Friday, May 07, 2010

I Always Make It A Point To Confuse People

Nicole is on the phone telling Frank she's got things set up. She hangs up and starts a spontaneous rant about Arianna an Brady.

Arianna comes in to see Brady at the hospital. He says they've released him and he's good to go. She say he's not.

Hope scribbles Brady's name on the clue board and thanks Abe for the increased patrols. She tells him EJ said there are two muggers and one is a woman, "In fact, the symbol marked on Brady's chest confirms the ringleader is a woman."

"Why do you say that," asks Abe.

"Because a man would never use that shade of lipstick."

Melanie and Nathan sit in a waiting area at the hospital. Melanie says she has something to say about Stephanie. "Forget it," says Nathan.

"OK," says Melanie, "I'm good at forgetting things."

Victor sits Maggie down after her spell. She doesn't want him to call 911. "Why," asks Victor.

"Because we're in town," says Maggie, "It would take them two hours to get here. They can only get to you fast if you're in some remote place."

Speaking of remote places, Calliope and Anna are together in the island hideaway and Calliope grills her. Rafe watches and coaches. Anna becomes suspicious that Calliope showed up on the island in the first place. She accuses Calliope of following her, "What is your angle?"

"I'm not certain of the exact angle," says Calliope, "But whatever it is I'm sure it's obtuse."

Sami massages EJ. He calls a time out when it gets... rough. Sami tones it down and EJ suggests she should go to massage school. She tells him she planned to but there was trouble and they asked her to leave. "It's their loss," says EJ, "You're a very gifted person." EJ moves in to see if he can sample the gifts. Sami moves in, too. Closer... closer... closer...

WILL!

Maggie assures Victor she's fine but says she doesn't want to advertise her illness. Victor asks if she can stand. She stands up and he carts her off to the hospital.

Anna slurs, "You have been digging like a ferret. who put you up to this? Roman? Carrie? OMG! Are you going to take this to the tabloids?"

"No," Calliope assures her, "Even the tabloids aren't this dumb. Just out of curiosity, how much do you think I could get?"

Anna whines, "Forget it. This conversation is over."

Calliope growls, "It ain't over 'till the DOOL writers say it's over."

Will the chaperone gasps, "What's going on?"

Several Ejamis rush the stage, hog-tie Will and begin dragging him off stage. Security is called. The guards explain this isn't the way to handle things. The gals back off and order is restored, except for one Ejami who continues to threaten Will with bodily harm as they drag her off.

Arianna thinks Brady is going to go after the guy who did this to him. Brady admits it, "I have resources the Salem police department doesn't have... people with brains for one thing."

Arianna says, "OK, I won't fight you. I'll join you. I'm with you every step of the way. Until it gets scary."

Hope shows Abe the pictures of symbol of Celtic female empowerment. "That's the damnedest looking vacuum cleaner I've ever seen," says Abe.

Baker wants to throw his watch into the pot. Charley says it's worthless and won't have it. He says another expensive money clip would get Baker in the game. Baker says he's broke and Charley thinks he should leave. Baker decides to wait and see if his friend shows up.

Calliope insists she would never sell Anna out. Anna is suspicious. Anna is cautious. And drunk. Crunk? She slurs, "When did you start working for the cops?" Back in his room, Rafe swallows his keyboard.

Sami backpedals and says she was giving EJ a massage. Will lectures, "Why did you move in here? To be with the kids or him?"

Hope is on the phone with Maggie who tells her she can't have Ciara spend the night tonight. She hangs up and Hope tells Abe she can't find a place for Ciara to stay so she can't work on the case all night. Theo says he would offer, but Theo has the chicken pox. Abe reminds her the case won't break tonight. Hope decides to assign someone else.

Abe leaves. Outside he calls Lexie, "If you talk to Hope tell her Theo has the chicken pox."

Melanie wonders how Nathan could know what she was going to say. He says he just assumed it still bothers her that he and Stephanie are together, but decides he's wrong. She asks if he thinks he and Stephanie are going a little fast. I don't want to see Stephanie hurt you.

"How could she hurt me," asks Nathan.

Calliope insists she did not sell out. Anna doesn't believe her. She wants to know why Calliope showed up there. "You're right," says Calliope, "It's not a coincidence."

