Monday, February 02, 2009

A Horizontal Frame Of Mind

Subtitle: I Gave Up Thinking – Cold Turkey

We pan back from a pool table. Stephanie stands poised to make her shot and she gives Phillip a pool lesson. Phillip always wanted to know how to make a sissy-girly shot.

EJ rushes into the clinic and finds Nicole and Miss Junior-Junior. Nicole smiles when he comes in and announces, "It's a girl!" Baker watches. Miss Junior-Junior cries her lungs out. "She may be your daughter," says EJ, "but she sure has a lot in common with Samanther."

Sami nurses Rafe. He regains consciousness. Sami tells him everything is OK. Rafe insists it's not. He flashes back to Sleazo figuring out she's at the convent and escaping.

Patch and Bo rush to the hospital.

Meanwhile, Officer Hope has full control of the hostage situation, "Salem PD! No one is going anywhere. We're having the donuts delivered." Sleazo has Kayla in a chokehold and tells her if anyone makes a move, Kayla dies.

Lexie stumbles into the scene as Sleazo tells Hope to lose the gun. Salem cops are good at that. Hope slowly sets the gun on the floor. Lexie calls Roman and tells him what's going on. "I'm on my way," says Roman, "as soon as I finish my beer."

Sleazo demands a way out. Hope begs him to let Kayla go. Sleazo refuses.

Phillip and Stephanie decide they'd rather do something other than play pool. "What do you have in mind," asks Stephanie.

"It starts out vertically," says Phillip, "and then I'll put you in a horizontal frame of mind."

Stephanie figures it out, "You're asking me to dance." Stephanie's as sharp as a tack. One that just got run over by a locomotive.

EJ thinks their daughter is beautiful, "But she actually resembles someone..." Nicole stares.

Rafe tells Sami they aren't safe. He loses consciousness. The nuns join Sami, who continues to panic. Amazingly, sister Mary Whoozits is a registered nurse. She says they have to get him to a hospital, but Sami says they can't do that.

Roman meets Lexie who fills him in on the situation.

The Sleazo standoff continues. Hope says, "You want a hostage, take me, OK?"

Sleazo yells, "What you're gonna do is find me a way out of here, NOW!"

Phillip... Stephanie... still vertical. Stephanie tells him, "I always thought you were hot... smart... funny... equipped with interchangeable parts..." Phillip shuts her up with a kiss.

EJ sees a birthmark on the kid, "I've only seen something like that on one other person."

Sami of course thinks this is all her fault. The nuns want her to calm down. She tells them to get with the panic program and continues to blither. She begs sister Mary W to do everything she can before going to the deathtrap known as Salem Hospital.

Hope tries to talk Sleazo into giving up. Sleazo demands five million dollars and transportation to a country that doesn't show DOOL.

Nicole is relieved to hear EJ thinks their daughter looks like him. "Well," she says, "since you're prettier than most of the women in town, I guess that's a good thing." EJ thanks Baker. He asks about complications and Baker flashes back to all the problems, then to the switcheroo.

"There was a complication," confesses Nicole, "One you should know about."

Apparently Sister Mary Whoozits had plenty of antibiotics on hand and decides that and prayer should take care of Rafe. Sami tells her she is a miracle worker and she is grateful. Whoozits leaves and Sami tells Sister Teresa she doesn't think they are safe there. Sister Teresa decides to hide Sami, "We have just the place for you. We call it the cone of silence."

Sleazo demands Hope show him a way out.

Prevuze

Roman calls in the cavalry, which is good, since calling in the Salem PD would be useless. Hope negotiates. Bo and Patch sneak up behind Sleazo.

Trigger-happy Hope tells Sleazo to give it up.

BANG!

DOWN goes Kayla.

BANG!

DOWN goes Sleazo.

Patch grabs Kayla.

"OMG! What have I done," whimpers Annie Oakley.

"Nice shootin' ma'am," says Patch, "One more bullet and the Red Cross could bring a couple mops and fill its monthly blood quota."

Nicole tells EJ their daughter wasn't breathing when she was born, "I nearly lost my mind. Fortunately, she came back. My mind didn't."

EJ hugs, smooches and comforts, "The important thing is you are here and we will be together for all the Days Of Our Lives." Baker assures EJ the baby is healthy. EJ wants to take Nicole and the baby to the hospital.

Nicole refuses, "No one touches me except Dr. Baker, unless I happen to be in an elevator."

Sister Teresa has a nice little padded room tucked away for Sami. They've taken Rafe there and he lies unconscious in bed. Sami asks for a moment alone with him. The nuns leave. Sami picks up the kid and tells Rafe how much she appreciates all he has done for her. She says she hopes to find a way to bring the little one home so EJ never knows she is his, "The only thing I will miss is you. I'm sure you'll be thrilled to get rid of me."

"Wrong again," says Rafe, who is obviously suffering from delirium.

Phillip... Stephanie... Still vertical. Stephanie zones. Phillip asks, "You aren't thinking are you?"

"No," says Stephanie, "I gave up thinking – cold turkey."

Phillip drools, "I'm having some thoughts."

"Bad boy...."

Phillip says, "I think I'm falling in love with you." Stephanie says she didn't see that coming. Phillip says he didn't tell her sooner because he was afraid of getting hurt, "I thought you might try to take me for a drive in a racecar."

Stephanie says, "I'm falling in love with you, too."

Let's recap... they both THINK they love the other. Phillip consults the guy manual for further instructions and comes up with the only logical thing to say, "My place?"

"Lead the way."

Nicole asks Baker to excuse them. He leaves and EJ explodes. Nicole works on him and convinces him not to take her and the kid to the hospital. Nicole asks him to bring Baker back in so she can express her gratitude. EJ says he doesn't like Baker and asks her not to take too long. EJ calls Baker back in and strolls into the hall carrying Miss Junior-Junior.

Nicole asks Baker to check on Mia.

Out in the hall, a nurse sees EJ carrying the bundle of joy, "You must be the father... It sure is a good thing the nun brought her in here. At least she wasn't alone for the birth. She was such a comfort."

Rafe tells Sami he heard everything she said. "Yeah, well," stammers Sami, "I'm hormonal so you have to take it with a grain of salt."

"I'll miss you, too," says Rafe, "I've grown to hate silence." Rafe says he thinks they still aren't safe. He grabs his phone and says he's calling reinforcements as well as her dad. Sami refuses to let him do that.

Note: Because of the late feed this morning and the fact we're on the road, there was a gap in our transmission. (For the record, we're at the Super Bowl as the guests of the Arizona Cardinals and we're in the ballroom at the hotel where we've been invited to the post-game party. No one has shown up yet, though.) Anyway, for the various interest groups in the audience, we're sure this gap contained the key scenes where Lucas called Sami and they exchanged thoughts of undying love and also where Patch stooped over the bleeding and dying Kayla and they rehashed all the Days Of Their Lives. I'm certain this was also the scene where we learned John and Marlena changed their minds about leaving and no doubt Jack and Jennifer returned to town, too. Sorry.

Sleazo lays cold and dead on the floor. Bo commands, "Get him outta here." They drag Sleazo's body out and also wheel out Kayla's gurney. Bo and Deadeye hug.

Phillip and Stephanie can barely make it in the door. He carries her upstairs. Things are now semi-horizontal.

Roman tells Bo he's sorry, but he has to turn this over to internal affairs. He leaves. Bo hugs the sharpshooter. Hope is shook, "I wasted one of my silver bullets." Bo tells her he is to blame, not her.

Uh-oh... it's a good thing Hope is out of ammunition, "You knew!"

Phillip... Stephanie... horizontal. Stephanie's phone rings. Phillip's sex drive is exceeded only by his drive to answer any phone that rings anywhere, anytime. He gets the phone and looks at it, "It's your dad."

"AAK," says Stephanie, "Don't tell him. If he knew, he'd kill me." Phillip hands her the phone.

"I got some bad news," says Patch, "There was an accident. Someone left Hope and a gun on the same planet together. Your mom has been shot."

Hope figures out Bo saw the shooting in a vision and grills him about it.

Rafe gets off the phone and tells Sami they caught the killer and he's dead, "It's over. We're safe." Sami goes into her depressive mode. She says she's not ready to go yet. She needs more time with Mia Junior.

Nicole pulls on her uber-tight jeans, which is the custom of all new mothers in Salem. EJ asks, "Do you want to nurse her before we go?"? Nicole says she'll do that later. EJ gets mushy about being a family and thanks her.

