Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Dudley Do-Wrong

Duck and Shawn have a fowl-to-boy talk. Duck says he knows Shawn is hiding something, "You're a wide open book, sonny boy, with blank pages. I wonder if I were a boy scout like you how I would wind up here, and I ain't buying the old shipwreck story. I want to know what you are running away from."

"The game's over, Duck," says Shawn.

"Did you kill someone," asks Duck.

"It's nothing like that."

"But it is something, huh?"

Belle asks if Gabby heard Shawn and her talking. Gabby swears she didn't hear anything. She thinks going slow is a good idea. "I have to admit," says Belle, "We're both pretty slow. Please promise you won't say anything about the issue of separate beds." Gabby stares.

Celeste zones and decides she can't stay at the restaurant. She runs out. The elevator door opens to reveal EJ. "Well, Francesca," says EJ, "My father so loved calling you that. You've been coming here a lot recently haven't you?"

Patch chuckles. He wonders what Marlena will do. He thinks they are trying to stall him until the boys in the white coats arrive.

Kayla insists that's not what they are doing. Not so fast, Sweetness. Marlena says when they stopped at the truck stop, she called Roman. The police are coming any minute. She turns to Patch, "You're not going anywhere, Steve."

"Wow," says Gabby, "You're strung pretty tight. OK, I won't say anything to my dad. If you can't relax on this island then you can't relax anywhere. Like I said, it's no big deal."

Gabby suggests they go into another room and grab two twin beds and drag them in there. Duck never has to know they switched the furniture. She's sure Duck and Shawn are downstairs bonding right now.

Duck digs for more info. "I'm not a killer," insists Shawn.

"Worse, huh," says Duck, "You must be an actor.* For all I know you you're Lizzie Borden's first cousin waiting to hack us into sushi."

*Note: This was a DOOLism, not a Prevuzism.

Shawn says he wants to tell him the truth. Duck picks up the phone and says, "You're running from someone or something." He starts to make a call, but Shawn stops him and promises to tell the truth. If Duck buys the real story, he's dumber than we all thought.

EJ accuses Celeste of talking to Sami. She says she would rather break bread wit Lucifer.

"I hope so for your sake," says Lucifer Jr., "Because it would sadden me if you had become involved in matters that don't concern you."

Marlena says innocent people are being hurt. Billie doubles over in pain as Steve tries to make a move. Kayla begs him not to fore them to keep him there. Billie has another attack. Steve bolts. Marlena whips out a can of mace quicker than you can say Marlena Evans Craig Brady Black North Black. She sprays him in the face and Patch goes down like an imploding building. He flops around like a fish on a dock.

The Ace Moving Company finishes the great bed switch of 2007. These girls are good. They moved a double bed out and twin beds in on a hot day in the tropics and didn't even break a sweat. Gabby promises not to tell Duck. She leaves to get something else Belle will love, "I'll be right back."

Belle bounces Claire and says, "It's just like home, isn't it? Well, not exactly but it will be."

Duck tries to get the facts straight as he pounds whiskey. Shawn tells him the story about Phillip trying to take Claire. He promises they won't be in the way much longer. Duck doesn't buy it. He thinks Shawn is looking to find something permanent.

Celeste says she knows better than to put herself in the way of the DiMeras. She is too busy looking for Alexandra to bother herself with EJ and his antics. The waitress brings her food and she starts to go. EJ invites her to stay for a drink. She says EJ is wasting her time. "You misunderstood," says EJ, "My invitation was not a request."

Steve writhes. Billie and Marlena tie him up. Kayla stands to the side in a daze.

Belle puts up a picture of John and Marlena and says now it is just like home. Gabby comes in and brings a basket filled with soap, towels and girly shower stuff. She reaches for Claire and offers to take her to the beach while Belle showers.

Dr. Jekyll turns into Ms. Hyde, "TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF MY DAUGHTER!" Demons in the bowels of hell cower in fear.

