Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Moans From Mordor

Belle huffs around the room as Shawn wakes up. Shawn tries to be apologetic about the twin bed thing, but Belle is in a MOOD. She thinks they have had Claire on the run long enough and it is time to pack up and go to Australia. I guess she thinks they will hitchhike.

The brat comes into the lab and finds Nick. They share small talk and the conversation winds its way around to Nick's, ahem, you know, thing with Billie. Chelsea doesn't want to talk about it, so Nick talks about it. She stops him short and wants to know if he still loves her. He says no. Her face goes blank and the blood drains from her head. Of course, Nick proceeds to tell her he actually loves her more. Chelsea says it's a good thing because she will probably need him more than ever.

Max and Kayla are on the plane to Italy. Max tells her Bo and Roman would be totally peeved if they knew he and Kayla were doing this, "Which reminds me – what are we doing?" Kayla tells him they are going on a wild goose chase to find Stefano. Max realizes that, but wants to know why.

Kayla tells him about the kidneyapping. Max is totally shocked, only he believes Steve yanked John's kidney. When Kayla says she did it, Max practically changes the course of the plane with his reaction. So he still wants to know what they are going to do when they get there. Kayla has a plan. They are going to track Stefano down at the same hospital where John and Marlena found him, yank his new kidney out, and find out if it matches John's. If it does, they will stand at the foot of his bed yelling, "BAD STEFANO, BAD STEFANO! " Max thinks she must really love Patch a lot to do this for him. Kayla just hopes it isn't too late.

Meanwhile, back at the loony gin, Goliath orders David to clean up the mess. The patients grunt out moans from Mordor in the background. Steve and Goliath go back and forth and Steve finally gives in and gets down on the floor. He takes two dry soy-burgers and sticks them on top of Goliath's shoes. The collection of lunatics around the room all cackle like the Wicked Witch of the West. Steve looks up, "You want fries with that?"

Goliath drags Patch up. Patch bounces around the room as the patients laugh and cheer. He taunts Goliath, who drags out his taser and threatens to zap Patch to kingdom come.

Kayla thinks maybe if Steve had never met her, he would never have gotten mixed up with the DiMeras. Max gets all over her for blaming herself for Steve's condition. Kayla decides he is right, "It was a fleeting thought. Fleeting thoughts are standard for me." Max and Kayla sit there and bore us with their mutual admiration society. Max wonders how they are going to pull this off. Kayla hopes for divine intervention. No sooner said than done. A priest gets out of his seat and heads for the restroom. Max follows, and once they are in the restroom together, he beats the crap out of him and steals his frock.

Shawn doesn't get it. Belle is used to that. She wants to leave the island. She doesn't think it is a fit place to raise a child. Shawn deserves better. Shawn agrees but wants to know if Belle has figured out a way to get to Australia.

"Breaststroke."

Nick vows his undying love for Chelsea. She's happy to hear that because he's going to need her more than ever. She tells him the story of the arson, the thief and the guy in the bar with a talking dog. Oh, waitaminute, that was another story. Anyway, Nick thinks it's great she's off the hook and Willow will get nailed for the dastardly deed. Then she tells him about the hairbrush with her DNA smeared all over it. That's the part where she's going to need that undying love of his.

"What do you need your best friend who just happens to work at the lab to do for you," asks Nick.

"I think you already know the answer to that," says the brat, "I need you to get me off the hook."

Belle's hot idea is to use her wedding ring, which no one on the island knows is stolen. They won't sell it though, "We'll trade it for beads and trinkets, use that to buy a boat, sail the boat to Australia, sell the boat, get high-paying jobs and live happily ever after for all the Days Of Our Lives."

Shawn is IM-pressed. He thinks things are looking up. Not only that he sees Belle smiling for the first time in a long time.

"The drugs finally kicked in," says Belle. That's all fine, but Shawn needs to hear her say the real reason she wants to leave.

Patch and Goliath trade insults and threats. "I would gargle glass before I would take orders from you," snorts Patch, "Bring it on, man. Hit me with all you got."

Goliath points his taser. Several miles away, the generators at the Salem power plant whine and slowly spin to a stop. The entire town of Salem experiences what for generations to come will be known as the Great Blackout of '07. All the power in town hits Steve like a lightning bolt. He lights up like the Fourth of July and Christmas all rolled into one. Dr. Kraft walks in as the fireball formerly known as Patch sizzles on the floor.