EJ tells Will to have a little respect. Sami asks to talk to Will alone. EJ leaves. Will tells Sami he doesn't want to be lied to and asks if she loves Rafe, "Or do you just want to have some guy around, it doesn't matter who?"

BINGO!

Melanie says, "I think you should take it slower. I think Stephanie wants to jump into things."

"As long as one of those things is a bed," says Nathan, "I think that's great."

I am says Nathan.

Stephanie walks in, "What are you guys talking about?"

Nathan says, "You."

"Good," says Stephanie, "I'm not happy unless it's all about ME." She assumes Melanie has told Nathan everything.

Brady and Arianna are back at the Kiriakis mansion. He says he won't allow Arianna to help with this. Arianna argues, "You're always the hero off on your own... Slaying the dragon. Who are you playin' hero for this time, Brady... me or Nicole?"

One of the poker-playin' ne'er-do-wells stands outside the poker dive with Nicole. He asks, "So you're Dee Wilson from Seattle? Youse sure you want to be in a joint like this?"

Dee/Nicole says, "I get my jollies from places like this. And elevators." He invites her in.

Calliope racks her brain for a story, "The reason is... FATE! You lost Tony, kidnapped Sydney and, I say this with love, you're a mess, Anna. And so am I. Euge really didn't go deep sea fishing. He left me." Anna whines and asked why. Calliope says, "He ran off with a... belly dancer!"

Rafe coaches, "Easy on the details!"

Calliope says she decided to get on a plane and go as fast and far as she could and ran into Anna. But now she thinks she should go. She starts to leave.

Rafe has a conniption. Well, not really a conniption. Conniptions usually involve emotion, "No. What the hell are you doing?"

Stefano finds EJ in the foyer and asks what happened. EJ tells him Will showed up and got dramatic. Stefano says he will handle Will.

Will asks, "Do you have feelings for EJ?" Sami flashes back to the kiss and zones out. Will sees he's lost her, "Mom?"

Sami says, "Yeah. Maybe I do.

It's getting crazy out there: How many SQUEEs would an Ejami SQUEE if an Ejami could SQUEE SQUEEs?

Melanie says she didn't say anything and then proceeds to say everything she allegedly didn't say, "All I said is I don't want Nathan to get hurt. I don't think he's as serious as you are." Nathan and Stephanie tell her they can decide that on their own. Stephanie gets a call and leaves.

Nathan thanks Melanie for her advice, "But in the future, I don't want it or need it."

Arianna rants about Nicole showing up at Brady's place. Brady reminds Arianna he kicked Nicole out. "Maybe," says Arianna, "But when I saw her I noticed her blouse was unbuttoned."

"That proves nothing," says Brady.

"And reveals nothing," says Arianna.

"When are you going to believe me," asks Brady.

"Nicole plays me like a total ditz," whines Arianna.

"That's not true," says Brady, "I think saying TOTAL is a bit strong."

Nicole rakes in the dough. She tells Charley he's $200 light. Charley scoots the money clip over as payment. Nicole recognizes it.

Anna gets all apologetic and suggests another round of drinks.

Sami reminds Will EJ is Johnny and Sydney's father. She also reminds him EJ forgave her for lying. Will asks, "Are you in love with him?"

"I'm grateful to him," says Sami, "Gratitude is not love. I'm not in love with him."

Will voices his opinion, "YOU ARE LYING!"

Hope and Ciara are in her bed. Hope reads her story and sees Ciara is asleep. Unfortunately, Chuggie the Choo-Choo is a real page-turner and Hope can't put it down. When she finally finishes, she goes over, pops a pill, turns out the light, hugs Ciara, kisses her and settles in.

"Thank goodness," thinks Ciara, "I thought she'd never stop reading me that lame story."

Nicole finds Charley outside. She asks where the money clip came from. Charley dunno. Nicole drags out a video camera and says it's stolen property. Charley tells her he won it in a poker game. Nicole threatens to plaster his face all over the ten o'clock news, "How do I find the guy you won it from?"

Melanie is with Victor and Maggie. Maggie tells her Victor saved her.

Modest Victor says, "I just drove you here. No one is going to nominate me for sainthood. That's about as likely as this show being nominated for a writing Emmy."

"I don't know what I would have done if you weren't there," says Maggie.

