Friday, October 12, 2007

My Pawn Stole My Queen

Marlena lies in the street with John and says, "Hang on, John, you're doing such a good job. You work best when you're unconscious." Basket-case Belle looks on.

Marlena gives a strangely alluring look and remembers John imitating a bug on a windshield, "We're here for you, John. We're giving you all our strength." If the impact from the car didn't kill him, that should finish him off. She comforts John as the sirens wail in the background.

The doctor tells Stefano he is sorry for his loss. Tonya and Anna arrive. The doctor about faints when he sees Tony, "Mr. DiMera!"

Tony jumps in and 'splains his resemblance to Andre. The doctor leaves. Tony asks, "What's going on?"

Stefano says, "Andre has been murdered by Shawn Brady Sr."

Anna and Tony drop their jaws. "OMG," gasps Anna.

"I didn't know the old man had it in him," says Tony, "I wish I could say I was upset."

Stefano rages, "You are a DiMera! Of course you should be upset!"

"After what he did to me," says Tony, "No, I don't mourn his passing. He stole my life."

"But you are here," protests Stefano, "He is gone."

"Good riddance."

Stefano sighs and says he supposes he is Andre's only mourner. Tony says Stefano won't mourn for long, "You don't have it in you." Stefano tells Tony the family needs him and it's time for him to take his place by Stefano's side. Tony chuckles and tells Stefano he's mad.

Sami cries...

EJ makes a call. He gets off the phone and Sami blames him for what happened to John. Lucas rants. EJ insists he just wants peace. Lucas insists EJ just wants a piece. Sami asks EJ to swear he had nothing to do with this.

Marlena asks John to keep fighting. John vegetates. An ambulance and a B&W come screeching up.

On the lighter side... the sorority sisters help Morgan pick out things for her date with Max. Morgan wants Max to think she is so hot he will want her to have his babies. Everyone chuckles when she says that. Everyone, that is, except Stephanie-of-the-black-mood. Stephanie comes out of her funk long enough to ask about Cordy.

"SCREAM!" The lemmings all run to find out what's the matter.

EJ swears he didn't arrange John's accident. Sami wants to get to the hospital. She grabs the chain attached to Lucas' nose ring and drags him out. As they leave, EJ gives his parting shot, "Be careful. Because, unless we marry, no one is safe."

Stefano works on Tony. With Andre gone he has to stand by Stefano as the head of the family. Tony asks, "Now that Andre is dead..." He stops, thinks and asks, "He is dead, isn't he?"

"Don't be ridiculous," snorts Stefano, "This is DOOL. Of course he isn't dead."

Tony goes on, "What does being head of the family entail?"

Stefano says, "I may go to Tuscany, and you can..."

Tony interrupts, "Kidnap Marlena and reprogram Steve." He tells Stefano he isn't exactly thrilled with having twenty years of his life taken away while he was alone on the island.

Stefano reminds him he had female companionship, "Two lovely ladies, as I recall."

Anna smiles and has some sort of vicarious experience. Tony says he intends to live his life to the fullest now that he is back, "The cycle of murder and mayhem dies with you."

"I look like a hooker," screams Cordy. Morgan thinks she overdid it just a little. Cordy insists she isn't going on her date with Ford. Chelsea wonders why she didn't wait for the girls to help her get ready. Morgan decides she won't allow Cordy to stay home. The sisters of IFT are going to rally 'round and, "We're going to help Miss Han come through! Get me cold cream and tissues!" We pan in on Stephanie.

Brain matter oozes from John's head. Marlena assures everyone John will not die. Sami and Belle go toe-to-toe arguing about who is the most to blame.

Lucas pulls Sami away and tells her this isn't her fault. Sami cuts him down, bags up his testicles and walks away with them.

Stefano thinks Tony should step up to the plate. Anna soaks it in. Stefano vows to despise Colleen's memory until his last breath.