"I feel so blessed," says Nicole, "Now I have everything I ever wanted."


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14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nicole tells EJ "I nearly lost my mind" when the baby stopped breathing at birth...Uhhhh, wrong again Nicole!...You HAVE lost your mind! You just don't remember when it happened...it was a while ago, just around the time you lost your so called "miracle" baby...which you managed to replace with a strap-on rubber baby bump, and now with your boyfriend's baby-momma's child!

5:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds eventful! I hope somehow EJ will eventually piece together inconsistencies, etc., I would think the comment about the nun will come in to play down the line! Also looks like daddy-dearest Steve will be having something to say about Stephanie with Phillip, apparently they aren't aware of her dating him yet?? I do like these two together tho!

5:51 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Rafe tells Sami they aren't safe. He loses consciousness.

…and so does the audience.

Amazingly, sister Mary Whoozits is a registered nurse.

If a nun has a nursing degree, she isn’t sitting around a convent acting as an assistant to another nun. She’s at a hospital terrorizing the lay work force.

Sami of course thinks this is all her fault. The nuns want her to calm down.

Someone needs to spike Sami’s water with some Prozac.

"OMG! What have I done," whimpers Annie Oakley.

"Nice shootin' ma'am," says Patch, "One more bullet and the Red Cross could bring a couple mops and fill its monthly blood quota."


Good lord, DOOL is on a budget. I wonder how much a gallon of fake blood costs? To cover the expense, they may have to ship another veteran off to Switzerland.

"Yeah, well," stammers Sami, "I'm hormonal so you have to take it with a grain of salt."

DOOL needs to SORA Sami into menopause…no more hormones and no more babies. Instead Sami can deal with night sweats and hot flashes.

Note: Because of the late feed this morning and the fact we're on the road, there was a gap in our transmission.

Was it an 18 minute gap?

EJ asks, "Do you want to nurse her before we go?"? Nicole says she'll do that later.

…so EJ is expecting Nicole to become a card carrying member of the La Leche League. Since a lot of women opt not to breast feed, it makes absolutely no sense that Nicole would choose to lie about nursing Sami’s baby. Geez. It’s also a mystery to me why Sami hasn’t come up with a better plan to deal with her, make that, Mia’s baby. She’s spent months in the witless protection program doing nothing but playing Shoots and Ladders and trading inane insults with Rafe. Oh, I forgot. On many an occasion, she also caught Rafe prancing around the loft half naked. Anyway, she had plenty of time on her hands to come up with a reasonable plan to hide and then justify her completely unreasonable actions.

Well, I’m feeling the Cardinals’ pain this morning. I didn’t win any quarter in the football pool either. I guess it’s “wait ‘till next year” for both of us. Thanks for the great Monday morning update Prevuze!!

5:58 AM  
Blogger Klaus said...

Sami nurses Rafe
"Do you want to nurse her before we go?"
Yeah, ok. I'll stop.

EJ thinks their daughter is beautiful, "But she actually resembles someone..."
Yeah, a baby.

"Wrong again," says Rafe, who is obviously suffering from delirium.
lol. How he'll regret these words once they're in the cluster bomb known as Salem.

Let's recap... they both THINK they love the other.
As silly as it is, it's better than Chloe and Lucas who fell in love in about half the time of Stephanie and Philip.

(For the record, we're at the Super Bowl as the guests of the Arizona Cardinals and we're in the ballroom at the hotel where we've been invited to the post-game party. No one has shown up yet, though.)
Haha. I don't even care for football and that was hilarious.

Nicole pulls on her uber-tight jeans, which is the custom of all new mothers in Salem.
An she'll be just as energetic as ever too.

Since a lot of women opt not to breast feed, it makes absolutely no sense that Nicole would choose to lie about nursing Sami’s baby.
heh. I thought the same thing. Even without all the 'I WON'T BE YOUR SLAVE!' talk, it's believable.

If the show was written well, EJ wouldn't find out this early. Because he and Nicole promised to be completely honest all the time, he would confront her and she would lie (and if she could pull this off I'm sure she could figure out a lie) and the issue would be closed.

It should take happenstance to figure it out. He has no reason to think about such a bizarre and imaginative crime.

6:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought this was a Prevuze line and then I realized it must've really been said:
It starts out vertically," says Phillip, "and then I'll put you in a horizontal frame of mind."

