Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Little Bitch, Selfish Bitch, Heartless Bitch

Bo and Carly stand in front of the Christmas tree as Bo wonders what's up with Hope's attitude. Carly encourages him... By caressing his cheek and giving him that come-hither look.

Justin comes to the door, "I'm the one who has to tell him." He looks inside and sees the cheek caressing and walks away. Hope comes up and asks what's wrong.

Sami rushes up and sees Fay standing with the crowd at the hospital. Fay continues to insist she doesn't know what Nicole is up to, as EJ rolls through the inventory of damning evidence in her car. He walks up to her and gets nasty, "Do you know what it means to cross a DiMera. You will tell me everything now."

Rafe grills Nicole, "Where is Sydney? You listen, you selfish bitch! You will tell me if it's the last thing you do." Brady and Arianna rush up. Nicole goes into whine-mode, and then collapses.

Fay defends herself and says Sydney disappearing was not part of the plan, "I only wanted to help Nicole get out of the country." Sami learns Nicole has flown the coop and immediately her emotions fly the coop. She turns her wrath-filled firehose on EJ, "What if we never find Sydney now?"

EJ thinks it over, "It means she has a chance at a normal life."

Brady checks out Nicole.

Justin tells Hope he just came by for a case file. He stalls as Hope tells him Ciara begged her to come over to decorate the tree. She goes to the door and knocks. Apparently, caress-a-paloosa has ended inside. Bo answers, "I wasn't expecting you."

"You texted us," Hope reminds him, "Is this a good time?"

"It's a great time," says Bo, "Let me just take a couple minutes to get Carly's fingerprints off of me." Hope drags Ciara inside. Ciara sees Carly standing there and shrieks, "What's she still doing here?"

Mia arrives at Sami's place and finds Will. She tells him she's sorry Sydney is missing and offers help.

Stefano and Kate are together in the rumpus room on the couch. No couch-a-sthenics, though. Kate encourages him to be positive. Stefano says her support means everything to him.

Nicole stirs. Brady helps her up. Rafe gives her a verbal beating as she tries to focus. Brady steps in and takes a more tender approach. Arianna stews.

Hope tells Ciara that was impolite. And if anyone knows impolite, it's Hope. Bo takes Ciara to put the icicles on the tree. Hope gives Carly the evil eye and provides her own icicles. Justin suggests they give the family some time. He goes into the kitchen for his file making us all wonder what the hell HIS file is doing in Bo's KITCHEN.

Anyway, Bo is just beside himself with delight that the family is together and he prepares for a long evening of Christmas love and cheer... just the three of them.

"Well," snorts Hope, "I'm not staying." Heartless Bitch... oops, no editorializing.

Back to Sami's place. Apparently Will is babysitting Lucas. He comes out into the living room, "Hey Will, could you check on the twins?"

"What," says Will, "Has your baby-checker blown a fuse?"

Will leaves which gives Lucas the opportunity to make Mia uncomfortable. He tells Mia it's good to see her and then proceeds to jump into the "making amends" part of his twelve-step program. He apologizes for misjudging her and rolls right into a diatribe about her relationship with Will. Mia, like everyone else in Salem, gets tired of listening to the blowhard, but Will comes out and saves the day.

Sami dishes dirt about Nicole's childhood and what a screwed up job Fay did raising her. Fay explodes, "You little bitch you don't know what really happened." EJ jumps all over Fay, "There is one thing Nicole is good at doing and that is bringing pain to others — unlike Samantha who is a loving and caring mother."

That's all it takes for the entire Ejami section to swoon as the rest of the audience wonders if EJ got his definition of 'loving and caring mother' out of "Mommie Dearest."

Nicole wails, "I don't know where she is. OMG if I only did!"

News reports have surfaced about a massive iceberg floating toward the south shore of Australia. Scientists are not sure what the long-term effect of this will be but Sydney, at the moment, doesn't care, "This sure makes a great place for my base camp. They'll never find me here."