Tony gets sarcastic, "Look on the bright side. Maybe a book deal or movie will come from the vendetta." Anna steps in and tells Tony she thinks they should go. Tony doesn't want to miss the grand display of emotion. Anna tells Stefano she's sorry, but he can't blame Tony after what he has done to him.

Tony gasps, "Are you apologizing to him?" He turns and walks out. Anna chases.

Outside, Anna comes up to Tony. He asks, "Did you invite him to move in with us?"

"Of course not," says Anna, "What's the use of being cruel now?"

"Do you realize what that man did," says Tony, "I can't be cruel enough." He runs off and the chase is on again.

Anna catches up. Tony says Stefano kept him away from her and tried to have her daughter killed. Anna thinks Stefano is a broken man, "And you don't beat a man when he's down." She believes the vendetta has cost Stefano more than it has cost them. Tony has no pity.

"You are starting to sound like a DiMera," says Anna, "He has lost everything and we have each other. We have won."

Tony and Anna's conversation is interrupted as several gurneys go by, each containing parts of John's body. Marlena follows, but Dr. Berman pushes her back as they wheel John into a room. Tony and Anna rush up to her. Marlena takes the fetal position, "Stay close, John... stay close... stay close... stay close..."

John shouts from the next room, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Stefano looks at Andre's empty bed and shakes his head. EJ comes in. He says, "John was the better target to go after. Going after Belle would have been a setback." Stefano tells EJ Andre is dead.

EJ asks, "If Andre is dead who hit John Black?"

Anna assures Marlena John is strong. Dr. Berman comes out and says they are taking John to surgery. They wheel him through. Dr. Berman follows and barks orders, "Get me lots of Crazy Glue... STAT!"

Hugs and tears. Marlena says John needs them to be strong. Marlena has an idea, "Prayer! Prayer would be good. Tony, will you pray with us?"

"Prayer from a DiMera isn't what John needs now," says Tony. He and Anna leave.

Marlena, Belle and Sami pray in unison, "Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name... but only when we need you..."

The sorority sisters work on Cordy as she insists it won't work. Morgan orders Stephanie to be a lookout for Max or Ford. Cordy tells her she can just watch her computer monitor, because she has the whole sorority house wired into it. Stephanie goes over and sits down at the computer, "Wow, this looks pretty sophisticated. I see Billie hasn't sold us her security system yet."

Morgan asks, "Are you ready, Dr. Brady?"

Chelsea snaps back, "Ready, Dr. Hollingsworth."

"I'm going in," says Dr. Hollingsworth.

Belle says Shawn is at home sleeping off his meds (The doctor must have prescribed heavy doses of Budweiser.). Lucas offers to go get him. He stops and tells Sami. Sami smiles, "You are my rock-head." Lucas reassures her and asks if she will be all right.

Sami tries a smile, "Yeah."

Tony tells Anna he and John don't even know each other, "We're brothers, but I don't know what he is like and now probably never will."

Stefano is confused about John getting struck down. He tells EJ OMB murdered Andre. Stefano wonders who did it to John. EJ can't figure it out either, "But whomever it was, I will buy him a case of champagne."

EJ thinks this person has put Sami where he wants her. Stefano rages, "Benjamin and Andre are stone cold and you are thinking about a woman!" EJ says Sami will marry him because she will think Stefano ordered the hit on John. Stefano grumbles, "And you will have everything you ever desired... or so you think."

Sami rallies the troops. She drags us back through John's whole endless coma affair. "He can't leave us," says Marlena, "Not like this.

Max shows up outside I Felta Thigh with Ford closely behind. Stephanie sounds the alarm. Morgan orders Stephanie to go outside and stall them.

"Cordy isn't bad," says Max.

"She's no Morgan," says Ford.

Max grasps at straws, "Its for charity, right?"

Stephanie comes out and joins the boys in their intellectual conversation.

Stefano says EJ has to learn by Stefano's mistakes. EJ asks what happened with him and Marlena. Stefano says John was his private mercenary but couldn't be trusted, "John won the heart of the woman I loved. My pawn stole my queen." EJ promises he will succeed by marrying the woman he loves. The families will untie. Stefano hopes EJ is right and doesn't end up like him – alone.

Anna drags Marlena over. She says she and Tony are leaving so Marlena can spend time with her family. Marlena tells Tony he is family. He's grateful for that, but says they are going to see if there is any information on who hit John.

Anna tries to be cheerful, "Once John pulls through, I think the four of us should get together for dinner. We can have a picnic on John's grave."

They leave. Marlena cries. Sami and Belle argue again over who is to blame. "You're gonna be OK," says Sami. She goes over and asks a nurse for transparent tape. The nurse takes off to find some.

Berman comes back. Marlena rushes up to him and hits him with a thousand questions, "He's going to be all right, isn't he?

Berman is silent. Marlena talks to John as they wheel him past. EJ comes in. Belle pesters Dr. Berman for more information.

Stephanie brings Max and Ford inside and offers them a beer. Max declines since he is driving. Likewise with Ford who asks, "Was that a test?"

"If it was, you passed," says Stephanie.

Stephanie and Ford trade compliments. Stephanie wishes she had bid on him. Ford says he was disappointed when he found out her bids were just a front for Cordy. He asks if she has a boyfriend.

"She just got out of a lousy relationship," says Max.

"I can speak for myself," says Stephanie, "He's right, I'm out of a relationship, but I haven't stopped dating."

"Coulda fooled me," says Max.

Max tells them he's going to take Morgan around the racetrack. Stephanie can't believe he's taking her there, "Morgan getting down and dirty in the pit?"

"We can always hope, can't we," says Max.

Morgan comes down. Cordy makes her entrance. We saw this coming a mile away. The transformation is complete. The caterpillar has become a butterfly. Ford about faints, "Are you sure you're the same one who bid on me?"

"It's me," says Cordy. Ford takes her arm and off they go.

Marlena goes in to see John. Belle and Dr. Berman follow. Berman says, "His injuries are extensive. His back is broken in two places. His ribs are crushed and he has a broken collarbone. What's worse, the cerebral squintifax region of his brain was crushed... Since it's only a one-hour show He saves time by going through a list of things that are OK, "His toenails are in pretty good shape... Surgical repair is impossible..."

Once again Marlena has a flashback, only this time in excruciating slow motion. John's cheek hits the window... The car inches forward... His face begins to flatten... Small cracks appear in the window... Slowly... John Squints... for the last time... We pan up to his monitors which, frankly, are just perking along.

The doctor continues his litany of squishification, "His heart was severely bruised. His liver was crushed... "

Marlena screams for him to stop, "I don't understand all this complicated medical stuff! Just tell me. Is my husband going to make it?"

EJ comes in to see Sami. She snaps and tells him she knows he's there to say he told her so. He tells her about Andre, "You know what this means, right?"

Ford tells Cordy the guys will be jealous he got to go out with such a beautiful woman. He thinks tonight will be a night they will not forget. Translation: There used to be an arm attached to that hook on the car door...

Max says he has a surprise for Morgan. Morgan likes a man of mystery. Stephanie watches and huffs. They leave and Chelsea talks about how much fun they are having. Stephanie is distant. Chelsea accuses her of being jealous.

Stefano contemplates his key. A delivery boy brings an envelope and asks him to sign. Stefano waves his hand, "Sign it yourself."

"CONFIDENTIAL" is stamped across the front. Stefano opens it and finds another envelope inside labeled, "Samantha Brady Roberts – DNA Results."

Stephano opens the second envelope, pulls out a piece of paper and reads it, "Just as I thought."

