Monday, January 02, 2006

Oh My God, Zach!

Austin takes Carrie to the roof.

"Ooh," says Lucas, "Did you see that? Sami just went out the fire escape to check on Carrie and Austin on the rooftop."

Eugenia swills Champagne, "Lucas, who cares what Sami does."

"You're right," he says, "I'll just let her make a jackass out of herself."

"If Sami and I were friends," says Eugenia, "I'd tell her not to sweat it, because Austin doesn't stand a chance with Carrie. The minute she finds out he's taken over her company, he's dead meat."

"Right you are my wise friend. My big brother's going to be a big loser and I'm going to have Carrie all to myself," says Lucas. He dances around like Jerry Lewis on speed.

Nicole comes home, "This is so Sami. I work my butt off for this company and she has a party and doesn't even invite me. If she thinks she's going to get Austin, she's in for the shock of her life."

Sami climbs the ladder and spies. Austin toasts Carrie in their rooftop rendezvous, "May all of your dreams come true in this new year."

"One of them already has," says Carrie, "You and me together after all this time."

Sami sticks her finger down her throat. This somehow activates a reflex down in her ankles, which causes her to do a dying swan off the ladder.

Jailbird Alex conducts his own Riot in Cell Block Nine as the Blues Brothers wail in the background...

Our warden said Come out with your hands up in the air
If you don't stop this riot you're all gonna get the chair
And Scarface North said It's too late to quit
Pass the dynamite, don't you give me any...


He screams, "THERE'S A PSYCHPATH IN HER PENTHOUSE! YOU'VE GOT TO GET SOMEBODY OVER THERE NOW!"

Marlena goes to bed. The stalker stalks. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Marlena sleeps. The Salem Scissors Slaughterer stands outside Marlena's door.

Phillip wants to know what's going on. Lexie tells him Claire has had an arrhythmia. "Lexie," says Phillip, "Tell me the truth. Is this the beginning of the end for her?" Lexie stares.

Kate tells Victor he's doing the right thing by keeping the secret about Shawn being Claire's father. "Don't thank me," he snorts, "I only said I wouldn't tell now."

Shawn doesn't have anything else to do, so he asks Mimi to marry him. Mimi, for once, is speechless. "A good answer would be 'yes,'" says Shawn.

Poor Hope tells Bo they are so blessed. She decides to call again and check on Zach. Bo assures her Zach will be OK. "Besides," says Bo, "It's late, and you wouldn't want to wake everybody up. We don't have anything to worry about..."

Fade to poor Zach chasing the kitty. Chelsea drives and parties. She dials her cell phone. Zach stands like a deer staring into the headlights.

Chelsea hits something, "What was that? OMG! Scream!" Poor Zach lies crushed. The kitty meows.

Victor says, "Look at them. Bo and Hope are Claire's grandparents and they don’t even know it. You're playing God, Kate."

Kate takes offense, "What do you mean playing? You made a promise and I'm holding you to it."

Mimi is silent. Shawn is confused, which doesn’t say much. Mimi stammers around. She says she is shocked. "Uh, a good kind of shock," asks Shawn.

"Of course I want to marry you," says Mimi, "And I want to shout it from the rooftops."

"I don’t' think we should do that," says Shawn, "I think we should make this our little secret."

Mimi's smile fades. That Shawn has such a way with words.

Lexie tells Belle and Phillip, "As your doctor and as your friend, I have to tell you the time has come for you to sign the papers to remove Claire from life support."

Belle goes over and holds Claire's IV tube. Apparently, she decides not to yank it, "NO! I'm not signing anything. I know there will be a miracle." Phillip agonizes.

Lois stalks. She enters Marlena's room. Marlena bolts up in bed.

Sami works her way back up the ladder, "Man, that was close." She spies on Austin and Carrie, "Enjoy your little stroll down memory lane, because your world is going to come crashing down."

Austin and Carrie chat about memories. What a perfect opportunity for a flashback. New Year's Eve past. Back to the rooftop. They dance. Austin hasn't been too excited about the new year, but now he thinks it has possibilities. If you got a new TV remote for Christmas, this would be a good time to see if it works. ZAP...

Peeping Sami thinks, "The new year isn't going to be quite as fantastic as you think."

Lucas toasts his big brother, "He doesn’t know it, but he's about to lose Carrie to me."

Nicole joins the party. "You're late, Nicole," says Lucas.

"For what," she growls, "The party my roommate forgot to invite me to? Sami only forgets what she wants to forget. This is so typical. Everyone gets to party hardy while I do the heavy lifting. I don't think so. Austin better have a damn good reason for why he didn't tell me about this."

"What do you care," asks Lucas, "I thought you hated us all."

