Monday, July 14, 2008

Little Suzie Homemaker

Ho and Dope are back from romping through Paul's garbage. They didn't find much, but they do know that Paul ate a lot of cheese doodles. "I can't believe it," says Hope, "He sends a package and doesn't leave so much as a rubber band behind. He definitely thinks he's covered his tracks."

Bo says, "Except for one teeny-weeny bit of evidence sent to his daughter. A picture of himself with a piece of Salem River seaweed caught in his teeth, and a receipt for a certified package – complete with tracking number, weight and – WOW that's expensive!"

Hope glances over at the price, "It sure is. Kinda tacky of him to send it COD, wasn't it?"

"All we have to do," says Bo, "is figure out which post office he sent it from."

"I'll bet it was the US Post Office," says Hope.

Morgan and Phillip are on a mission to get the package. Morgan feels weak. Phillip supports her. Morgan whines, "What if there is something in that package I don't know about my father. What if it's something I don't want to know? What if he was a cheese doodle addict? "

Sami insists she won't let EJ get away with the court order. EJ 'splains what will happen if she takes Johnny. Sami tells him he is a true DiMera, "You are the son your father can be proud of."

"If that means I'll protect my family," says EJ, "Then I am very proud to be a DiMera." Sami rants and starts to huff out. EJ screams, "I'll be damned if I'm letting you leave this house with my son. Besides, I think he already came to his senses and ran away."

Sami whirls around and gives EJ that look women give men when there are no knives handy.

As Bo tries to get to the USPS website, the server goes down. Bo has a conniption. Hope makes fun of his rage, "Did you try an alternate router?"

"But it's the server that's down," protests Bo.

"I know," says Hope, "But we have to make it look like I know what the hell I'm talking about."
Hope jumps in and gives it a try. A few clicks here and there and Miss Einstein fixes things and she's into the website. Bo goes to work and Hope zones thinking about Morgan and what she is going through. Bo clicks, "Aha! The package is at the post office near Salem University – you know, the one where all the students go to be clerks after they get their degrees."

Hope corrects him, "That's not where Chelsea is going to work.

"Chelsea doesn't have a prayer of getting a degree," says Bo.


Morgan is in a funk. Compassionate Phillip wants to help any way he can. Morgan wants to be brave for Daddy Dearest. She says she used to be a daredevil and make him proud. Phillip wants to be her friend.

Morgan freaks, "OMG! What if THEY are here? What if THEY followed us to see what's in the package?"

Sami erupts. EJ threatens legal action. Sami thinks he bribed the judge to get the court order. She threatens to expose EJ and the judge. He wonders if she ever gets tired of playing the victim. She reminds him just a few days ago he professed his undying love for her.

"You were in bed with me one night," says EJ, "And then immediately threw yourself into Lucas' arms."

"Variety is the spice of life," says Sami.

"And after you threw yourself at Lucas," says EJ, "you told him you have all these feelings for me. How dare anyone suggest this might have something to do with your behavior? You can leave anytime but you're not taking my son."

"Why are you doing this," asks Sami.

"Because you told me you were taking the twins."

"I just want a family," whines Sami, "Not this fraud. You have tuned my life upside down from day one for your benefit. I want it to end."

EJ asks, "So you can start your life with Lucas?"

"He's the love of my life," says Sami.

"He's also in prison," says EJ, "The way you've been behaving lately, he probably thinks of it as protective custody."

Sami don' need no stinkin' EJ to tell her what's what. He thinks she's in need of a reality check.

"The package is at the post office," says Bo, "So maybe we'd better go to the post office." Hope can't get over what a brilliant detective he is. She looks up Morgan's number and calls.

Phillip assures Morgan no one followed them, "Speculation can only make you crazy."

"As you can see," says Morgan, "I've been doing a lot of speculating lately. But I'm not worried as long as you are here."

Sami thinks EJ's new attitude doesn't add up. He spent months telling her he cares and now he's not letting her have her sniveling, whining way. He's telling her to walk away but without the kids. She wants him to be civil. She says she can see through his act. She vows to never give up. EJ says, "I've wondered how long it would be until you started spreading your vicious lies. Will you tell the judge I hit my son like you did Lucas?"

Flashback to Sami and Lucas arguing. Sami asks him if he's going to get violent with her like he did with Will.

Sami vows to do whatever it takes to protect her children, even ship them off to their aunt and uncle in Switzerland so they don't have to be exposed to her shenanigans.

Phillip assures Morgan she will be fine. He sucks up and says he always respected Paul in spite of the friction between them. Morgan says her father wanted her to stay away from Phillip. She hands the clerk the ticket. Bertha looks at it and growls, "Sorry, honey. You're out of luck."