Duck pounds more whiskey. Pickled duck is a delicacy on the island. Duck asks, "So, am I right, Dudley Do-Wrong?"

Shawn gives him his life's story, "I won't lie to you. Belle would be happier settling down. I have no hopes or expectations. I'm just asking for a couple of days." Duck says the last thing he needs is a guy with a badge and gun dropping in and looking for Shawn. Shawn says, "Yeah, well, if you bring the law in, I will take this place down, and I don't even have a car."

EJ and Celeste sit at a table and EJ asks her to unburden herself. He wants to know what he did to deserve her disrespect. Celeste says, "I curse your name for what you did to my girl."

EJ says, "Your girl ran of with a boy-toy."

Celeste says, "No. My girl was murdered and there is no doubt in my mind that you ordered her dead."

Marlena looks out the window for Roman. Billie insists she is OK and goes out for air. Marlena goes to check on her.

Steve and Kayla – together again. Steve chokes. He says he can't see. He begs her to help him. Kayla turns away and stares.

Gabby says she was just trying to help. Belle says she gets nervous whenever Claire is out of her sight. Gabby sees the picture of John and Marlena. She asks if Belle misses them. Belle tells Gabby she doesn't even know if John is alive. She wishes she could talk to them. Gabby suggests this thing called a telephone.

Marlena gets in the car with Billie. Billie grimaces and says, "Steve said if it is a concussion it's probably minor, and he is, after all, the best doctor around. I wonder what those sick bastards did to him."

Steve begs Kayla not to let them take him back. He said terrible things to her because he was trying to protect her. He will always love her. She loves him. He asks her to cut him loose and run away with him. He knows a little island with a guy named Duck... Kayla contemplates the ropes.

Marlena says she thinks EJ is behind the brainwashing. Well, duuuhhh... Billie thinks Steve deserves a beak. "If you think that," says Marlena, "Your concussion is worse than I thought."

Celeste says even Stefano would not casually take the life of his own bloodline. Stefano would be shocked by what EJ has done. EJ cuts her off. Celeste says he has no cause for concern, however. "Tell me something," says EJ, "Is that why you've been lying to my face?"

Belle says she can't call home. Gabby says Duck will never notice she made an overseas call, because Gabby takes care of the phone bills. Belle says she promised Shawn she wouldn't make any calls. Gabby wonders how one little call could hurt.

Shawn says, "Now you know who we are and why we are here. And that's more than we know. The question is, can I trust you?"

Duck says, "You can trust me. But if trouble follows you, I won't stick my neck out." Duck takes another shot of liquor and miraculously is still able to walk off the set.

Belle and Gabby come down and head for the phone. Shawn wonders what they are up to. The girls stare.

EJ tells Celeste it's time for her to shut up and listen to him. He says he and Sami are grappling with "tender issues." He is sensitive about who Sami confides in. He knows Celeste met with Sami earlier in the ladies' room. EJ is very concerned.

Kayla says she thinks Steve is lying. He reminds her he could have taken off after the accident but he didn't, "Not because of Billie but because I knew I would never see you again." He asks her to cut the ropes. Slowly, she turns... Step-by-step... Niagara Falls!

Kayla bends down and strokes his cheek. Steve says this is how it's always gong to be. If she sets him free they will have what they had before. She kisses him.

Shawn presses. He wants to know what the big secret is. Gabby tells him she gave Belle a basket full of girly stuff. They start to describe all the frilly things inside the basket. Shawn can't take it. He begins to sweat. The DT's strike. He grabs Claire and runs upstairs screaming all the way.

Gabby hands Belle the phone and leaves. Belle dials. Gabby watches.

Celeste claims she just came in for a drink. EJ says he knows different, "You met Samantha in the powder room. You were in there for over twenty minutes. You weren't reading Tarot cards. Pick your words carefully, or they will be your last."

