The Gospel According To Prevuze
The preacher in question, in his kind and sensitive Father Matt tones, said he was disappointed that so many people watch soap operas. Again, before you jump ship on me, let's try to look at this from his point of view.
What he meant was the story lines on soap operas teach bad lessons. I mean, if Days Of Our Lives, for example, has left one of the Commandments unbroken, it must be that undiscovered 11th Commandment. On the other hand, maybe the 11th Commandment is, "Thou shalt not write dull drama by writing stories where none of the other Commandments is broken." I will not even attempt to analyze why the DOOL writers can break all the Commandments and still write dull drama, however.
I will admit (dull plots notwithstanding) DOOL shows bad situations. But I think our preacher friend believes it's a monkey-see-monkey-do kind of thing. So, taking this week's far-fetched Phillip-Chloe romp-fest as an example he might say it teaches viewers if their spouses (let's use the term 'spouses' to avoid any additional baggage) cheat on them, they should get back at the aforementioned spouses by seeking retribution in the form of cheating and retaliation; or, as I prefer to call it, retributory-cheataliation.
Is that what YOU got out of this story line? I doubt it. I've read your posts, comments and bulletin boards and I haven't read a single comment that said Phillip and Chloe did the right thing. So, you may ask, what did we learn? And that, my flock, brings me to the heart of today's sermon.
Follow with me as I read today's scripture from the King James version:
"Romans 12:9 — Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord."
Now, for clarification, let me read the same passage from The Gospel According To Prevuze:
"Romans 12:9 — Hey guys, two wrongs do not make a right. Cool your jets and let me, the Lord, handle things. That's my job, not yours."
And, if you're not scriptured-out, let me add this from the New Revised International Prevuze Edition With Commentary:
"Romans 12:9 — So if you even suspect your spouse, significant other, main squeeze or that special one-night-stand has cheated on you don't retaliate by running out and hammering the first guy or gal you run into. And, by the way, if you do, don't go whining around that you were drunk and thinking that's an excuse. Do that, and you'll wind up getting a few more choice scriptures about the evils of demon rum."
Isn't THAT what you got from this little scenario? And don't you think THAT, in time, is the lesson Chloe and Phillip will learn? Y'ur darn right. All of which goes to prove, contrary to the belief that soap operas are disgusting soft porn, they are little morality plays. In fact...
THEY SHOULD BE SHOWING 'DAYS OF OUR LIVES' IN CHURCH!
Thus sayeth Prevuze.
So, my flock, please go out and make it a good weekend. Oh, I just remembered, THAT'S the 11th Commandment.
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Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE