Monday, March 12, 2007

A Girl Thing

Jed is in Willow's room to hide the check. EJ knocks and wants to know what is going on. EJ tells him he is the manager and Jed has some 'splainin to do.

Sami tells Nick she needs a favor. Nick says this is a bad time for him. He goes into the Billie-Chelsea blowup thing. He says he told Billie he would stay there in case Chelsea comes back. Sami says it's an emergency. Sami tells Nick, "I'm desperate. I need you to fake test results that show if the baby I'm carrying is Lucas'. That's not too tough, right?" Nick does a double-take.

Bo meets Billie at Chez Rouge. Billie tells him Chelsea ran away. Bo is glad to get some good news for a change. Billie tells him it's her fault this time, "You know that young guy I told you I slept with? Chelsea knew him."

Bo gets it, "It's not Nick is it? You did not sleep with Nick Fallon, did you?"

Hope plays with fire ant. BULLETIN! BULLETIN! The little critter has a name after all! Her name is Ciara Alice. Hope tells Ciara the story of the original Ciara – she was the queen of queens in the ant kingdom. And Alice is the matriarch of the Hortons. Now that we have that out of the way, it's time to get the kid off the set, "It's time for us to take a nap. We'll sleep until your daddy comes home and wakes us with a kiss, and then we can jump down his throat for waking us up."

The brat cries and stands outside Ho and Dope's door. She hopes Bo is there, but sees the lights go out and bawls, "I don't know what I'm gonna do."

Jed tells EJ this is his sister's room – Willow Stark, "I'm Jed." He sticks out his hand to shake but EJ ignores it. EJ suggests Jed leave. He says he will take care of locking up. Jed leaves. EJ puts on gloves, "Now then Willow, let's see where Mr. Cool put that check."

Nick wonders why Sami needs a bogus report. Sami says she knows Lucas is the father, but there is a guy bugging her and she wants to get him off her back. Nick suggests an amnio. Sami don' wan' no stinkin' amnio. Nick says if he gets caught he gets fired. He can't help her.

Bo can't believe it. He picks up a megaphone, "BILLIE! YOU HAD SEX WITH NICK FALLON?"

Billie shushes him as everyone in the restaurant leans in for the juicy details.

Billie tells Bo how it happened. If she could take it back, she would. Bo is totally disgusted. "But I'm not judging you," says Judge Brady.

Billie says, "Nick understands and now it's almost like it never happened. Chelsea found out and has run away. You know her, when she gets hurt she gets into terrible trouble."

The brat stands at the door and whines. She thinks her dad wouldn't have time for her anyway. Maybe he saw her and turned out the lights. She wallows in self-pity. She decides to find someplace else. She starts to leave, but comes back and writes a note...

"Dear dad. I am leaving, but have to tell you I will always love you. No matter what, despite everything. I wish things were different. I love you so much." Willow watches.

Billie tells Bo the brat left without a dime. Bo says he's not upset with her any more, but he hasn't told her that yet. Billie thinks that would have made a big difference, "She needs her dad."

Billie's phone rings. It's Abby. Billie hangs up and says the brat is on her way to Bo's house. Bo takes his phone out of his pocket and dials.

The brat's heart-wrenching letter continues, "Don't blame yourself, Dad. Maybe you didn't want a daughter. But I kept pushing. Tell Hope I'd trade with Zack in a minute. I hope one day you can forgive me. Always remember I love you – and I always will."

She tears the note out and slips it under the door. She staggers off, "Goodbye Salem. Goodbye, Dad."

Willow goes to the door.

Sami tries again. Nick says he hears she is a magnet for trouble. Sami claims those days are over, "This is just a glitch... or the teeniest tiniest of problems... OK, it's a big problem." Sami breaks down. Her future is on the line.

The tears flow and Nick caves in, "You win. Sort of." He agrees to get a blank report and Sami can do what she wants with it. He'll get it when he goes to work tomorrow. Sami says she needs it right now. She says she will stay and wait for Chelsea while Nick runs to get it.

Nick thinks that's not such a bad idea. It gets him away from Sami, for one thing. Sami goes over and flings open the door. Could we have a show of hands – is there anyone on earth who thinks Lucas isn't standing there? You, in the back, with your hand up. I'm afraid you've failed DOOL 101. You'll have to try again next semester. What are you doing here," asks Lucas.

The brat tries the door to the garage, but it's locked. Jed walks up. He says he's there looking for Abby. He asks if she is OK. "Yeah," cries Chelsea, "I just came here to crash." He asks what her problem is.

