Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Identical Twins In Malibu

Lucas hobbles in and announces the shower is ready. Sami's ready for something, but it's not a shower. As they jockey around, she steps on his foot. Lucas backs off in pain.

Sami asks, "Are you OK?"

"Yeah," says Lucas, "It was an accident. I still love you."

Sami moves in, "Good, because now it's my turn to tell you what I want."

Smooch. Lucas forgets the pain. He stops and tells her he thinks it's amazing the way she saved him. He pours it on. Sami says sometimes it's hard for her to believe.

"Your life is about to change," says Lucas, "You will get that award for bravery."

Sami doesn't want to talk about it. She wants to talk about their future. Lucas doesn't want to talk at all. Sami worries as they romp.

Roman tells Bo he is temporary police commissioner. Abe is on medical leave, due to his failing eyesight. Roman asks, "Feel like making a trip?"

Bo says, "Something tells me this is not a vacation. Where?"

Roman says, "Mexico City. EJ is there and the local law isn't being very helpful. I think we should go persuade EJ to come back and face the music."

Stephanie and Kayla interrupt. Stephanie's flight is delayed. They came back for more excruciating goodbyes.

Speaking of excruciating... Patch writhes, "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" What's left of his brain follows instructions and leaves.

The brat doesn't understand why Lonely Splicer won't respond to her emails, "Girls like me don't come by every day."

"They do if you wait long enough at the corner of 6th and Elm," says Abby, "Or do you just mean obnoxious and rude?"

The brat types, "Dear Lonely Splicer. I get that you're shy, but lately I've been developing feelings for you. I found out your real name. I want to know more. It won't be long before I know where you live and work. Why don't you get online and talk? I'll be waiting."

Lonely Splicer types, "Chelsea: I can't leave you hanging with your heart on the keyboard. I'll tell you how I feel." Nick looks up and says, "Maybe not."

Patch agonizes. He remembers shock treatments and jiggling to the tune of 10,000 volts. He jiggles on the couch for old time's sake.

Kayla thinks the flight being delayed is a sign Stephanie should stay. Stephanie thinks Kayla is having second thoughts. Roman and Bo muster up every ounce of intelligence they have and decide not to get involved.

Stephanie orders two hot fudge sundaes. Bo thinks the timing sucks for him going to Mexico City. Roman makes his pitch, "Just tell Hope you've got important business down there."

"Wouldn't it be easier if you just shoot me," asks Bo.

"Easier than living with Hope, I'll grant you that," says Roman, "EJ put John in a coma, and he may be there for all the Days Of Our Lives. I'm having doubts about Lexie's story."

Lucas says, "Its' been a while since we..."

"Believe me," interrupts Sami, "I know." They maul each other. Lucas jerks in pain. Sami suggests the bedroom. On their way, the phone rings. Lucas heads into the bedroom while Sami answers. Sami chuckles and asks, "Who is this? Make it quick."

Scruffy EJ says, "I prefer nice and slow myself. How's my favorite girl, eh? Breathless at the sound of my voice?"

Sami snorts, "What do you want?"

"Nothing I haven't already had," says the cad, "That was special to me. I'll bet you thought so to."

"I did what I had to do," huffs Sami, "I was saving Lucas' life and that was it. You shot my stepfather. Tell me what you want. I'm in no mood for this."

"I suggest you get in the mood," says EJ, "The authorities around here are sniffing around."

"Maybe because you stink."

EJ says, "The Salem PD is planning a surprise for me. You don't know anything about that, do you?"

Lucas calls from the bedroom.

Roman and Bo talk about Lexie's statement. Roman can't shake the feeling, "Something ain't right."

Stephanie says Kayla and Patch don't want a kid around the house. Kayla says she wouldn't mind one. Stephanie thinks it would be a good idea for them to have another, "You could have your own grandkid . Is something wrong with Dad?"

Patch careens round the room like a crazed pinball, flinging anything that gets in his path. He finally calms down and looks around and surveys the mess, "Where is that maid? He calls out for Kayla. He reaches for the phone and dials, "It's me. I know you got your hands full right now but I need to see you... All right... Just work it out."

Nick gives himself a pep talk, "End it Nick. Clean break. No room for questions." He types, "I should have known you'd find out who I was sooner or later. You're smart, Angry Angel."