"If I drink enough of this stuff, I don't care who I party with," says Nicole, "Where is Austin, anyway."

"He's up on the roof."

"With Sami?"

"No," says Lucas, "With Carrie."

Nicole has a panic attack, "This is not going to happen. Neither one of the Brady sisters is going to get Austin."

Lois hides in the shadows as Marlena turns on the light. She calls the hospital to check on Claire. They give her the bad news. She asks to speak to John. He picks up the phone and confirms it, "Things aren't looking good." Marlena says she will come right over but he says it's not necessary. She tells him Alex called. John assures her, "Don't worry, I'll call the jail and have him muzzled. I'll stick it out here at the hospital and call you if there is any change."

"John... tell Belle I love her and I'm praying for both of them."

Lois contemplates the deadly pinking shears.

The nurse tells Bo there is a call for him. He goes to take it. Hope thinks, "Bo is right, everything is going to be fine."

Bo takes the call. It's the little scum brat, "Dad, something terrible has happened. I need you right away. It's the car. You'd better come look for yourself."

"Did you have an accident."

"Not exactly," says the brat, "I don't really know what happened. The car isn't running right. Dad, it wasn't my fault. I swear. I'm at the corner of Park and Elm."

"That's your regular corner, isn't it," asks Bo, "You just sit tight. I'll be right there."

Bo hangs up. Hope asks what's up. "It's Chelsea," says Bo, "She needs a lift."

"I know it's an inconvenience having to drive her everywhere," says Hope, "But I'm glad she's not behind the wheel of a car tonight. The last thing we need is for her to have another accident, right?"

"Yeah," says Bo, as he reaches into the depths of his stupidity and remembers loaning Chelsea the car. He tells Hope he won't be long.

Shawn tells Mimi they shouldn't be announcing their engagement because of Claire.

"You're right," says Mimi, "We shouldn't be flaunting our happiness."

Belle plays with the toys in her attic, "You – are – my – sun – shine... please – don't – take – my – sun – shine – away..."

Phillip comes up behind her, "We can't let her suffer."

Belle lashes out, "She's not suffering. She's sleeping peacefully. She is my daughter and I'm not giving up on her, and you shouldn't either."

Shawn butts in, " Belle's right. You shouldn't give up."

John is on the phone with Tek, "He's pretty worked up, John. North insists she is in danger."

"If you believe that," says John, "Why don't you vote for him at the academy awards? I talked to Marlena and she is fine. North is a psychopath. I want you to throw his butt in Maximum for the night. You got that?"

"You're the boss," says Tek, "Maximum security it is."

Alex paces, "What is taking them so long? If they don't do something to protect Marlena, her death will be on their hands." Tek listens and stares.

Marlena goes back to sleep. Lois stalks.

Nicole mixes a drink. Lucas tells her she might want to slow down a bit. Nicole insists she's just trying to catch up with Eugenia. "Can I help it if I like my bubbly," asks Eugenia.

"Apparently not," snipes Nicole, "Where is Sami, anyway?"

"She's on the rooftop trying to break up Carrie and Austin," says Lucas.

"Good," says Nicole, "Maybe she'll fall off. Anyway, I'm ready to celebrate our success."

"What kind of success," asks Lucas.

"Wouldn't you like to know," asks Nicole, "Maybe I can clue you in just a bit. I have closed a deal. One that you and Victor would like to have. And once Austin finds out I have put this baby to bed, he will be very, very grateful. It's a big deal Lucas, B-I-G."

"Wow," says Lucas, "It sounds like an acquisition or something. I wonder how the CEO will feel about that. I wonder if he'll put up a fight."

"It's not a he, it's a she," slurs Nicole, "Some dippy woman came outta nowhere and doesn't know what she is doing. But once Austin and I take over she'll be out on her derriere 'toot-sweet.'"

"Wow," says Lucas, "Sounds like somebody is in for a real big surprise."

Carrie talks about Austin's living arrangements. He assures her he will be moving out. His company is taking off and he's putting down roots. He asks if she will be moving back to Salem. She says no. Running her company gives her satisfaction. But she wants to settle down someday, though.

"With you and Austin," thinks Sami, "that's not going to happen."

More small talk. Settling down. Having children. Finding the right man. Not necessarily in that order. Mike. Blah, blah, blah. Will's not his son. She's beautiful... the inevitable kiss. Sami the chaperone climbs the ladder and breaks it up, "HOLD IT... YOU TWO..."

Lois lurks.

Alex is incensed. He can't believe they aren't going to check things out at the penthouse. Tek leaves instructions for the guard to throw Alex in solitary. Tek leaves. Alex continues his rant as the guard opens the door. Alex slugs him and runs out as one of Salem's finest lies broken and bleeding on the floor.