Hope says she can't get Morgan on the phone. Bo calls Judge Kravitz and tells him he needs to intercept a package at the post office and see what's inside it, "Could you work up one of those thingies for me... Yeah, that's it... a warrant."

Emily the baby sitter calls Hope, "Ms. Brady, Ciara is starting to call me 'Mommy.' I think you'd better pick her up before she completely forgets you and Bo." Hope leaves.

Big Bertha tells Morgan the package isn't in the office, "They already attempted to deliver it." Morgan argues with her. Bertha stands her ground, "It's probably being returned to the sender."

Phillip intervenes, "In that case, I don't suppose you could tell me if the wrapper was waterproof? " Bertha isn't helpful. Phillip asks her to go back and look and see if she can find the package. Bertha oozes off her chair and slowly creeps toward the storage area.

Morgan is impressed, "Phillip, that was amazing. What would I do without you?"

"You'd have Max and Nick hide the bodies."

Sami isn't making much headway, so she tries the "we both want the same thing" route, "We both want to protect the children." EJ says her recent behavior has been disconcerting. And messy.

EJ thinks Sami has some serious anger problems, "This environment is not conducive to the raising of a child. It's not the life I want for my son." Sami vows to love and care for him. EJ says, "I know you love him as much as you hate me. I think your hatred for me will eventually lead to resentment toward Johnny."

Sami erupts, "You listen to me and you listen good. I love my son and no one could ever undermine that. Except me."

Ever so slowly, Bertha comes back to the counter carrying the package. Morgan signs for it. She tells Phillip she doesn't want to open it there. Phillip tries to act patient as they leave.

EJ and Sami claim they both love Johnny. Sami asks him to tear up the court order. He tells her this isn't magic and she can't make it go away that easily.

Bo walks into the post office and asks for the package.

EJ tells Sami she's emotionally off the scale. She's impulsive and irrational, "You're not exactly a candidate for mother of the year, but if they threw garbage in major league baseball, you might be a candidate for the Cy Young award."

Chloe Demonstrates the proper "girl throw" technique. Note especially the nearly perfect sissy-poo-poo maneuver she makes with her left hand as she girly-pushes the object she is throwing.

"Well," says Sami, "Nicole won't exactly win the award for Little Suzie Homemaker."

EJ yells, "With Nicole... without Nicole does it really matter?"

Phillip and Morgan hit the pub. They order coffee and sit down. Phillip puts his hand on Morgan's, "Take your time. Open it when you're ready. Are you ready now? Huh? Huh? Are you ready? "

Bertha tells Bo Morgan just picked up the package. Bo calls Hope and tells her Morgan already picked up the package. "OK," says Hope, "I've been with Ciara for five minutes now. I can't take it any longer. I'll ask Caroline to watch her while I help you look for Morgan."

Morgan asks Phillip to open the package.

Sami doesn't think Nicole is an appropriate caregiver. EJ thinks Sami is being dramatic. Sami thinks Nicole is a bad role model. "I think Nicole would look after a child like she looks after her dog," says EJ. Sami goes into uncontrollable laughter. "This is serious," says EJ, "Anyway, I've only been with her once."

"Yes," says Sami, "And that image is burned forever in my scarred psyche."

"When I saw her the next day," says EJ, "she blew me off."

Sami gasps, "You mean she has standards!" EJ says he will be with someone whether it's Nicole or someone else and that woman will be in Johnny's life.

Phillip is all too glad to help. Hope and Ciara walk into the pub. Less than a nanosecond later, Hope asks Caroline to watch Ciara while she helps Bo track down Morgan. Caroline shows her Phillip and Morgan sitting over in a corner. Hope starts to call Bo, but he walks in and sees Morgan and Phillip sitting there with a package. "That may be the package," says Bo. Once again, Hope is blown away by his amazing detective skills.

Bo walks up to the table and tells Morgan she can't open it. Phillip tells Bo to back off – concerned Phillip doesn't want to traumatize the poor girl. Bo says this is a police matter now. He digs into his pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper, "I have a war... uh... this... thing. And you have an attitude."

"At least I know what an attitude is," says Phillip.

Hope jumps in, "Phillip, you should leave. This is police business."

"In that case," says Phillip, "You and Bo should probably leave, too." Phillip leaves. Bo softens and suggests they go to the station.

Sami doesn't envy whomever EJ winds up with. EJ says whoever it is, she will be a big part of his son's life. Sami says she is the only mother her son will ever need.

"If all mothers are like you," says EJ, "I’m sure you're the only one he will ever want." EJ says he used to be happy before he came to Salem and met Sami. Sami suggests he go back to that life. He says she might get her wish, "I left a message for Edmund and my mother and told them to expect me. I'm taking Johnny with me."

