Wednesday, December 02, 2009

The Dry Drunk

Nicole holds her bus tickets. We pan up as she looks at them and tells Sydney they could soon be on their way to Canada, "Home free." Nicole dreams of Canada. She tells Sydney she's not so sure she's doing the right thing, "If only I had a sign."

The Lord God Almighty booms, "Nicole, you are doing the wrong thing. Kidnapping is a serious crime. You shouldn't run from your mistakes. Take the baby back to Salem and give her to her rightful parents. If you do that I will watch over you and protect you during your coming ordeal and, what's more, I will forgive you. I will help you make it through this. I will, in fact, (say it with Him) be there for you."

Nicole shakes her head, "No... I mean I want a real sign. Don't I get tablets of stone with that or something?"


Loserclueless shows up at Sami's place. Will answers the door as Lucas announces he was an exemplary patient, "I didn't have a single drink while I was there. Unfortunately, my motor mouth drove three of the staff members to drink and they are now in rehab." He says he wanted to see Will to apologize before he sees anyone else.

Will is reticent, "Things aren't OK here. It's mom. She lost her baby — again. My little sister."

"What happened," asks Lucas, "Did she forget which babysitter had her again?"

Sami pesters Brady as he tries to convince people Nicole may come home. Sami sees a ray of sunshine. EJ listens and ponders his coffee cup.

The PA system announces the bus to Toronto is boarding. Nicole takes that as her sign. Some people get tablets of stone, others get a scratchy announcement in a seedy bus station.

Stephanie shows up at Maggie's door. Maggie finds her putting down an envelope she has started to leave there. Stephanie says the hospital administrator wanted her to deliver it. Maggie thinks Stephanie was trying to avoid her since she didn't ring the doorbell. Stephanie says she feels uncomfortable about their last conversation so she decided a hit and run was the best tactic. She also says Melanie and Nathan are together and there is nothing they can do to stop it.

Nathan breaks up Melanie and Phillip before they can kiss, "HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

EJ stands up and pontificates. He tells Brady he can't convince Nicole to do anything. They argue. "You bullied her," says Brady.

"Maybe I should have been a compassionate junkie instead" says EJ. Rafe breaks things up. Brady wants to trace the call. EJ thinks that's a "fancy." Oooo... such salty language.

Nicole flashes back to her conversation with Brady. The bus driver comes up and asks if she's getting on the bus, "Everyone else is on board and we're ready to leave."

Melanie uses the standard excuse, "Nathan... It's not what you think." She contends it just happened, but Phillip doesn't agree=, "Nathan deserves to know the truth. The whiskey here is watered down."

Will gives Lucas the update on Nicole and the switcheroo. Lucas obsesses about Chloe's role in the whole thing.

Well as I live and breathe. It's Daniel and Chloe standing in the hallway at the hospital. They finally got out of bed long enough so Daniel could go to work. Chloe followed so he would have something to grope between female patients.

Former presidential candidate Ross Perot has issued the following statement, "I was wrong. That giant sucking sound turned out to be Daniel and Chloe finally coming up for air."

Chloe rants about Nicole kidnapping Sydney. Daniel tires to calm her down. "I made a mistake," blubbers Chloe, "It's one of the worst things I've ever done."

"Worse than breaking a promise to God," asks Daniel.

"God forgives," says Chloe, "Lucas doesn't."


EJ and Brady bicker. Rafe once again steps in and provides the voice of reason. When Rafe is the voice of reason is when you know it's time to haul out the straightjackets. The Rafester leaves to contact the FBI and Roman. Brady tells Sami, "I swear to God, I think she's on her way back."

"I don't," says Sami, "I agree with EJ. I appreciate your optimism, but she's obsessed and will do whatever she can to keep Sydney."

Nicole weighs her options and gets on the bus.

Maggie invites Stephanie in and digs about Nathan and Melanie. Stephanie sees the conversation that's coming and says, "This is why I didn't ring the doorbell. It's funny how your dignity goes out the window when... I told Nathan how I feel and wish I hadn't. He said he's not interested." Maggie laps it up as Stephanie says Nathan is dealing with the same situation with Melanie because Melanie can't shake Phillip.

Phillip explains what was going on as Nathan gets macho. Melanie asks for a minute alone with Nathan. She takes him aside and tries to smooth things over. Nathan asks, "Would you have kissed Phillip if I hadn't walked in and stopped you."

Melanie admits it, "Yes. I would have."

