Friday, July 11, 2008

Horn Dog

Kate and Daniel continue their little conversation in the hospital. Kate tells him, "Chelsea is very upset about her grandfather. I'm glad she has you to lean on.

"I tried leaning on her once," says Daniel, "But leaning on a toothpick is very uncomfortable."

"All I want is for her to be happy," says Kate, "And she can never find out what happened between us... Because it would kill her."

Chloe tells Nancy about Lucas going back to prison, among other things. Nicole comes up and overhears as Chloe gets to the elevator part. Nicole erupts, "SAY WHA..." Chloe hangs up and gives her a look. Nicole pours it on, "YOU LITTLE TRAMP!"

Nicole follows her into the pub, "Do you call your mommy every time you have sex?" Chloe orders her to go away. Nicole just can't stop, "It is true! You and Lucas had sex!"

Strategically seated at the booth beside them is none other than Samantha Gene. Their conversation gets her attention, "WHAT? NO YOU DIDN'T!"

"You heard it from the horse's mouth," says Nicole.

Sami has a bigger stroke than Victor, "Chloe is making this up!"

Chloe is all too happy to spill the beans about her romp with Lucas. Sami accuses her of lying. "If you don't believe me, ask Lucas," says Chloe.

Nicole is helpful, "It's true. Everyone knows Lucas is a horn dog. When we were married..."

Chloe jumps in, "You've been-two timing Lucas ever since he got out of prison. I needed a friend and so did Lucas. He came to the Salem Inn. I told him not to risk it but he came anyway. What was I supposed to do?"

"Apparently not Lucas," says Nicole. Sami lectures Chloe and blames her for Lucas having to go back to prison.

"You're playing Lucas and EJ like a puppets and have no one to blame but yourself for that," says Chloe.

Samantha selects her weapon carefully. She moulds proper amount of chowdah into a gooey ball and takes aim, "CHLOE... YOU BITCH!"

SPLAT!

Bo and Phillip are with Victor. Bo thinks the hospital is becoming his second home. "You've been through a lot," says Phillip, "I'm sorry about that."

"There is nothing to be sorry about," says Bo, "When Hope lives at your first home, it's a good thing to have a second home."

"Victor is asleep," says Phillip, "So whatever he had to tell us has to wait." He walks up to the bed, "It's not your time, Dad. I have a lot to learn, "You and I have had our differences lately, but it's because of me. I need you, Dad. Please don't leave me."

Bo vows not to give up. Dr. Beauregard assures Phillip Victor will make it.

Chelsea walks up to Daniel and Kate and wonders what they were talking about. Daniel rattles off something about Victor's condition, "Bottom line, he had a stroke."

"Could you put that in layman's terms so I could understand," asks Chelsea. Daniel tells her things could go either way. "You have to save him," she says.

Stale chowdah drips from Chloe's face and oozes down her dress. "YOU FRICKIN' PSYCHO!" She dips her hand into the garbage tray next to her and comes up with a missile to fire back. WHAP! Ladies and gentlemen, we have now moved to the level of a full fledged...

FOOD FIGHT!

Slop to right of them,
Crud to left of them,
Garbage in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with snot and swill,
Boldly they tossed and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Forged the two children.

Nicole stands and watches as globs of goo fly back and forth. Uncharacteristically, she is the only voice of reason, "Why would Lucas want either of you losers?"

Pandemonium reigns. In fact, Sami tosses a pan of demonium and insists, "I am not into EJ!"

"You are too," insists Chloe.

That does it. Sami gets the sign and checks the runner at third. It's the windup... the pitch... It's a high hard one right at Chloe's face. Chloe ducks just as EJ walks into the pub and... SPLURF! Right in the kisser!

Bo tells Phillip he was too young to remember Victor's first stroke, "He's a survivor. He always comes back. Even after he's dead. He's older now, but his family's behind him. He may survive in spite of that."

Phillip wonders if Victor knew he wasn't well, "He's been giving me more responsibility the last few months. He told me it's my company now. And then I let him down."

