Wednesday, July 07, 2010

An Incipient Wimp With Large Breasts And No Backbone

Sydney sits in her stroller and reminisces about the good old days when she was kidnapped and away from her wacko parents. we pan back to find Sami and EJ setting up for the picnic. Sami rambles about all of them being together.

EJ says, "It's all right, Samantha... You can say the f-word."

Sami washes his mouth out with soap, "Watch it around the kid." She tells him she doesn't want to jinx things.

EJ finally goads her into saying it. They stand there in silence as EJ looks around, "See... No lightning and earthquakes."

Speaking of lightning and earthquakes, Daniel and Chloe have apparently had theirs. They bask in the afterglow of the L&E experience and Chloe says she can't believe she's pregnant. Daniel wants to show her how it happened, but the evening's plans prevail. He asks what she wants for dinner, "How about Indian... Tai... pickles and ice cream? He decides to get takeout and says he will stop by and see Melanie for a couple minutes when he picks it up. He leaves. Chloe sighs and thinks. In Chloe's case, there is more sighing than thinking. She remembers Carly telling her she has to tell Daniel — how could she forget... how could any of us forget? She whines, "You didn't tell anyone, Carly. Did you change your mind or are you playing with me?"

Melanie greets Carly in Maggie's kitchen. She has brought ice cream. Melanie starts to get bowls, but the gals decide to eat it au natural. They also decide to eat the ice cream right out of the carton. Carly wants to talk about Daniel and Chloe. The viewers want to change the channel.

Nicole sneaks into the DiMera mansion rumpus room. She remembers Stefano's threats as she hunts for the evidence they have against her.

Stefano meets Lexie and Theo at the pier. He gives Theo a model boat. Lexie is upset because she thinks it must have cost too much. Stefano says nothing is too good for his grandson. Abe walks up and watches.

The Surgeon General has determined the next scene is detrimental to your health.

Sami unpacks the pic-a-nic basket. She pulls out a variety of things including a bag of Crud Mix. She offers some to EJ, but the dimwitted Brit has never heard of the stuff. "Have you been living on another planet," she asks, "Everyone loves this stuff. And it's organic, too. Or at least part of it once was before they covered it with MSG and lye to preserve it."

EJ takes a bite, "OMG! This is the best concrete I ever tasted. Give me some more!"

Oh, no, Sami can't have that. It's HER Crud Mix. The two juveniles play tug-o-war with the Crud Mix bag. In the process some dirt and rocks get inside the bag. EJ and Sami both take another bite, but can't tell it tastes any different with the dirt in there. Finally EJ gives the bag a big yank. This sends Sami reeling. Unfortunately, but conveniently, she's holding an open bottle of olive oil in her other hand and presto, we have an oil spill right onto EJ's shirt that is more messy than anything BP could handle.

Yes, folks, the writers have really done it this time. They have combined a sleazy, cheesy product placement ad with an opportunity for a gratuitous shirtless scene. These guys are pros.

Sami giggles as EJ puts on a show for the gals.

One of the few guys in the audience stands up and yells, "Hey! Spill some on her blouse!"

Nicole searches, finds a recorder in the desk and takes it.

Abe walks up and greets Stefano and the gang. Stefano takes Theo to watch the boats. Lexie tells Abe she didn't invite Stefano, "When he wants to, he turns into the Pied Piper." Abe reminds her they agreed to keep Stefano away from Theo, but just the opposite is happening.

Melanie and Carly gorge themselves and talk about Daniel and Carly. Carly has a flashback to one of the ten thousand times she confronted Chloe. Melanie asks, "Carly, is there a problem?"

"Yeah, there is."

Sami tries to clean the shirt with water as EJ provides the eye-candy in the background. Johnny comes up. EJ takes him to say hello to Allie and Mary, which is kind of stupid since Johnny just came from there to get EJ.

All the while, Sami stands there, jaw open, drool flowing, looking at bare-chested EJ. As the pair goes off Sami turns to Sydney, "What? He's a guy. He has his shirt off. I'm just looking."

Gabi and Will join her. Sami goes ape over Will's scarred up face. Will ignores her and asks where Johnny and Allie are. She says they are with EJ. They talk about Arianna. Will says Rafe is helping her and takes the opportunity to throw a low blow his mom's way, "Rafe is good at getting people out of messes and unlike some people I know I'm sure Arianna will be grateful."

Nicole sneaks around a bedroom. She takes a wad-o-cash and finds an ultrasound picture in the drawer. She remembers when she got it and sits on the bed and contemplates. And cries.