Brady eases in on Nicole and says he wants to know everything she knows. She thinks Brady is the only one who cares and says she's sorry she got him involved in this, "If I hurt you I will regret it for all the Days Of Our Lives because I love you and you are the best friend I have ever had."

Arianna bolts for the restroom, hoping she can make it there before she hurls.

Brady asks for a minute alone with Nicole. Rafe agrees, "I think I'd better hit the restroom, too. I'm feeling a bit queasy myself."

Brady tells Nicole they have to end the nightmare now.

"The nightmare won't end," cries Nicole, "It was As The World Turns that got canceled, not DOOL."

Bo and Ciara beg Hope to stay. OH, heaven be praised! The Princess Who's Poop Don't Stink agrees. Glory hallelujah and two snaps up!

Will tells Lucas to leave Mia alone. Lucas pontificates as Will claims he has no business judging anyone. Mia tells Will that Lucas was apologizing. So Mia takes over for Lucas and beats herself up. She apologizes for being... her.

Stefano and Kate play chess. Stefano rages because he lost control of the situation. Kate worries that he's getting stressed out. Stefano stresses out and explodes about EJ trying to keep his granddaughter out of his life, "He'd better get into his right mind because I'm not going to put up with his selfish crap any more. I will fight them all to keep her in my life."

Kate tries to calm the seas. Stefano takes a deep breath and backs off a bit, "Oh dear God, please keep that beautiful child safe."

God asks, "Have we met?"

Stef vows to fight Elvis and Samantha to keep Sydney in his life, "And I will win."

"Of that I have no doubt," says Kate.

Roman returns and announces the Cleveland PD tracked Fay and found she wasn't near Nicole when Sydney disappeared. He also tells them Rafe found Nicole. When Sami finds they didn't find Sydney, she presses the panic button and grills Roman for more information. Roman says he doesn't know any more. Sami asks EJ not to protect her from the truth, "I need to know everything."

"Of course," says EJ, "We're in this together." Out in the audience, the Ejamis, in a selfless act of compassion, donate their barf bags to the Lumis and Safes.

Whimpering Nicole tells Brady if she knew where Sydney was and didn't tell the police she would be a monster. She tells him she still has a heart or she couldn't love Sydney or HIM the way she does. She says Brady made her think twice about doing what she did. When you're around Brady you have to think twice to make up for the fact that one of you can't think once. Nicole insists the bus station is the last place she saw Sydney, "I came here and thought if I racked my brain..." There is a pregnant pause. Foam rubber optional.

Brady asks, "Do you remember something?"

Nicole says for a second she had a blurry image but couldn't make it out, "OMG what have I done?" Brady hugs as Nicole becomes a human fountain.

Arianna and Rafe come back. Rafe tells them they have to leave if Nicole isn't going to tell them anything. He hauls her off and Brady and Arianna give each other a look.

Hope sends Ciara to her room to play Christmas carols. Once the kid is out of earshot, she starts in on Bo, "Don't put her on the spot again. It's unfair to her."

"I want her to think her parents get along," says Bo.

"She's a smart girl," says Hope, "She knows that's not true." Justin and Carly come back out, after Justin found his important file in the knife drawer. On the way out Hope tells him she has to talk to him about something later. Justin says he thinks that's just dandy and leaves with Carly.

"Alone at last," says Bo.

Mia and Will make small talk. Will says he is on the planning committee for the winter dance, but doesn't think he'll go. "Why not," asks Mia.

"I'll probably be off the show by then," says Will.

Will Will be recast? Will will.

Mia encourages him to go. He says he doesn't want to go with anyone but her. Mia takes that as an invitation and agrees to go to the dance with him.

The chess match of the century continues. Stefano loses concentration. He holds a pawn and claims that is what Sydney has become, "I will never allow her to be used like this again." He slams the piece back onto the board and makes his move, "Checkmate. I won."

"You always win."

EJ tells Sami if Stefano had anything to do with this, he will make sure he pays. That's just peachy with Sami, "But don't put yourself in any danger."

"I'm surprised you care," says EJ.

"I don't," says Sami, "but you're Sydney and Johnny's dad."

The Safes and Lumis stand up and taunt, "See, she doesn't care. Nyah-nyah-NYAH-nyah-nayh."

The crew from the bus station gets back. Sami gives Nicole a look that would kill.

Carly and Justin stop off at the Java Café for a little java and jabber. They talk about their non-Christmas plans with non-family. Justin thinks she came back to Salem to see Bo. Carly insists Bo is a friend. Justin goes for the jugular, "You still love him. Admit it, you never stopped loving him."

Bo once again dumps Ciara. He tells her he and mommy need to talk about a big gift for her. Ciara runs off. Hope thanks him for getting rid of her. Feel the parental love. Silent night plays. Bo remembers, "They played this song at one of our weddings. I can't remember which one, though. After the first few, they all seem to run together." Bo runs through all the holidays around this time including the anniversary of Zack's death, "I don't want to go through that alone."

"You won't," says promises Hope, "You're not alone. You have Carly."

Fay beats Nicole up for lying to her about Sydney being her grandchild. The cops take Nicole off and leave the happy crowd standing there with its collective thumb in its collective ear. Sami blubbers on Rafe's shoulder saying she hopes Sydney knows they love her. "She knows," says Rafe. EJ watches.

Ciara comes back with cookies. She finds the mistletoe and wants to hang it up. Hope don' wan' no stinkin' mistletoe, "It's lost it's magic."

"We can get it back," says Bo, "I have Viagra."

Carly insists she's in Salem for more reasons than just to be with see Bo. She also thinks Justin is taking this a little too far, "If you think I should leave don't be cute just say it."

"OK," says Justin, "I think if you don't want to come between Bo and Hope, you should leave. Was that direct enough for you?"

Ciara wants to know where Santa will leave her stuff this year. Hope tells her both places, "He'll leave a lot of it at the Kiriakis mansion and you'll come downstairs Christmas morning and find all kind of neat things. Then you'll come over here and find more, sitting right beside the big pile of sticks and coal he leaves for your good-for nothing father."

EJ is on the phone giving orders, "Don't do anything... don't breathe until I say so. Make sure you are available at all times."

Roman announces Nicole is off to jail with no bail. But wait! Nicole has a big speech to give.

Hope and Ciara leave.

Bo follows them out. As they walk off, the pathetic schlump whispers, "Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite."

Carly tells Justin he's out of line. He says he saw them canoodling earlier, "Maybe you were just offering comfort... no I don't believe that. What I saw was a connection which convinces me you never stopped loving him."

Carly fires back. She says she thinks there is some connection between Justin and Hope, "You want to know if and when Hope is available because you want her for yourself."

Recalculations now show the Mayan calendar will end in September, 2010. Apparently the Mayans were "As The World Turns" Fans.

Nicole gives her farewell address. She says she understands why they all think she's guilty. For starters, because she is. She says she realizes Sydney belongs with Sami and her daddy, "I'm so sorry, Sami."

EJ has had it. He makes the Siberian Tunguska explosion look like a hiccup...

"GET HER OUT OF HERE!"

Roman hauls her off. Arianna tells Brady he did everything he could. "It wasn't enough," whines Brady.

Rafe turns to Sami, "Let's go home. You can tell Will in person Sydney is coming home."

"Will loves it when I tell him fairy tales like that," says Sami. They leave arm in arm. EJ stares. The Ejamis ask for their barf bags back. The Safes oblige, but the Lumis still need theirs.

Meanwhile, at a place that looks a lot like the Salem pier, a person who probably is a woman pushes Sydney off in her stroller.

"This may not be too bad," thinks Sydney, "That iceberg was pretty cold."

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE


28 Comments:

Anonymous Berg said...

I want my barf bag back!!! And my blindfolds and my ear plugs. You know, was it just me today or was Prevuze more entertaining than usual (How is that even possible) or was the crap on this show just so hard to watch that anything would be more entertaining?

I didn't think I could really hate Hope anymore but now that she and Bo have an actual storyline, I truly almost feel sympathetic for Bo. Why does Carly always have the come hither look? What is the history on Justin and Hope - do I care? Let me check...no I don't.

Is Nicole finally off our screens for a while? There is only so much blubbering I can take.

EJ? Done lost his mind yet again. Sami, a loving and caring mother? Wow, even I can't buy that one.

Here's hoping the new Will is hotter.

And no shirtless scenes. You know I get a feeling the next shirtless scene is going to be Rafe and I will need several barf bags on call.

For once I am 100% with Stefano. Make them all pay.

3:59 AM  
Anonymous Jana (shelle_cr) said...

It sounds more hilarious than usual to me, too.

The first pic just cracks me up. LOVE it.

Thanks as always.

4:11 AM  
Anonymous Lori said...

I loved the devil and angel; I'm so annoyed at Hope. And I loved Justin's important file being in the kitchen; now he has an excuse to go after Hope. But it will keep Hope away from Bo, until the next time they promise to love each other for all the days of their lives.
Give me a break! I need my own barf bag. Who has a spare?

4:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So the big twist is that Ej is behing this 2nd kidnapping... Sami will never forgive him..so Ej has to be the evil guy and Rafe the hero/good guy...only one problem writers : SAMI IS NOT MARLENA !!!!!

4:28 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

You know, was it just me today or was Prevuze more entertaining than usual

Prevuze is ALWAYS more entertaining than usual.

(Try to figure that one out).

4:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great title today!

5:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

EJ did it. I knew it. EJ played all of them for fools. Nice.

5:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Carly encourages him... By caressing his cheek and giving him that come-hither look.

I believe that’s a perfect example of what’s up with Hope’s attitude. Now if Carly would just park herself under the tree, I believe Hope’s attitude would escalate through the roof. At least Hope showed up before Carly’s panties became a decoration on the tree.

Nicole goes into whine-mode, and then collapses.

All that’s needed is a little brie to go with that whine. Can Nicole get anymore pathetic? To be fair, Sami has also become a blithering mass of protoplasm. They’re both so love sick they feel the need to defer on everything to the current men in their lives. Brady is now Nicole’s savior, and the history-free Rafe is the “brains” in the Safe relationship. Very scary!

Stefano and Kate are together in the rumpus room on the couch. No couch-a-sthenics, though.

…or geriatric rumpus-aerobics!

"Well," snorts Hope, "I'm not staying." Heartless Bitch... oops, no editorializing.

Prevuze why stop now? LOL!!!!

News reports have surfaced about a massive iceberg floating toward the south shore of Australia. Scientists are not sure what the long-term effect of this will be but Sydney, at the moment, doesn't care, "This sure makes a great place for my base camp. They'll never find me here."

I didn’t think that a Sopwith Camel had that kind of range.

"The nightmare won't end," cries Nicole, "It was As The World Turns that got canceled, not DOOL."

Prevuze is sent to a neutral corner for hitting below the belt!

There is a pregnant pause. Foam rubber optional.

Prevuze does his/her/their/its part to make sure the viewers NEVER forget the fake rubber baby bumper fiasco.

"We can get it back," says Bo, "I have Viagra."

Spare us that picture or give us a year’s supply of barf bags. On second thought, will that be enough?

EJ has had it. He makes the Siberian Tunguska explosion look like a hiccup...

"GET HER OUT OF HERE!"

I second that emotion. I have had Nicole up to my eyeballs, and I’m more than ready for her to take a nice long prison sabbatical.

There was a lot of well deserved barf bag passing going on in today’s episode. Good grief – why was Lucas released from rehap? Obviously, the writers still haven’t come up with a storyline for him. Right now he’s like the Grinch that’s ruining Christmas as he makes his rounds annoying the hell out of everyone with his self-righteous attitude. Speaking of self-righteous - instead of shaking the snot out of her, why didn’t the Rafester call the police when he found Nicole? If he was actually still in law enforcement, Nicole could have had him nailed for police brutality.

Super censored link Prevuze, and another great Hump Day update!

5:58 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Since the previous comment was rather windy, I'm sure you figured out it was me.

