lexie claims she does, for patients and stray dogs (Tek being in the latter category), but not for someone who has done what Sami has done. No one will ever forgive her.

Frankie runs up and tells Lexie Jack needs her.

Austin says he loves Carrie and wants her to be happy. If that means having her marry Lucas, that is OK with him. But then he says, "If Carrie chose me... boom. I'd ask her to marry me. And then she'd be pregnant with my baby right now." Sami listens in the background.

Shawn insists Mimi is his future. He can handle it if they have to adopt. Even if the IVF works out, they would still like to adopt some day.

Dr. Jaynes comes into the girls' room with news. Mimi asks if things went well. The grim doctor says, "I'm afraid there was a complication."

The boys knock and ask if they can come in. The doctor says he knows they are all close so they can share the news. HIPA regulations be damned. "First of all," he says, "we got a wad of eggs from Belle big enough to repopulate Chernobyl, but we only got one egg from Mimi." He cautions Mimi to be patient.

The doctor leaves. Mimi whines, "Why can't I be lucky like Belle?"

Sami listens as Lucas laments the fact that they can't clone Carrie, even though that would be a cruel trick to play on the rest of the world. He doesn't think Sami will ever make Austin happy. Lucas leaves to get back to Carrie. Sami bawls.

Lexie tends to Jack as his family supports him. Lexie wants him to go to the hospital. Jack swears he will never go to the hospital again. He wants to go home. Jennifer says that's OK if that's what Jack wants. Abby wants more than that. She wants him to get better. She wants miracles. Jack says it's a miracle that they are together.

Patch says he will go with them. Kayla offers to come too, but Patch says no.

They leave. Frankie sits with Kayla, "It looks like nobody gets a happy ending," she says.

"Chernobyl does," says Frankie.

Hope sniffs the rose. She says flowers are delicate but they survive all kinds of storms. Her eyes roll back into her head and she faints. Bo picks her up, "Fancy Face?" He tells her the legend of the woman and the rose. She had never heard of this newfangled thing called birth control and got pregnant on a one night stand.


FF on the rose and Hope's limp hand.


Sami tells Austin, "I know what I want, and what I want is to marry you. Please say yes."

Patch tells Kayla, "Now that I'm here, all those questions are coming back... and I need answers."

Frankie says to Jennifer, "I gotta ask... what does all this mean... for us?"

Hope lies in bed and says, "We need to talk – about our future." Patrick says, "It does sound serious." Pan in on Bo.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Abs Of Steel, Spine Of Jelly

Belle fusses with Claire as Shawn asks if she is ready to go. Frankie and Jen will understand that they missed the wedding but not the reception. She hands Claire off to Shawn who, relates to her. Same mental level. Belle smiles as Shawn talks baby talk.

Mimi bawls, "Shawn and I are never going to have a baby. I'll lose him. When he leaves me Belle will leave you and it will be all my fault."

Phillip insists, "I'm not gonna let that happen."

Steve holds the unconscious Kayla in his arms. Kayla comes to, "Steve... It can't be. You're not really here. You're dead."

"I'm not dead," says Steve.

"You died in my arms," says Kayla, "You're buried right over there."

"I don't know about any of that," says Steve, "You're Kayla, right?"

"Do I look that different," she asks, "Don't you know me?"

"No I'm afraid I don't."

The crowd cheers as Frankie and Jennifer kiss. Jack walks in.

"Jack! ," yells Jennifer. The crowd gasps. Jack stumbles down the aisle. "It can't be," says Jennifer.

Abby runs up and hugs him, "I knew you were alive. I kept telling Mom she should be faithful to you."

"What is going on," yells Jennifer. The crowd sits stunned as Jack staggers toward her. Jack figures things out, "This is your wedding."

"Yes," says Frankie.

"I came in to light a candle and say a prayer," says Jack, "I had no idea, Jennifer." Jennifer faints into Frankie's arms.

Kayla wants to know why Patch doesn't know her. He tells her he has no memory of Steven Johnson. She tells him Stephanie is all grown up. He insists it's not possible that he could be that guy. He is Nick Stockton. He tells her about Jack discovering him, "Jack Devereaux... Do you know him?"

"Jack," gasps Kayla, "Jack's alive?"

Jack asks if Jennifer is all right. Jennifer lectures, "What are you doing standing there? Your car slid off that bridge! They told us no one could have survived that."

"I guess I'm not just anyone," says Jack, "I remember the car in the water. I remember being pulled from the car by some fisherman."

"No," says Jennifer, "That can't be. They contacted every boat on the river that night."

"They must not have contacted the Pearl Fisher," says Jack, "because they said I was the catch of the day. You know, I came back to the house several times to check on you. Even at Christmas."

Jennifer goes off the deep edge, "You came to our home on Christmas and let me believe you were dead!"