Mt. Samisuvius blows, "LIKE HELL YOU ARE! YOU ARE NOT TAKING MY SON ANYWHERE!" She smacks him in the chest.

"That's great," says EJ, "I'm sure my cuts and bruises will impress the judge. Good night." EJ walks away. Sami continues her eruption and insists he's not taking her son.

"You got what you wanted," says EJ, "Congratulations."

Back at the cop shop, Bo asks Morgan to open the package. She opens it and finds big bucks and a letter. Morgan starts to read, "My darling, this should be enough to give you freedom from your mother." Morgan breaks down, "I can't go on..." Bo tells her to take all the time she needs. But he'll keep the money. Hope leaves with Morgan. Bo peeks inside the package.

Phillip is with Victor, "I'm not sure you can hear me. I don't know whom else to turn to. I may have really screwed up this time. I did something that can destroy me – and the family."

Bo digs into the package. He finds a recorder and turns it on. He hears Phillip's voice, "Damn it Paul, do what I tell you or I will kill you."

Bo grimaces, "Aww, Phillip!"


Previews
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You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks Prevuze!

Good Stuff Today! Could Sami and EJ be anymore Scarlett and Rhett? I just thought I was reading the scene from Gone with the Wind! I am so glad EJ has given up on Sami and all her crap! Go EJ! Go EJ!

3:51 AM  
OpenID nolebucgrl said...

I think I'm getting whiplash from this EJami stuff. One day she has feelings and the next she's shrieking like a harpy how she hates him. I can't keep up.

Loving the Bo/Philip interaction however, I hope they keep it up.

5:33 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

"I'll be damned if I'm letting you leave this house with my son. Besides, I think he already came to his senses and ran away."

Now that she’s old enough to baby sit, he’s probably hanging with Ciara.

"He's also in prison," says EJ, "The way you've been behaving lately, he probably thinks of it as protective custody."

Sounds like Lucas actually had a plan. At least, he didn’t have lemon pie thrown in his kisser.

Morgan says her father wanted her to stay away from Phillip.

…and Morgan has so much respect for her father’s opinion that she is leaning all over Phillip for help and comfort. How long has it been since the goons dumped Paul’s body in the drink? If he wasn’t wearing cement shoes, wouldn’t the body have made land fall by now? What’s with Bo and Hope dumpster diving in Paul’s digs? Everyone on this soap seems to live in a hotel. Wouldn’t housekeeping have removed the trash? Morgan and Phillip finally get a hold of the mystery package and where do they go to open it...the Pub!!! I guess Morgan really didn’t want any privacy.

Sami either needs to be medicated or take a trip down the yellow brick road in search of a brain. Yet, as soon as she shows any interest, EJ will be rushing back to her. Sigh.

You’re right Prevuze. Chloe certainly doesn’t look like Roger Clemens mowing down a batter but then again Chloe probably isn’t on ‘roids. She definitely ought to consider some clear and cream. Barry Bonds just might have some he’s willing to share.

5:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wish EJ would have said Frankly my dear I dont give a damn. LOL Everything EJ said was true. Sami has been unstable and out of control these last few months. I wouldnt want my son with someone like that either. Getting in food fights with Chloe. She acts like an emotionally stunted 5 year old.

5:54 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

You’re right Prevuze. Chloe certainly doesn’t look like Roger Clemens mowing down a batter but then again Chloe probably isn’t on ‘roids.

‘roids - You must mean steroids. If you mean androids, I think with all of Phillip's fake body parts, he qualifies as one.

6:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"She acts like an emotionally stunted 5 year old."

I'm insulted by that remark

- an emotionally stunted 5 year old

6:14 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Thank YOU Bulldog. I've been wondering what that hunk of junk around Max's neck is. LOLOL

Loved all the pictures. Thought Lucas looked a bit like Whistler's Mother in that one pose. HAHAHA

And, any Prevuze with a moving picture is stellar. One question, is "sissy poo poo" a new, technical sports term? I'm not sure I've ever heard the sports commentators use that one.

Leslie, I thought the same thing about Morlip's trip to the Brady Pub! She was worried that the cops were following her to get the package so they head straight to the BRADY PUB!?

Lot's of good Prevuisms to choose from today:

Hope makes fun of his rage, "Did you try an alternate router?" "But it's the server that's down," protests Bo. "I know," says Hope, "But we have to make it look like I know what the hell I'm talking about."

Hard to do when the writers never know what the hell they are talking about. Heaven forbid they should ask someone. LOL

"He's also in prison," says EJ, "The way you've been behaving lately, he probably thinks of it as protective custody."

Put that way, Prevuze, maybe the twins would be better off with Lucas in the pen.

Last, but not least, my biggest HUH?! moment for today:

"I left a message for Edmund and my mother and told them to expect me.