6:00 AM  
Anonymous Maggie Mae said...

anonymous above, this is the saddest thing I'll ever type: Sami is now Marlena.

6:14 AM  
Anonymous Maggie Mae said...

Does anyone else think EJ's doing this to save Sydney from Stefano, the exact same reason Sami used to keep her from him?

6:16 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Yes, I was reading through that "anonymous" post and thinking, "Boy, I bet this is Leslie trying to be anonymous." LOLOL

Great pictures (Bo's tortured stare, the vigilant Pope, the angel/devil) and I really loved God's question to Stefano, "Have we met?" HA

Along with Nicole's blubbering I'm also getting tired of EJ's histrionics. First he's screaming at Nicole because HE KNOWS SHE'S LYING. Then he's yelling at Stefano because HE KNOWS HE'S LYING. Today he turns on Fay because HE KNOWS SHE'S LYING. Hey, this is DOOL, everybody lies. Get over it. Or, at least, point it out employing fewer decibles.

Here’s my HUH?! moment today:
Ciara sees Carly standing there and shrieks, "What's she still doing here?"

Has Ciara ever even met Carly? How does she know Carly has anything to do with the mess her parents are in? I know little pitchers have big ears, so did she overhear Hope grousing or has Hope been telling her daughter Carly is the reason they aren’t home?

Bo and Ciara beg Hope to stay. OH, heaven be praised! The Princess Whose Poop Don't Stink agrees. Glory hallelujah and two snaps up!

The devil on the ref’s right shoulder wants him to sideline Prevuze for unnecessary sarcasm, but the angel on the left intervenes, “Sarcasm in the service of truth is no sin. Prevuze, go forth and snark all you want.”

He slams the piece back onto the board and makes his move, "Checkmate. I won." "You always win."

Oh, the ham-fisted symbolism!

Oh, thank the Lord for Prevuze.

6:46 AM  
Anonymous I Challenge You To A DOOL said...

Waitwaitwait... how did you all know EJ is behind this? I know I'm not that bright but... and the stranger pushing Sydney in the stroller didn't push her off the pier into the water, right? I'm having a hard time with reading comprehension today.

My word vertification is "sesmilly", as in, I feel sesmilly having to ask these questions!

7:31 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Since the previous comment was rather windy, I'm sure you figured out it was me.

I figured it out pretty quickly. You have a distinct style and it's easy to recognize the great writers by their style... Hemingway... London... Faulkner... Shakespeare... Leslie...

7:32 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Waitwaitwait... how did you all know EJ is behind this?

They have to finish "The Glove" storyline sometime.

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So pardon my ignorance. How do we know that it was E.J. was it Mary pushing the carriage? You have my attention. Oh yeah and today was a hoot,thanks prevuze!!

7:45 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

I Challenge You To A DOOL, I had the same two thoughts. I pictured someone pushing the carriage off of the pier LOL. And had to go back and reread what I missed that made people assume EJ was behind the Sydneynapping. I thought his phone call was probably just to his goons trying to find her. I'm probably wrong.

Applecheeks - Sarcasm in the service of truth is no sin. Is that an Applecheeksism or some other famous quote along the lines of Logic is the last refuge of a puny mind?

I can't believe nobody's mentioned my favorite Prevuism today: Will Will be recast? Will will. HAHAHAHAHA

Loved the great censored link, the queen who's poop don't stink (boy doesn't she believe that!?!) and Hope thanks him for getting rid of her. Feel the parental love.

Well we have reader-love for Prevuze. It was worth trekking in thru the frozen snow and -50 degree temps just to read it this morning. Thanks! :D

8:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ej as the mastermind behind the kidnapping : clues
- his phone call and in the same episode the woman who has Sydney in Salem (so she is well taken care)
- few epi before he chose commercial flight (which is less fast than with his own jet)
- Stefano who seems clueless for once !!!
- rumor who said that the mysterious woman is Susan (yeah Susan as Susan's Elvis mom !)
- spoilers who said he wants to kick out Stefano from the mansion (maybe to hide Sydney)
- he has motives : revenge against Stefi and Nikki and even Sami (but for her it's strange since he has said he has forgiven her and he is still lovesick toward her..though he could play the hero who bring back Syd to Sami for Christmas, and get back at Rafe, he seems quite annoyed by Mister nice guy..)