Chloe answers the door to find Vivian. Vivian comes in and asks why Chloe didn't take care of Carly. "I was too busy breaking my 300 foot drop with my face," says Chloe.

Carly says everything is fine and asks if Chloe seems happy, "I hope she won't hurt Daniel."

"I'm not 100% sure she won't," says Melanie.

Nicole takes the ultrasound picture, folds it and sticks it in her pocket, "I wonder if EJ is bluffing."

EJ has apparently found a spare t-shirt somewhere on the beach. Translation: Show's over, folks. He and Will prepare the picnic stuff. Will goes off to be with Sami. Gabi comes up and gets something to put lightning bugs in. And we all know how easy they are to find during the day. She tells EJ thanks for defending Arianna.

"Nothing says thanks like a large retainer," says EJ.

"The only retainer I can afford is the one I got after I had my braces," says Gabi.


The fool's parade continues. Sami comes and Gabi leaves. EJ says he meant it when he said he wants to give her independence. "I want that," says Sami, "but I don't mind having you close by."

Stefano calls and tells EJ they have a problem. He says they need to meet now. EJ gets off the phone. Sami asks, "Are you sure you have to go?"

"I'm sure," he says.

"I think there is a clump of bushes over there that would give you some privacy," says Sami.

Prevuze resorts to bathroom humor and jumps the shark.

Vivian lectures Chloe for botching the killing. Chloe says she's glad she messed it up.

Melanie and Carly continue to talk about Chloe. Melanie hopes Daniel is the right guy for her, "If she hurt him it would kill him and then I'd have to kill her."

Nicole searches. She wonders where else EJ might have hidden the evidence and leaves the bedroom.

EJ asks, "You want me to stay? Why?"

"Because this is supposed to be a family night together," says Sami.

"I'm sure we'll have plenty of those," says EJ. He leaves. Sami sighs.

Nicole sneaks. She hustles into a closet as Stefano comes in. Stefano pours himself a drink and booms, "Hiding won't do you any good, my darling."

Vivian asks, "So you're quite happy being a coward?"

"I'm happy I didn't kill someone," says Chloe, "Especially myself."

Vivian rambles on and in the process mentions Gregory. Chloe asks, "Who's Gregory."

"A nurse."

"How do you know him?"

"We had a little deal," says Vivian.

Chloe puts two and two together. In Chloe's mind, 2 and 2 makes 22, but that's close enough, "OMG! Greg is the one who told me Daniel and Carly had gone off together! You paid him to lie to me! And the hotel clerk! You paid him, too! You ruined my life!"

Melanie gets off the phone and announces Daniel is coming for a visit. Carly decides to stick around. Melanie says as far as she knows Chloe hasn't done anything wrong. She wants Daniel to love her, "So whatever we think about Chloe, we have to let it go." Bet they don't.

Sami joins Gabi and tells her EJ had to leave. Gabi notices Sydney's sleepy and sings "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" in Spanish. Sami cries.

"Why are you crying," asks Gabi.

"You can't hear your own singing, can you," asks Sami, "That's the song Rafe used to sing to Grace. In fact, that's what killed her."

Nicole starts to come out of hiding, but sees Stefano is talking to a chess piece, not her. She ducks back in as EJ enters the room. Stefano says, "Your crazy ex-wife has given our man the slip."

"How could anyone be that stupid," snorts EJ.

"She faked a pregnancy on him," says Stefano.

EJ asks, "So you don't know where Nicole is?"

"It's classic Nicole."

"That woman could take on an entire regiment armed with only a corkscrew," says EJ. He says he knows Nicole and knows she is responsible for framing Arianna, but admits he doesn't have any evidence against her. Stefano says Nicole always trips over herself and wonders why he's defending Rafe's sister. EJ says he likes practicing law, "Maybe it makes me feel good."

"And maybe it makes Samantha Brady feel good," says Stefano, "Because that's whats going on here. Isn't it?"

Sami says she misses Rafe, "It's complicated." A light switch is complicated to Sami. Gabi says she thinks Rafe misses her, too. She walks off.

Chloe blows her stack, "You used me!"

Vivian asks, "Do you ever stop whining?" For the record... no. "I listened to you whine to Nicole for what seemed like hours in the pub."

Chloe gasps, "You were eavesdropping!"

"Sherlock Holmes move over, Chloe Lane is in town," says Vivian, "That's when I found out I could play you like a poker hand from a stacked deck. Unfortunately, you tuned out to be an incipient wimp with large breasts and no backbone."