EJ says he tried to get Stefano to say who was responsible for John's hit and run. "I can do the math," says Sami, "This isn't Belle you're talking to. There is no other way." She hands him the annulment papers, which she has taped back together. She says she signed the document, "It's your lucky day. You get what you want. I'll marry you."

Dr. Berman tells Marlena John's organs are failing. He doesn't expect him to make it thorough the night.

"What are we gonna do," bawls Belle.

Marlena stammers, "W– W– We have to call Bo and Hope, Steve and Kayla and Roman – Everybody who loves your daddy. We have to tell them we are losing him, and they have to come and say goodbye. Oh baby. BAWL..."


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.


Blogger Deb said...

Ah ha!!
Positive proof DOOL writers read Prevuze:
Tony goes on, "What does being head of the family entail?"

Stefano says, "I may go to Tuscany, and you can..."

Tony interrupts, "Kidnap Marlena and reprogram Steve."

What's with Stefano having Sami's DNA results??
What does "just as I thought mean?"
I wonder if it's like we all thought one baby is Lucas's and one is EJ's.

Now that Squint is dead, I wonder if they will set up a love triangle between Tony, Anna, and Marlena??
No no wait, that would involve writing lines for ADULTS, who have REAL feelings and speak in complete sentences. That's not going to happen.

4:38 AM  
Anonymous Ellie said...

I am a huge J&M fan and I'm devastated.

In terms of Tony and Anna talking to Marlena at the hospital, hmmm. Wonder where that's going. In the past, it would have been Bo or Abe giving Marlena a kiss on the cheek at the hospital. Since Sheffer writes with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, the Tony/Anna/Marlena conversation must mean something. But what?

5:39 AM  
Anonymous dazeisdum said...

Stefano had Sami's DNA results, not Sami's babies DNA results. I bet she is not Roman's daughter or something stupid like that. I hope they hook Marlena and Roman up again.

Best picture goes to "my plan to become a hospital patient to get drugs didn't work so well."

5:49 AM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...

His back is broken in two places. His ribs are crushed and he has a broken collarbone. What's worse, the cerebral squintifax region of his brain was crushed

His heart was severely bruised. His liver was crushed... "

Impressive list of injuries for John. He is supposed to "die" right? Then come back to life with nary a reminder of a broken back and crushed liver. Perhaps they will give him a cane to walk with and put him back on pain pills.

One Lucas baby and one EJ baby,I bet. We've been saying that for 11 months now. Yawn.

Good, maybe Cordy aka My Fair Lady will give those Felta Thigh girls a run for thier money. Or be a homicidal maniac that kills sorority girls or those that date them. Does anybody else find it a little creepy that Cordy has the entire sorority house wired with cameras? Can someone say voyeur/stalker/resentment of popular girls/ Carrie?

6:23 AM  
Anonymous Kristi said...

Your description of John's injuries really tickled the ol' funny bone today. I must say that I'm surprised they killed him off after him coming back the last time. Since then, he's basically been a backburner character. What was the purpose of bringing him back then? Just so he couldn't identify EJ as his shooter and then actually die so Sami thinks EJ set it up so she'll marry him? Hmmm, that's smart on her part. Marry the man that shot John and then had him run over when the first attempt didn't take. She shoulda just killed EJ. If someone offs him now, then the feud would end except for Stefano's henchmen. Get us another bad guy. I love Stefano, but the v-word is way old. Oh, yeah, now that squints is gone, Sami should be happy because Roman could really capitalize on it. Hey, it's a soap and not real life. I'm not being morbid.

BTW, wouldn't it REALLY be a twist if Sami was really STEFANO'S DAUGHTER? Would he tell EJ? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

7:14 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

The litany of "blame" pictures were inspired. All we needed was a picture of the REAL person to blame - Scheffer!

Loved John's Super Sonic Surgery. What did it last? 10 minutes?

[As an aside - Stephano is so obsessed with the Dimera about Benjy's kids? They are Dimeras too aren't they.]