Nathan tells Hester, "That's such a heinous sin. For the rest of your life you'll have to wear a big red letter "K" on your blouse."

Daniel tells Chloe Nicole has lied to her for over a year. Chloe still blames herself. Daniel insists Chloe isn't responsible. He moves in, hugs and supports.

EJ blows his stack abut Brady springing Nicole. Rafe bustles back in with news, "I've figured out where Nicole was when she called Brady!"

"Where," gasps Sami.

"At a phone."

Nicole stands at a pay phone as the loudspeaker announces a delay. She calls Fay and tells her she's on her way to parts unknown. Once again the PA system announces the bus is about to depart. "I have to go," says Nicole, "The bus is going to leave any minute. And if EJ were here, I know he'd prefer me to be under it." She hangs up, scoops Sydney up and walks into the waiting area where she sees a happy family gushing over their kid. She flashes back to happy moments with EJ.

Melanie insists she meant it when she said she wanted to be with Nathan, "I have feelings for both of you." Nathan blows up and says he doesn't believe her.

Daniel wants Chloe to stop blaming herself, "Not your fault... Say it."

Chloe stammers, "Not... my... I forgot the rest. What was it again? "

Daniel kisses her and promises to return. He leaves as Lucas walks in.

Lucas doesn't waste any time, "Well, there she is — the big mouth traitor. What the hell do you think you're doing. Not only did you cheat but you had to take what I told you and ruin Sami's life too!"

Rafe says Nicole is in Cleveland. Brady jumps up and says he's ready to go there. EJ blocks him, "You're not a part of this."

Nicole waits, frets and bores Sydney and the audience with her verbal diarrhea. The driver comes to get her again. Nicole tells him she's not going after all. She rolls Sydney out of the waiting area.

Melanie begs for another chance. Nathan doesn't believe in second chances. Or 27th chances, "We're done." he walks out. Melanie sobs, but good ole Phillip is (say it with me) there for her.

Maggie is on the phone with Mickey who is delayed somewhere. She hangs up and tells Mia the Mickster was grumpy. Mia, meanwhile, has been sitting at the kitchen table studying her French lessons, "Qu'est pour le dîner?"

"Nous prenons le Mickey de rôti pour le dîner s'il est encore grincheux quand il arrive à la maison."

"I didn't know you spoke French," says Mia.

"I do it to get a smile form waiters," says Maggie.

Mia spreads it on thick, "Everyone smiles at you. You're a beautiful person. You're Salem's version of Lady Liberty."

"You mean a beacon in the night," asks Maggie.

"No," says Mia, "I mean an old stoneface who always stands somewhere she can watch everyone coming and going."


Mia says if it weren't for Maggie and Mickey, whom she has never met, she doesn't know where she would be. Maggie hugs.

Lucas rants at Chloe for leaving him in the dark about things while he was in rehab. Chloe says Will wouldn't give her his number. Lucas gets nasty about her never coming to see him. Perhaps the conversation they are having is a good indication why she wouldn't want to see him.

Lucas continues to run off at the mouth as Daniel returns and backs him off. He insists Chloe meant no harm and attacking her isn't going to help Sami or Will. He suggests Lucas do something useful instead of spewing empty jabber all over the place, "You know what you are? You're a dry drunk." Dry... yes. Quiet... no.

Lucas has a great comeback for that, "SHUT UP!"

"Not until you get it that pointing fingers isn't the way to go here," says Daniel, "This is about finding Sydney. And that is all that matters."

Rafe sides with Brady because he thinks he may be the one person Nicole will respond to. Brady and EJ continue their bickering. EJ peppers his insults with helpful words like "junkie" and "druggie." Finally, Brady just clams up. Well, some good came out of it.

Nicole tells Sydney this is something she has to do, "I'm not gonna give you to the police, though." She makes another pay-phone call... To Brady.

Nathan comes up to the nurses' station. He broods and Stephanie asks if something happened. Nathan don' wanna talk about it. So he talks about it. He says he felt rejected and humiliated just now with Melanie because she's not over Phillip.

"She told you that," asks Stephanie. Enquiring minds want to know. So do enquiring vacuums.

"She showed me," says Nathan.

Melanie beats herself up for not being able to make up her mind. "You get a kick out of screwing me up."

"That would be true," says Phillip, "if you had left the last word off of that sentence." He starts to leave.

"Come back," she orders, "I need to tell you off some more."

Phillip sits down on a barstool and girds his loins, "Go for it."