"You'd have hit the floor like a ton of bricks," says Victor.

Sami says, "When someone calls you a liar, it hurts."

"You know what they say," says Will, "The truth hurts. When you love someone and she lies anytime she likes that hurts, too."

Sami says when Will decided to leave it broke her heart, but when she followed him to the DiMera mansion and brought the rugrats it was because they were her kids, "I'm not here because I miss Rafe or love EJ. I am (say it with her) here for you."

Will asks, "So Rafe is never coming back?" Sami doesn't answer. He shakes his head, "Whatever. Just remember EJ is not the answer."

Nathan and Stephanie sit on the park bench. Nathan says, "I'm crazy about you."

"Wow," says Stephanie, "That makes two of us who are crazy."

"BUT," says Nathan, "I have a lot of tough years ahead of me." Especially if he's with her. "I think we have to take it slow."

Stephanie agrees, "You're right. Nice and slow."

Victor has left. Maggie assures Melanie, "I'm OK... but is something bothering you?"

"Besides you," asks Melanie. She tells Maggie she was with Nathan and could have told him something that would make him break up with Stephanie, but decided he should make his own decisions.

"I am so proud of you," says Mags, "You took the high road. And ruined Nathan's life. I was wondering if you could do that again? It's about Victor. I know he's done bad things in the past, but through it all he loves his family and you're part of that. He thinks highly of you, so how about cutting him some slack? Give Victor a chance."

Baker gets a call and some guy tells him he'll float him the money to get back in the big game. Baker hangs up and bolts.

Anna says part of her died with Tony. Must've been her brain. "So that Anna is gone for good."

"No," insists Calliope, "that Anna is inside of you and that's why I want you to talk."

Anna wails, "All right! I didn't kidnap little Sydney all by my lonesome."

"I knew it," says Calliope, "Who was it?"

Anna is relieved, "Finally to be able to tell someone else... someone who cares about me!"

"I do," insists Calliope, "I won't judge you. Tell me the whole..."

Anna has passed out like a dead fish. Calliope screams, "Anna! Wake up!"

EJ comes back in with Sami. She starts to brush past him but he says she can't avoid him forever.

Arianna pouts. Brady says he's not going on a bastard-hunt tonight and Will concentrate on her. He moves in. Bastards can wait while Brady and Arianna attempt to create their own.

Melanie finds Victor outside Maggie's room, "Victor, I'm glad you were (say it with her) there for Maggie tonight. Sometimes you're terrible. Shacking up with Vivian... but then sometimes you're as sweet as they come."

"I always make it a point to confuse people," says Victor. Melanie giggles. She suggests he go back in with Maggie. Victor heads in.

Inside, he tells Maggie, "I just had a little conversation with Melanie... Thank you."

Nathan and Stephanie take it nice and slow. With a lot more nice than slow. They munch around on each other and Nathan suggests, "We can take it slow at your place." But, of course, Nathan gets a call and has to go. They agree to meet in an hour at her place. He leaves.

Stephanie zones out, "He is so ready. He just needs a little push. She tosses her birth control pills in the river. It's a good thing, too, since all birth control is banned in Salem.

Calliope is back with Rafe. She says she didn't know Anna would pass out. Rafe tells her to make sure she's there when Anna wakes up. Calliope says she hates doing this. Callous Rafe don' give a flying leap about that.

Sami says, "Will didn't walk in on anything."

"But he almost did," says EJ, "Rafe isn't coming back. You know that."

"Yeah," says Sami, "I know that."

A Safe fan screams, "BITE YOUR TONGUE!" The show continues after authorities quell the full-blown riot in the Safe section.

"But," says Sami, "That doesn't mean something will happen between you and me."

An Ejami fan screams, "BITE YOUR TONGUE!" The show continues after authorities quell the full-blown riot in the Ejami section.

"We have kids together," says Sami, "There is nothing else between us." She huffs out.

EJ smiles, "Yes there is."

Out in the Ejami section, the mass-thud measures 6.5 on the Richter Scale.

Baker sits in the dingy poker den. The door opens. Baker gets up, "Joe! My man! Thanks for staking me because I feel..."

NICOLE!


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9 Comments:

Anonymous Bulldog said...

