Thursday, April 15, 2010

Prevuze Equipment Crisis - Day 3

I know what you're thinking. You think while you are not getting the blog postings, I'm out having a good time... partying... being the Nero of blogging and fiddling while my readers burn about the fact they have no DOOL recap.

Au contraire, mes amis. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I assure you the last few days for me have been nothing but a living hell.

I have been subjected to dangers beyond belief...

Oh, I know, you think it's just a sign and they can put up a sign anywhere even if there is no real danger. Well, let me introduce you to my friend, Al...

Al is a nasty old boy and quick. Very quick. And that's no croc (pun intended).

But dealing with Al has been a walk in the park compared to the other slings and arrows I have suffered during my own personal walk in the park.

Let me show you something that will curdle your blood. No one, I mean no one should be punished with this...

But this... This, my dear readers is truly cruel and unusual punishment. If this doesn't qualify as torture, I'd like to know what does...

But that is only the beginning. I must caution you, if you have a weak stomach, do not read on. The account you are about to read is true. The pictures you are looking at have been staged after the fact, but the shots accurately depict what really happened.

CAUTION: The remainder of this posting contains a graphic description of a horrible accident. Continue to read at your own risk. If you are the least bit squeamish, shocked easily, pregnant, have small children present, think like a small child or buy some of the outlandish things you see on DOOL, please stop reading now.

My partner, who for reasons that will become obvious wishes to remain anonymous, became distracted while driving one of the environmentally-friendly but safety-challenged vehicles we were issued during our woodland convoy. While distracted, my partner continued to drive the aforementioned vehicle up a sloping hill, accelerating said vehicle to navigate the hill. At a speed we estimate to be approximately 20mph, my partner reached the crest of the hill with the following view.

Unfortunately, bystanders seeing the scene from another angle, saw something quite different, which the driver did not see just beyond the crest of the hill...

Years ago, ladies and gentlemen, a man named Robert Craig Kneivel, better known as Evil Kneivel attempted to jump the Snake River Canyon in a vehicle that was half-motorcycle half-rocket. The attempt was pathetic. The contraption didn't travel any distance at all before he parachuted to the bottom of the canyon consumed by pitiful failure.

In contrast, the jump you are reading about went farther, lasted longer and ugh... landed harder. Much harder. Sand isn't as soft as it looks. My unfortunate partner reported a series of emotions and sensations including in sequence, complete surprise, bulging eyes, free flight, that proverbial moment of life flashing before one's eyes, rattled teeth, accordioned spine and crushed butt.

I must tell you in all honesty I did not see the crash from the angle you see above nor, fortunately, was I riding in the vehicle. However, a group of grown, strong, manly-men... men with CLUBS, saw the entire thing. It must have been the most terrible thing these he-men have ever seen because they were then witnessed to be crying. CRYING! They were so shocked after this horrible catastrophe, none of the four big strong men could even stand. They were all witnessed to be rolling on the ground with tears streaming down their faces. Oh, the humanity!

I tell you, it was terrible.

I hope this little account has served to convince you that while I am unable to publish the blog, I am not only not having a good time, but I am also being subjected to dangerous wildlife, battling the forces of nature and, well, that horrible accident speaks for itself. But I will endure. Don't cry for me Argentina. And that goes for our readers in Canada, Australia, the US and elsewhere in the world.

Now, I'm sure I hear some of you asking, "Hey, this is supposed to be a blog about Days Of Our Lives, not some stupid boring game. Why are we even talking about this?"

I don't totally agree with the part about it being a boring game, but I understand it might be boring to you. And given that, I would say if it is indeed boring, what better way to prepare yourself for watching DOOL? If you're going to watch that show, you've got to be able to endure boredom.

As far as the "stupid" part – I didn't see a single person from Salem on that course.

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE


8 Comments:

Anonymous Leslie said...

Golf?!!!!! Wake me up for DOOL - ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

4:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prevuze Equipment Crisis - sounds like this little adventure could be a case of Equipment Operator Error. BTW, I have a partner who has been there, done that, and also reduced several bystanders to tears while they were rolling around on the grass.

I love Jeopardy!

6:11 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Now Prevuze has a grown-up, womanly woman practically rolling on the office floor with tears running down her cheeks. Ah the humanity indeed! LOLOL

My heart goes out to you and your anonymous partner. You are truly enduring a horror worse than Dante's 9 circles of hell....GOLF. Yuck.

PS: word verification - funco. Sounds like Prevuze is having too much funco for my taste.

PPS: EJ's jeapordy answer - hilarious.

6:14 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

I guess things get rough (pun intended) when you miss your chance to play in the Masters.

I think you should just pack up and head back to the Prevuze compound. It seems like a safer place!

Thank you for the morning chuckles, tho. And I'm looking forward to tomorrow's travelogue to see what else you've faced on your travels. :D

8:37 AM  
Blogger Klaus said...

Oh. How nice, looks like they're warning you that the snakes and alligators fight. And I thought that was an eyeball, wow. lol

Golf is not boring, it's just boring to watch, participate in, and play. I would like to drive a golf cart though.

On a DOOL related point, Nathan and Stephanie talk about Melanie in every scene they're in, in an attempt to exclude Melanie from their... dalliance. It is awful.

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's "Adventures with Prevuze"! (My co-workers do wonder why I am alone in my office laughing aloud.)

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Barb said...

Those 2 golfcart scenes are hilarious. I can only imagine what went through the drivers mind when the sand trap came into view.

4:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lol, I was on vacation in FL last week and the 2nd pic brings back memories. When the alligator was that close it opened his mouth a little and then started hissing. I was ready to book it but my mom was "fascinated", so she kept watching. Finally, when his head was above the grass (instead of the water, he getting out to approach us or eat us)and his mouth was open all the way, she finally booked it inside and I followed.

7:22 AM  

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