Thursday, January 18, 2007

Squire Crumpets

Sami looks in the mirror as Lucas comes out and tells her she's looking good. Likewise. Smooch. Sami suggests blowing off the award and staying home and...

Lucas says, "I wouldn't mind another 'episode' but your dad worked hard on this and besides, he's got a big ole gun."

Sami chuckles. She apologizes again about freaking out over the phone call. Will comes out as Sami and Lucas make out. He takes a picture and shows them the T-Shirt under his jacket. It says, "My mom is Sami Brady and yours isn't." Lucas takes a picture of the shirt. Will is so proud of her he's raising her level to "almost cool."

The brat tells Kate she doesn't get it, "Sami ruins all these lives but the town comes together to give her an award. She went from zero to hero at warp speed."

Both Hope and Bo try calling Shawn form their cell phones. He doesn't answer so they both leave a message for him to contact them. Hope wonders if they are just making things worse for Shawn. Bo assures her they aren't.

Kayla comes in. Bo is shocked to see her. He tells her he thought she and Steve would be on their way to Mexico by now. Kayla says, "Well, he told me he had an assignment and left."

There are twenty million people in metropolitan Mexico City. Gringo Steve walks into the first cantina he runs across, walks over to the bar and finds EJ and his new senorita. And he did it all with one eye tied behind his back. This guy is good. HE looks at EJ and says, "I'll buy you a drink." EJ recognizes him. "Ah you know me. Nice to be recognized. I'm flying solo. I'll have a tequila. Shaken, not stirred."

EJ smiles, "I take it you didn't come down here for the waters."

"No," says Patch, "I brought a little something from your friends at home. A warrant for your arrest. Here's to a happy new year from the Salem PD." Steve slaps the warrant on the bar.

Max goes through the baby-snatching plan. He's the getaway man. Mimi is the lookout. They all have their assignments. Belle says she needs to say goodbye to her father first. She gets out of the car and heads into the hospital. Max is upset at the delay. Shawn says, "If John dies when we're on the run she'll never forgive herself. Of course with Belle gone, it gives John more incentive to live." He thinks Mimi looks a little nervous.

"I've never been involved in a kidnapping before," says the former kidnapee.

"We're just taking back what is rightfully ours," says Shawn.

Belle walks into John's room. She sits by his bedside and pours her heart out. It would be great timing if your dryer buzzes right now. If not, pick up that remote and zap away. "Blada, Yada, goodbye daddy." She turns to find Marlena. Marlena asks why she is saying goodbye.

Kayla can't believe they sent Steve to confront EJ. Bo says they didn't send him – he volunteered. Hope chimes in and says Bo thought Kayla would be with him.

Kayla freaks, "Do you know what you've done here? You've sent my husband to meet a killer all by himself!"

EJ asks where the rest of the posse is.

"Just me," says Patch, "All by my lonesome." EJ tells Patch to take the warrant back. Patch thinks EJ should take it back himself. EJ doesn't think so. He points out that they could extradite him, but that would take five years, "So, as you Americans say, 'Hasta la vista, baby!"

Bo tells Kayla Steve begged him. "He lied to both of us," says Kayla.

Bo tells her about Steve's freak-out at CPS. He says he told Steve he wouldn't tell Kayla about it if he promised to see a shrink. Bo thinks he's scared of what he might find out. Bo walks away to see if he can phone Steve.

The brat asks how Kate could make her feel bad for wanting to have a loving family. Kate says she's had two loving families and is being ungrateful. She's had issues but needs to move on. She needs to accept the fact that Bo has a wife and a family.

"That is the meanest thing you have ever said to me," whines the brat, "You need to apologize to me right now."

Roman comes in and booms an introduction for Sami. Applause. Lots of extras get their big moment in this scene.

Belle tells Marlena about the plan to kidnap Claire. "What are you thinking," gasps Marlena.

"Thinking isn't my strong suit," says Belle.

Marlena begs her to wait until the final decision, "Kidnapping is a felony." Belle tells her about Phillip's plan to take Claire out of the country. This is their last chance. Marlena turns and looks at John. She turns back to Belle, "How do I help?"

Patch brings drinks to EJ and his senorita. He tells EJ he's on his side, "The smart thing to do is go back and give them your story."

EJ is skeptical, "How about if I write them a note?"

Patch asks, "About how you shot John in self defense? About how you almost killed me and my wife with the poison gas?"

The senorita leaves. EJ laughs. He tells Patch he has a vivid imagination, "And what's this about John being shot?"

