Monday, December 17, 2007

Hit And Run Max Strikes Again

Patch comes into the apartment announces he's home. He says the car is OK, "While it's in the shop I told them to put on some snow tires, but passed on the bullet proof glass since we're pretty sure it wasn't the DiMeras who sabotaged the car."

Kayla steps out of the bedroom in her slinky but, thank the dear Lord, unrevealing nightie. Her voice drips with desire, "Well, I have a little work you can do around here today."

Patch is ready for action, "You call that work baby?"

"It's work for people our age."

"Hey," says Patch, "You know as well as I do people can have full, rich sex lives at any age.

Kayla gasps, "SEX! I meant I wanted you to fix the leaky toilet!


Sami walks around the room trying to quiet Johnny. Johnny wails uncontrollably. He takes after Lucas. Marlena arrives and counsels Sami on how to raise a kid. Given the basket cases Marlena has raised, Sami shouldn't take that advice too seriously. Sami tells Marlena she found out Lucas lied, "But he swears he didn't shoot EJ." Johnny continues to throw a fit, so Sami takes him into the bedroom, "Thank goodness the nursery is soundproof."

Max and Nick arrive at the sorority. Carmen goes to get Chelsea. Max advises Nick to be cool, "If you wanna get lucky, listen to me."

"I got lucky the night I met her," says Nick.

Max taunts, "Ooooooo, where did you get that? On a Valentine's card? I'm telling ya, Nick, what Chelsea wants is more walk less talk." At the moment less talk is what Nick wants from Max.

Chelsea comes down and tells Nick the big confab is over, "Did you forget something?"

Nick moves in, "Yeah, this..." He kisses her.

Stephanie rushes into Chez Rouge looking for Cordy. The hostess says someone who fits her description came in and headed straight for the restroom. Stephanie heads back there. She walks in and calls for her. No answer. Stephanie sneaks up close to a stall and listens. Deciding it must be Cordy in there she flings open the door.

"EEEEEEEKKKKKKK!"

Stephanie decides to try the next stall and finds Cordy holding a bottle-o-pills. Stephanie screams, "How many did you take?"

Chelsea asks if Nick came there just to kiss her. He says he came to tell her he was excited to spend time with her, not just about a big dinner at Chez Rouge, "But I understand – you're busy with finals and everything. I'll go." Chelsea stops him and hauls him into the bedroom.

Morgan makes her grand entrance down the stairs wearing her slinky and somewhat more revealing thingie. She scoots up to Max, "I've got a present for you. Something that I've wanted to give you for a long, long time."

Chelsea tells Nick she felt like she owed him an apology for running out. Nick says he heard her say she couldn't stop thinking about him. He wonders who the guy is. Chelsea says she was talking about Ford, who is missing.

Cordy cries, "This has to stop!"

Stephanie says, "If the writers' strike goes on much longer it will. But right now, I'm going to call 911." Cordy insists Stephanie doesn't know how she feels. "Yes I do," bawls Stephanie, "Ford raped me too."

Cordy accuses her of lying and tells Stephanie she came in before she took any pills. She doesn't remember how she got there. Stephanie tells Cordy this isn't her fault. She has to stop blaming herself. However, Stephanie is more than willing to take the blame, "I went after him. I went to a party and wanted to get back at him. Then it happened." They collapse into each other's arms crying.

Morgan comes back downstairs with the present. "You shouldn't have done this," says Max.

"Why," asks Morgan, "Have you been a bad boy?"

"I've had my moments."

"I'm sorry I missed them," she says.

Max opens the present. It's an autographed picture from a real race driver. Morgan says, "He said to tell you he's sorry he never got to race against you, but he prefers race cars to tricycles."

"Max is stunned, "You shouldn't have."

Chelsea tells Nick Ford is missing and that's all she knows. Nick asks, "What do you mean Ford is missing? Chelsea, is something else going on here?"

. Chelsea insists nothing else is going on, "It's just weird. The last time anyone saw him was when he left the sorority house." She says he came in and apologized then passed out.

"SSCCRREEAAMM!"

Kayla takes Patch into her boudoir. She has it all done up with candles and froo-fra to put Patch in the mood. Bottles of Viagra are strategically placed around the room. She thinks it will be more comfortable than the back seat. Patch backs off and reminds her there is always adoption. Well, Kayla has conveniently gotten the forms and thinks they should fill them out, "What's wrong with you?"

"Pregnancy can be risky," says Patch.

"I know," says Kayla, "We could wind up with another tramp like Stephanie." She tells him not to worry. Patch moves in.

