Monday, July 07, 2008

Two-Timing Jerk

Max makes his call as Stephanie watches. A girl on the other end answers and says, "Dad? It's so early for you to call."

Max holds the phone up and whispers, "Who is she," as if Stephanie would have a clue. Stephanie shakes her head and Max says hello.

The voice asks, "Who are you?"

It's a hot time in Elevator #2. As they writhe, Nicole imagines coming home from her wedding. EJ carries her in to the lobby as Sami insists he put the tramp down. Nicole tells Sami they are married now. Sami accuses her of not knowing the manning of real love. "EJ is mine," insists Sami as Nicole flashes her ring.

"No, Samantha," says EJ, "And thank you for turning me down. I found the love of my life." EJ carries Nicole into an elevator as Sami gets a dose of silly string.

We fade back to the action in Elevator #2.

Sami calls Roman from the Salem Inn. Roman tells her "The whole power grid went down."

Roman tells her the city crews have been dispatched to work on it, "So it could be weeks before we have power again." Roman invites her to the pub, where Caroline is setting up a shelter. Sami says she may go to the Brady party instead. She hangs up and asks about the people trapped in the elevators. The cop tells her they will be out soon. Sami calls Lucas and gets voicemail, "Where are you, Lucas?"

Meanwhile, over in Elevator #1 the two navel-gazers take advantage of their declothesification and... gaze. Lucas tells Chloe she's incredible. He never knew being trapped could feel so good. He hopes they never get out of there. He also tells her he's through with Sami. Chloe asks if he is sure. Lucas has never been so sure of anything. He says he gave Sami another chance after walking in on her and EJ only because he had to be there for Allie, Will and Johnny.

Chloe says, "Lucas, you've gotta stop doing this to yourself."

Lucas says, "I'm through. I don't wanna talk about it any more." What a crock. The last time Lucas didn't want to talk about something was right after he had his tonsils removed. Chloe moves in. Her tongue leads the way.

Max stammers and asks who the girl is. She tells him he's the one who called her and wants to know why Max has her father's phone. Then she hangs up. Stephanie is excited about the prospect of Max having a sister. Max and Stephanie wonder about how many siblings he might have. Stephanie thinks he should focus on finding this girl. Max checks Trent's recent calls and finds that all Trent's contacts only have initials instead of full names. Roman arrives. He says he needs Max' help. Translation: Roman has hit the bottom of the barrel.

Elevator #2 has a disaster. They are out of champagne. EJ asks if Nicole is OK, "You're very quiet. It's not like you. Did I say something to upset you?" Nicole tells him he's perfect. She starts to say something and then tells him to never mind. She says she's not used to attention from men and doesn't want to read too much into what happened. But he reminded her how special making love is. She thanks him.

"Think nothing of it," says EJ, "It was my pleasure."

Sami tries again, but can't reach Lucas. She remembers finding the ankle monitor contraption and then telling Lucas he can trust her.

Roman thinks the fact they have air conditioning in the pub is a good reason to go green. The fact they have beer in the pub is a good reason to stay there. Roman wants to get the word out that the pub is a shelter. Max says he will keep the pub open. Roman tells him to call if there is trouble. He leaves to coordinate disaster relief down at the station. Stephanie apologizes for bringing up the possibility Max might have other siblings. Max hopes the girl can shed some light on other secrets. He worries that she will tell Trent someone has his phone and decides to trace the number and see where the girl lives. Suddenly, Max clams up. Stephanie tells him having a sister could be a good thing, "Max, you might have a sister!"

Max says, "Yeah, and on this show, we're lucky it's not you."

EJ and Nicole hug as the elevator lurches.

The doors open as EJ puts his shirt on. Sami watches him come out and runs up to him, "EJ, are you..." Sami sees Nicole, sees EJ buttoning his shirt and puts two and two together.

Uncomfortable EJ says, "Uh... Samantha."

Sami gasps, "In an elevator?"