Back to today's Prevuze:

"Don't be ridiculous," snorts Stefano, "This is DOOL. Of course he isn't dead."

...the cerebral squintifax region of his brain was crushed...litany of squishification...

Dr. Berman follows and barks orders, "Get me lots of Crazy Glue... STAT!"

That last one had me doing a spit take with actual spit since I didn't have anything else in my mouth at the time. LOLOLOL

Last, but not least, who hit Squints? Paging Dr. Alex North anyone?

7:14 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Applecheeks stole my theory - Alex North has come back from the Kate Zone. I can't think of anyone else who would've done it.

Any time these people get a DNA test should just sit right there in the lab while they're being done. I would, considering there's never been one test that wasn't altered, faked or screwed up in some way.

This was a fantastic Prevuze today. I loved the Squintsfest! I
will be laughing over that last picture all day. Thanks! :D

7:22 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

OMG, Dazeisdum said the DNA results were Sami's not the babies?

What if...........PARD IS THE SANTEEN BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That would explain Sami's uncanny resemblence to her "Aunt" Colleen!!!!!

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So I've heard that the reason why they are getting rid of John is because he is one of the higher paid actors on the show. They've also gotten rid of Jeremy but really, that's only saving pennies. But why couldn't they get rid of characters that are totally useless, ie. Anna, Kate, OMB and wife, Maggie, etc. Now Marlena's probably going to fall back into Roman's arms or have some wierd, painful-to-watch quadrangle with Roman, Tony and Hungry-Anna. They've been hinting lately that Roman needs a woman so guess who that will be. Arggh! Anyway as much as I disliked the Jo-Ma makeout scenes, I liked John's character. Can no one be happy on this show? No happy marriages, even if they are your 7th or 8th one.


8:29 AM  
Anonymous dazeisdum said...

Ok, so I just looked on Dustin's Days page to see what all those ppl had to say aboutt he whole John dying thing. Apparently this is a huge hoax. John isn't really dead. Now, the question becomes what kind of hoax is it? Are we teh audience supposed to be fooled? Are the characters in the show supposed to be fooled(not that it would take much)?

Also about Sami's DNA report that Stefano has magically gotten his hands on. I think it will turn out that Sami is actually the grandaughter of the Santeen baby. In which case she and E.J are...aunt and nephew? That family tree has too branches.

10:32 AM  
Anonymous dazeisdum said...

Oh and one more thing. I was watching the show today, and right after Tondre's machines started going crazy and he was "dead" the actor took a deep breath. It was quite comical to see a dead man breathe.

10:34 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Dazeisdum, it's not really hard to figure out.
If Roman is the Santeen baby, then
Sami and EJ would be first cousins once removed. The children of half brothers.

There's no way she's the GRAND-child of the Santeen baby, since we know she and Eric were born to Roman and Marlena and both of them are too old, even in DOOL terms to be the Colleen's grandchild.
But if by some weird twist she was Colleen's great grand-daughter then EJ would be Sami's Uncle.

11:19 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

John isn't really dead.

GASP! What a fresh twist! What great entertainment! It's ...

Cutting edge!
Keen witted!

Waitaminute. That spells CROCK. I guess that pretty much sums it up.

11:20 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

DAYS have thrown in some strange twists, but Pard being the Santeen baby is just a little too far out there.

YOMB was only 9 or 10 when Colleen "died". So he'd only be about a year older than the baby Colleen had. I doubt that Pard could have been adopted when he was in his late teen's, early 20's and not known he wasn't OWB and OMB's kid seeing as how he'd be about their age. [Unless, of course, Colleen had a typical DAYS' pregnancy that lasted a decade or two. HAHAHA]

Maybe Marlena is the baby and she & her twin sister were adopted? 'Course, that would make Doc & Pard first cousins and Sami & EJ would be first cousins.

That doesn't work out so well.

What a twisted web we weave....