Chelsea vows to fall apart if Victor isn't OK. What a trooper. Daniel says he has to determine the extent of the damage and go from there. As he leaves he says he will keep them posted.

Chelsea thinks Daniel is the best, "But if you think so highly of Daniel, then why did you refuse to let him operate on you?"

"Don't worry," says Kate, "He's 'operated' on me plenty of times." Kate claims Daniel was too busy. Chelsea knows Kate won't settle for second best. So she wants to know the real story.

EJ remains calm... a little too calm, "All right ladies... I mean children... Who started this?"

Nicole and Chloe immediately point toward Sami. The room fills with the cackling, babbling insanity of the three tramps accusing each other of starting it. EJ is stern, "I'd like a word with you, Samanther." He hauls her across the room, "Do you care about anyone else besides yourself? Caroline doesn't need any more on her plate, especially this kind of thing."

Cake flies out of Sami's nostrils as she snorts, "This is none of your business!"

"This is none of my business," repeats EJ, "And just who would you have called if you had been arrested?"

Sami says Chloe is the reason Lucas is going back to prison. She tells him about the elevator sex, "Chloe went after him."

EJ says, "I believe Lucas is an adult (I use the term loosely) and he did it on his own."

Sami comes out of left field, "You are the reason he and Chloe slept together."

"Oh that makes complete sense," says EJ.

Bo says Victor is proud of Phillip. Phillip says he messed up. Victor wakes up and overhears the conversation, "mI mam mso mproud."

Daniel comes in, "How are you feeling, Victor?"

"Like hell."

Daniel says he needs to examine him, and kicks Bo and Phillip out.

Morgan meets Phillip out in the hall. He tells her Victor had a stroke, and asks about her father. She tells him Paul knew who was after him and left proof. The blood drains from Phillip's face – one of them, anyway.

Kate tells Chelsea she developed a relationship with Daniel when Chelsea was in the hospital and felt uncomfortable having him as her surgeon. Daniel interrupts and says Victor is awake, "He's not out of the woods yet, however." Chelsea goes off with Bo.

Kate turns to Daniel, "We need to talk – about us."

EJ says, "You showing off to Nicole is what got to Lucas. He overheard Nicole telling me you have feelings for me."

"I'm cured of that," says Sami, "I'm' moving out tonight." She huffs off.

Nicole comes over to EJ, "There goes the woman of your dreams. Going after her?" EJ gets up and leaves.

Nicole says to herself, "What he sees in that mindless manipulative twit I will never know." She walks over to Chloe, who is still wiping goop off of her dress. "Say, Miss Potato Head," says Nicole, "can I buy you a drink? All bitters will stay in the cocktails." Chloe decides to join her in an uneasy truce. They shout over to Pete and order.

Pete ain't exactly in a good mode, "Can't you see I'm cleaning up here?" He finishes his mopping and comes over to their table. They apologize and order. Nicole goes to call and see if Victor is dead or alive.

Victor tells Bo things aren't good. Bo won't let him give up. He tells Victor Caroline is worried about him. Victor says he needs Bo's help with Phillip.

Morgan says the cops haven't heard anything, "My dad said he left something behind. If anything happens to him I will need it. He said he mailed it to me. I'm scared." Hugs. Kate watches.

Kate says she doesn't have any regrets about what happened but if Chelsea found out she couldn't live with that. Daniel knows what she means.

Nicole says, "This beats drinking alone."

"You drink like a fish," says Chloe, "You used to pretend to be my friend so you could get at Brady." Chloe says she and Phillip aren't hot and heavy any more, "He's too busy playing that southern sorority slut Morgan Hollingsworth."

Nicole recognizes the name, "Her father has been implicated in the warehouse fire, so Phillip is comforting her."

Chloe snorts, "Men! Who needs them?"

"I hope that's a rhetorical question," says Nicole.