I'm the first commenter today?? Has the world ended and I don't know it? HA

Now what kind of stupid blackmail scheme is Nicole going to involve Baker in? Because she's just like Sami, she's got to dig herself into a hole somehow.

I loved "I have resources the Salem police department doesn't have...people with brains for one thing." and "If you talk to Hope tell her Theo has the chicken pox." Well at least Abe is using his head.

But my biggest total guilty pleasure since it's kinda, well, sick is "I don't know what I would have done if you weren't there," says Maggie. "You'd have hit the floor like a ton of bricks," says Victor. HAHAHA

Thanks for the excellent Prevuze. TGIF and TGIP! Oh - and something to think about....

How many barfs would a Safe fan barf
If a Safe fan could barf barfs?

7:50 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

"In fact, the symbol marked on Brady's chest confirms the ringleader is a woman."

"Why do you say that," asks Abe.

"Because a man would never use that shade of lipstick."

Unless, of course, he has a tie that matches! LOL!!!

She accuses Calliope of following her, "What is your angle?"

"I'm not certain of the exact angle," says Calliope, "But whatever it is I'm sure it's obtuse."

She’s working with Rafe. It has to be obtuse.

Sami moves in, too. Closer... closer... closer...

WILL!

The kid needs a job.

Will lectures, "Why did you move in here? To be with the kids or him?"

Apparently Will’s libido hasn’t kicked in. If it had, he wouldn’t be asking a question like that.

It's getting crazy out there: How many SQUEEs would an Ejami SQUEE if an Ejami could SQUEE SQUEEs?

LOL!!!

Nathan thanks Melanie for her advice, "But in the future, I don't want it or need it."

Advice he might not need but Nathan had better hope that Stephanie is taking her birth control pills.

"I don't know what I would have done if you weren't there," says Maggie.

"You'd have hit the floor like a ton of bricks," says Victor.

I’m supposed to be working so I need to keep it quiet. Prevuze you are making this very difficult for me, because my face is turning blue trying to contain my laughter.

Prevuze both of the Sami and EJ pictures are most excellent!! Gotta go!!!!! TGIF and TGFP!!!!!

7:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So apparently the only way to stop taking birth control pills is to take them with you to a public place and toss them in a public trash can or throw them in the river. You can't just leave them in your medicine cabinet and not take them, or throw them into you own home wastebasket. This is so contrived. Nobody on DOOL uses birth control anyway, so it would be no surprise at all if Stephanie got pregnant.

8:13 AM  
Anonymous bGirl said...

Squeeeee!

8:40 AM  
Blogger Jenna said...

To be fair our SqueeedSqueees have been eclipsed by a sound only dogs can hear.

And I knew those hog-tying lessons would come in handy. Just wait until Rafe returns!

8:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey we can squeeeeeeeeeee while it last..we had to endure for more one year the snooze fest that is Safe so...of course they have to make Ej the devil sydnapping mastermind to mess up Ejami once again !
Writers Sami could have embrace her devil self and be a powerful partner for Ej..BUT NO you have to mess up a goldmine ! They never learn..sigh !

10:31 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

People who schedule back-to-back, dawn-to-dusk meetings on a Friday should be tied down on an ant-hill; forced to watch DOOL with their eyelids taped open; and, have their Prevuze privileges revoked. Just saying...

OK, that rant over, at least I was able to cap off a looooong day with a fabulous Prevuze recap.

Because we're in town," says Maggie, "It would take them two hours to get here. They can only get to you fast if you're in some remote place."

That's for sure.

"Nicole plays me like a total ditz," whines Arianna.

My Prevuze-like reply would have been, "And your point is....?"

Buff bods, fan-base riots, uncontrolable laughter from offices around the world - such is the bounty provided by Prevuze on this #FF (Finally Friday).

Word verification: Have an untra special weekend everyone.

2:31 PM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

Thanks Prev for the recap. Loved the EJ and Sami pics, esp. the one about EJ's hard muscle! LOL!
I wish the EJami's WOULD drag Will off stage, or at least ship him off to Sout America to go on a wildlife expedition with this buddy Rafe. Will liked living in Switzerland. I'm sure South America has it's charms.

5:31 PM  
Anonymous Kiren said...

LOOOOVEd the ep! Not just cause of the EJami...mostly because of the EJami..

Love ya Prevuze!!

10:41 AM  

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