Friday, January 27, 2006

Naked As Jaybirds

Phillip and Belle talk about bringing Claire home. Phillip says maybe they shouldn't be so happy given Shawn's circumstances. Shawn says is OK, he understands and he's glad Zach could give Claire her life back. Belle remembers the blanket and angel, and says Zach is now Claire's angel. Mimi talks about the other families who received Zach's organs. Phillip promises Claire nothing will ever take her away from them again.

Bonnie tells Kate, "You may rule the boardroom, honey, but I'm the queen of the real world. And in the real world no one gives me the flip and gets away with it." Bonnie repeats, "Shawn is the real Daddy of baby Claire."

"I don't know what you are talking about," says Kate.

"Don't insult my intelligence," says Bonnie. Kate gets up to leave.

"Park your keester back down here. You and I both know, Phillip is not her father. Shawn is."

John has brought Marlena to her office to spend time alone. Marlena doesn't like it and says Alex wouldn't like it either. John says, "We need to talk about what's going to happen to our family now that you've decided to be with another man."

Alex and Lois are liplocked. Alex comes up for air, "Admit it, Lois, you've missed me as much as I've missed you."

Marlena says, "When you talk about our family, I assume you're talking about the children we share."

"Specifically," says John, "[D]Izzy and the grandchild. To hell with the rest of them. What with her postpartum and the problems with Claire, it's a lot to handle on her own."

"She's not alone," says Marlena, "She has Phillip. I don't remember much about raising Belle, but it's obvious we did something right."

"She and Phillip have gone through hell. This isn't the time to abandon her," says John.

Marlena raises her voice, "I'm not doing that. I'm here for both of them. I'm trying. I can't help the amnesia."

"You might want to consider another therapist," says John, "One who would want to help you."

"You can't help yourself, can you," says Marlena, "You almost killed Alex and he saved my life."

"And you can't remember our past and want to throw it away. You're giving up on me. I chose you because you are my wife." says John.

"Really," says Marlena, "What do you want from me?"

"I think our daughter needs the support of her family right now."

"I think she would enjoy having her nuclear family back. You know what, so would Sami. So what do I do? Stay with you? Stay with Roman? These children are grown. They have moved on. I think it's time you do the same thing."

John flails his arms like a crazed maestro, "All I'm saying is we need to be there for Belle. Is that so wrong? We witnessed Belle's miracle. I'm kinda hoping for a miracle of my own. My God, I took vows, and that means something to John Black."

"I have no interest in reconciling with a man I don't even remember as a husband. I love Alex and right now I'm gonna go check on him."

John grabs her and says, "You're not going anywhere." Neither is the plot.

Lois attacks Alex like a teenage mink. He tells her to cool it. Someone might be watching. "You're not going to believe this," says Lois, "I actually thought you were trying to save Marlena's life. That you loved her more than any woman has been loved. What's it like – pretending to be in love with a woman you hate as much as Marlena?" Alex stares.

Mimi and Belle go for coffee. Phillip says, "I want to say something to you, but I don't know how to say it without it sounding lame."

"I would be surprised if it came from you and didn't sound lame," says Shawn.

"You lost your little brother, but he's still here. And I will never forget your standing beside Belle and me."

Shawn says, "If you are asking me if I would sacrifice my little brother's life so that my daughter could live, I don't think anyone would say 'yes' to that. Now Claire has a chance to live. I would have done anything for her.

Belle tells Mimi her support has meant a lot. "Shawn's not like other guys," says Mimi, "It's almost like Claire is therapy to him. She means so much to him... as if she were his own daughter."

"She is," says Belle as she walks away. Mimi does a double-take.

Kate tells Bonnie her accusation could cause a lot of pain. Bonnie says, "I notice you're not saying it's not true."

"I'm saying it's outrageous," says Kate.

"I agree," says Bonnie, "It's outrageous for any man to pretend he's the father of another man's child."

"PHILLIP IS NOT PRETENDING ANYTHING," says Kate.