Morgan wonders if whoever was going after Paul might come after her. Phillip thinks she's been watching too much law and order. She asks his help gong through her dad's stuff. She and Phillip leave together.

Victor says, "mPromis me myou'll mwatch mout mfor mPhillip." Bo hesitates, but promises. They do the buddy hand clasp followed by the Obama fist butt.

Chelsea comes in. She says she appreciates what Victor has done for her, "I want to do the same thing for you. I'll take the best care of you. By the way, am I in your will? "

Daniel says he doesn't want Kate to feel awkward. Kate says, "I care about you and I don't usually sleep around, unless the sun comes up in the morning, in which case I will make an exception. Or unless I get paid for it."

Flashback to Daniel drinking in the pub. Kate joins him. She wonders if he's hitting the liquor a bit hard. He says he's just trying to get his head on straight, "and what better way to do that than to get stinking drunk? " He says she doesn't want to know what's going on in there. Kate presses. Daniel asks, "Did you ever have something on your mind that will mess you up but you can't stop thinking about it?"

Kate would like to help but has to know what's going on. Daniel says he doesn't know how to let it go. Kate thinks she could "help." She grabs his glass, "But first you have to stop drinking." They leave the pub arm-in-arm.

Back to the present, Daniel says, "You helped me through an extremely difficult time and I will always be grateful."

"It was fun for a while," says Kate, "But it needed to end and should never have started."

"But it did," says Daniel, "And we need to keep it in the past."

Kate asks, "Do you mean the past is in the past?"

"Yes," says Daniel, "Because Chelsea is my future and..."

"The future is in the future."

"Exactly."


Bo calls Hope. He fills her in on Victor. In the middle of the conversation, he gets a text, reads it and gets back with Hope, "We just got a break in the Hollingsworth case."

Morgan and Phillip arrive at the pub and sit down outside to talk. Chloe tells Nicole she has to go figure out her next move. She leaves and outside we have a staredown.

Sami screams for Rolf's help. She asks him to help her pack. She says she's leaving, but hasn't decided where she is going yet.

"Zat's exactly the vay any rezponzible parent vould handle it," says Rolf.

EJ comes in. Seeing there is no food sitting around to throw, Sami just goes bonkers, "I'm not sleeping under the same roof with you for another night."

EJ says, "I understand... any chance you'd like to find an elevator to sleep in?"

Sami rants, "My life has been a train wreck since I met you." EJ says she brought this upon herself. She made choices and is suffering the consequences. She reminds him, "You made a choice with the town slut."

"You're right," says EJ, "But you and I only slept together once. Not counting the rape, of course. Lucas is gone."

Phillip sends Morgan off so he and Chloe can have another one of those adult conversations, which are so prevalent in Salem. "You slept with my brother," says Phillip, "Do you hate me that much?" Chloe says she was angry and hurt and she and Lucas made a mistake but so did he.

Back inside the pub, Morgan bumps into Slone, who has just arrived back in town. Morgan tells her about her dad's predicament. Slone hands her an envelope and says, "This got put in my mail slot by mistake. It's addressed to you."

Morgan reads it, "OMG!"

Sami insists she and Lucas will work this out. EJ says if Lucas thought he had a future with her, he wouldn't have slept with Chloe, and the same goes for him and Nicole. All Sami wants is to be with Lucas and their kids. EJ reminds her one of those kids is his. Sami nukes, "I'm getting out and there is nothing you can do about it!"

EJ has something up his sleeve, "Are you sure about that?"

Kate insists she is cool with her Daniel-fling, "No regrets."

Daniel consults the guy manual, "This would be the time to shut up and leave." Kate gives a sinister look as Daniel walks off.

Bo agrees they have to get on this big break right away, "Keep me posted." He hangs up, "Dammit, Phillip!"

Phillip says he never promised Chloe anything. They had a mutually beneficial situation. Chloe says, "FWB can be fine for awhile, but someone gets hurt."

Morgan rushes out and tells Phillip there is a package waiting for her at the post office. Phillip tells Chloe they will talk later.

