Thursday, August 24, 2006

Your Fiancée Has Flown The Coop

The clueless quad holds vigil at Shawn's bed. Lexie suggests a DNA test. Phillip thinks it's unnecessary, "There is no possible way Shawn could be Claire's father, right Belle? " Belle stares. Phillip stares.

Carrie and Marlena admire Sami's dress. "Sami's dress is gorgeous," says Carrie, "It must be the most beautiful one so far. I mean yet. Sorry. I didn't mean to sound so pessimistic."

"Either way you look at it," says Marlena, "It's a huge collection."

Carrie tells Marlena Sami called on EJ's phone. She insists Sami is in good hands. Deana the hairdresser is ready to leave since she has another client waiting. They talk her out of it and she heads for her car to get her hot rollers. Marlena hopes Sami and EJ aren't off being a couple of hot rollers themselves.

Lucas comes in to see Austin. He says everything is on schedule and Will is taking his groomsman responsibilities very seriously. Will is into Blue October and has selected the reception music. Lucas asks if Austin is having second thoughts. If he wants to back out, it's not too late. Austin insists Sami is the woman for him. He decides now would be a good time to go tell her that. Lucas tells him he can't go see her. Austin goes anyway.

EJ and Sami walk into the police station in cuffs. Sami insists they didn't do anything wrong. Officer Peters says they were trespassing. EJ claims they were just getting out of the rain. The door was unlocked. He tells Peters it's Sami's McWedding day. Peters doesn't buy it, "Tell it to the judge."

Belle tells Lexie Claire has to be Phillip's daughter. Lexie backs off on doing the DNA tests, but says she will investigate the origin of the paperwork. Phillip is going to investigate too, by golly. Everyone leaves Shawn's room. Lexie stops and ponders.

Outside, Phillip is upset. He wants to strangle whoever is doing this, "Are we supposed to believe this with no questions asked? That's not going to happen."

"Thank God," sighs Mimi.

"Why do you say it like that," says Belle, "Is there something you aren't telling us?"

Austin knocks on the bridal chamber door. He says he wants to talk to Sami. Inside, Carrie panics, "Austin can't know Sami isn't here." Austin keeps it up. Nothing. Carrie comes out. She tells Austin he should leave, "Sami's busy. You know, she has this wedding and everything."

Austin drools, "I know Sami didn't want to be upstaged, but you look amazing." Lucas agrees.

Carrie claims Sami didn't hear Austin, "They're blow drying her hair and she's listening to her MP3 player."

Inspector Lucas wonders when Sami got an MP3. Carrie says, "She borrowed mine. You know, the one I bought so I would have something to drown out the sound of your incessant voice"

Austin asks Carrie to have Sami to come to the door, "I won't look at her. I'll talk through the door. Is there a problem?"

Sami tells Peters he will be in trouble when her father finds out what he has done, "Do you know who he is?"

"I don't care if he is George Dubya," says Peters.

"Would you care if he is Roman Brady," asks EJ.

"Which one," asks Peters.

"I've been trying to tell you that," says Sami, "So will you kindly take these handcuffs off of me so that I can go get married?"

Mimi says she just meant she's glad none of them fell for the phony DNA test. Phillip is going to find the person who did this and make them pay.

The brat wonders what is going on with Austin and Carrie. Billie snaps at her, "Stay out of it."

Carrie stumbles around for words. She doesn't want to go get Sami. Austin asks Carrie to tell Sami how excited he is to marry her. Carrie claims Sami is putting on the finishing touches and doesn't want to be disturbed.

Lucas' mouth runs out of control, "With the MP3 player blasting in her ears?"

Carrie sighs, "I have to tell you something about Sami."

No need. The brat comes out of the bridal chamber and announces, "Your fiancée has flown the coop."

Peters asks, "Roman Brady... How did you come up with that little get out of jail free card?" He doesn’t believe Roman is her dad. Unfortunately Roman is off today. He also isn't at work. Sami insists that's because he wanted to be at her wedding.

Peters says, "If the commander's daughter was getting married, wouldn't I know about that? It's a once in a lifetime event."

Sami whispers, "For some people."

Peters yells, "Book 'em, Danno! "

Sami wonders if they get a phone call. "The phone call comes after booking," says Peters.

"Maybe by then I'll have missed the entire wedding," says Sami.

"Lucky groom," says Peters.

Lexie announces, "Shawn is free to go." Phillip reminds Belle they have to go to the wedding. Mimi sends her regrets. Phillip and Belle leave. Lexie tells Mimi Shawn is very lucky. Mimi goes in and tells Shawn he's in the clear. Hugs.

Evil Eve arranges files. John walks up to her and tells her he can't wait to pick up where they left off. He suggests someplace quiet and romantic where they can get to know each other.