Celeste says she was there to meet a friend who canceled on her. If she was in the powder room with Sami, it was a coincidence, but she insists she didn't see her, "You must be mistaken, mon petite cerveau. I would never have anything to do with that woman in this life or any other. You have my word on it."

Kayla backs off. "Say it," says Patch, "You feel it, right? It's me."

"I felt it," says Kayla.

"So you know the truth," says Patch.

"Yeah," says Kayla, "You can't fake a kiss. I know in my soul it's not you. I can't untie those ropes. It's the truth, right?"

Steve nods, "I had you going for a while there, didn't I?"

"You had me going," says Kayla, "But not the audience. They can see through this crap." Kayla starts to leave. Steve calls, but she turns and goes. Outside Kayla bawls her eyes out.

Shawn asks Claire if she wants to go swimming. Oops, The room is locked. Shawn goes back for the key.

Shawn comes back down and watches as Belle talks to the operator, "I'm trying to call the US. The United States. What's the problem? Why can't you get my call through?"


Billie comes up to Kayla. She says in the end Patch will get the help he needs and they'll be together. Sirens wail in the background. Kayla hopes Billie is right.

Patch wiggles and tries to get free.

Celeste insists she is telling the truth. EJ says he apologizes. He sends his best to Abe, "One more thing... I thought you might want to know about my father's condition."

Celeste says, "Stefano took a lot away from me – My body and soul and now he has destroyed my family through his son. I hope with all my heart he continues to rapidly fail. The sooner the better. I hope he rots in hell for all the Days Of Our Lives." Celeste leaves.

Billie and Kayla walk inside. Steve is standing at the door kicking it. Marlena comes in and tackles him. She and Billie subdue him as Marlena takes out a syringe and hovers it over Steve like the Sword of Damocles. Wave that thing in front of John and he'd pop out of his coma right away. Marlena jabs it into his arm. Kayla says, "No... no..." FF.


Shawn tells Belle, "You've got to forget about Salem. This is our life now. You'd better get used to it."

Dr. Kraft asks Kayla, "How do you help a patient who refuses to be helped?"

Billie stands in the background as Roman says to Chelsea, "We got some new information about the fire and your dad's house and he asked me to talk to you about it."

Patch says to Kayla, "You're a real pain in the ass. You know that?" Kayla gives him a little smile.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL at Jed's hairstyle!! I had thought the same thing myself!!

5:21 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

Prevuze caught the essense of a temper tantrum perfectly in the moving picture. Loved it.

It's a rare day when the DOOL writers come up with a great Prevuism like, "So you must be an actor". But, nope, wrong again. HAHAHAHA

If Doc had a syringe full of tranquilizer, why didn't she just put Patch out when then first got him tied up? Yeah, I know. It's DAZE.

6:43 AM  
Anonymous kotu said...

I know it is just a typo, but got a big LOL at Billie supposedly saying, "Steve deserves a beak."

Don't we all?? HAHAHAHAHAHA

6:46 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

OOOH! A moving picture always makes my day! HAHAHAHA

I gotta agree with Patch. Not only is Kayla a pain she's about as smart as - well - Belle.

My favorite Prevuisms today were "if you were a little smarter you'd be a great mule" and Squints coming out of his coma for a hypo.
Thanks for the morning laughs! :D

8:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with BD, I laught so much at the mule joke !
but my favorite:
Marlena whips out a can of mace quicker than you can say Marlena Evans Craig Brady Black North Black.
ahahhaah good one !

8:35 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"Steve deserves a beak."

Sorry, I actually left part of the episode out. Steve has gone so far off the deep end, he's actually starting to hallucinate that he's Big Bird...

10:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, I actually left part of the episode out
This drivel can cause even the most die-hard viewer to fall into a comatomse state.

11:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They should kill Kayla off then Steve would have good reason to go crazy! Steve and Billie have more chemistry going for them now.

3:08 PM  

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