"Right now, my problem is you."

Nick tells Lucas he has to run an errand and leaves before the shooting starts. Lucas comes in and asks where Chelsea and Billie are. Sami tells him they aren't there. Lucas asks, "So it's just you and Nick hanging out?"

Yeah," says Sami, "He likes older women."

Lucas grills. They argue. Lucas tries to put her on the defensive, but Sami turns the tables on goober-boy, "I know I drive you crazy."

Lucas says, "Oh, no... That's OK, I want to help you."

EJ thinks the mattress would be too obvious a place for Jed to hide the check, but gives it a try anyway. He lifts the mattress and finds the check.

Willow picks the lock, but the phone inside rings. Willow scurries off.

Hope answers. Bo asks if Chelsea has been by. "No," says Hope, "It's just me and the ant queen here alone." Bo says he is on his way home. Hope hangs up and discovers Ciara is awake. She takes her upstairs to change her. Don't worry, she'll save the old diaper to use as a DOOL script.

Willow comes back. She peers inside and says, "Goodnight, everyone."

A voice from upstairs calls back, "Goodnight, John Boy."

Willow's phone rings and she heads back into the woods.

Sami has Lucas on the ropes. She says it's not that she doesn't trust him, but things are just jumbled up inside her right now. Lucas wonders if he needs to see a shrink, "Just one session." Sami says she is lucky he still wants to marry her. Lucas says there is nothing that would stop him. Lucas wants to go back to their apartment. Sami says she has to wait for Nick to return. She tells him there is a problem with Chelsea, "It's a girl thing." The very words strike terror in Lucas. They send him reeling back to his apartment.

"Keep my dinner warm for me," chirps Sami.

"I'll keep more than that warm for you," says Lucas. Lucas leaves. Sami sighs.

Willow is on the phone with EJ, "OMG! I'm right in the middle of it! Do you want me to get caught?"

EJ says he is just checking to make sure she is keeping up her end of the bargain, "Have fun."

EJ hangs up, "I always do. Life is far too bloody short. Gone in a flash." He runs into the bathroom and flushes the check, "Fun... always comes first."

The brat wants to know who the hell Jed is to ask her about her life. Jed says he was just asking because she looked sad, "If you ask me real nice, I could open that door for you. I happened to see a window on the side of the building was cracked open. Just say the word."

Willow creeps into Bo and Hope's house, "If I were jewelry where would I be? Not that I've ever had any." She hears Hope tell queen bee she'll be right back. Willow scurries and hides as Hope gets a bag and goes back upstairs. Willow vows to be more careful. She sneaks around and bumps into the crib. She lights a candle and wanders around.

Nick returns. Sami slices him to ribbons for being gone so long, and then thanks him. She promises never to forget this.

"Forget what," asks Nick.

"Right," says Sami, "I owe you."

Sami leaves. Could we have a show of hands – is there anyone on earth who thinks EJ isn't standing out in the hall? You, in the back, with your hand up. I'm afraid you've failed DOOL 101. You'll have to try again next semester.

The brat wonders where she can go, as Jed opens the door to the garage and lets her in.

"It's about time," she snorts, "It's freezing out there."

"I thought you were hot blooded enough to take it," says Jed. The brat thanks him even though she doesn't like him. Jed leaves. The brat goes to the back room, pulls two chairs together into a bed and lies down. Her phone rings. She answers. It's Bo. He asks where she is. He offers to come and get her. She tells him there is nothing he can do. Bo suggests she stay with him and Hope tonight. He apologizes for getting out of line over the issue about Patrick. Bo tells her Hope said all kinds of nice things about her. He offers to come and get her.

The brat says she doesn't believe him. She blows up. She's going somewhere nobody knows her.

"Which church would that be," asks Bo.

PrevuzeWillow puts the candle by the window. She douses the drapes with gasoline, lights a blowtorch and sets it beside the candle. She roots around for Hope's jewelry, and then, what to her surprise, sees the drapes are on fire. She dumps the artificial flowers out of a pot and looks inside to see if there is any water. As the fire rages, Willow leaves Chelsea's hairbrush and grabs her note at the front door. Willow heads for the hills.

From upstairs, Hope calls for Bo, "Is someone in there?"

Sami accuses EJ of sneaking up on her. He reminds her he lives there. She threatens to freak if he doesn't get away from her. Sami faints. EJ catches her on the way down and calls for Lucas.

Bo tries to talk Chelsea back from the ledge. Billie listens to the conversation. She picks up the megaphone Bo left on the table and shouts into the phone, "OMG! IS THAT CHELSEA? IS SHE ALL RIGHT?"