Marlena says it won't seem like Christmas without Will. Sami says he wants to stay with Carrie and Austin. If she had known everyone would show up at her wedding with a gun she would have eloped. She doesn't know if Lucas shot EJ, "But I can't think of anyone who hates EJ more than Lucas, can you?"

"Yes," says Marlena, "Lumi fans."

Sami knows Lucas was at the church. Marlena reminds her two other shots were fired. Sami thinks Lucas may have fired the third and will go to jail. And, of course, Sami thinks it's her fault. Along with world famine and global warming. She drove him to it. She betrayed him by leading EJ to believe she's falling in love with him.

Hearing the scream, Nick and Chelsea rush into the living room with the others. Carmen comes downstairs screaming, "Who used all the hot water? Since I'm too dumb to test the water first, I jumped into the shower and it was freezing!"

"It must be a problem with the water heater," says Nick.

Chelsea asks, "The what?"

"The water heater," he says, "You know, that thing in the basement that heats water so it's nice and warm when you want to take a shower."

"Well I'll be," says Chelsea, "So that's where hot water comes from."

Max flashes back to burying Ford. Nick volunteers to check it out. Max immediately jumps in and volunteers to do it. "I think I know my way around a water heater," says Nick.

Stephanie tells her tale of horror. She couldn't stop him. She went to his room, and then she realized he spiked her drink, "I said no. I tired. I swear." She breaks down sobbing. Cordy comforts her. Stephanie wishes she had passed out, but didn't, "I'll never be able to forget it. Never." Cordy asks why she didn't tell anyone. Stephanie says it's because she was scared, "I'm a total imposter and hypocrite."

Stephanie wonders how she could have gone home with a guy she didn't know. Cordy tries to help. She says Stephanie knew who Ford was. She knew he was from a rich, well-established family. Stephanie says she always told her dad "safe is boring."

"And what did he say to that," asks Cordy.

"So is DOOL." Now Stephanie is always scared. If she had been brave she would have stepped up and supported Cordy. She doesn't deserve Cordy's forgiveness. Cordy says she doesn't feel so desperate now. Stephanie thinks she's a coward. Cordy begs her to forgive herself.

Max says he will check out the water heater because that's where Chelsea has stashed Nick's Christmas present. Chelsea drags Nick back into the bedroom and says they have other things to do that don't involve talking. Nick goes in with her anyway.

Inside, Nick says, "I'll bet Ford pops up when you least expect it."

"You're right," says Chelsea, "If he popped up, that would be the last thing I would expect." She kisses him and apologizes for ruining the night.

"We'll do it again sometime," says Nick.

"How about now," she asks.

Sami says she didn't tell EJ she loves him – just that she has feelings for him. Marlena can see why Lucas is concerned. Sami claims Lucas knows it's an act. Marlena says she can see why Lucas doubts her. "So, what do I do," asks Sami.

"You fight back," says Marlena, "Don't play the game with them. if you do, you will lose."

"They murdered John."

"I get that," says Marlena, "And it's time they get it now. I have to make sure my darling John did not die in vain."

"No," says Sami, "He died in Salem."

In the hottest love scene since John Wayne sucker punched Maureen O'Hara, Kayla and Patch lie in bed and go through mountains of papers. "You sure know how to turn a guy on," says Patch, "But I'm really worried things could go wrong if you get pregnant." Kayla says if she thought there was a serious risk she wouldn't do it. Patch wants a guarantee. Kayla says she will have a physical. If her doctors say it's risky, she will let it go. Kayla sticks out her hand and wants to shake on it. Patch wants to do something else to seal the deal.

Nervous Max checks the water heater. Then he smoothes out the ground where Ford is buried and goes upstairs. He tells Morgan he relit the pilot light, but the water heater is on its last legs. She tells him Carmen went next door to finish her shower, "We're gonna need the hot water when it comes on. We are gonna take a nice bubble bath. Just you and me and some hot soapy fun." She kisses him.

Stephanie has called and left voicemails for Carmen, Chelsea and Morgan telling them she found Cordy. Cordy says she is OK but she never thought she'd be the victim of a rapist. Stephanie says at least she had the guts to say something. Cordy tells her she is wrong. She thinks Stephanie is brave. Cordy never could have gotten rid of Ford's body on her own. Cordy says there is something Stephanie can do. She asks if Stephanie will go to therapy with her. Stephanie stares.

Sami tells Marlena it's crazy to take on the DiMeras. That's just why Marlena is taking them on, "It's fight or fold and I'm tired of folding. You have to get the marriage to EJ annulled." Sami says she has no choice. Marlena tells her to take care of her husband and children and her family will take care of the rest.