The brat's computer beeps. She reads and then types, "Dr. Shane Patton, I've missed you so much. It's been hard since you haven't responded. Are you mad?"

Dr. Patton responds, "I must be if I'm chasing you."

Abby asks, "What did he say."

"I don't know," says the brat, "I didn't read what he sent. I just sent mine."

Abby reads, "You knew I was a private guy and then went behind my back after I asked you not to." She says to the brat, "See, I told you."

Chelsea types, "It wasn't me. A loser who has this thing for me found your real name."

Nick reads her response, "LOSER?"

Patch contemplates a broken picture of him and Kayla. There is a knock at the door. Bo comes in and asks what happened. Patch gives him some lame story about kids throwing bricks through the window. Then he tells Bo he wants to talk about what happened at child services. He still doesn't know what set him off, and has been wondering what to do. He finally decided he needs a job.

EJ waits. Lucas waits. Sami says to EJ she didn't tell anyone she saw him. She tells him about the award she is going to get for saving Lucas. She doesn't want any more trouble. He tells her to keep her mouth shut. Sami erupts as Lucas comes out and listens, "Sami, who is that?"

Nick says, "Loser?" He types, "The real loser is you. You'd better start treating the people around you with a lot more respect while you still have a friend left. Goodbye."

The brat is shocked, "I'm the loser?" She types, "Wait, Shane, what did you mean by 'goodbye.' Did..." She stops typing, "OMG, Abby! He just signed off. What did I say that was so wrong?"


Bo thinks Steve is looking for a quick fix. He has to remember what happened to him. Steve says since he returned from the dead, all he has been doing is looking back. He needs something to do. He wants a job with the Salem PD.

"I thought you said you need something to do," says Bo.

Sami lies to Lucas. She says the person on the phone was some guy who saw the presentation for Mythic. She stammers. Lucas asks how he reached her. Sami says she gave him her business card, but Lucas doesn't think she would have her cell phone number on that. Sami wiggles, "Well, obviously he tracked me down somehow."

Lucas repeats what he heard her say to the guy on the phone, "This guy has a slimy disgusting voice you don't want to hear?" Sami tries a diversion tactic. She suggests the bedroom. Lucas wants to know if she is keeping secrets again. He tells her it doesn't matter what has happened in the past.

Sami says it's hard for her to trust that. He begs her to tell him who it was on the phone. Sami breaks down, "It was EJ."

Kayla tells Stephanie Patch still has some years of his memory missing. Stephanie thinks if that's the only problem they should add another baby to the family.

"We have you," says Kayla, "One infant is enough."

Stephanie remembers the first Christmas she really understood Santa, two years ago. She snuck downstairs but didn't see Santa. She saw Kayla crying. She was trying to put her new bike together. She went up and prayed for Santa, who has now apparently taken over for God, to bring Dad back and made that same wish every year until this last Christmas. That's why she can leave. He's back. Every prayer for her family has been answered.

Bo gets Patch's pitch. Bo says Patch lost his mind at CPS. They can't give him a gun and put him on the streets. Patch begs, "Come on. Throw me a rope, please don't say no. Help me."

Lucas wants to know why EJ called, "He knows they will trace the call." Sami says she doesn't know why he called. Maybe he just wanted to upset and anger her.

Lucas hugs her. He will not let EJ get to her, "Your dad and I will take care of this." He asks her to call Roman and tell him EJ called.

Sami don' wanna, "We've been so close lately and Will is proud of me. I don't want that to change." Lucas promises it won't. Sami wonders what if EJ finds a way to ruin things for them. Hugs.

Abby tells Chelsea to calm down, "Maybe that's not the way you treat people like Nick." The brat tries to defend herself. She thinks Abby is being harsh.

"It hurts, doesn't it," says Abby, "Words that a friend tosses off without thinking. I'm not trying to hurt you. It's your turn – read me up and down."

The brat beams, "Abby! You are brilliant! I love you! You're a genius!" Abby may be a genius, but she doesn't know what the hell the brat is talking about.

Nick looks at the brat's picture and agonizes. Dr. Rebert, a.k.a. Shane Patton, walks in and asks what is up.

Nick tells him, "This girl and I have been IM-ing."

"I hope you're using protection," says Dr. Rebert.

"I told her lies about myself. I gave her a fake name and career and a photo of someone else."