Bo comes to Chelsea's rescue. She tells him her side of the story, "I was driving and I hit something back there and then I ran over the curb. I wasn't speeding – I swear to God. But now the car's not steering right."

"You did the right thing by calling me," says Doh.

"But I damaged your car and who knows how much it will cost to fix it and if I lose my license...," says the little lunatic.

Bo tries to calm her down, "Take it easy."

"I need your help, Dad, wahwahwah!"

Hope and John talk about Claire. John senses something else is bothering her. "Zach is having a sleepover tonight and I feel like I really need to be with him. Could you do me a favor... tell Bo I went to pick him up and I'll see him at home." John promises.

Victor tells Kate he doesn't like this, "Bo and Hope should be here for their granddaughter."

Belle and Phillip have a spat about taking Claire off life support. Belle asks Shawn, "What do you think?"

Shawn hesitates, "Me... think?"

Top Cop lies on the floor with a headache. Tek paces as he talks on the phone, "Brace yourself, John, Alex North has escaped." John drops the phone and squints like Mr. Magoo.

Sami claims she was out on the fire escape, heard them talking and has climbed up to ask them to come back to the party. Sami is freezing. Sir Walter Raleigh takes off his coat and wraps Carrie. They all decide to go back. Austin and Carrie take the stairs. Sami hangs back and says, "It won't be long now, Sis, until Austin is just a memory to you."

Nicole rambles, "Now don't blab this to the Wall Street Journal, Lucas, but this CEO is going to wake up tomorrow and find out she is out of a job. And my boss is going to wake up a big wiener." Lucas asks how she kept this a secret. "It's called flying under the radar," says Nicole, as she fills another martini bucket.

The rooftop crew comes in. Nicole staggers around and chastises them for not inviting her. They are all oh-so-curious to find out what Lucas was talking about when they came in. Lucas stares.

Alex is on the lam. He runs through the penthouse as Lois stalks her prey. John has arrived at the penthouse. He looks upstairs and says, "Oh, God, NO!" He points his gun.

Sami asks, "So, Lucas, what's your surprise."

"I don't know," says Lucas, "Nicole – you tell me. You said this was going to be Austin's year, right?"

Nicole walks over to Austin and tells him Highstyle is theirs, "Yep, you can thank me later."

Sami tells Carrie it looks like she and Austin are getting closer. She insists she doesn't have a problem with that. Hugs, as Sami throws a steely-eyed glance to no one in particular.

Lucas tells Eugenia if Austin lets Carrie down, hell be there for her, "I'm better for her than Austin is. She'll figure that out all by herself."

Shawn says, "If there is any chance at all, no matter how small, you have to cling to it. Miracles happen. As long as she's not in any pain, just keep her on the life support." Phillip decides they will wait.

"It's your decision," quacks Lexie.

Kate and Victor watch. Kate says, "This is pure torture. You can't make it worse by telling the truth."

Lois raises the scissors. Downstairs, John yells, "NORTH, WAIT!"

"NO," screams Alex, "I have to get to Marlena before it's too late."

John fires. Alex crumples. Marlena wakes up and gasps. The scissors hang over her head like the Sword of Damocles.

Bo checks out the car. He thinks it is out of alignment, "It's not a major fix. You're not gonna lose your license over this."

Chelsea cries, "I'm so lucky to have you as my dad."

Bo hugs her, "Come here. It's gonna be OK."

No it isn't.

Hope rushes toward the house. She discovers a shoe and Zach's cup lying in the road. She bends down. She sobs, "Oh my God, Zach!"


Previews
========

John says to Marlena, "You've got nothin' more to fear. Alex North is dead."

Chelsea cries, "It's the cops. Dad, what am I gonna do?" Bo shushes her.

Kate tells Phillip, "I need to talk to you." Phillip says, "Now is not the best time, Mom." Kate says, "You need to prepare yourself, because I have some pretty devastating news."

They wheel Zach into emergency surgery as Hope wails, "OMG! I CAN'T LOSE MY BABY!" Shawn restrains her.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Despite the impending tragedy, today's Prevuze was a classic all the way. The pictures were a hoot, especially the one about Billie.

I can just imagine Lucas as Jerry Lewis on speed.....not a pretty picture.

Beware SSK, we now have the SSS - Salem Scissors Slaughterer. HAHAHA I have to wonder though, why did SSS spend time rummaging through the drawers in the LIVING ROOM looking for a weapon when all she had to do was go into the KITCHEN and get a knife?? Is Marlena such a bad cook she doesn't even keep cooking implements? HA

And last, but not least, Squints doing a Mr. Magoo....there are no words except PREVUZE ROCKS!

7:26 AM  

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