Chloe threatens to call the cops on Vivian. Vivian calls her bluff, says she has them on speed dial and hands Chloe her phone. Chloe throws the door open, "GET OUT OF HERE!" And there stands Carly, who apparently didn't stick around for Daniel to get to Maggie's after all. Vivian leaves. Outside, Carly asks her what's up. Vivian makes up a story. Carly sees through it, "I wondered where she got the idea about an affair — it was you wasn't it?" Vivian leaves. Carly chases.

Chloe rambles about everything Vivian trapped her into doing as she looks at a picture of her and Daniel.

Vivian must be in pretty good shape. Carly doesn't catch her until they reach the pub. When she does, she laces into her, "You lied to Chloe to get back at me!"

"That shouldn't surprise you," says Vivian, "You know I hate you. Unfortunately Chloe can't find her backside with two hands and a map. I won't stop until I destroy you." Vivian leaves.

Daniel is with Melanie. He says he knows things have been crazy but wants to make something clear, "You are my firstborn. You always will be. So I can't wait until someone demands my firstborn in exchange for something I want."

Melanie says she has something. She gets into a sack and pulls out a T-shirt that says, "I'm the big sister." Melanie has to be reminded of things like that.

Sami looks to the heavens as Will comes up. She says she can't help thinking about Rafe. Will suggests she call him. "I can't," says Sami.

Will asks, "Because of EJ?"

"No," says Sami, "Because that's something an adult would do."

EJ and Stefano talk about Sami. "I'm not going to trick her into caring for me," says EJ, "I'm just going to be the man that she can..."

Stefano interrupts, "What? Love as much as she loves Hernandez?" A referee tosses a flag and penalizes Stefano for unsportsmanlike conduct. "What if she finds out what you did?" That gets Nicole's interest. She turns on the recorder.

Melanie gives Daniel a dad's baby book, "It has places for all the firsts... First feeding... First tooth... First time changing a diaper really grossed you out... First time the baby looked at you and knew who you were. That strikes a chord with both of them. Daniel hopes there is a place in there to write down how much he hopes the baby turns out to be like Melanie. If there is, it must be a small space.

Chloe gets in the fetal position on the bed and imagines being with Daniel after the baby is born, "I'll never have that kind of happiness. Not if this baby isn't Daniel's. What have I done?"

Carly stands alone outside the pub, "This might not be Daniel's baby. It might ruin their lives all because she wanted to get back at me. What do I do now?" Just a suggestion but... mind your own business, maybe?

Sami wonders, "What if Rafe and I are a fantasy?"

"You are," Will reminds her, "It's hard for some people to accept, but DOOL is fiction."

Sami asks, "What if it turns out Rafe can't deal with parts of my real life?"

"So," says Will, "It is about EJ."

"For him, yeah," says Sami, "For me... I don't know. Because that would take a degree of intelligence and maturity I can only dream of." Will apologizes for being a jerk about EJ. He says he knows EJ is trying to be a decent guy and wonders if he's changed. Will leaves.

Sami drones, "Maybe he has."

Nicole soaks it all in as EJ says he lives with the fact every day if Sami ever finds out, he loses everything. Stefano reminds him Anna is the only one who knows and is neutralized, "If anyone ever finds out you paid her to kidnap Sydney..."

EJ defends his actions, "It was to make everyone suffer."

"You did that in spades," says Stefano, "You made us think she was dead. So, there is no need to worry. Anna is tucked away and no one will ever know." Nicole watches.

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuzea

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12 Comments:

Anonymous Betyar said...

"EJ says, 'It's all right, Samantha... You can say the f-word.'"...would that be f for "forgive"?

"One of the few guys in the audience stands up and yells, 'Hey! Spill some on her blouse!'"...naughty, naughty Prevuze...it's not that kind of show...yet!

