Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Splitting The Atom

This is a SALEM Amber Alert - One Child: Claire Kiriakis; Two Juveniles: Belle Black Kiriakis, Shawn Brady; abducted 01/18/07; UNARMED and CLUELESS.
Sami bawls. Lucas doesn't get it. He asks if she is sure she is pregnant. Sami says she has been nauseated all week and bought a pregnancy test and BINGO! Lucas thinks that's great. They will be able to share this experience from the beginning, "You want this child, don't you?"

"Of course," says Sami, "I want to have your child. It's just that..."

"What's going on," asks Lucas, "What are you so damn afraid of?"

Chelsea has invited Nick and Abby to meet with her at the pub so she can ask their forgiveness.

Steve calls Kayla to give her a quick update. He'll be in touch with her as soon as the "packages" are delivered safely. Shawn asks to talk to her. He tells her they can't call his mom or dad, but to let them know they are OK. Steve cuts them off, "Time's up. Let's roll."

Shawn wants a cup o' joe. Patch vetoes it but then OK's it. He and Belle go in to get some things for the baby, too. Shawn will catch up. Once he's alone, the idiot calls Phillip to taunt him, "I hope dropping you in that hole didn't screw up that pretty new face of yours. We're just about to cross the finish line. I just wanted to call one last time to say goodbye. Claire is my daughter."

"All right, Shawn," says Phillip, "Run. But you'd better keep running, because I'm gong to find you and when I do, I swear to God I will..."

"GOD isn't listening to you any more," snorts Shawn, "He's as bored with this show as everyone else is. Have a nice life."

Phillip barges in to talk to Roman, who assures him they are on top of the situation, "Nobody is going to get out of the state."

Phillip asks, "Then how come I just got a call from your nephew saying they are doing just that?"

Roman says, "Hey, the Salem PD is doing everything it can. We've put on another pot of coffee and ordered donuts." Phillip accuses him of breaking the law to help his family. Roman tells him he heard Phillip doesn't have much respect for the law himself, since he was planning to take Claire out of the country, "Did I get that wrong? I heard Brussels. Is that where you were going to take the little sprout? "

Phillip tells him his family has businesses all over the world, and if he had to travel there, of course he would take Claire. Roman says that would violate the court agreement. Roman thinks Phillip was going to take Claire and leave the country and never come back. Phillip doesn't care what Roman thinks. Roman suggests Phillip call Victor and tell him to hire his own police force.

Phillip shifts gears and begs Roman to help him get his little girl back.

Patch drives and searches for some good road music – R&B suits his taste. Unfortunately, he finds something less musical as the sounds in his head override the radio station. Patch fights it and tells Shawn and Belle everything is cool. He was just upset at a tailgater.

Chelsea apologizes for all the mean things she has said. She never meant to hurt either of them. Nick and Abby are stunned. They have seen this act too many times before. They think she is doing this because Dr. Shane Patton told her to be nice to people.

"Well," says the brat, "He is a very smart, very wise..."

Abby interrupts, "Very good looking guy."

"He can't help it if he's attractive, Abby. It's like Kate Winslet once said, 'beauty is a curse.'"

"I'm not sure she said that," says Abby, "Maybe it was Kate Hudson. At least we know it wasn't Chelsea Benson."

Nick asks if she would still be trying to change if it weren't for Dr. Patton. The brat says he has to give her some kind of credit, "I've been bending over backwards trying not to be shallow. I admit I like looking at him; I'm not blind. But it's more about what he thinks and what he says."

Chelsea misses him with all her heart. Abby reminds her the last thing he said to her was goodbye. She thinks the brat should just move on. Chelsea says she can't. She's in love with him.

Sami thinks things are great with Lucas – better than they have ever been, but they never talked about having another child. Lucas confesses he has always wanted to have another child with her. It was all he dreamed of when he was married to Carrie. He insists Sami is a good mother and Will has always wanted a little brother or sister. He promises he will help with the 3am diaper changings and all that stuff, "I would do anything for our baby."

Sami freaks, "DON'T SAY THAT!"

Lucas says, "Wow. Those hormones have really kicked in, haven't they? Baby, this is a miracle. Our baby is a miracle. When it is older we can tell it about the night it was conceived – how you saved me and lifted that beam off me."

"Are you sure it was that night," asks Sami.

"Yeah," says Lucas, "We hadn't made love for a while before that. I keep track of those things. Sami agrees. It had to be that night. Oh, the torture!

Patch drives and zones. Shawn says, "Steve." Patch jumps out of his skin and tells Shawn to keep quiet or he'll wake the baby up.