The tiresome foursome decides to give them some privacy. They all leave the sanctuary. Lexie follows, "You are going to pay, bitch." Abe follows Dr. Floozy.

Abby tells Jack she said all along he was alive and they belong together. Jack says, "Jennifer doesn’t belong with me any more."

Phillip offers Mimi water. She knows Shawn loves her but she knows how much he wants kids. Phillip tells her she can adopt. She isn't sure Shawn is really OK with that. She speculates about a suddenly single Shawn and Belle. Phillip insists Belle is his wife, Claire is their baby and that cements the relationship.

Mimi thinks, "If she ever finds out Claire is Shawn's baby..." Then she asks, "Are you really sure Belle wouldn't take the easy way out."

"She won't leave me," says Phillip, "I'm gonna make sure of that now." He punches a number into his cell phone, "Hello... This is Phillip Kiriakis. I know what you're thinking..."

Belle is impressed how Shawn calmed Claire down. Shawn can't wait to be a dad. He wants to head out for the reception. Belle insists they can't walk in on the wedding because none of them is dead. She tells him she wishes Phillip and she would have solidified their marriage more before having kids, "Having a baby changes everything in a relationship. You can't imagine how stressful it can be. It was just awful. The world actually stopped revolving around me."

"Mimi and I have some idea of what to expect," says Shawn, "Going through her non-pregnancy has been stressful. She's really beating herself up over the abortion, and given my year with my family, we'd really like to move on with a kid. We want to be like you and Phillip and like my parents used to be."

Belle rambles, "When two people love each other and nothing is gonna come between them, then nothing can keep them apart in the end, right?"

Sami wants to get out of there right away. She asks where the limo is. Lucas says he sent Alice and Will home in the limo. Sami is restless. Austin wants to know what is going on. Everyone gangs up on her. Sami says, "I guess you will find out soon enough anyway. Lexie and Abe's marriage is over. Abe caught Lexie and Tek and bed together. They are getting divorced."

"That's awful," says Carrie.

Lucas sneers, "Since when do you care?"

Sami says, "Abe has practically been an uncle to us. He won't forgive Lexie now. What kind of lies do you suppose she will tell now? No one can trust anything she says now."

Austin touches her chin, "I think I know what's really going on here."

Tek comes up to Lexie. She freaks because he followed her. She claims she will feel better when she tells the world about Sami. But she can't blab now because Jack is still dying and needs her, "I might as well use my medical license while I still have it."

Abe comes up to them, "You two can't stay away from each other, not even in a house of God. He clinches his fist.

Bo says, "Jack is proof that miracles do happen. Us getting together is also possible. Let's go talk."

"We can't leave now," says Hope, "They will need us."

As Bo and Hope go to sit down, the brat says, "Why don't you two just shut up and get divorced already?"

Max thinks this is one of the worst things that could have happened. The brat thinks it is the best possible thing for Abby, "If the Bensons came back... I mean... she's just lucky. Most people don't get to experience this type of miracle over and over again."

Abby sets Jack straight, "Daddy, you're confused. Of course Mom belongs with you."

"No," says Jack, "This is why I stayed away, so your mom and Frankie would marry. I'm still gonna die. I only have a couple of days left."

"DOOL days or regular days," asks Abby.

"DOOL days," says Jack.

"You've got plenty of time, then," says Abby.

Jack says, "I just came back to say goodbye to the people I love."

Kayla is shocked, "Jack's alive?"

"Not for long," says Patch, "He's still terminal. The doctor and I tried everything to convince him to come back to his family. He didn't want them to have to mourn again. Then he found out I was his brother and decided I should reconnect. I thought you were in LA, so finding you was the last thing I expected. I told him I wouldn't come unless he came with me. Jack showed me a picture of you. I said, 'What a beautiful woman,' but that was it. I don't know you."

"I cannot believe this."

"So uh, these Brady's," says Patch, "They're your family?"

"And they love you and I love you," says Kayla, "I know this sounds trite but when you died a huge part of me died too. I have never moved on. I kept dreaming you would come back. It's crazy. And now Jack is back but Jennifer has married Frankie."

"That might not be an issue," says Steve, "Jack isn't doing so well. He came back to say goodbye."

Kayla says, "That's not fair for Jennifer to lose him again. I'm not gonna do that. I won't let you go." She throws herself at him.

Steve backs off, shakes his head and says, "It's not gonna work." Baaawwwlll.

Sami claims she is upset for Lexie. Austin thinks there is more to it. Lucas continues to be a jerk. Austin tells him to shut up. Austin tells Sami he knows she is concerned about Theo and Jennifer; and she is still not over her parents divorce. Sami is so glad he knows her so well.

Belle says her parent's love brought them back together. That's what she meant when she was babbling.

Phillip says he called Dr. Jaynes. He has a magic procedure while can harvest eggs better than Dr. Ross. Mimi doesn't know how to thank Phillip. Phillip says, "I was born into a lot of money and I like to share it. I just would never want to use it for something frivolous like better housing for my family. You'll find out soon enough having a baby with the one you love is the ultimate bond."