"You're right," says Bonnie, "He's clueless. He also doesn't know Claire is Shawn's daughter. Let's cut the bull. Claire belongs to Shawn and that's just the plain unvarnished truth." Kate wonders how Bonnie came to this conclusion. "You're not the only snoop in town. Mimi got suspicious when Phillip's blood type didn't match Claire's, but Belle and Shawn did. Then I heard about your generous honeymoon offer and I put two and two together. Mimi doesn't know. I told her not to give it another thought. So, are you just suspicious or do you know-know?"

"I know-know," says Kate, "I underestimated you. You're a lot more clever than I thought, Bonnie. So what do you want?"

"Same thing you want."

"I want my son to be happy," says Kate.

"And I want my daughter to be happy. I'm all for keeping Belle and Shawn in the dark about this. You with me?" Kate smiles.

Marlena asks John if he thinks manhandling her would win her back. He backs down and says he just wanted her to look around the room. John gives a tour. Marlena isn't impressed, "Alex risked his life for me. Have you done that, John?"

"Once or twice," he whispers.

"I'm sorry," says Marlena, "I don't remember it. But Alex did save me up on the roof. And it's like you want to punish him for it. Do you have any idea how that hurts me? If he hadn't done that I'd be dead right now."

"I don't believe that for a second," says John.

"Well, there we are," says Marlena, "You're wrong." She turns to leave.

"And you're wrong if you think I'm going to let you go," says John as he shuts the door.

"Oh," says Alex, "I don't hate Marlena... Actually I pity her for confusing her subconscious fear of me for feelings of love."

Lois laughs, "How could she possible think you love her after what you did to her years ago. You brought on her first bout of hysterical amnesia."

"Unfortunately," says Alex, "I didn't get the chance."

"Now that you have me helping you, you'll get rid of her. Just proceed slowly. Be cautious," says Lois.

"Why," asks Alex, "What have you done?"

"Nothing."

"If you've messed things up for me...," says Alex, "Do not jeopardize my mission."

"I'm not," insists Lois, "I'm just trying to tell you that John black is smarter than he looks. He might interfere."

"I admit," says Alex, "that John Black has been a formidable foe, but he's lost Marlena forever."

"I miss you," says Lois, "When are you gonna get me out of here? We will be together – say it."

"We will," says Alex, "But first, I have my business to take care of. Be understanding."

"I will," she says, "But all these years shut away from society..."

"Lovely looney Lois... Don't worry."

"What if John insists in protecting that dumb blonde," she asks.

"We're talking about Marlena," says Alex, "Not her daughter." I hold her fate in my hands and there is nothing John black can do to save her."

"Claire is Shawn's," says Mimi, "Did you just say that?"

"Well no," says Belle, "It was just another cheap DOOL plot thing. Anyone who actually bought it would have to be as dumb as I am to say it. You know what I meant. He thinks of her that way. Phillip and I were thinking of what we would do with Claire if anything happened to us. We thought of our families and that's kind of a mess to say the very least, so we thought of you and Shawn. Zach's death was kind of random. None of us can count on being here tomorrow." Especially this show if it doesn't get a good storyline going.

They turn to talk of the wedding. Belle asks how Mimi will ever be able to choose one of the georgeous dresses Kate is offering. "I'm not sure I'm going to choose anything," says Mimi, "I'm not sure there will be a wedding at all." And the idiocy just keeps rolling on.

Coincidentally, Phillip and Shawn talk about the wedding. Phillip says, "I've seen how much Mimi loves you. Are you having second thoughts about marrying her?" Shawn stares.

"Sounds like you know more than I do," says Kate.

"Well," says Bonnie, "I talked to an EMT I used to date. He was on duty the night they rescued Belle and Shawn. They found them in the blazing barn, naked as Jaybirds."

"And they were confused and disoriented as usual," says Kate, "and that's how it happened."

"Don't look so glum, chum," says Bonnie, "They survived, they made Claire and they don't remember. And that's the way it's going to stay unless someone does something stupid and tells them." They both vow not to say anything.

"We have a deal then," says Kate. She sticks our her hand to shake.

"Kate," says Bonnie, "You're skipping a step."

"Excuse me?"

"You're rich," says Bonnie, "You want to seal our deal... You gotta meet my price."

John and Marlena go over well trodden ground providing a perfect zapping opportunity.

"The plan," says Alex, "is Marlena will keep telling John she doesn't love her until he has no choice but to believe her. And then..."