"No," says Belle, "I wasn't sleeping." Patch gets squirrelly. Belle tells him to slow down. Patch tells her to settle down and go back to sleep. They only have twenty more miles to go to get to Canada. Shawn wonders if Steve is OK. As Steve tries to assure him he is fine, a siren wails in the background.

"Here we go," says Patch, "Everybody hang on."

The brat is really serious about her turnaround, "It's all because of Shane." She thinks the world would be a better place if everybody had someone like him in her life.

"You know what," says Nick, "I really have to go."

"Second door on the left," says Abby.

Nick starts to book as Mrs. Robinson walks in. The brat invites her to sit down with them and asks if anybody minds.

Nick is nervous, "Mind? Why would we m-m-mind?"

Billie says she doesn't have time but the brat insists. She has really exciting news for everyone.

Nick sits back down with Billie and immediately spills a glass of water all over the table. Billie and Nick argue about whose fault it was. The brat wants to know why everyone is acting so weird, "It was just water. What's wrong?"

Nick and Billie look at each other and say in unison, "Nothing."

Sami and Lucas tread the same tired ground as before. Feel free to use the button on your remote labeled "FF." Lucas offers her a drink. Sami just wants some water. Lucas decides water isn't good enough for her and limps out of the apartment to get Sami some "stuff" worthy of a mother-to-be.

Once Lucas is out, Sami's phone rings. She picks up to find daddy-candidate #2 on the other end. EJ asks, "Have you been dreaming about me?"

"Damn you, EJ, I told you not to call me!"

"Would you rather do this face-to-face," asks EJ, "I could stop by."

"OMG," says Sami, "You're here! Why?"

EJ says, "We have unfinished business."

Roman tells Phillip he can't blame a mother trying to hold on to her baby. Phillip nukes, "And I'm a father trying to hold on to his. I'm not going to lose Claire – you got that?" Roman gets it. Phillip also knows the stolen truck might be a decoy. For all he knows, Shawn and Belle might be hiding out in the pub and Roman knows that and it holding back. Roman gets nasty. He tells Phillip if they are up in Canada there is nothing anyone can do.

Sirens rage behind the delivery truck. Belle finally is happy – she has something to freak out about.

The loudspeaker from the cop car blares, "Pull over or we'll shoot your tires out."

Bedlam ensues inside the truck. Shawn yells, "Pull over... we're not gonna make it."

Patch screams, "I'm not pulling over!"


Patch tells Shawn to grab the wheel. At this point, the three stooges pull the most miraculous seat-switch in automotive history. It's a human shell-game as Belle moves to the passenger window seat holding Claire, while Shawn slides under her and into the driver's seat and Patch goes over and around and into the hole leading to the back of the truck. This scene will definitely win the Emmy for "Best choreography in a moving truck being chased by a police vehicle in the dead of night with a human cargo whose collective IQ is the same as Plymouth Rock."

Belle screams for Shawn to stop. Shawn has changed his tune and screams back at her, "He's gotten us this far! We have to trust him!"

Patch opens the door on the back of the truck and rages like the Incredible Hulk on steroids. He throws boxes out the back end. Apparently he hasn't quite thought things through. They have bullets – he has boxes. Not good odds.

The vacuum inside Belle's head expands as she totally comes off the rails. Shawn drives like a maniac (sorry about that redundancy ) and says, "I know, Belle. The guy is out of his mind. He's crazy. That's why I'm doing exactly what he told us to do."

Things at the pub have settled down. Sort of. Chelsea reaches into her purse and pulls out an envelope. She opens it up and reveals her acceptance letter to Salem U. Billie is amazed. "I'm going to be all that I can be," announces the brat.

Nick wonders if she is doing all this just to impress Dr. Patton. Billie says, "Oh, no, you're not still talking to that guy on the Internet, are you?"

Chelsea will fill her in on that later, but insists she is not doing this to impress him, "But, if it does... cool. I'm doing it for us, Mom. I'll make tons more money splitting the atom than I will waiting tables."

"You want to split atoms," asks Nick.

"I want to do brain surgery," says the brat, "But in Salem, it's the same thing."

Billie is soooooo proud of her, "Only... I don't think I'll be able to afford the tuition." The brat's face falls like a cardboard box rolling out of Steve's truck.

EJ tells Sami he's there to straighten things out. Sami reminds him he shot John. "Did I," says the slimeball, "I understand the witness is missing." Sami says she knows he's behind that, too. She did what she had to save Lucas' life. "I suppose our precious moments together were tortuous," says EJ.

Sami snorts, "You forced me to have sex with you."

"You had a choice."

"What," snaps Sami, "Watch Lucas die or let you plant the DiMera seed? What kind of a choice is that?"