"Life has its ups and downs," says EJ."

Max remembers confronting Trent and then remembers Trent's bribe. It's literally the longest flashback in the history of TV.

Max and Stephanie prepare the pub for the onslaught of the dehydrated masses. "Beer sales will go through the roof," says Max. He goes into a rage, "Trent's little story gets to me. That man deserted me twice."

"I guess he has some sense," says Stephanie. Max wants answers.

Sami goes completely berserk, "You just did it in an elevator! How disgusting is that?!"

EJ decides to blame Sami, "None of this would have happened if you hadn't forced my hand. Really. You told me we were through. You told me to move on."

Sami says she is happy for both of them and happy she has a real love with Lucas, "He would never be caught dead doing some tramp in an elevator."

Meanwhile, Lucas does some tramp in... you get the idea. Chloe thinks it was fantastic. She wonders if he feels like he betrayed Sami. He doesn't. Lucas thinks Sami betrayed him when she slept with EJ. Lucas tells her when the doors open he'll just sneak out, failing to see there might be a slight flaw or two in his plan.

Stephanie thinks Max might not know the whole story. Max wonders how Trent could have thrown him away twice. He remembers his mom crying because she hated Trent, "She cried and then she died."

"I think maybe you're leaving out a few details there," says Stephanie. Max says all the memories about living with his mother were about being scared for her. He spent his young life wondering why he was being punished. He obsessed after the Bradys rescued him. Stephanie reminds him he was better off without Trent. Max says the phone call has brought all these feelings up again. He wonders how the girl can love Trent.

Sami ramps it up, "YOU TWO-TIMING JERK!" EJ refuses to apologize. In the background, the firemen, police and hotel guests enjoy the show. Nicole admits they had sex and says it wouldn't have happened if Sami weren't so stupid. "Good," says Sami, "I'm glad you had sex. I don't want him. I want Lucas."

Lucas, however, is preoccupied. Chloe freaks about Lucas getting caught. Lucas insists he learned how to blend in while he was in prison, "If you don't blend in, someone sticks a shiv in your back. Or in my case, duct tapes your mouth." The intercom goes off and a voice tells them they will manually lower the elevator and get them out.

Chloe turns to Lucas, "Time to start blending."

Lucas tries the trap door in the ceiling and finds it's locked. Chloe says, "In real life those things are always locked. Didn't you see that video on YouTube?" Chloe says she will pretend to panic when the doors open and Lucas can sneak out. The elevator lurches. "You know when I said I'd pretend to panic," asks Chloe, "I don't think I'm gonna have to pretend."

Max and Stephanie cover old ground. Stephanie says, "When I was growing up my mom had a huge hole in her heart and so did I. Since I'm with you now, the hole is in my head." Stephanie compares Max' situation to Bo's but Max won't buy it because Bo was an adult when he found out Victor was his father. Same day Max hopes to reach adulthood, too.

Chloe panics and gets on the intercom. She begs them to hurry. Lucas tells her to cool it. Chloe snaps, "Cool it? What am I supposed to say – slow down my rescue while I hide a convict?"

Lucas says, "Yeah well, my motto is 'Never give up.'"

"Oh," says Chloe, "I thought it was 'Never shut up.'"

Max decides Trent shouldn't know he's investigating. He also thinks Stephanie is right and says he won't stop until he gets to know his sister, "If I get hurt I've got you to take it out on. How did you get to be so wise?"

"Hanging around idiots like you just makes me seem wise," says Stephanie.

"There is only one problem," says Max, "What do I do now?"

"You're supposed to be the genius," says Stephanie, "But I'd suggest calling her."

EJ asks for a word with Sami. Sami declines and starts to leave, but bumps into Roman on the way out. He tells her he's there to help with the people stuck in the elevators.

EJ tells Nicole she was quite something handling Sami. He thinks it's nice she went to bat for him, "We both know this could have happened a long time ago. Some things are worth waiting for. Every time I'm in an elevator I will think of you."