Of course it could be a big red herring.. but the story seems to go with this road..
we'll see we will see

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

I figured it out pretty quickly. You have a distinct style and it's easy to recognize the great writers by their style... Hemingway... London... Faulkner... Shakespeare... Leslie...

My tortured ramblings are probably a bit Kafkaesque. When writing “The Penal Colony” and “The Metamorphosis”, I can only imagine that Kafka must have been envisioning Daze. As for my writing style, I think it’s more akin to William S. Gray who gave us the immortal line – “see Spot run”.

9:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, Carly the lying manipulator is finally surfacing. "Oh Bo, I just want you back with your wife and family, I don't want to come between you and Hope" where is the barfbag when you need one. Then she proceeds to stay, doesn't have enough brains to leave, and oh so innocently touches his face while telling him through her ugly clenched teeth, I wish for you to be with your family for Christmas. What a lying hypocrite! Hope has her number, to bad Bo hasn't woke up yet.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Sarcasm in the service of truth is no sin. Is that an Applecheeksism or some other famous quote along the lines of Logic is the last refuge of a puny mind?

To me, it is more reminiscent of a quote from 1964 presidential candidate Barry M. Goldwater, which went something like: "Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice and moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue."

Conservative Republican Goldwater had been accused by his opponents of being an extremist, and he used this quote to sort of defend himself. Generally historians agree it backfired on him and some even go so far as to suggest it lost him the election. Most historians, however, feel he wouldn't have won the election anyway and further agree that in 1964, in a nation still grieving from the Kennedy assassination, the Lord God Almighty couldn't have defeated Lyndon Johnson.

Prevuze - Best history blog on the Internet®

10:02 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Prevuze, I was going to tell Bulldog that it was an Applecheek's riff on a vaguely remembered saying.

All I could remember was...some noun in the something of something or other is no sin or vice or whatever.

I'm sure that would have been just as informative as your little history lesson. Or, maybe not.

Work verification: adahall spinster aunt of annie hall.

11:29 AM  
Anonymous Berg said...

Okay admittedly, I thought while watching yestereday's episode - for a minute, EJ was the one who did it. I think it's genius. Okay let me take that back, genius for this show because it wasn't soo flippin obvious. Now watch this be wrong, and I will hate, hate, hate whatever tricks the DOOL writers have up their narrow minded, dumb as stumps sleeves.

There are only two problems with EJ being the kidnapper. He would have to clue some people in like Sami. Otherwise it's cruel and all the Safes, and Lumis will cry fowl and what a bad guy.

I personally would love for Susan to come back.

I figured it out pretty quickly. You have a distinct style and it's easy to recognize the great writers by their style... Hemingway... London... Faulkner... Shakespeare... Leslie... I instantly knew it was :) We agree so much.

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Berg said...

I am aware Fowl is not foul. And Yestereday is not yesterday. I took liberal licents.

(almost had ya) license.

12:28 PM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

late to Prevuze today, but I must say I cracked up as soon as I saw the little 'devil's advocate' pic of Bo & Carly. I was gonna comment yesterday that Bo is on his way to a little well deserved thyst with Carly. I saw that lil' devil sneaking it's horns during yesterday's eppi...when a man talks back at his wife, it's all downhill from there!

9:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I knew it. EJ's behind it all! Maybe its his twisted way of revenge, either way it'll be the final nail in the so-called Ejami coffin. Bruhahaha

9:21 PM  
Blogger HaleMom said...

I know who the kidnapper is... Not telling you though!

11:10 PM  
Anonymous LemonGrass1985 said...

If anyone thinks this is the end of ejami they haven't been watching these two and their tango for four years.

This is just the beginning.

I also know who the kidnapper is and I love it.

7:08 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home


Blogarama     Globe Of Blogs