Dr. Rebert tells him to tell her the truth, "Let's dust this imaginary guy. Tell her it's over."

"I did," says Nick.

Dr. Rebert recognizes the symptoms, "Man, you got it bad. I'll tell you how to make this work for you."

Roman has arrived at Sami's apartment. He asks her about EJ. Sami says she doesn't remember what he said on the phone. She was so surprised to hear from him it all went blank. Roman says they will trace the call and make things work. He reminds her tomorrow is her big day – when she will receive the award, "There isn't anything you can't handle. So smile Sami J... or is it Sami G? "

Steve points at his Patch and tells Bo he owes him. Bo says that score was settled a long time ago.

"Guilt is forever – like diamonds," says Patch.

Bo heaves a heavy sigh. He says Roman needs help to fly down and talk to EJ. They want to make him nervous. All his cash is frozen and they need to make him as uncomfortable as possible.

Patch is ready to go. Bo wonders what if he has an episode, "You could wind up in a Mexican cage and they don't play ball with the Gringos. I'll give it to you on one condition. Non-negotiable."

The brat runs to her computer. She'll give him nice and sweet, if that's what he wants. She types, "So you want a kinder, gentler girl. That's exactly what Ill be for you."

Dr. Rebert counsels Nick, "The girl just got dumped. She's going to need to be comforted. That's where you come in. You be the good guy. I want you to be the shoulder to cry on."

"You really think it will work," asks Nick

"Always," says Dr. Rebert, "Three different languages, 26 countries and that doesn't count a pair of identical twins in Malibu. When it comes to girls, Dr. Rebert knows his anatomy, when it comes to medicine, I'm lost." Technical question: is a pair of identical twins four people?

Lucas congratulates Sami for telling the truth after they practically ruined a crowbar prying it out of her. She is never going back to her old self. Sami wants that a lot, but is afraid it will fall apart like it always does. Lucas says this time is different. She needs to concentrate on her great future with him and Will. She promises she will do that. She will do anything for him.

Lucas has a little request... "I love you my Sami. My new Sami." Hugs. Sami frets.

Stephanie looks at her watch, "They said a two hour delay and it's been two hours – we'd better get to the airport. Just promise you won't cry."

"Your father would be crying his eyes out if he were here," says Kayla.

"You mean crying his eye out," says Stephanie, "Having a baby is just the thing he needs to turn things around."

Bo's non-negotiable demand is that Patch has to take Kayla with him. He thinks she will help keep him in check. Bo wants that SOB looking over his shoulder until he's back in the system. They shake on it. Bo will let Roman know. He turns over the broken picture and wonders what's up with that.

"Housekeeping here is lousy," says Patch. He takes it and vows to get it fixed.

"Take it easy man," says Bo.

"You know me," says Patch, "I always do. Except for my episodes form hell."

Bo leaves. Patch contemplates the picture. He touches the broken glass. Blood drips from his index finger. FF picture.


Patch tells EJ, "Someone helped you pass the police roadblocks. Now the least you can do is tell me who that was."

Chelsea asks, "Well, have you got any advice for the pain-in-the-butt in training?" Sami says, "Chelsea, just don't miss the opportunity, when it comes your way, to prove who you really are."

Hope says, "We've gotta stop them before it's too late." Marlena says, "We're not going to try to stop them. Shawn and Belle are doing the right thing." Bo puts his phone to his ear.

Shawn beats the stuffing out of Phillip, "Claire's my daughter, not yours! Stay the hell away from her!"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

....when it comes to medicine, I'm lost." Technical question: is a pair of identical twins four people? HA!!!!

7:13 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

Now what police department would let some half-crazy civilian work with them on...oh. Yeah. The Salem PD.

About the upcoming previews, you know even an injured/recuperating ex-Marine would clean Jr.'s clock in about two seconds. I bet they don't have it turn out that way, tho.

My favorite Prevuisms today: "You could have your own grandkid" and learning about Santa two years ago. HAHAHAHAHHA

Prevuze! Excellente! Bravo!! :D

8:24 AM  
Anonymous onyx said...

I bet Steve doesn't take Kayla with him and she goes after him and finds him down there.

9:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So after all of Stephanies whining about getting her parents back togther she is leaving. How annoying.

9:48 AM  

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