Elevator #1 moves. Chloe panics as they pry the doors open. She screams as Lucas bolts out and bumps into Sami. Sami gasps, "Lucas! What are you doing here?" Lucas tells her he has to go.

Nicole sees him across the room, "Lucas!" The cops descend on Lucas like white on rice. Roman joins them, "Lucas, why is the concept of house arrest so hard for you to understand?"

Max wants to find a more indirect way to contact his potential sister. He wants to be prepared. "Whatever you decide to do," says Stephanie, say it with her, "I'll be there for you." Smooch.

They read Lucas his rights. Sami begs Roman not to do this. Roman wonders how Lucas managed to get the ankle bracelet off. Sami tries to defend him, "He must have left the house because of an emergency – the blackout, right?"

"It doesn't matter," says Roman, "You know what you've done, Lucas? You've gotten yourself back in prison for the remainder of your term." They haul Lucas off.

"NO," screams Sami, "You can't do this." Blather-bawl-sob-sniffle.


Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

17 Comments:

Anonymous Leslie said...

Roman tells her the city crews have been dispatched to work on it, "So it could be weeks before we have power again."

Sounds about right since the power company should be working on the grid.

Declothesification

Another classic word found in the Prevuze lexicon.

Chloe moves in. Her tongue leads the way.

Oh, Prevuze, I can only hope that’s an exaggeration!

EJ asks if Nicole is OK, "You're very quiet. It's not like you. Did I say something to upset you?"

Like calling her Samanthar? I don’t care how gorgeous he is…I believe I would probably find that more than little off putting.

He leaves to coordinate disaster relief down at the station.

Let’s see, the power’s been out long enough for EJ/Nicole/Lucas/Chloe to have elevators quickies, and Roman is labeling this a disaster? Other than the need to hose down the elevators, this isn’t much of a disaster. Does Roman want to call out the National Guard? Other than providing an excuse for elevator nookie, why make the lack of electricity anything more than a minor inconvenience? Give me a break!

Lucas says, "Yeah well, my motto is 'Never give up.'"

"Oh," says Chloe, "I thought it was 'Never shut up.'"


Ain’t that the truth!

Chloe with carpet burns and Kate in need of elevator sex…HAHAHA!!!!! Great Prevuze!!!

5:36 AM  
OpenID nolebucgrl said...

Oh great, screaming, crying Sami. Haven't seen enough of that to last a lifetime or anything! Sigh.

For supposedly being a genius, Max is sure a dope most of the time.

5:38 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Declothesification?

PREVUZE! Have you been hanging out with President Dubbya lately???


Max decides Trent shouldn't know he's investigating. He also thinks Stephanie is right and says he won't stop until he gets to know his sister

Riiiight Max. Because actually talking to Trent about things might actually lead to . . . oh I don't know UNDERSTANDING!

They read Lucas his rights. Sami begs Roman not to do this. Roman wonders how Lucas managed to get the ankle bracelet off. Sami tries to defend him, "He must have left the house because of an emergency – the blackout, right?"

"It doesn't matter," says Roman, "You know what you've done, Lucas? You've gotten yourself back in prison for the remainder of your term." They haul Lucas off.

"NO," screams Sami, "You can't do this." Blather-bawl-sob-sniffle.


Okay now I am officially OFF the Sami fan club bus.
Lucas is in an elevator with Chloe, not to mention he has knowingly violated his parole, and Sami is defending him??
Congratulations DOOL, in the space of 18 months you have turned a strong woman, who would stop at nothing to get what she wanted, who knew instinctively how to read people and manipulate them, and even though her motives weren't always pure, she at least had the courage of her convictions, and turned her into:

SUPER WHINEY WOMAN!!!
all she needs now is for Stepanie to tie on a mask and cape and be her faithful companion:
CRYBABY GIRL!
and we got us a comic book, friends and neighbors!

How do you spell pathetic?