Max shows off his new priestly duds and chants. Kayla is shocked he stole the clothes from a priest. Father Maximus rationalizes, "God helps those who help themselves."

Nick doesn't want to fake any more test results. He wonders if Chelsea just left the brush at Bo and Hope's place instead of Willow planting it. Chelsea tells him Bo is treating the brush as if it were the Holy Grail. "That will clear you," says Nick, "Believe me, nothing you have ever touched is holy."

The brat tosses out the trump card, "You said you would do anything for me, remember?" Nick says he won't do it.

Gabby interrupts Shawn and Belle with breakfast. She tells Shawn Duck wants him to gas up the generator. Shawn leaves. So much for breakfast. Gabby offers to watch Claire while Belle takes a shower. "Why are you so interested in my kid," asks Belle.

The brat cajoles. Nick resists. He wants her, but not this way. Nick says, "I want you to love me. But I'm not gonna compromise my integrity to make it happen."

Chelsea says, "You think I did this, don't you?"

Belle thinks Gabby cares, but a little too much. Gabby says she will back off. She just wants Belle to be her girlfriend. "Tell me this," says Belle, "Are you sure it's a girlfriend you're looking for?"

Gabby denies she has any interest at all in Shawn, who comes back into the room. Gabby decides it's time to leave, before she swoons in his presence. Belle asks Shawn if he loves her. "You know I do," says Shawn.

"Then help me pack so we can get out of here as soon as possible," says Belle.

Father Maximus suggests Kayla should become a nun. That would get them past the guards in the hospital. Max wonders what Bo and Roman would say if they saw Kayla right now. This isn't like her. She's an angel on earth. Kayla thinks maybe she should be an avenging angel, "I need to be what I fear and hate the most about the DiMeras. Lord, give me strength."

Prevuze

Dr. Kraft goes berserk. She wanted Patch medium rare and Goliath has fried him to a crisp. she orders Goliath to clean up the mess as the minions of hell cackle in the background.

Dr. Kraft ushers Patch back to his room. He and Goliath exchange stares. Steve throws him kissies.

Shawn says he will love Belle forever. "That's some commitment," says Belle, "considering I kicked you out of my bed."

"I don't exactly remember ever being in it," says Shawn, "But, then again, I suppose with a nut-job like you it wouldn't be a very memorable experience."

"I love you," says Belle.

"Even though I've been pig-headed sometimes?"

"You haven't been pig-headed," says Belle, "Pigs are actually pretty smart." Belle decides this wonderful moment calls for a total breakdown. This just isn't the right place for them to find each other.

Nick and Chelsea go another round, say nothing, and resolve nothing. He wonders what she would do if he asked her to rob a bank for him. She says she'd ask for the mask and gun and go do it. He insists that isn't true. The brat storms out.

Out in the hall, the brat calls and arranges for a flight to New York. Nick chases, but she's gone by the time he gets out there.

Blathering Belle bawls. She just has to get out of there. Shawn breaks down and agrees. The terrifying roller coaster that is Belle's personality completes its death-drop and rises to new heights. I mean it... you're going to have to pop a few Prozac to even watch this scene as Belle takes manic-depressive disorder to new levels. Gabby stands outside and listens.

Max gives Kayla a lecture about the different kinds of tough guys... the drunks, the bluffers, the viewers who have to sit through this drivel... and her kind of tough, soft on the outside and tough on the inside. The priest across the aisle gets up. Kayla pulls a wad-o-cash out of her purse and makes a donation to his parish. You can't buy love, but you can buy your way into heaven.

Dr. Kraft examines Steve and asks why he didn't go after Goliath. "My psychobabble-iatrist told me I should be on my best behavior."

"Good answer." She will see him in a private session tomorrow. Goliath unlocks the door so she can get out. she wants to talk to Goliath.

After Dr. Kraft leaves Goliath says, "You made yourself one mean enemy."

"Bring it on, bro," says Patch, "Bring it on."


Previews
========

Sami says, "I am more than OK, because you are not the father." EJ grabs the test results and says, "Let me see that."

Phillip says to Gabby, "I'm looking for two people who kidnapped my daughter and I've got reason to believe they came to this island." Shawn watches.

Patch screams, "It is a matter of life and death. Somebody could die." Dr. Kraft asks, "What are you talking about?"

A guy holds a gun and asks, "Who are you." Father Maximus and Sister Mary-Kayla stare.