"EJ defends his actions, "It was to make everyone suffer."...and here's why...Sami had the same boyfriend all through H/S & college. The year they were getting married, she met Rafe. Long story short, Sami dumps the x, moves on with Rafe, and they live happily ever after..Not quite! Here’s the last piece of the puzzle & the reason Sami & Rafe are doomed. Rafe is Jewish and Sami is not. Rafe couldn’t care less about that, so when he announced to his family they were getting engaged, the motherload of all shit hit the fan! Sami & Rafe were summoned to the DiMera mansion for dinner & cocktails, to discuss the matter. At this meeting, Rafe’s biological mother was also conferenced in. Talk about bringing in the cavalry! Several arguments were given, the strongest of which was “for generations, in their family lineage Jewish women carried the maternal bloodline.” Meaning that “their” children could never be 100% pure-blood because Sami’s not Jewish. Rafe had a love/hate relationship with his parents, so he tended to be very sarcastic with them. I think his answer to this dilemma was “ok mother, since it would be “biologically” impossible for us to have a purebred, how about if we adopt one for you to play with? What would you prefer, a boy or a girl?” OMG! The second batch of shit hit the fan! In effort to calm things down, Sami tries to bring her side of the argument. She had never been able to get pregnant before, so she felt it was very unlikely she would ever conceive, therefore no reason to worry about any baby lineage. She thought they would be happy to hear that. But NO!!! At this point the conversation turned into “but we’re concerned about Rafe being able to have children, and we want grandchildren, of course…why else get married?” Indeed, why else? If Sami couldn’t be a baby factory, she was pretty much useless to them. The DiMera’s had perfected the art of belittling people, and making their son feel that no matter what he did in life he would always be a failure. If it weren’t for propriety, Sami would have loved to get up from the table to tell them exactly where they could shove their 100% Jewish baby!...Rafe constantly tried to reassure her that his family would come around eventually, but she knew better. She had enough dealings with them to know they never would...not in this lifetime...

4:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

EJ says, "It's all right, Samantha... You can say the f-word."

I hope I wasn't the only one who took hours to figure out an f-word that wasn't that f-word.

Prevuze resorts to bathroom humor and jumps the shark

Prevuze can't jump the shark - Prevuze is the shark DROOL has to jump over every day.

Did Prevuze write Viv's lines today? Now if they could get that poor woman a decent haircut ...

5:15 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Chloe sighs and thinks. In Chloe's case, there is more sighing than thinking. She remembers Carly telling her she has to tell Daniel — how could she forget... how could any of us forget?

You think? It pains me to think that there are people at DOOL being paid lots of money to be “creative”. It appears those people consider “creative” and “repetitive” to be synonymous.

Carly wants to talk about Daniel and Chloe. The viewers want to change the channel.

Amen!

She remembers Stefano's threats as she hunts for the evidence they have against her.

Any reasonable person would take heed of Stefano’s threats and keep a very low profile. Instead of Manolo Blahniks, Nicole could find herself being fitted for a pair of cement overshoes.

Yes, folks, the writers have really done it this time. They have combined a sleazy, cheesy product placement ad with an opportunity for a gratuitous shirtless scene. These guys are pros.

…and this is a problem? OK. The product placement stuff is pretty stupid.

Gabi comes up and gets something to put lightning bugs in. And we all know how easy they are to find during the day.

Prevuze is detail oriented. DOOL – not so much.

"That's the song Rafe used to sing to Grace. In fact, that's what killed her."

Naughty, naughty Prevuze! That’s another low blow to the Rafester. Most excellent!! Sorry Bulldog. I promise I will say three Hail Marys and three Our Fathers.

Sami wonders, "What if Rafe and I are a fantasy?"

"You are," Will reminds her, "It's hard for some people to accept, but DOOL is fiction."

Ain’t that the truth?! Prevuze must be reading some of the nonsense posted on other sites.

Nicole watches.

…and tapes. BLACKMAIL!!! What a novel concept for DOOL. I get that part of the fun in watching this stuff is being able to roll your eyes in disbelief, but this is beyond stupid. Nicole just heard the incredibly dangerous Stefano say that he has neutralized Anna to protect EJ. Now Nicole knows too much. After loosing her bowels, Nicole should be tripping all over herself to get out of Dodge but nooooooooooo. We’re in for more baby switch insanity. Bleh!

6:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm with you on the hair anon#1. I also think Chloe could use a make over,she sorta looks like a country western singer. (Not there is anything wrong with that.)Just sayin' she is supposed to be a opera singer. Although I'm really not up on that, I don't think thats what they look like.My word verification alisp. Chloe sings with alisp

6:17 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Yes, folks, the writers have really done it this time. They have combined a sleazy, cheesy product placement ad with an opportunity for a gratuitous shirtless scene. These guys are pros.

These product placements are getting more and more obnoxious. They used to be just a shot of the product (with brand name prominently featured) on a counter. Now whole scenes revolve around them. I imagine the actors must groan at the thought of “selling” these scenes.

But, shirtless EJ = YAY! Au naturál women tease = [I'm speaking for the guys here] BOO!