11:44 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Maybe Uncle Eric was the Santeen baby -- I don't recall any mention of a brother named Eric in the Colleen/YOMB/Pete flashbacks. He could have been raised by his grandparents (Pete and his wife) as their own son. He was perverted enough to be a DiMera spawn -- isn't he the one who sexually abused Kim when she was a young girl?

11:56 AM  
Blogger Sam said...

I cannot believe the DOOL writers are trying this kill off major characters spoof again. I won't believe that John is dead unless they pull out all the stops for the funeral and round up Brady, Eric, Carrie and Kim for appearances. Come even in soapland/Salem kids attend their parents funeral! Stef with Sami's DNA what is up with that?


12:35 PM  
Anonymous Theresa said...

I think Prevuze is the Santeen baby.

1:41 PM  
Anonymous em said...

John does his best acting as a comatose patient. Playing dead just moves it up a notch!

1:46 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

I think Prevuze is the Santeen baby.

Curses! Foiled again!

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Scolly said...

"John does his best acting as a comotose patient." LMAO!!!!

Applecheeks, I think you meant to say if YOMB was 9 or 10 when Colleen "died" he'd be roughly 10 or 11 when her baby was born. I do think your description, tho, of a two decade pregnancy isn't that far off for DOOL. HAHAHAHA

The ultimate DOOL pregnancy was, in my opinion, Hope's with Ciara. First, I don't care how they tried to change history later, it was an immaculate conception since she and Bo hadn't been together after Zack's death. Also, she only looked pregnant about one day.

2:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was Tony questioning whether or not Andre was really dead a prevuism? It's much too intelligent for most DOOL characters.

I wonder if they're going to try for a Marlena/Roman pairing again. They'll at least be hinting at it soon. Why else would Marlena include him as one of the people who "loved" John?

2:22 PM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

"Theresa said...
I think Prevuze is the Santeen baby"

"em said...
John does his best acting as a comatose patient. Playing dead just moves it up a notch!"


And that's hard to do when one is hanging one's head in shame at one's terrible math skills. HAHAHAHA

1:46 PM

2:31 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Was Tony questioning whether or not Andre was really dead a prevuism?

It was not a Prevuzism. These guys just keep stealing my good lines.

2:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought I read once that Lucas might be Stefano and Kate's lustchild. If that were true, Sami marrying Lucas would end the "V" and all the "Salem-DNA" tests would show a Dimerra as the parent.

3:25 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I haven't had time to watch the show or even read most of Prevuze, but I have been checking out all of the pictures and comments. Let me just say you all have me LMAO!

(Strangely, I can still follow the storyline pretty well....)

The pictures are hilarious! Thanks!

8:29 PM  
Anonymous Victoria said...

I guess I would be the only one not upset if Squints is really dead? Marlena and John have always driven me nuts.

12:04 AM  
Anonymous Sandy said...

I'm thinking the envelope with Sami's DNA written on it is not actually Sami's, but her which case one is from Lukas and one is from EJ. Somewhere I read the comment where an issue was made about the twins not looking alike.

3:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I also read the same thing.. That Lucas was going to end up being Stephano's as well. I have also read that Ej and Sami will wed but they find out the terms of the "V" were already met before it happened. What other way could it be then Lucas is DiMera

8:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK. If my husband had been hit by a car in an alley right at the clinic, would I be lying on top of him crying and using a cellphone to call my daughter in a pub to come help OR would I get my butt up from the pavement and run into the clinic to get someone with a gurney to come out there and take him inside for medical help and THEN call the daughter in the pub and report the accident? Hmmmm Decisions, decisions. Then again, if my other daughter is coming out of the clinic after working ten minutes shadowing a senior nurse for her clinicals, I could wait for her to get there and make a big dramatic crying scene over dying Daddy and still wait for the other crying daughter at the pub to come to her senses and call 911. I bet the writers really had some tough times figureing out what to do on that one.

5:08 PM  

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