"First," says Melanie, "I need to thank you for taking responsibility for the almost-kiss." Phillip says he hasn't treated her right in the past, but will make that up to her.

"I can't do this," says Melanie. She starts to leave.

Phillip stops her, "Stay and be with me. Choose me." He takes something and throws it away.

"What was that," asks Melanie.

"My last shred of dignity."


The Brady-EJ smackdown continues. Rafe referees, "COME ON, GUYS, CUT IT OUT! YOU'RE GIVING ME A FRICKING HEADACHE!"

EJ asks, "Doesn't that take a fricking head?"

Rafe thinks they all need to pull together. Sami thinks Nicole might be trying to contact them right now.

Nicole hangs up, "I can't. There is only one person I can call." she picks up the phone and dials again.

Melanie reminds Phillip they have never made it more than a day and a half together. Phillip agrees but thinks they will be unstoppable from here on out. Melanie decides she isn't ready to settle down. She says she still has feelings for Nathan.

Nathan says he will spare Stephanie the gory details of how Melanie showed him her affection for Phillip. Oh, yeah, Stephanie gets off the hook, but we had to watch. Stephanie tells him what a great guy he is and says it's unfair when he doesn't get what he wants.

"Thanks," says Nathan, "but you are wrong."

Daniel finds Chloe again. Chloe tells him how grateful she is for him defending her to Lucas. "I would slay dragons for you," says Daniel, "I am your man for all the Days Of Our Lives."

"How did I get so lucky," asks Chloe. Daniel moves in. I guess he's looking to get lucky, too.

Maggie finds Lucas sitting at the pier. Lucas asks, "Did you ever hear the expression 'dry drunk?' Someone pointed out that's what I am."

Perceptive Maggie asks, "Did something happen?"

"Not on this show," says Lucas. He tells her he ran into Chloe, knows everything and can't believe he let Chloe stab him in the back. He blames himself for betraying Sami's trust, "If something happens to Sydney I'll never be able to show my face to Sami or Will again."

Maggie thinks if he's saying things like that, he's learned something in rehab and she is so proud of him.

EJ says it's absolutely ridiculous to think Nicole would call. Nicole calls.

Nathan says, "I don't think people get what they deserve."

"Not the ones who wind up with me," says Stephanie. He decides he will be able to move on. He leaves. Stephanie's eyes sparkle.

Melanie wants to leave — alone. Phillip stops her and says he won't give up.

Sami answers her phone, "Nicole?"

The scene shifts to the pay phone. The receiver is off the hook. We pan down to find it hanging there. We continue to pan down. Nicole lies unconscious on the floor.

We pan farther back and see Sydney holding a smoking gun.

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE


24 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Otherwise known as a DOOL writer!! You crack me up.Have a good day

3:51 AM  
Anonymous Berg said...

Maybe it's just the way Prevuze has with wit. Today's recap was hysterical (unfortnately so was the actual show and it's not a comedy).

First, I never thought I would be happy to see Loserclueless is back!! Screaming troll drinks all around!! The EJAMIS hoist, the SAFEs hoist, and the Lumis run off to go grab some milk.

Finally EJ gets a brain The Brady-EJ smackdown continues. Rafe referees, "COME ON, GUYS, CUT IT OUT! YOU'RE GIVING ME A FRICKING HEADACHE!"

EJ asks, "Doesn't that take a fricking head?"
I about spit coffee everywhere over this one. Good Fancy one Prevuze!

Rafe being the sane one in the Brady-EJ Smackdown just smacks of SAFE pimping. He's just not that smart. Period.

Yellow Bellied Scum Sucking Pecker Head otherwise known as a DOOL Writer Normally I would say this is below the belt, throw a flag and penalize Prevuze 5 yards. But I can't penalize what is obviously true.

I guess yesterday when I was pointing out the pros of the episode I spoke to soon about Chloe and Dan. Is it me or does Chloe always look like she has either just been struck in the face with a frying pan or someone phasered her on stun?

Mel-Step on me-Philip-Nat...I didn't even pay attention - even Prevuze can't help ne there. I think we need to get Phillip out of that storyline all together.

As for Nicole, how many Nicholes does it take to get on a damn bus and get the heck out of town? Obviously too many.

Good Day!!!

3:53 AM  
Anonymous Maggie Mae said...

Berg, when was the last time there wasn't Safe pimping?