"Rafe is good at getting people out of messes and unlike some people I know I'm sure Arianna will be grateful."

That kinda implies Arianna would show her “gratitude” to Rafe the way Sami should have. Which is just………EEEUUUWWWW.

"I was too busy breaking my 300 foot drop with my face," says Chloe.

Luckily it wasn’t her face that really broke her fall.

Prevuze resorts to bathroom humor and jumps the shark

What shark? I don’t see no shark. Nobody has jumped the shark. Especially not Prevuze. I agree with Leslie.

My HUH?! moment for the day:
Chloe JUST NOW figured out Viv was using her? I knew she was a dim bulb, but lord in heaven, how can anyone be that clueless?

I must thank the writers for having Vivian say to Chloe what we have all been thinking for weeks! For example, Chloe can't find her backside with two hands and a map. LMAO

Speaking of writers………tune in tomorrow for the celebrity installment of SYTYCWASO when the guest writers will be Zippy, Cheetah and the irrepressible Kong.

I give them one thumb up for the episode. It was better than yesterday’s 2nd grade class’s episode. But there was a thumbs down for inserting Chloe/Carly/Melanie into the mix.

Who is on tap for tomorrow's episode, Prevuze? I guess it doesn't matter as long as Prevuze gets to provide us with the snark.

6:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriously Ej and Steffi should just kill Nicole. Problem solved. Not hard. These writers are so incompetent.

7:17 AM  
Anonymous Frustrated In Salem said...

Exactly, Steffi would have her "neutralized" in a flash, and Nicole KNOWS that-she shouldn't be messin with the Dimera's. I can't decide if I'm happy or not that it is Nicole who will bring down EJ's house of cards, I think she has already done enough to him and it bugs me she has the upper hand. BUT, I am glad it is not the Neanderthal that figured it out-so I guess I'll have to take my lumps.


Shirtless EJ-YAHOO!!!! I'm so shallow sometimes....... :~)

8:14 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Everyone so far has missed the best Prevuism of the week: "How could anyone be that stupid," snorts EJ. "She faked a pregnancy on him," says Stefano.

Vivian, however, gets the award for the best actual line of the show - something I think we've all wanted to say to Chloe:"Do you ever stop whining?" Amen, Amen, Amen!!

Prevuze resorts to bathroom humor and jumps the shark. I agree, Prevuze could never jump the shark with DOOL. IMHO DOOL jumped the shark itself with the Marlena possession storyline.

Excellent Prevuze and pictures today. Thanks!! :D

9:29 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"One of the few guys in the audience stands up and yells, 'Hey! Spill some on her blouse!'"...naughty, naughty Prevuze...it's not that kind of show...yet!

and

"That's the song Rafe used to sing to Grace. In fact, that's what killed her."

Naughty, naughty Prevuze!


TWO "Naughty, naughty's" - I may have to print this episode off and frame it.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Betyar, my mead is spinning, but I think I get it.

11:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is by NO MEANS a criticism of Prevuze - God(dess) of All Blogs. Just a grammatical clarification, if you will.

Did Vivian actually say "incipient wimp" or was that a small (very, very small) 'oops' by Prevuze? Or mispronunciation by Vivan? Or idiotic grammatical error by the DOOL scribes?

"Incipient" means "becoming" or "almost ready to be". Chloe is a full-blown wimp and I'm sure Prevuze/Vivian/DOOL writers meant to say "Insipid wimp".

Don't mean to be picky, but that sort of stuff drives me bonkers.

KOTU

1:11 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"Incipient" means "becoming" or "almost ready to be". Chloe is a full-blown wimp and I'm sure Prevuze/Vivian/DOOL writers meant to say "Insipid wimp".

Don't mean to be picky, but that sort of stuff drives me bonkers.


It drives me bonkers, too. What I actually heard her say was "incipent" which, of course is not a word. So I went with "incipient," taking that she meant beginner, rookie, dilettante or, I don't know, not even good enough to be a real wimp.

As, however, I am sure you are aware, it is my policy never, never, never to go back and listen to this cra... uh, stuff a second time or I would go completely nuts. So you'll just have to tune in tomorrow and see if you think Viv says "incipent," "incipient" or "insipid."

Note to actors: don't mumble your lines. Today it was Vivian and "incipent," yesterday Hope and her "e-bold quack case" and there is one actor I will refrain from naming because that actor is overwhelmingly popular, but I swear mumbles every other line. Again, I'll keep the actor's name to myself, but maybe the problem is his British accent.

2:56 PM  

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