Max gulps, "You're beautiful... smart... and amazing."

"Amazing," says Morgan, "I know what that means. We're not going anywhere are we?"

Max whines, "I am so gonna regret this."

Morgan snorts, "Darlin' you are definitely gonna regret this."

"So?"

"So merry Christmas, Max."

"Merry Christmas." Max leaves. Morgan stews.

Outside, Max finds Carmen coming back. She tells him she checked her voicemail and knows Stephanie found Cordy at Chez Rouge.

Kayla wonders how Stephanie will react about the pregnancy. Patch gasps, "We can't talk to her about that!"

"Why," asks Kayla.

"Because," says Patch, "Then she would know you and I are... uh... and that would gross her out."

"That would gross anybody out," says Kayla, "We'll just tell her it's a Christmas miracle."

"At our age it would be," says Patch. He asks if Kayla has noticed something is bugging Stephanie lately, "What do you think it could be?"

Stephanie says therapy isn't for her. She'd rather whine and pout. She can't tell her parents either. Cordy tosses the pills into a wastebasket, "You saved my life tonight. Let me save yours."

Marlena tells Sami to think about what she said. Sami says ending her marriage to EJ is all she thinks about. She asks if Marlena will be at Alice's for Christmas. Marlena hasn't decided, but will let her know. She leaves.

Morgan swills her drink as Nick comes out buttoning his shirt. He asks where Max is. Morgan tells him Max left. "Oh," says Nick, "Did Stephanie call?"

Calm down, people. The explosion you just heard is not a terrorist event. Morgan goes off the deep end, "IS MAX LOOKING TO GET BACK WITH STEPHANIE?" She gives Nick the rest of her bottle of wine.

Chelsea calls from the bedroom. Nick goes back in. Morgan toasts, "Here's to love." Nick brings the wine in and tells Chelsea Morgan might have gotten dumped.

"Hit and run Max strikes again," says Chelsea, "My feet are cold. I need you in bed with me."

"I don't know what you have hidden in the basement," says Nick, "but I doubt it can top this."

"It probably can," says Chelsea, "Rotting dead bodies are definitely better than sex with me."

Patch says he will talk to Stephanie. She needs them and he will be there for her.

Cordy and Stephanie walk out into the dining area of Chez Rouge feeling better. Max walks in and sees them. He walks over in their direction. Cordy says, "Promise you'll tell someone what happened." Max soaks it in.

Meanwhile, back by the restroom, John Black's ghost rummages through the waste basket where Cordy tossed the pills.


Previews
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You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

20 Comments:

Blogger Applecheeks said...

Cordy had one amazing turn-around - from contemplating suicide to channeling Dr. Phil in about 10 minutes!

LOL at Lucas's unemployment index, Patch's "work assignment", John dying in Salem rather than "in vain", and Squint's ghost rummaging in the trash for the bottle-o-pills.

Now I can face Monday with a smile on my face and a smirk in my heart. Thanks, Prevuze.

6:39 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Prevuze, you are in rare form today! Everything was great -- Johnny's wailing taking after Lucas, the basketcases that Marlena raised, Nick wanting less talk from Max, Payla's strategically-placed bottles of Viagra, John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara, the things that are Sami's fault, Morgan's explosion -- all top shelf!! But the absolute BEST was --
"Meanwhile, back by the restroom, John Black's ghost rummages through the waste basket where Cordy tossed the pills."

Thank God my tea was still steeping when I got to THAT one!!!!

Prevuze, this edition makes suffering through the weekend weather worth it!

6:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funniest things today:

1)John's ghost looking for the pills

2)Chloe's patented eternal "deer-in-the-headlights" look

Prevuze (and Mary Kay), you're the best!!!!

8:03 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Cordy had one amazing turn-around - from contemplating suicide to channeling Dr. Phil in about 10 minutes!

LMAO!! Good one Applecheeks!

I am really starting to notice that DOOL is starting on the "script stockpile" written just before the writers walked out.

Many many unnecessary flashbacks, scene after scene of the same argument over and over. Clearly devices intended to stretch the SL to last as long as possible.

The only problem is, it is ANNOYING AS HELL!

It's not like DOOL is known for snappy SL or moving things along at anything more than a snail's pace, but come on!
Flashing back to ENTIRE conversations that happened yesterday? Sami running back and forth between apartments re-hashing the same stuff for an entire week? And just exactly how many times DO we need to be reminded that Ford is buried in the basement?

I'd rather watch Marlena's possession SL reruns, or some stuff from the 60's or 70's. Really.