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The drugs finally kicked in," says Belle. Did she really say this?? It wasn't in italics!

So seriously what the heck is the point of going to see if Stephano got John's kidney??? Am I missing something?

7:16 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

Don't worry, Anonymous, you aren't alone. I'm scratching my head over some of the things, too.

First, how did Max really get the uniform? Did he buy it from the priest or really take it away from him? And Kayla got out cash to give the other priest but what did he just HAPPEN to have a nun's uniform for sale on him?? And did the first priest ever come back from the bathroom?

Second, Phil was at Sami's shower the night before and by breakfast he's found the island. Did he use the magic Salem transporter again?

LOL over the Chez Rouge food and Comedy Channel. But especially the moving picture - a "jolting" experience! HAHAHAHAHHA

Great Prevuze.

8:02 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"The drugs finally kicked in," says Belle. Did she really say this?? It wasn't in italics!

Thank you for pointing that out. We have made the correction. HOWEVER, here is some Prevuze trivia... Did you know the original Prevuze, before we went big-time, had no italics ? Then, when we started posting here and picked up a lot more readers we found that many readers just simply didn't get it. They thought DOOL had gone stark raving bananaz. Frankly, we don't know how they could tell the difference, but that's another story. I would say something insensitive like, we had to dumb-it-down, but Prevuze would never be insensitive. Never.

8:23 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

So seriously what the heck is the point of going to see if Stephano got John's kidney??? Am I missing something?

No. But John is missing a kidney.

8:25 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

First, how did Max really get the uniform? Did he buy it from the priest or really take it away from him?

What, BD, you don't believe our rendition? I suppose it might just be the priest got up and went to the restroom and Max slid across the aisle, found the priest's suitcase and hotfingered it. Instead of being a full-blown mugger, Max is just a petty thief.

8:38 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

And Kayla got out cash to give the other priest but what did he just HAPPEN to have a nun's uniform for sale on him?? And did the first priest ever come back from the bathroom?

There was only one priest. He came back from the john and later Kayla gave him the money to make up for the fact that Max was a frockfilcher. As far as the nun's uniform goes, we can't say too much about that except the priest's name was Father Frank N. Furter. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

8:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh good, I'd hate to see a de-frocked priest!

Kayla must be a much better looking nun than John made.

8:44 AM  
Anonymous KOTU said...

I LOL at the fake amnio test going to the IRS and was about to mention the fact that these folks never bitch and moan about doing their taxes. 'Course, then I remembered that none of them actually ever go to work on a regular basis. They probably don't make enough to file anything but the short form. HAHAHAHA

Does anyone else think that Steve looks like Marlin Brando in "The Godfather" in that first picture? LOLOL

9:28 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

Since when do police departments use hospital labs for forensic work? Just asking.

Funny, funny Prevuze. It has to be good to make the mind-numbing stupidity of the recent shows entertaining. At least the antics at the looney bin sound like they will be entertaining.

Thanks, Prevuze!

9:33 AM  
Anonymous Nicky said...

Ah yes. I remember the good old days pre-italics.

Back then we had to know our show, know what was beyond the DROOLing writers' capabilities, and think about it.

That was asking a lot, man.

But it did provide extra giggles when there were "comments" like, "OH! MY! GAAAAWD! Did you see Prevuze? Alice Horton is going to be dancing naked on the tables at the premier of Alice's Place."

Yep, the good old days. nostalgic sigh

9:51 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

But it did provide extra giggles when there were "comments" like, "OH! MY! GAAAAWD! Did you see Prevuze? Alice Horton is going to be dancing naked on the tables at the premier of Alice's Place."

We're grateful for the trip down memory lane, Nickster, but I have a small correction. Alice really DID dance naked on the tables at the premiere of Alice's place. What an unforgetable episode that was...

11:13 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Kayla must be a much better looking nun than John made.

Oh, why did you have to bring up that image again. A mule with a shaved butt wearing a habit backwards makes a better looking nun than John. No offense, of course. John simply isn't the nun type.

11:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Quick reply to Applecheeks...
Since when do police departments use hospital labs for forensic work? Just asking.

Well that is sure one busy lab these days !!
first the DNA test on Mimi's father's ring, then the Sami's "paternity test", and now the DNA test on Chelsea's hair brush !

And I'm sure I'm forgetting a lot !

11:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They are killing us with this Steve/Kayla stuff. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

6:34 PM  

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