Monday, October 19, 2009

Chasin' Tail

Sami sits in her apartment with Johnny scolding him for running from his babysitter Missy. She bribes him with a new car if he will be good for the babysitter tonight. Johnny runs off to play. Sami critiques her skills as a mother, "Great parenting, Sami... bribery, blackmail and guilt all wrapped up in one. Oh, well, at least I get to dump the kid tonight, that's the important thing." She calls Nicole and leaves a message, "You won't believe what I'm about to do. Do you know where I can find this guy Chad?"

Nicole definitely knows where Chad is. She stands down at the dock with him and suggests they are going about things the wrong way, "You have needs and I can meet those needs. Maybe we can come up with something beneficial for both of us."

Chad asks, "Mrs. DiMera, are you trying to seduce me?"

Nicole moves in and smiles, "Be honest. Wouldn't you like me to?"

Roman is at the pub with Arianna. She tells him she hasn't heard from Rafe, but Brady is looking for him. Roman asks if she and Brady are back together again. "We are," whines Arianna, "I know it's a mistake."

"It's more than a mistake," says Roman, "Especially if you happen to be Brady."

Brady shows up at Sami's place and tells her he's there about Rafe.

Carly continues to nurse Rafe. She tells Omar they have to get him antibiotics. She stoops down in front of him, "OMG! His fever is spiking like an upside down graph of DOOL ratings! " Carly is concerned but Omar thinks they should leave Rafe to someone else since people are trying to kill her.

Rafe has a rare moment of consciousness, "Trying to kill me..."

Carly sees he's delirious. "There is only one thing we can do," says Carly, "I've got to get to Salem hospital. If things haven't changed, there's a lab in the basement... in the back of the lab, a row of shelves... on the top shelf, a jar... in the jar, a brain... marked 'ABBY NORMAL.'"

Bo shows up at the hospital. Apparently Lexie has forgotten about The SPD's volunteer program. Which he's ostensibly there to discuss. Lexie asks how Bo and Hope are doing. Bo doesn't pull any punches, "Things would have to get better to be bad."

Omar insists they abandon Rafe. Carly refuses, "I have a friend in Salem."

Omar asks, "You lived in Salem, and only have one friend?"

"That's right," says Carly, "I was very popular."

Bo tells Lexie Ciara's kidnapping has brought up issues between him and Hope. Lexie digs for details. Bo clarifies, "Hope is pretty much wrong about everything and I'm right."

"Yeah," says Lexie, "I think I can see why you might have an issue or two."

Chad moves in on Nicole. He gets into things. He gets a little two enthusiastic. Nicole pushes him off and screams. For the first time ever, a Salem cop is right where he needs to be. He runs up to rescue Nicole, "Is this guy bothering you?"

"He was attacking me," gasps Nicole.

The cop asks, "Do you wanna press charges?"

"Yes I do!"

OK. Back to reality. Did those tricky little DOOL writers fool you with that one? I'll bet not. Anyway, Nicole moves in on Chad, "So what do you way, you wanna have a little fun?"

Brady tells Sami he has offered to help Arianna with Rafe. Sami assumes they are back together. Brady denies but then comes clean, "You can't tell anyone. No one."

Roman chides Arianna for getting back with Brady. "I know it's stupid and dangerous," says Arianna.

Roman understands, "I'm not so old I don't remember doing things that were stupid and dangerous."

"Back when the earth was cooling," asks Arianna.

"Yesterday," says Roman. He says he hopes Brady doesn't know she's on the job. Arianna tells her Brady doesn't but Victor does, "He thinks I'm really a drug dealer and is threatening to tell Brady. I don't know what to do."

"Very simple," says Roman, "Do what always happens on this show – nothing."

Nicole caresses Chad, "I'm sure Mia was very sweet. But it's different with a woman."

Chad gulps, "Mrs. DiMera..."

"Call me Nicole, please..."

"You're trying to get me to..."

"Relax," says Nicole, "and let me do what I do so well."

"You mean you're going to lie to me," asks Chad, "I can't... I won't..."

"Maybe it's for the best," says Nicole, "You might be too much man for me."

Chad does a double-take, "Wait! I know that line. OMG! You're that girl in the movie! OMG, you're a porn star! My daughter's being raised by a porn star! Can I have your autograph? "

Roman says the Victor issue don't bother him at all, "If he sees this upset you it plays into our game."

"It's not ours any more," says Arianna, "I quit. Go find yourself a new stooge. N'yk-n'yk-n'yk."