"He's in a coma," says Patch.

"My prayers are with him and his family," says EJ, "I had nothing to do with it."

"Why are you laying low then?"

"I'm on holiday," says EJ, "I didn't shoot John Black. I left Salem for a reason. I knew the police wanted to set me up but I had nothing to do with anything criminal."

Patch says, "When I close my eye, you sound like British Royalty. According to the person who saw you shoot John Black you're nothing but a coward. That's right, Squire Crumpets, the cops have an eyewitness."

Belle is shocked, "You will help us?"

"Your dad agreed," says Marlena. Belle looks over at John. "We're still connected," says Marlena, "Connected, yes. Grounded, no." Marlena can't imagine how much she will miss Belle. Hugs. Tears. Shawn comes into the room and says they have to go. Marlena tells him to make damn sure he takes care of her girls. Hugs. Marlena will be praying for them. They walk out. Marlena turns and tells John he has to wake up, "Oh please... we need you!"

The brat can't believe Kate would say such a horrible thing. She was lonely growing up. She didn't have a big family. That's all she ever wanted.

Kate watches Sami across the room and says, "Breeding children just to have a lot of people around you dilutes the gene pool."

"You mean like Sami," says the brat, "You really hate her, don't you? This award tears you up inside. You're acting just as bad as she does."

Kate protests, "No I'm not."

"Coulda fooled me."

Hope and Kayla congratulate Sami. Will joins in.

Kayla takes Bo aside. Bo says he couldn't get through to Patch. Kayla feels something is wrong.

EJ thinks the eyewitness thing is a trick. Patch assures him it isn't. "Good," says EJ, "Then the eyewitness will clear me. Really, though, I'm not buying it."

"John could still come out of the coma," says Patch.

"Stranger things have happened," says EJ, "In fact, on this show, the real surprise would be if he doesn't come out of the coma. But now, if you will excuse me, there is a senorita I have to attend to.

As EJ starts to walk away, Patch grabs his arm and says, "Someone helped you pass the police roadblocks. Now the least you can do is tell me who that was."

EJ tells him to let go of the arm. He says he has made a lot of friends in the bar due to his generosity. People would get upset if someone was to threaten or hurt him. The crowd of ugly, toothless vaqueros moves in. Patch figures the odds aren't in his favor. He lets go, "There is no treat. I'm just talking."

EJ says his fairy godmother helped him escape. He says he's glad Patch came down in spite of his 'condition.' He knows his memories are coming back to torture him.

The brat tells Sami this is awesome. She asks how she did it... how she turned the whole family around, "Before they wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire." Sami says she knows she made a lot of mistakes.

Chelsea asks, "Well, have you got any advice for the pain-in-the-butt in training?"

Sami tells her no matter how much you annoy the people in the family they still love you, "Chelsea, just don't miss the opportunity, when it comes your way, to prove who you really are."

The brat thanks her for the pep talk and for helping them get the new apartment.

Marlena walks in. Sami asks about John. No change. Marlena suggests Sami go mingle. Hugs. Marlena tells her she is so proud.

Kayla asks about Belle. Marlena says they are at the hospital, "It is too late to stop them."

"Stop them from what," asks Bo.

"Corrupting the gene pool by reproducing themselves."

Shawn gets a call. Mimi says things are clear. Phillip just went in the building.

"This is it," says the bonehead, "Are you ready?" Hugs. Shawn goes into the men's room. Belle waits as Phillip comes up. He asks what Belle is doing there.

Kate reads Will's T-shirt, "Are you bragging or crying out for help."

He turns around and shows her the back, "My grandmother is Kate Roberts. Pity me."

Will wants to know why she is talking like that. He thinks Kate is jealous. Kate thinks Sami couldn't have saved his dad. Will says she'd better be careful or she will lose both Lucas and him for good.

Hope, Bo, Kayla and Marlena talk about the impending kidnapping. Hope says, "We've gotta stop them before it's too late."

Marlena says, "We're not going to try to stop them. Shawn and Belle are doing the right thing."

Phillip asks again. Belle says she is there to see her dad. He tells her not to give up hope. Belle asks why Claire is there. Phillip says she has been sneezing a lot lately. There are no other symptoms, so he's having her checked for allergies. Belle asks to hold her, "Please, just for a minute."

Patch asks EJ what he knows about the memories. "What," asks EJ, "You don't have strange noises and flashing lights in your head?"

"Who did this to me," screams Patch, "Stefano? Tony? You talk to me right now!"