Mimi thinks maybe Dr. Jaynes can help Phillip, too.

Phillip says, "Yeah, apparently there is a procedure where they take one sperm and inject it into an egg. Maybe Claire will have a little brother or sister."

Mimi says, "Phillip... there is a problem."

Kayla asks, "You don't want me?"

"I don't know you," says Patch.

Kayla pulls out her billfold and shows him pictures. She insists they are a family. Patch thinks this is a lot to have to adjust to. He doesn't know if he wants this. He doesn't want to hurt her or anyone else. But what if he never remembers anything. Kayla says they will help him. "What if this new life is a life I don't want," he asks.

Abe sneers, "I'm only speaking the truth. That's something neither of you is very familiar with." He turns to Tek, "I can't fire you for having an affair with my wife, but if you do one thing wrong on the job I can and will. Don't you even think of touching her again or you'll be a dead man."

Hope can't believe Jennifer will lose Jack again.

Max transitions from Jack's problems to his own, "I want to be with a woman who only wants to be with one man and his groupies."

Jo thinks God wouldn't bring her son to her just to take him away. Abby insists they will find Jack a specialist. He thinks there is nothing anyone can do. He wants them to move on, "You were moving on and I walked back in. Now, if I stay, all you can do is watch me die. I'm glad you and Frankie got married. My plan actually worked! I mean... you did finish the ceremony, didn't you? I didn't walk in too soon did I?"

"No," says Jennifer, "We are husband and wife and husband."

The great barrister steps in. "Our marriage is null and void," says Frankie.

Jack sighs, "Well, I guess I always did have lousy timing."


Phillip asks, "What do you mean there is still a problem?"

Mimi whines, "Lexie said I can't carry the baby to term. And after the disaster we had with the last surrogate..."

Phillip says, "After we met Holly, I realized there was a need for top of the line surrogates in Salem. So I got the Kiriakis family involved. We set up a program." He calls up a picture on his cell phone, "And there she is... you are looking at the ideal candidate. She doesn't smoke, doesn't drink and she's on call to meet with you and Shawn."

Mimi is elated, "I don't deserve this."

"Yes," says Phillip, "You and Shawn both do. Why shouldn't I do everything in my power to help you?"

"It's just so much."

"You deserve to be as happy as Belle and I are," says Phillip.

Shawn thinks things should be good between Belle and Phillip. They wouldn't bring a baby into the world without being sure. Shawn says he and Mimi are just like Phillip and Belle – they can't wait to have a kid.

Carrie confides in Austin, "Things with Lucas and me are too rushed. It's not that I am not happy. It's just that Lucas is such a jerk. I don't want Sami to get her heart broken again. Do you really love her?" Austin insists he does. "But she's not the love of your life," says Carrie.

Lucas thinks maybe Sami is nervous about her own wedding. He delights in detailing her catastrophic wedding history. She insists things will work out.

Belle has to get Claire down to the babysitter. Phillip and Mimi come in. Phillip announces they are going to the hospital instead of the wedding reception. Soon the baby factories of Salem will all be back in business. Mimi tells Shawn he won't believe what Phillip has done for them.

Austin tells Carrie, "You chose Lucas over me. I had to accept that. This is what you wanted, right?"

Carrie sighs, "Yeah. You do love Sami, don't you?"

"Yes," says Austin, "Just in a different way."

Lucas accuses Sami of being defensive and desperate. Sami insists he doesn't know anything about her. She walks off and says, "All of our lives will be destroyed if I can't keep Lexie's big mouth shut. She goes over and sits beside Austin.

Abe tells Tek to get out and stay away from Lexie. Tek takes a hike. Abe turns to Lexie, "You know your boyfriend may have abs of steel, but he has a spine of jelly. You have nobody to blame but yourself. You will hear from my lawyer."

Hope has to stay for Jennifer and Jack. Bo insists they need each other.

Jennifer wants Jack to stay with them. She thinks he really wants that, too, or he wouldn't have come back.

Jack says, "That's not the only reason I came back. I came with someone. Jo, I should have told you this before, but I came with Steve." Jo freaks. Jack says, "He's alive and well and right out there."

Kayla asks Patch how he knows this isn't the life he wants if he doesn't remember it.

"How do I know it is the life I want if I don't remember it," says Patch.

She pulls him in and kisses him.


Patch says, "I can't give you false hope that things are ever gonna be the way they used to be."

Austin says to Lucas, "If Carrie chose me... boom. I'd ask her to marry me. And then she'd be pregnant with my baby right now." Sami watches in the background.

Mimi lies in a hospital bed and asks, "Why can't I be lucky like Belle?"

Hope sniffs a rose and faints. Bo picks her up, "Fancy Face?"

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