Chelsea hears Billie, "Is Mom with you? I knew it!" Bo asks for more time to talk. The brat tells him the bus is there.

"The bus to where," asks Bo. The brat hangs up.

Bo tells Billie he doesn't think she was in the bus station. Billie freaks. Bo says they will both go look for her. Billie hugs him and they head out.

Hope calls the fire department, and then calls Bo, "BO! WE'RE ON FIRE! Someone broke in and did this." Bo says he will be right there. Hope watches the fire.

Lucas asks what EJ did to Sami. Sami regains consciousness and asks Lucas what happened. Lucas is frantic. He wants to call an ambulance, but Sami vetoes it. She's just a little dizzy. And she feels faint, too. She sees the blank amnio report on the floor. She tells EJ she is fine and to let it go. EJ says goodnight. She picks things up and says she can't wait to get inside with Lucas and watch the movie. EJ watches the whole thing and clearly sees the blank report.

Willow is back in her room. She stashes Hope's jewelry and then goes to the mattress and sees the check is not there, "Dammit Jed, where did you put my check?"

Nick pines over a picture of Chelsea, "I'm so sorry, Chelsea."

The brat curls up to sleep.

Billie and Bo are at the Brady residence surveying the fire damage. Ciara is at Maggie's.

Billie offers to have Bo and Hope stay with her, but Bo has already booked a place.

Hope wonders who would have done this. Bo walks across the room. Pan in on the hairbrush.



Billie tells Hope, "It was me. I am the reason Chelsea ran away. I had a one-night stand with Nick." Hopes jaw drops about three stories.

Chelsea says to Nick, "I never want to see Nick Fallon's lying face again."

Phillip says, "Face it, Mom. I failed Claire. I failed myself."

Shawn yells, "Is anybody here?" Mr. Nasty points a rifle at his back and says, "Who the hell are you?"


Blogger Bulldog said...

Recycled DOOL scripts alone have saved an entire forest. They go clear back to Laura keeping Mike's true paternity from Mickey, circa 1965 I think.

Is there anyone on earth who doesn't believe Snarly will disown the brat again for the fire? If so it's a repeat of last semester for you, too. HAHAAHHAA

Loved the Maxabby picture (so true!) and other great Prevuzisms. Good night Jim Bob, good night, Prevuze.....

8:12 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Is there anyone on earth who doesn't believe Snarly will disown the brat again for the fire? If so it's a repeat of last semester for you, too. HAHAAHHAA

Loved the Maxabby picture (so true!) and other great Prevuzisms. Good night Jim Bob, good night, Prevuze.....

...Good-night-nurse. Not only will Bo disown Chelsea, but rest assured they will be using the recycled Lucas disowning Kate scripts.

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This whole stupid setup of Chelsea is weak writing.
Enough allready.

9:55 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

I hope Hope is OUTSIDE with little water bug while she's calling the fire department and describing the burning inferno to Bo!

Where was the jewelry?? Willow is snooping around downstairs. Hope is upstairs, near to her bedroom/closet/dressing area, where I assume MOST women keep their jewelry.

And speaking of jewelry, LOVED Bulldog's picture. I can't tell you how sick I am of looking at those same pair of earrings month after month!

Speaking of earrings - noticed on Friday's show that Jed was wearing the best looking pair of earrings in the bunch. HAHAHA

Finally, speaking of Jed, he bought the fact that a sharply-dressed, English-accented MAN was the manager of the yWca? There's one guppie you don't want to see in the gene pool!!

10:04 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

I hope Hope is OUTSIDE with little water bug while she's calling the fire department and describing the burning inferno to Bo!

Where was the jewelry?? Willow is snooping around downstairs.

Hope is outside with Ciara (an old zoological term meaning termite larva, BTW) when she makes the call.

The DOOL folks like really dark sets, even in broad daylight. It was hard to tell where Willow was, but the best we could determine, she went upstairs to snatch the jewels, came back down and set the candle down and then that's when the drapes caught fire. I know the show is on a tight budget, but it would really help if they would use a little light sometimes.

11:40 AM  
Blogger FROG said...

Maybe the name is another clue to where Salem is...."Queen of queens". Queens New York?! HAHAHAHHAHA

Sorry, long day.

12:27 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"Queen of queens". Queens New York?! HAHAHAHHAHA

Sorry, long day.

San Francisco?

Sorry, long day.

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sounds like they are going to use Bo to prop Chelsea.

5:07 PM  

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