Peters walks up behind them, "Eve, That perp I brought in was telling the truth. Her fingerprints show her name really is Samantha Brady, as in Commander Brady."

John contorts his face and asks, "What the hell? You just arrested Samantha Brady?"


Chelsea breaks the news about the missing bride. Carrie is upset with her. Carrie tries to smooth things over, "She's just running a little late. She and EJ..."

Austin raises his eyebrows, "She's wit EJ?"

Carrie explains. The brat is helpful, "Now that she's with that really hot racecar driver they either took the long way or took a detour to wherever runaway brides go."

Kate comes in and overhears the conversation, "Thank God! My prayers have been answered."

Sami paces in her dungeon. The bitch-ho'z gather 'round and ask if this is her first time in jail. "No," says Sami, "I even made it to death row once. That was a mistake just like this is." She tells them Peters brought in.

The bitch-ho'z put two and two together, "Peters runs the vice squad."

"Yeah," says Sami, "I was with a guy, minding my own business and Peters arrested us."

"A girl has to earn a living," says bitch-ho #1.

Sami says, "I didn't mean it like that. I'm not like you... ladies."

Bitch-ho #2 steps up, "What? Do you think you're better than us?"

"No," says Sami, "It's just that I'm not in the... entertainment world. I was on my way to church. I'm getting married today."

"And then you woke up," says bitch-ho #1.

"Where is this house," says bitch-ho #2, "

"In other words," says bitch-ho #1, "Where is your territory?"

"No," says Sami, "It's not like that. My dad is a Salem policeman."

"And my sugar daddy is the DA," says bitch-ho #1. The bitch-ho'z high-five.

Sami grabs the bars and says, "OMG! Tell me what I did to deserve this."

Mimi tells Shawn she will make sure he follows doctor's orders. Shawn says, "Well at least there is one good thing coming from all this... We don't have to go to Sami's wedding."

The bitch-ho'z counsel Sami, "There are worse things than getting busted."

John and Eve arrive at Sami's cell. John is tickled, "Well, Samantha, what kind of mess have you gotten into this time?"

Sami yells, "You have to get me to the church!"

John snickers and says, "I don't know..." Sami smacks him through the bars.

They open the cell door and let Sami out. As they leave bitch-ho #1 says, "Sami girl, why didn't you tell us your john was so cute?"

Kate is beside herself with joy, "Austin... I know this hurts..." Carrie butts in and claims Sami didn't run off with EJ. Austin thinks there must be a good reason why they haven't shown up. Kate reminds Austin of Sami's track record, "And somehow EJ always gets what he wants." Austin insists Sami and EJ are just friends.

Kate rubs it in, "Austin, everyone has seen a spark between them. I wouldn't put it past them to run off together."

The brat chimes in, "What other explanation would there be?"

"They could have had a flat tire," says Carrie.

"He's a racecar driver," says the brat.

Carrie insists they aren't calling off the wedding, "Isn't that right Austin?"

"Right," drones Austin, "No one's calling off the wedding. I'm sure she will be here."

"You haven't learned anything from the past," says Kate.

"She will be here," insists Austin, "I will be in the groom's room and will see you all in church!"

Everyone leaves. Kate says, "And if come reception time Austin is still single, it will be time to break out the champagne."

Peters still has to process Sami. Sami threatens. "I wish you would understand," says Peters.

"Just like you understood it's my wedding day," yells Sami, "All you had to do was give me a ride to the church. Austin's probably called off the ceremony by now. And Kate, the Wicked Witch of the West, is probably jumping for joy."

"I'm sorry," says Peters, "I really am."

"To little to late," snaps Sami, "I'll walk down that aisle with my dad and will tell him you are the reason I am late!"

John walks in and announces Sami is free to go. "Great," says Sami, "But we still don't have a ride to the church."

John thinks this is more fun than a trip to Bag-O-Pills Mart. "Sure you do," he says, "Number 9 bus, right outside the station... grab a transfer downtown... straight shot to St. Luke's."

Sami practically cries, "You're really enjoying this, aren't you John?"

"Well," says John, "You've gotta admit, it's pretty comical, what with your history of wedding day disasters and all." Chuckle-chuckle... "Uh... No... you're not. Of course I will drive you to the church. Now, aren't you glad you invited me?"


"Come on, suck up," says John, "I’m the one who sprung you, aren't I?"

"OK! OK! Thank you! Let's go!"

Sami runs out. John follows. On the way out, he tells Eve, "Pick you up around 7."

"I'll be waiting," says Eve.

Shawn and Mimi arrive at the loft. Shawn apologizes for scaring her. Mimi says they will just learn from their mistakes and move on. Shawn tells her he's so lucky to have her in his life.

Maggie comes out with Claire, "We thought we heard voices out here." She lectures Shawn for frightening them and then gives the drinking PSA. Shawn promises it won't happen again. He appreciates her concern. Maggie explains why she is babysitting instead of the neighbor, "They didn't want to pay extra for another actor to appear on screen." Shawn feels like he's been given a second chance.