"One that you took on freely and willingly," says EJ. He brings up her heroism award and asks if she has been contacted for movie rights. Sami sobs – she didn't ask for any award. She tells him to just shut up. She never wants him to call her again. She folds her phone, tosses it and collapses into a heap o' tears.

Roman assures Phillip if there was an accomplice, he will be charged with aiding and abetting. Phillip says, "That's it? You're just another dirty cop aren't you?"

Roman grabs Phillip, "I'm gonna put that off to you being young and dumb. Don't ever say that to me again. You wanna talk about being dirty? Let's talk about Victor convincing Belle to take Claire down to that diner so someone could kidnap her!"

Phillip insists that's garbage. Roman says he can prove it. Phillip is going to press charges. EJ walks in and interrupts the party, "Commander. It's been a long time."

Chelsea tells Billie money won't be a problem. She is eligible for a scholarship. With that and a part time job, she'll be able to make it. She doesn't have the job yet, though. Billie asks Nick to help Chelsea get a part-time job in the lab. You could drive Patch's truck through Nick's mouth.

Lucas comes back to find Sami blubbering. He wants to know what's wrong. "Lucas, you're going to hate me when I tell you," bawls Sami.

Lucas says, "You don't want to have this baby, do you? That's all right. We'll find a way." Sami totally breaks down.

Phillip leaves, offering to give Victor Roman's regards. EJ tells Roman he is mistaken if he thinks he shot John Black.

Roman immediately makes things official, "EJ, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent..."

Patch continues to pelt the cop car with cardboard. Shawn looks in the rearview mirror and tells Belle the cop car has pulled over.

Patch comes back up front and sticks his head into the cab. He tells Shawn once they cross the border, to ditch the truck. Shawn asks where he is going. Patch tells them he has other things to do. He runs to the back of the truck and takes a flying leap.

The brat runs to the other side of the table and paws Nick. She begs him to help her get a job in the lab. Nick stammers and yammers. "You will," says Chelsea, "Thank you so much."

Abby chimes in, "Chelsea, I wouldn't count on that job just yet."

"Who's gonna say no to Nick," asks the brat.

"I know I sure can't," says Billie.

The brat says if she had the job she could live in a dorm or sorority. Billie thinks it would be better if Chelsea lived at home.

"Yes," says the brat, "But if I lived at home, you wouldn't be able to have your secret lover over."


"Come on, Mom. You could have him over whenever you wanted without having to sneak around," says the brat.

Billie gets up and leaves. The brat chases and promises never to mention her secret boyfriend again. Billie says, "He is not my boyfriend, Chelsea. I do not appreciate you making snide remarks about my personal life in front of your friends." Billie leaves. Nick stares.

EJ gives Roman his word he did not shoot John. He points out that the minute Patch came to him and told him, he came right back. He wonders what reason Roman has for pressing charges. He hopes it's more than the fanciful eyewitness account of Lexie Carver, "Especially when she's off on another tryst with her lover, Tek. Her poor husband. So blind in so many ways." Roman asks why EJ came back. "To clear my name," says EJ, "And to see some dear friends I miss deeply. Your daughter, for one. We've become very close. Exceedingly close."

Sami's a basket case. She wants to have their child, but claims hormones are doing this. Lucas wants to know what is really wrong, "Trust me, dammit."

The brat rejoins Nick and Abby. She decides the guy Billie slept with is married and that's why she won't tell her his real name. Nick sits across the table and sweats. A car alarm goes off. Nick claims it's his car and bolts. The brat tries to convince Abby to go to college full time, "We could go to frat parties. Think of how much fun it would be."

Nick catches up to Billie and apologizes. She tells him he didn't say or do anything wrong. Billie starts to leave, but Nick stops her, "I think we need to talk – don't you – about that night."

Sami thinks something is going to ruin their happiness. "That's the old Sami talking," says Lucas, "You tell her to shut up and stay away for all the Days Of Our Lives. Nothing is going to come between us this time." Sami tries to tell him something but motormouth shuts her up. He starts pulling all the stuff he got out of the bag. They are going to celebrate tonight. Sami thanks him for giving her hope. "You just have to have a little faith. I have enough for both of us. All three of us. All four of us, if you go the evil twin scenario." Hugs. Sami turns the waterworks back on.

Roman tells EJ they had John wired down at the boathouse that night, "You stand there with that dumbass look on your face thinking you are so smart."

"You haven't got a clue what I am thinking," says EJ, "I'm thinking the man sullied my reputation, broke into my apartment and planted listening devices. He got exactly what he deserved." Roman grabs EJ and tells him not to push it. EJ wonders what Roman is going to do about it. Warnings and threats fly. Roman calls officer Casaris into the office and has EJ arrested.