8:56 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Mary Kay, loved the Chloe picture. I've thought that Nadia Bjorlin and Deidre Hall have the exact opposite thoughts on what makes them appealing...Nadia almost bugs her eyes out to make them wider and Deidre keeps hers almost closed, I suppose to give her that "dreamy" look. I'd say dopey look. They're both annoying!

Deb, look at the entire scene flashbacks as just a good zapping opportunity to get you thru the episode faster. That's what I do.

I'm still laughing over Payla ending up with another trampy kid and Squints rummaging for that bag o' pills. HAHAHAHA Excellent Prevuze today!! :D

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you should stop snarking on Steve and Kayla for age they are not that old.

10:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The actors who play Patch and Kayla are 56 and 46 years old...pretty darn old to be trying to get pregnant or adopt a baby.

Here's my prediction on what's going to happen with the dippy little sorority morality play. The water heater will break and leak all over, soaking into the dirt where Ford is buried, and his body will float up through the mud like in Poltergeist. The cops will find out, the girls will be afraid they're going to jail, they'll 'splain what happened and not have to go to jail after all. All's well that ends well, and it will all be forgotten in a couple days.

10:39 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

I think you should stop snarking on Steve and Kayla for age they are not that old.

I hate to burst your balloon, but they are also fictional characters. Meaning not real. And just to be completely factual, Mary Beth Evans will be 47 in March and Steven Nichols will be 75 in February.

Oops, sorry. Reversed those numbers, he'll be 57 in February. It was a legitimate mistake. Really. Honest.

10:47 AM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...

I haven't been able to keep up with my Prevuze the last couple of weeks, let alone comment. I've tried to zip through the recaps, but I couldn't give them the attention they deserved.

With that said, I'm glad that things haven't changed much in Salem. The characters are still rehashing the smallest crumb of action or drama, wringing it out for all its dubious value because the storylines are stuck in "Groundhog Day" mode.

Prevuze never fails to disappoint though and I'm grateful for that.

Now I will read the original posts in reverse chronological order and see if I missed anything really worth seeing.

10:47 AM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...

Nothing yet.

11:02 AM  
Anonymous theresa said...

She doesn't know if Lucas shot EJ, "But I can't think of anyone who hates EJ more than Lucas, can you?"

"Yes," says Marlena, "Lumi fans."


OOOHHH SNAP!

11:32 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Prevuze never fails to disappoint though and I'm grateful for that.

Hmmmm... I have to think about that one.

11:42 AM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...

I suck. I didn't mean it really. I should have said Prevuze never disappoints. I will now fold my hands in my lap and place my head on my desk for a self appointed time out.

11:47 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

I suck. I didn't mean it really. I should have said Prevuze never disappoints. I will now fold my hands in my lap and place my head on my desk for a self appointed time out.

I think "suck" is a little extreme. I knew exactly what you meant. It's not like I've never made a tpyo or tow myself either.

12:40 PM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...

Deb, I just read your latest efforts on your Blog. I tried to pick up where you left off.

1:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm and S & K fan and I find myself laughing my @$$ off at the snark -- I think it's brilliant!

Also,

"The actors who play Patch and Kayla are 56 and 46 years old...pretty darn old to be trying to get pregnant or adopt a baby."

True, but the actors' ages don't have much to do with their characters, and this generally holds true for characters across all soaps. SORAS and retconning tends to mess things up. As it stands, Steve is around 52 and Kayla is probably a bit younger than Mary Beth.

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Cindyjh said...

What gets me is how in the heck did Stephanie know to go to Chez Rouge to find Cordy contemplating suicide. Chez Rouge has got to be good for something -- I guess its the suicide hangout or something.

2:44 PM  
Anonymous KOTU said...

As I was doing stuff around the house yesterday I saw most of the Lord of The Rings trilogy on TNT. So, the first thing that popped into my head while reading Stephano's instructions in Prevuze Previews was a vision of an army of orcs being created by Rolf down in the basement. LOLOLOL

3:40 PM  
Anonymous sue said...

Love the "thingies", the caps and the humor.

The show itself sounds blander than bland and has me wondering if the regulars are even writing this stuff?

Did Sami forget that she didn't try to convince EJ she cared for him till AFTER he was shot? - so her lame excuses won't cut it. Actually these days Sami doesn't cut it and I'm not so sure she shouldn't go off to Switzerland with the dufus. Sounds better than me pulling my hair out over the stupidity of those two.

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay. Have I missed something? Nick and Chelsea sleep together and no big whoop-de-do about it from DOOL and noone comments? I guess I must have missed an episode or 20? Something tells me that this wasn't their first time?

10:47 PM  

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