Marlena gets off the phone with Roman, "He will have his friends at the station keep an eye out for Sami." Marlena and Carrie worry about Sami, but figure no news is good news. They speculate on what might have happened to her and decide the wedding will happen eventually.

Marlena asks how Carrie is doing. Carrie asks, "Do you mean – do I wish I was the bride today? I can't hide anything from you. I just hope everything works out the way it's supposed to. This is what Sami has wanted her whole life. Lucas is a great guy. I'm incredibly lucky."

"Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself," says Marlena, "I'm so sorry about your pregnancy.

"I just feel like I've let so many people down," says Carrie, "I don't want to add Sami to that list. I am truly happy for her."

Marlena tells her sometimes it's hard to forget an old love, "So I guess a part of me wonders if you are hoping this wedding doesn't happen. The other part of me isn't thinking right now or it would be wondering the same thing."

Maggie tells Shawn to follow Mimi's instructions. Maggie and Claire say goodbye.

Billie doesn't know what to think. She asks if the brat called Shawn. The brat tells her she did, and Shawn has been released.

"Good," says Billie, "At least something good happened today."

"Let's hope so," says the brat.

Billie wonders what that is all about, "You said something earlier about a good deed. What did you do?"

Phillip and Belle walk in. "OMG," says the brat, "You two are still together?

Belle asks, "What are you talking about Chelsea? Why wouldn't we be?"

Austin worries. Lucas insists Sami will be there. Kate butts in and apologizes for sounding unsupportive. She just wants him to be happy. Austin says, "If you want me to be happy, wipe that smile off your face."

Kate says, "I just thought today was going to be the worst day of my life, and now it's going to be the opposite."

PrevuzeMarlena and Carrie talk. Marlena remembers Sami used to borrow Carrie's dolls and break them. Carrie never wanted them after that. Oh, the metaphor! Marlena wonders if Carrie is doing this out of a sense of guilt. Before Carrie can answer, John and Sami walk in. Sami says, "I will tell you the whole story later, because I am going to marry Austin today!" FF on Austin and Sami with a big smile on Sami's face.


Lexie says, "There are a lot of other things going on here, too." Tek asks, "What do you mean?" Lexie says, "I mean that we all could be in for a whole lot of trouble."

Kayla asks, "What's up with the two of you. You look like two cats that swallowed the canaries." Bo and Patch stand there with canary feathers in their mouths. Bo says, "Nothin'... uh..."

Carrie says, "I can see it in your eyes, Belle. You wish that Claire was Shawn's baby, don't you?" The brat listens in.

Roman asks Sami, "Do you want to marry Austin or not?" Sami stands there in tears.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did they leave poor EJ in jail???

Excellent as always, Prevuze!!

5:16 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"Did they leave poor EJ in jail???"

EJ was sprung, too, but stayed in the background because, of course, he added nothing to the snappy banter between John and Sami.

5:56 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

I started giggling at Phil's "IQ" T-shirt; laughed out loud at Belle struggling over the technical jargon; lost it completely with Bo's Superglue toothpaste. Had barely recovered from all that when I reached that final picture of Squints contemplating Sami's nefarious deeds. LOLOL Prevuze and Bulldog were on a roll today!

This was on top of the great Prevuisms like, "Which Roman Brady?" HAHAHAHA

6:28 AM  
Anonymous KOTU said...

Uh Oh! Discussions about the beautiful wedding dress. Does the viewer actually SEE the dress, Prevuze?

If so, the dreaded wedding dress curse has been invoked and the wedding won't happen.

Too bad, so sad for Sami. I thought they would at least get through the ceremony on this one.

6:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bitch-ho #1 says, "Sami girl, why didn't you tell us your john was so cute?"
And Sami's answer: "He's not my john, he's my mom's"

Sami grabs the bars and says, "OMG! Tell me what I did to deserve this."
The viewers agree.

Great laughs!

6:48 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"Does the viewer actually SEE the dress, Prevuze?"

Prevuze ruling is the viewers do not actually see the dress. Carrie picks up a glob of lace which is probably the veil, but it could also be packing material if you stretch it a bit. As they walk around the room, there is what might be a wedding dress draped over the couch, but you really don't get a any kind of a look at it.

Heck, KOTU, we got a better look at Carrie's dress when it was delivered to Sami by mistake and they got through that wedding OK.

7:11 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

I loved the expression on Squints' face and Belle struggling to figure out that technical medical jargon. But the best was "Roman is off today. He also isn't at work." HAHAHAHAHA

I, too, was concerned about the wedding dress curse and glad Prevuze has answered that for us. After all of this I'd hate for the curse to stop another wedding.

Great Prevuze. Thanks!! :D

7:37 AM  

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