S-A-M-A-N-T-H-A

6:58 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

One correction, Deb..that's "S-A-M-A-N-T-H-E-R" HAHAHAHA

Evilgenius, LOL over the Beta format. I hope it is then maybe we'll never see the old Squints return.

I see Prevuze is well-rested after the Wimbledum break and back in rare form. Loved the Kate and Chlucas pictures. Thanks for getting us back into the groove on a Monday! :D

7:14 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Chloe's carpet burn - I was pretty much thinking the same thing. And in Nicole's case you can add a major case of whisker burn.

Evilgenius and Bulldog do it again!!

Declothesification

Prevuze must be a whiz at scrabble – as long as opponents don’t insist on verifying words in a dictionary. LOLOLOL

Lucas says, "I'm through. I don't wanna talk about it any more." What a crock. The last time Lucas didn't want to talk about something was right after he had his tonsils removed.

You sure it even happened then?

Roman goes to coordinate disaster relief down at the station.

That station has been a disaster for years, not sure what they can do about it now. HAHAHAHAHA I crack myself up. Actually, TWO hours of a blackout and they call it a disaster?? That doesn’t even make a decent “incident”.

"There is only one problem," says Max, "What do I do now?" "You're supposed to be the genius," says Stephanie, "But I'd suggest calling her."

I’d suggest he go to the library (or Internet), find a reverse telephone director, punch in the number and see whose name come up.

She says she's not used to attention from men and doesn't want to read too much into what happened.

Since when has Nicole NOT gotten attention from men? Men have been hitting on her since she was a drugged up porn queen.

I'm so glad to see Prevuze isn't suffering from any post-holiday slump. Thanks!

7:35 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Declothesification?

PREVUZE! Have you been hanging out with President Dubbya lately???


If you think I've been hanging out with George, you misunderestimate me. But we do have it on good authority that he reads Prevuze.

Laura translates.

7:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prevuze II?

8:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does Sami actually know that Lucas was in the elevator with Chloe or was she turned around and then Lucas bumped into her? May explain her defending him. He and Chloe were the ones I wanted her to bust.

8:27 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Prevuze II?

We always try to have Prevuze II posted by Noon, EST, so technically, we still have some time. Today, however we have had issues getting the video to post. We'll continue to work on it.

8:31 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Does Sami actually know that Lucas was in the elevator with Chloe or was she turned around and then Lucas bumped into her?

I don't believe Sami saw Lucas come out of the elevator with Chloe.

8:33 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Does Sami actually know that Lucas was in the elevator with Chloe or was she turned around and then Lucas bumped into her?

I don't believe Sami saw Lucas come out of the elevator with Chloe


Didn't she hear Chloe scream?
No matter, it will come out sooner or later that Luloe/Chlucas (pick one) hooked up.

8:46 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Deb --
I like Chlucas -- kind of reminds me of "dumb cluck"!

9:41 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

Please oh please bring back the Samantha we know and love. Check out this youtube tptb if you need a reminder!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKTa7f0Wzi8&feature=related

12:41 PM  
Anonymous Theresa said...

Raunchy elevator sex.... I bet they're gonna have to Frebreeze those suckers out! PPPPP UUUUU

Crosby Stills Nash and Young said it best..."If you can't be with the one you love...love the one you're with." Unfortunately for Nicole she was not at the Salem pub aka Bum Shelter.

WTH is up with that??? The frickin electricty was just out? They need a shelter? LMAO What a bunch of pu...err wussies!

3:03 PM  
Anonymous CherryNose said...

Thankfully I can still read Prevuze because today, Dena has killed DAYS for me & it has been removed from the old tivo.

6:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Geez... EJ real classy. NOT!! Sami get a brain.

10:04 PM  
Blogger Lina said...

I found this site called http://URAjerk.com maybe you can use it. It seems to help get me through the issues of dealing with some of the jerks I know. At least I can vent about these jerks, plus I get a kick out of sending them some cards.

11:05 AM  

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