After they walk off, the sadder-but-wiser girl says, "There's nothing left to say."

EJ tells Sami there is something he can do, "In fact, I've already done it." He pulls a paper out of his chowdah-stained coat pocket, "This is a court order forbidding you from taking Johnny from our home before the custody hearing. You could forfeit some of your parental rights if you disobey it. I'm sorry, Samantha, but I'm doing everything I have to do to keep my family together."

William Shakespeare looks down on the scene, "Elevator sex... granny sex... food fights... why didn't I think of intelligent things like that to write about?"


Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL... Yeah, the DOOL writers aren't quite on Shakespeare's level. :)

5:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sami says she's leaving and hasn't decided where she's going yet? What happened to those two nice apartments that she and E.J. shared before they moved into the mansion? If she doesn't want to do there she can go see her OTHER SON, Will. Poor thing hasn't seen mommy in months. BTW, good move on E.J's part to get the court order to keep Johnny in the house. Does he get to wear Luca's old ankle bracelet?
Now, I'm still waiting for someone to find Dead-dee bobbing around at the dock. How long will that take?

5:03 AM  
OpenID nolebucgrl said...

Well is sure sounds like Grandma!sex happened in the recent past huh? I'm so happy they're not going to retcon it. I'm going to enjoy the explosion over that one.

This episode sounds surpisingly decent, despite the appearance of Chan of course. I don't know how much of screaming Sami I can stand but she's got to be better than crying Sami, right? Right????

5:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kate doesn't sleep around? What a joke, she's such a tramp. The woman has no regrets over screwing her granddaughter's current boyfriend!

Food fight! This I got to see! I am glad EJ is telling Sami off!

5:15 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Chloe hangs up and gives her a look. Nicole pours it on, "YOU LITTLE TRAMP!"

Chloe shouts back “YOU TALL TRAMP!”

"You heard it from the horse's mouth," says Nicole.

Hey, watch it. That’s giving horses a bad name.

Nicole is helpful, "It's true. Everyone knows Lucas is a horn dog.”

Hey, watch it. That’s giving horn dogs a bad name.

"CHLOE... YOU BITCH!"

Hey, watch it. That’s giving bitches a bad name.

FOOD FIGHT!’

Instead of “Animal House”, only Prevuze could turn this into “The Charge of the Light Brigade” or is that “The Charge of the Light on Brains Brigade”?

Nicole says to herself, "What he sees in that mindless manipulative twit I will never know."

It takes one to know one. Sigh, sometimes it appears that everyone in Salem is a mindless manipulative twit.

Goodness, what do you know. When you didn’t think it was possible, DOOL gives us an episode that sounds like it’s watchable. How typical of Sami. She’s packing her things and has no where to go. For that matter, she has no money or has EJ given her a credit card? She certainly hasn’t received any pin money from Lucas. It’s about time that EJ stop being her door mat. Now that he’s trying to seek custody of Johnny we all know what’s coming next. It will be back to “whose your daddy”. Oh, joy. Well, sometimes predictibility is good because we can always count on Prevuze to give us pithy commentary and giggles!

5:50 AM  
OpenID tripp3235 said...

Kate sleeping with Daniel doesn't bother me. It's within character of her to go after a guy that her daughter (hee sorry GRANDDAUGHTER) has shown interest in if they didn't follow it up. She told Chelsea to go after Daniel, Chelsea at the time refused. So she falls into bed with him herself.

What is interesting is Daniel appears to have no guilt about it whatsoever. What a creep.

I'm sooooo looking forward to the food fight.

6:22 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

SPLAT! SPLURF!

Finally! Some decent action on this show.

Cake flies out of Sami's nostrils as she snorts, "This is none of your business!"

LOLOL That’s a visual that will give me chuckles all day.

As for that great poem…Ya done Tennyson proud, Prevuze.

Loved all the pictures, too, especially "Let's Make A Deal".

Great Prevuze today!!

6:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kate said she doesn't usually sleep around. What a lie!
Seems to me she usually sleeps with any man who wants her.

Let us not forget either that in a couple episodes recently, it was implied that Kate and Roman might have hooked up again.

Chelsea's interests just have to get drunk for them to want to have sex with either her Mother or her Granny. This time when she finds out no one will care though, because the age thing is so disgusting anyways. It's just as disgusting for Daniel to have had sex with Kate at her age to me.
I wonder if the DOOL writers are going to make Kate be the other woman Daniel said he was interested in but was unavailable, instead of Lexie like it was implying? I hope DOOL does not get Lexie involved with another affair. I am so sick of her cheating on Abe with younger men. And then him wanting nothing else to do with her, only to forgive her yet again and take her back.

I wondered also how Lexie could be banished from the Salem Hospital and so quickly made Chief of Staph? I like Prevuze's title better than Chief of Staff. It fits her so much better.

6:49 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Kate doesn't sleep around. Hmm..let's see. Didn't she and Squints almost get caught by Sami doing it in one of the Basic Black offices? Didn't she and EJ get caught in his apartment by Squints and the other spys in the Porn Mobile? Doesn't she have six kids by four different fathers? (Oh, I forget, two came in a spaceship from outer space so technically that doesn't count.) Oh well, the past is in the past and the future is in the future and tomorrow is another day! Oh, sorry.

LOL over "The blood drains from Phillip's face - one of them anyway." HAHAHAHA

Great Prevuze and pictures! TGIP!

6:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard Ford was coming back as one of Trent's kids. How are they going to work that resurrection?

I vote for Morgan as the actress that can keep her shoulders pinned to her earlobes the longest in any given scene. Are we sure she's not one of Victor's kids? In one episode, Roman tells her to go home and rest. Where is home? The soroity house is closed for the summer, right? She living in a shelter or something?

Fix Chloe's eyebrows, I'm tired of her looking surprised and confused for every emotion.

Interesting on how they're working Theo. When someone asks him a question, he just stares. Very good. There's a symptom on the autism spectrum where you can't ask a child a question. They don't know what to do with questions. Questions are heard to them just like statements.

Here's an idea. Sami can take Ally, leave Johnny with E.J., go to Switzerland to spend some time with the one man in her life that loves her no matter what...WILL, and let Salem tend to itself.

I want to see a shot of Max looking out the window of the Pub at Trent. The look on his face says this caption....The Brady Pub installs a new Green security device.
With that expression on his face, who would want to come near there?

7:44 AM  
Anonymous SaggyBaskets said...

What's with the Kate hate?

Dan knows he slept with Kate and is gonna try and sleep with Chelsea.

He's the guiltiest one of all.

Monday's show sounds like a keeper, but I'm afraid it'll be nowhere near as humorous as Prevuze.

Elevator 1 or Elevator 2. Which one would Sami choose?

8:08 AM  
Anonymous Victoria said...

Way to go EJ, at least someone in Salem actually cares about what happens to their child.

8:36 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

EJ is SOOOOOOOO gorgeous -- why is he constantly pursuing women who push him away??? He can come knock on my door ANYTIME!!

8:39 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I just have to say I wish the writing on the show were half as good as the commentary here. I just love the added bits and pieces. LMAO!

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everyone was always dogging Lucas about trying to take Ally now EJ is doing the same with Johnny. I can't wait to hear the spins on that.

9:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prevuze II?

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fix Chloe's eyebrows, I'm tired of her looking surprised and confused for every emotion.

Now, Anonymous. Be kind. Catepillars are just going to do what catepillars do. I don't know how you "fix" them without getting PETA on your back. LOLOL

KOTU

12:14 PM  
Anonymous Victoria said...

Anon.- Lucas wants to take Ally AWAY from Sami. EJ wants Sami to stay and be with Johnny but he doesn't want her taking Johnny from him. He wants both parents to have something to do with the kid. Odd for a soap and sadly even for the real world...

3:31 PM  

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