**crickets crickets**

5:34 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

"I didn't have a single drink while I was there. Unfortunately, my motor mouth drove three of the staff members to drink and they are now in rehab."

Now that Lucas is back, I wonder if the viewers will be eligible for group rates for a stint in rehab. I also have to wonder how long Lucas will remain "on canvas". The writers have once again given Lucas scintillating dead end dialogue, and the only girl he ends up with is Maggie.

They finally got out of bed long enough so Daniel could go to work. Chloe followed so he would have something to grope between female patients.

LOL!!!!!!!!!

Rafe once again steps in and provides the voice of reason. When Rafe is the voice of reason is when you know it's time to haul out the straightjackets.

Are there enough straight jackets for everyone or is this like the Titanic with only a few jackets to go around? I’m already getting that sinking feeling.

Nathan tells Hester, "That's such a heinous sin. For the rest of your life you'll have to wear a big red letter "K" on your blouse."

That’s better than the big ole letter “S” we all wear for watching DOOL. This stuff sure isn’t written my Nathaniel Hawthorne.

Nicole stands at a pay phone as the loudspeaker announces a delay.

What could possibly delay a bus? Do they have to de ice it again?

"The bus is going to leave any minute. And if EJ were here, I know he'd prefer me to be under it."

You’re right Prevuze. That is rather apropos.

"Come back," she orders, "I need to tell you off some more."

Phillip sits down on a barstool and girds his loins, "Go for it."

On DOOL, this is known as foreplay. If we didn’t know that Melanie is Carly’s daughter, this might be cute. Of course, Melanie is hung up on Vivian’s sorta son. With the mommy dearests being at war with each other, are we in for DOOL’s version of Romeo and Juliet? Shakespeare must be off in a corner retching.

Nicole lies unconscious on the floor.

We pan farther back and see Sydney holding a smoking gun.

We couldn’t get that lucky. Sigh.

With the Brady-EJ smackdown, Yellow Bellied Scum Sucking Pecker Head, and the Salem Pharmacy’s obvious shortage of Restasis, this was truly a most stellar Prevuze!!! Oh yes, and generally one does need a frinkin' head to have a frinkin' headache. You are too funny Prevuze!!!!!!!

5:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OKAY - I am lost here.....
How/when did we find out that Melanie is Carly's daughter??
There was speculation about Mia being Nicole's daughter too.....
BUT I didn't connect Melanie with Carly.....I must of been speedreading right past that little detail.

6:53 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

…does Chloe always look like she has either just been struck in the face with a frying pan or someone phasered her on stun?

OMG, Berg. Thank heavens I’d just swallowed a mouthful of latte. Otherwise I would be cleaning up my keyboard right now. LOLOLOL

And Leslie pretty much stole my comment about Losercluless coming back. Lord, I may be driven to drink now that we are in the post-sweeps DAZE. Interesting, though, that they waited until AFTER sweeps to bring Lucas back. Is that some kind of clue they thought his return would drive ratings down?

Huh?! #1:
Lucas doesn't waste any time, "Well, there she is — the big mouth traitor.

Jeez, Louise, talk about the pot calling the kettle black! What part of Sami’s request that you “don’t tell anyone” didn’t YOU understand Lucas? Chloe wouldn’t have been able to tell Nicole anything if you hadn’t run your motormouth in the first place.

Huh?! #2:
Lucas gets nasty about her never coming to see him.

He all but called for a public stoning before he left for rehab, why in the world would he expect Chloe to come see him??

Funny, funny pictures (Restasis) and prevuisms (Maggie=Lady Liberty) today.

I am left wondering how long that tape of Basic Canadian could be? There's only one word you need to use properly, eh?

6:53 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Anonymous: We don't know anything for sure yet about which girl is Carly's. I'm betting on Melanie. They've tried too hard to make it look like it will be Mia, what with Carly hanging around "comforting" her all the time.

Besides the Mia overkill, Melanie's "father" just seemed to be the slimy sort of person Lawrence would have known.

6:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is up with the Nicole wig it is hideous. Talk about low budget

7:08 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

I'm betting on Melanie. They've tried too hard to make it look like it will be Mia, what with Carly hanging around "comforting" her all the time.

Applecheeks - I was betting on Mia. However, all the spoilers are saying that Melanie is Carly's daughter. You wisely did not drink the DOOL Kool-Aid so your hunch appears to be correct.

7:36 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

It's not fair Prevuze can just spout French at will. All I can remember from my one year of high school German is how to count to ten.