EJ turns to the mob, "Get him out of here." He turns to Patch, "You listen. This might take you somewhere angels fear to tread." Patch lunges, but the Mexican Mafia holds him back.

Patch screams. He pulls the hook-and-ladder maneuver and gets past the guards. He attacks EJ. The boys throw him out. EJ yells, "When you get back to town say hi to Benjy for me."

Patch is gracious, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

Roman makes the award presentation, "Sami J, or is it Sami G, you did good." That speech will go down in history second only to the Gettysburg Address. Kiss. Applause. Sami thanks him. She says they have no idea how much this means to her. She's glad for a second chance, "Or is it a third chance? Or a fourth?" Keep counting, Sami. She thanks Lucas for giving her the strength. In a way he saved her life too because she doesn't know how she would live without him. Hugs. Applause.

Marlena says Shawn and Belle deserve to have their daughter. "She's breaking the law," says Bo. Marlena tells him Phillip and Victor were planning on taking Claire out of the country.

"Our son is doing exactly what you would do," says Hope.

"I guess you're right," says Bo, "In a situation like this, I'd be an irresponsible idiot, too."

PrevuzeSince Belle whined so nice, Phillip hands Claire over to her. Belle strolls down the hall with Claire, talking to her. When she is far enough away, she turns and yells, "SHAWN!" Shawn rockets out of the men's room and attacks Phillip. He gets him down on the floor and relentlessly beats him to a pulp, "Claire's my daughter, not yours! Stay the hell away from her!"

Belle and Shawn run into the waiting car. Phillip, now missing even more body parts, chases after them and screams, "Give me my daughter back!" Max peels out.

The bartender comes up to EJ and asks, "Senor Wells, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," says EJ, "Just bring me the bill."

"For you, it is free," says the bartender.

EJ snorts, "Just bring me the bloody bill."

The bartender leaves and EJ reaches for his wallet. Nothing. "My wallet? May cell phone?"

Patch lies cold and dead on the pavement. He comes to and looks up with blood streaming down his face. He reaches inside his pocket and pulls out EJ's wallet and cell phone. Chuckle.

Kate takes a drink of wine. She tells Sami, "I know that we've been at odds in the past but if it weren't for you my son would not be alive. So that's enough for me to forgive the past and move on from here." Sami is stunned. The mortal enemies shake hands.




Patch tells Bo and Kayla, "Look what I found in his wallet. That's the dude's travel visa, and if he wants to replace it he's gonna have to come back to the good ole US of A." Bo smiles his evil smile.

Phillip tells Mimi, "Belle and Shawn started this war and I'm finishing it. And I'm not taking any prisoners."

Belle sits on a park bench in the dark and asks Shawn, "Do you really think that we're gonna be safe?"

Lexie and Tek sit in his car. Lexie asks, "What are you talking about?" Tek says, "Let's go together. Let's run away."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

GO SHAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:39 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"GO SHAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Now, there's a sentence the boy can probably read.

5:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I sure hope Phillip's face transplant is ok after that beating!

6:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your writing/synopsis this morning was hillarious! I loved it. Thanks for the smile after being up all night with a croupy baby!


7:05 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"Thanks for the smile after being up all night with a croupy baby!"

Not Belle, I hope.

8:11 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

WoW! It's been a long time since we've had a moving picture. Always the highlight of my day! :D

Now what good did it do to go down there and just slap a warrant in front of EJ and leave?? It looks like that would just drive him further into hiding. And considering who he is I wouldn't think he'd need a visa to escape to Timbuktu if he wanted to.

Also, did Phil think they'd take the baby and run right back to the pub? Duh!

Great Prevuze today! And thanks to Prevuze we don't have to write to NBC to get a copy of Pard's speech. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

8:17 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"WoW! It's been a long time since we've had a moving picture."

A moving picture requires... uh... movement. A rare commodity on DOOL.

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Theresa said...

And thanks to Prevuze we don't have to write to NBC to get a copy of Pard's speech

LMAO Bulldog you crack me up!

Have you noticed they all have the same exact cell phone???

Maybe they should quit being cops and doctors and become cell phone salesmen.

12:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Also, did Phil think they'd take the baby and run right back to the pub? Duh!"

We're talking about Belle and Shawn, nothing is to "DUH" for them.....

2:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prevuze said:
Gringo Steve walks into the first cantina he runs across, walks over to the bar and finds EJ and his new senorita. And he did it all with one eye tied behind his back. This guy is good.

I said: Ha-ha-ha-ha. Great lines!

3:23 PM  

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