Yuck!!! What a line !! Unbelievable.

I think Nicole will have an accident or something will happen where she will have to be examed, and it will be found out that she never gave birth.

7:01 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

If the show was written well, EJ wouldn't find out this early.

Klaus:

Since we "enjoy" proof on a daily basis that the show isn't well written, EJ will very soon find out about Nicole's deception in an incredibly bizzare manner. At last, there will be continuity. The storyline will be bizzare from the beginning to the end.

7:04 AM  
Blogger Klaus said...

I know Leslie, sometimes I'm just too optimistic about these things.

7:12 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

I think expecting Sami to come up with a baby explanation plan in nine (or more) months is too much. This is Sami we're talking about here. HAHAHA

Hope probably does have silver bullets, nicely etched with a dainty Fleur de Lis design.

LOL over Nicole squeezing into her tight jeans and the only way out of the hospital being the morgue. Speaking of that, Kayla better hope Dr. Dan Droolntouch shows up because otherwise her doctoring will be up to Lexie.

Great Prevuze on a groggy Monday morning. Thanks!

7:26 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

I needed this dose of Prevuze just to get me going this morning. The pictures always entertain. Sister Teresa was echoing the prayers of ALL the audience; the Mama Mia and Hope pictures were both hilarious. I particular got a laugh at the nerd description of "clueless".

I had one brief ICK! moment:
Sami nurses Rafe.

The prior paragraph was speaking of a mother holding a baby, so when I read this line a very disturbing image was the first thing that sprang to mind. Now that's all I can think about. LOLOL

8:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's have Mia want the baby back then we'll see what happens. And why would EJ make a comment to Nicole about nursing the baby? Let's see her pull that one off since she obviously pulled of the baby tummy thing-LOL. You know they do make fake ones for dads who want to bond with their kid so maybe that will be how she gets around the nursing issue too-LMAO.

10:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Applecheeks,
Guess great minds (or dirty ones) think alike cause I thought the same thing Uck Sami nursing Rafe.too much. c

11:27 AM  
Anonymous WingNut '75 said...

Sami nurses Rafe.

She already named the baby? I thought it was a girl...

Sleazo has Kayla in a chokehold and tells her if anyone makes a move, Kayla dies.

Can't we replace Kayla with Samantha and make that a promise? Everyone in the audience moves

Sleazo demands five million dollars and transportation to a country that doesn't show DOOL.

The audience joins him.

Sami picks up the kid and tells Rafe how much she appreciates all he has done for her. She says she hopes to find a way to bring the little one home so EJ never knows she is his, "The only thing I will miss is you. I'm sure you'll be thrilled to get rid of me."

Anybody NOT see Sami coming back to Salem with Rafe and them claiming the baby is theirs?

~~~ Crickets ~~~

I thought not.

Speaking of that, Kayla better hope Dr. Dan Droolntouch shows up because otherwise her doctoring will be up to Lexie.

Bulldog, I'm not sure which would be worse for the women of Salem - to have their doctoring done by the Chief-of-staph or to get a gunshot repair/gynecological exam done by Dr. Cop-A-Feel.

You know they do make fake ones for dads who want to bond with their kid so maybe that will be how she gets around the nursing issue too

Haven't you guys ever seen "The Hand That Rocks The Cradle"? Nicole has obviously been pumping breast milk since she had her miscarriage with this eventuality in mind. Thus, she is still producing milk and will be able to nurse the baby without a problem.

For the record, we're at the Super Bowl as the guests of the Arizona Cardinals and we're in the ballroom at the hotel where we've been invited to the post-game party. No one has shown up yet, though.

They're all still glued to their TV sets waiting for the last play to be reviewed and the ball given back to the Cardinals for one last Hail-Mary play.

Oh well, at least the Super Bowl was entertaining...much more so than this (or any) episode of DOOL. Thanks again, Prevuze, for taking another one on the chin for the team.

11:29 AM  
Anonymous WingNut '75 said...

Oops - forgot...

Prevuze - the best sports blog on the Internet ®

11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wingnut....only one correction for you chief of staph comment. Lexie gave it up and Kayla is the present COS.......(why cause then Dena figured she would have one less character to write for) Put a former in front of it for Lexie and you'd be spot on.

1:52 PM  

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