So Susan & Edmund are alive and well and never bothered to tell anyone that Stephano had gotten his hands on Elvis Jr lo these many moons ago?? What is up with THAT?

Monday morning is a little more bearable now, thanks Prevuze!

6:38 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

One question, is "sissy poo poo" a new, technical sports term? I'm not sure I've ever heard the sports commentators use that one.


Apparently you've never watched Clay Aiken in concert.

7:04 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Such crack police investigating by the only two cops on the force! Morgan didn't even get to see the rest of what was in the box. And it wasn't due to any brilliant police work they even found Morlip. Hope just happened to be there dumping Ciara off on poor Caroline and Bo must've needed his coffee fix.

LOL over Hope being with Ciara for five minutes and that was enough and "I bet it was the US Post Office." HAHAHA

Any time there is a moving picture it's the highlight of my morning. Thanks for the pick-me-up on a Monday, Prevuze!

7:12 AM  
Anonymous Scolly said...

"Apparently you've never watched Clay Aiken in concert." OOOhhhh, low blow, Prev! LOL!

7:13 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Curse my sense of logic and reality, but the US Post Office is governed by the FEDERAL government.

For Bope to get a warrant to intercept a package, they would have to go before a FEDERAL judge and have just cause, (ie more than just a "hunch").

Now for the sake of argument lets say they did have a FEDERAL warrant; the package has been DELIVERED to the addressee, in this case Morgan.
For Bope to now demand the package they would have to get a search warrant from a LOCAL judge.
The same warrant that allowed them to pick up the package does not allow them to take the package from Morgan.

Maybe Higley and company should take a few minutes and watch an episode or two of a little NBC show called:
LAW AND ORDER!!!

7:27 AM  
OpenID nolebucgrl said...

[quote]How long has it been since the goons dumped Paul’s body in the drink? If he wasn’t wearing cement shoes, wouldn’t the body have made land fall by now?[/quote]

Oh, Leslie, I like to think that Paul's corpse is being dragged around the Salem harbor by Shelle, still unable to navigate their way out to sea.

7:44 AM  
Blogger SimplySusan said...

"I like to think that Paul's corpse is being dragged around the Salem harbor by Shelle, still unable to navigate their way out to sea."

ROFLMAO!!!!!!

I like to think so too. ;)

9:29 AM  
Blogger Suz said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:15 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

What does ROFLMAO mean? I know it sounds stupid, but I can't figure it out.
We want Lumi back!
I really like the chemistry between Nicole and EJ. THey make a good couple, as do Ava adn Jawn! Not sure what I feel about Chloe/Phillip/Morgan~
AM anxious to see how Lucas pulls this off if he has to negotiate his way out of jail for his eye witness testimony~who will get the blame? Phillip or Jawn for Pauls' wet whereabouts!!

11:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ROFLMAO = ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY ASS OFF

11:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For Bope to get a warrant to intercept a package, they would have to go before a FEDERAL judge and have just cause, (ie more than just a "hunch").
***********************
Yes. And for Chelsea to be an Occupational Therapist, she would have had to graduate from an accredited list of courses specially designed to educate her in what occupational therapist means. Chelsea has barely been to two classes. Let's check out her work history/experience....one night as a prostitute, community service in the medical records department at the hospital, skanky flight attendant for Touch the Sky airlines....ok, so I guess community service in the medical records and serious spit soccer with a hot surgeon will get you any position you want at that hospital. Poor Victor is probably thinking....kill me now.
And, here we go again with Chelsea being all broken hearted and blue cause grandpa is dying. Like she ever cared anything about Grandpa when she couldn't use him for something. She was the same way when OMB died. Poor Chelsea lost her grandfather Shawn. All the special times they did share. You hardly ever saw them together much less heard her speak of him. C'mon.
And, can we PLEASE give Morgan a muscle relaxer for those shoulders. She acts like she needs her pacifier.
I'm glad somebody else saw the Scarlet/Rhett similarities in Sami and EJ besides me. Watch Gone With The Wind. Scarlet was just like Sami. She loved him when she needed him. But, when he held a mirror up to her face and let her see who she really was, she would curse the very ground he walked on and claimed she never wanted to see him again.
On a positive note, wasn't Rolf cute in his apron with flour all over it?

12:01 AM  
Anonymous SaggyBaskets said...

Shelle, still in the harbor trying to find their way out. I'll be laughing at that one all day long.

Sami, you'll be a Brady until the day you die but I'm glad to see you took your marriage that seriously.

Rhett and Scarlet? OMG are they ever! But just like Scarlett, Sami doesn't realize she's thrown over Rhett for Ashley until it's too late and he really doesn't give a damn. :( <---which is a frowny face in case someone doesn't know.

2:06 AM  

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