"I know," says Lois, "...Kate." Oh, that is some diabolical plan. How do they come up with these complex storylines?

"I'm amazed at how brilliantly you planted that seed in John's brain. And the amazing thing is Kate really does love him. Sooner or later he will bite," says Alex."

"Bite...," says Lois, "You're right... this really bites."

"Sooner or later John will want a woman next to him in his bed. And since he can't have Marlena... everything is going according to plan," says Alex, "John has always been right about me, but who's going to believe him now. There is no way he can prove it."

Shawn says he really does want to marry Mimi. Phillip encourages him to take his mom up on the offer. He convinces Shawn. They hand-butt. Shawn asks him to be his best man.

Mimi just thinks the timing is bad for the wedding. And she's not into eloping. Belle tells her this is her home and her family is here and she shouldn't settle for eloping if she doesn't want to. They hug. It's the female equivalent of a hand-butt. Mimi also doesn't want to settle for one of Kate's crummy wedding dresses. She wants to wear Caroline Brady's crummy wedding dress, "Shawn did say I looked beautiful in it." The blood drains from Belle's head and she walks away.

Bonnie lays out her demands. A truckload of makeup. She wants Alice's to be the place for the reception. She wants Basic Black to design a dress for the 'full figured' gal. She pulls a piece of paper out of her purse and hands it to Kate, "Strike while the iron is hot and this one is on fire." Kate will get right on it. Bonnie vows, "The truth will follow me to my grave."

"If that truth does slip out," says Kate, "An early grave can be arranged."

Bonnie says her lips are buttoned. Kate warns her again and then leaves. Bonnie pulls out a flask and 'improves' the coffee, "I had the brass ring. Maggie stole it from me. I'll get it for my daughter, though."

Belle is surprised Mimi would want to wear Caroline's dress. Mimi says, "Zach would have been the ring bearer. Maybe Claire can be the flower girl."

"I hope you won't wait that long," says Belle. Mimi says she has seen kids that young do it before, "Their mom just carried them in the flowers." Mimi asks Belle to be her maid of honor. Belle agrees. Another girl-hand-butt.

Phillip agrees to be best man, "Friendship never dies."

"No matter what," asks Shawn.

"No matter what," says Phillip. Claire cries. Yeah, no matter what. Phillip picks her up and hands her to Shawn. Oh! The bonding!

Kate comes up to Marlena's office door and hears John and Marlena talking. Marlena says, "You're going to have to stop loving me, John. You won't be too deprived." You can say that again. "You still have feelings for Kate. And she's a lovely woman."

"Yes she is," says John, "I have feelings for her. But it's not the way I feel for you." Kate walks away.

"Alex and I deserve to be happy," says Marlena, "You just have to let me go." She leaves.

"I can't," says John.

Lois asks, "What happens if Marlena regains her memory."

"It won't make any difference," says Alex, "By the time that happens, it will be too late for anyone to save her."


Previews
========

Carrie asks, "What about you and Lucas?" Sami asks, "What about us?" Carrie says, "Is it really over between the two of you?"

Lucas tells Austin, "You can raid as many companies as you want. But when the time comes, Titan is going to destroy you just like you did Carrie's company."

Billie tells Frankie, "I'm begging you. No one can now that Chelsea killed... Zach."

Bo says, "I gotta tell Hope the truth." Hope asks, "Truth?"

2 Comments:

Anonymous applecheeks said...

I think the title of this episode could also have been, "This really bites..." HAHAHAHA

"John Black is smarter than he looks." That also got a chuckle out of me. And the Doc/Squints picture was priceless.

I must say, being on the brink of death for a couple of months seems to have agreed with Claire. Not only is she now "real", but she's three times bigger than the doll she replaced. LOLOL

6:13 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

Aaaahh...finally, the thick plottens. Maybe Lois and Alex together will make for some interesting scenes. We hope.

By next week Claire will probably be about 6 years old so she will be able to be the flower girl.

I can't decide which is funnier - yesterday's "Don't call me Doc" or today's "Don't call me Squints" pic. I think it's a tie! HAHAHAHHA

Wonderful Prevuze today!

8:28 AM  

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