As if Roman were not having enough fun, Phillip walks back in. He tells Roman when Belle and Shawn cross the border they will need money. The only thing of value they have is Belle's wedding ring. When they try to pawn it, alarms will go off all over. He reported it stolen, "Claire is as good as in my arms already. My baby's comin' home. To me."

Belle and Shawn have gotten out of the truck. Belle can't believe what happened back there, "Steve seemed possessed."

Shawn says, "If it weren't for him, we'd never have gotten out." He vows to take care of Claire and Belle, "I'll get us through this. You have to believe in me."

"Us," says Belle, "I believe in us."

Claire fusses, "Eh? "


Kate asks, "Did you shoot John or not?" EJ says, "Kill a man in cold blood? I couldn't do that. You know that, don't you?"

Sami says, "Tek and Lexie aren't coming back." Lucas asks, "Why not? Why would you say that?" Sami says, "Because they're dead. And EJ killed them!"

Connor says, "Give it up, Mom. You're a Lockhart, Mimi, and you have a right to know." Mimi asks, "Who is it?" Connor says, "It's..."

Chelsea cries, "Nick, I really like you."


Anonymous Law Student 11 said...

hehehe, I sooooo love the side pics today!!! (dream the impossible dream & and kudos to Bulldog fpr Bones)

Thanks for the look ahead!!

4:57 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

LOL at the Amber Alert...unarmed and clueless. HAHAHAHA

Brussels and "little sprout"; brain surgery the same as splitting an atom; nothing keeping Patch from going postal; ALL of the pictures....Prevuze has a million of 'em. Thank Goodness!

I believe a serious medical study could be done of the pregnancy cycles of Salem females. Some women give birth after three months and others after twelve. Some of them don't know they are pregnant for six of their nine months, yet Sami knows she's pregnant two weeks after conception. 'Tis a puzzlement. HAHAHAHA

6:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since when can you just drive like a maniac across the border into Canada (no border patrol apparently) and be scott free? If that were true, half the population of Canada would be made up of American criminals.

I wasn't aware that one had to be a full-time student to attend frat parties. You mean those frat boys ask to see a student ID before letting a girl in?

6:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Claire fusses, "Eh? " - HA!!!!

The show really is getting good - yay!

7:35 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

Are we going to get a new "crawl" across the top every episode?? :D

Way too many LOL moments, I'm afraid, to read discreetly in an office...Claire fusses "eh?", Patch acting like the Hulk on steroids (I can't wait to see this) and the whole racing truck thing. HAHAHAHA

Prevuze, you really outdid yourself today. If there was a Pulitzer Blog award it would win for sure!

7:57 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"Since when can you just drive like a maniac across the border into Canada (no border patrol apparently) and be scott free? "

OK. We left part of it out. Shawn drove the truck across the frozen Detroit River with the cops following in close pursuit. When they reached the Canadian shore, Patch raised his staff and the ice flow parted, inundating the cop car and drowning the cops. If this scenario seems a bit familiar to you, don't forget, it's pretty common for the DOOL writers to swipe story lines. Spoilers suggest that Shawn, Belle and Calire will now spend the next 40 years wandering around Canada... If we're lucky.

8:31 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

OMG! Now it's not safe to read the comments with anything in your mouth. I just did a messy spit-take reading Prevuze description of what was "left out" of the great escape scene.

Have pity!! My IT folks are getting tired of cleaning up my keyboard and monitor. HAHAHAHAHA

2:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a Canadian I must demand that DOOL take back their American idiots Dumb and Dumber oops I mean Shawn and Belle.
Can these story lines get any cheesier? The only thing good about them is the amount of slams Prevuze can get in.

2:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO...I loved the crawl, and the milk carton.
Yes it is amazing how Sami became preg. so quick, but more amazing would be if she had twins(one from each)
(yawnnn)on the Shawn & Belle storyline, So Salem is on the boarder of Canada and Mexico with Chicago on the east? What goof-balls. Can't wait to see how long they last away from mommy & daddy. The new Phillip hasn't impressed me either, Claire is not his, he needs to get over it! (get a puppy)
Since spring is coming and that means Babies...how about Billie & Nick, or Kate and E.J. those would be funny.
Thanks Prevuze for keeping it interesting.

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

heres a question how did belle and shawn get to canada faster then john and marlina and they were in a plane

3:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"heres a question how did belle and shawn get to canada faster then john and marlina and they were in a plane "

Patch found out that Phil's plastic surgeon in Montreal was having a two for one sale and wanted to get there before he closed up shop.


6:40 PM  

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