As unwelcome as it is to see Chloedan return they do give Prevuze some great snark material such as Daniel wants Chloe to stop blaming herself, "Not your fault...Say it." Chloe stammers, "Not...my...I forgot the rest. What was it again?" HAHAHHA

Ditto Loserclueless. Will is reticent, "Things aren't OK here. It's mom. She lost her baby - again. My little sister." "What happened," asks Lucas, "Did she forget which babysitter had her again?"

Loved the Brady Brady pic. Aaah, if only I could have some of Squints' bag-o-pills right now!

But my biggest laugh was Maggie being the old stoneface. I definitely had to stifle at that.

Thanks for the laughs on an extremely gloomy, cold day, Prevuze.

8:38 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Great workout today. Your tweets, emails and comments help me to work through the burn. I'd respond more but I'm finding it's hard to type when I'm on a treadmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

9:18 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Great workout today. Your tweets, emails and comments help me to work through the burn. I'd respond more but I'm finding it's hard to type when I'm on a treadmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Whistles are blowing, and Prevuze is assessed a personal foul for taunting. All the faithful Prevuzites sitting at work are awarded a free throw.

9:38 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

All the faithful Prevuzites sitting at work are awarded a free throw.

Sitting at work? Reading a blog? Someone must work for the SPD.

Besides, we artistes are always at work. I'm... uh... formulating ideas.

OK. You got me. I'm procrastinating because I don't want to do what I have to do next. Busted.

10:01 AM  
Anonymous M J said...

I agree about Nicole's wig and the budget ... but sending somebody from wardrobe over to the nearest Dollar store, to find it in their Halloween Dept (taped in October) is going a little too far!

12:15 PM  
Anonymous Scolly said...

Talk about super incompetence, with the length of that phone conversation between EJ and Nicole the Salem PD should have been able to trace it even if she'd been on Mars!

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lucas told Chloe, NOT. She snooped then blabbed.
EJ needs to stop acting so self rightious and stop insulting Brady. He's a better man than Ej will ever be. Sami needs to stick up for her brother. REmember EJ threw Sydney away and now he wants her back Whatever!
Don't get me started on Dr. Mc Pervert he needs to take his mouth and sew it shut and leave town with his whore.

7:35 PM  
Anonymous Teresa said...

So, if one of the dimwits is Carly's daughter, who is the Dad? Is Bo getting another daughter he didn't know about since he doesn't have whatsherface around? Between the rapid aging, returning from the dead, and creating instant teenage children - I cannot keep up with the population of Salem anymore!

9:48 PM  
Anonymous OMGILoveYou said...

A thought (?) just occurred to me. It would be delightful to pepper prevuze with the occasional interpretation of a DOOL-airing commercial. You know, how do you feel about Cheerios, or Scrubbing Bubbles or Latisse or Excedrin or something. Not something on a regular predictable basis but something for when we're writing to you while blogging and trying to watch DOOL. You know, while drinking VO.

P.S. - Stefano just said something with rrrrr in the word. Na nite.

10:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A thought (?) just occurred to me. It would be delightful to pepper prevuze with the occasional interpretation of a DOOL-airing commercial. You know, how do you feel about Cheerios, or Scrubbing Bubbles or Latisse or Excedrin or something. Not something on a regular predictable basis but something for when we're writing to you while blogging and trying to watch DOOL. You know, while drinking VO.

P.S. - Stefano just said something with rrrrr in the word. Na nite.

10:13 PM  
Anonymous OMGILoveYou said...

OMG blog non-etiquette. I shouldn't VO & blog. Apparently. I thought I learned THAT lesson in college. No wonder I was a biology major

10:15 PM  
Anonymous OMGILoveYou said...

P.S. Prevuze DOOL guy, do you have a brother? No, How about a brother, or a half-step-pet-dog-uncle-Sefano-stolen-fetus-2-year-old-adolescent-hottie?

10:22 PM  
Anonymous OMGILoveYou said...

Wait wait. You had me so preoccupied - does Nicole still have the baby? Can I drink for the next 2 months while that resolves?

10:25 PM  
Anonymous OMGILoveYou said...

Prevuze guy, I wish you could narrate my life.

10:33 PM  
Anonymous OMGILoveYou said...

OK,wait one last thought (?) for tonight. Why would an undercover drug dealer clandescidinely meet Commander BRADY at the BRADY pub? Sometimes this show makes my head hurt. But so does the spraypaint.

10:40 PM  

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