That ole philosopher and love guru Sami tells Brady a good relationship starts with not having to keep things secret. Brady asks if what Arianna is hiding might have anything to do with what Rafe was hiding. Sami doesn't think so. She says the fact that Arianna doesn't know where Rafe is really concerns her.

Omar refuses to help Carly. "You know I always get my way," says Carly, "You might as well just give in." Omar holds his ground like a mudslide. He agrees to watch Rafe while Carly goes on her mission to the hospital.

Bo and Lexie talk about the sad shape of the Salem PD's volunteer program. "The budget," says Bo, "is, this is the technical term, busted. We can't afford a director of volunteers."

"What does a director of volunteers do at the SPD," asks Lexie.

"Volunteers to go get the donuts."

"I see," says Lexie, "I didn't realize this was so serious. How about if you just have moneybags Hope underwrite the program?" Bo gets uncomfortable.

Nicole says, "You have mistaken me for someone else. I look a lot like people in the entertainment industry."

"I know," says Chad, "But Lassie and Benji are shorter."

"We'll you're wrong about this," says Nicole.

"No I'm not," says Chad, "You are the star of 'Locker Room Lolita.'"

Nicole is busted, "That was in the past. I made mistakes. But my question is, if you're so much 'holier than thou,' how is it you recognize me as a porn star? The only way you could do that is if you're been watching those filthy things, you little perv."

Backed into a corner, Chad consults the Guy Manual, "Oh, for God's sake, just remind her you're a guy. That will explain everything."

Chad asks, "How can you say that's in the past when you are throwing yourself at me? Thanks, but no thanks. As much fun as it would be to brag to my friends about about bagging a hot old nymphomaniac, I'm not doing anything to screw up getting my kid back."

Bo is unenthusiastic about Lexie's suggestion to use Mommy Warbucks' trust fund. Lexie tries to convince him. Bo tells her Hope took Ciara and bugged out. Lexie says she thought they were just on vacation. Bo sets her straight. Bo thinks the kidnapping has just dug up old issues that were there all the time.

Carly leaves Omar in charge of Rafe and heads for the hospital. He's concerned for her safety. "Don't worry," Carly assures him, "There is nothing to worry about. Nothing ever happens in Salem."

Out in the audience, Melba whispers to Fern, "That's for darn sure."

Chad gets on his high horse, in lieu of mounting Misty, "I'll tell you something, Misty Circle, Sydney won't have some porn star for a mother." Nicole insists he's trying to do this to get back at Mia. She rambles on about how much she loves Sydney and EJ, but Chad isn't interested in her sob story.

Nicole gets a bit sharp with the young lad, "Here's the deal, if you really want her, every second is precious, but if you don't – and we both know you don't – every minute can be a burden. You're not a giving person. Wait until you can't party all night long and go out with your friends chasin' tail."

Nicole tells him she has lead a hard life but that has made her a good mother. She insists she has given Sydney love and accuses Chad of wanting to take that away from her. She tells him he doesn't want to become EJ's enemy.

"Maybe you should meet my family," says Chad, "They have power and it's all legal. Wait until I tell them you came on like some whore in a movie. I'll see you in court."

Brady is back at the DiMera mansion remembering fond moments with Arianna. He texts her, "Thinking of you."

Back at the pub, Arianna gets the message.

Roman reads the message as Arianna looks at it. Roman chuckles, "He's a veritable Lord Byron, isn't he? 'Thinking of you.' Is that the best he can do?"

Lord Byron turns to his buddy Will Shakespeare, "Roman is right. Brady should have quoted one of my more obscure, but beautiful poems, 'Thou walk in beauty, even though thou beist but a cheap bar wench.'"

Roman tells Arianna she can't quit, "Even if you quit you can't tell Brady about our arrangement. The department won't allow that. It don' work that way. We'll make it look like Victor is right. You made a deal. We're still waiting for you to fill your end of the bargain."

Arianna drops the big bomb, "They'll send me back to prison won't they?"

Roman knows he's hooked her, "There you go."

Don't be overly concerned about bacteria. If you watch DOOL, bacteria may be the only culture you get.

Sami has made tracks to the Java Café. She walks up and orders coffee, "You're Chad, right? I know Sydney and I'd like to talk to you about her."

Bo fills Lexie in on all the old things that are resurfacing with Hope... Patrick, Chelsea, Zack, the fact that he forgot to take out the trash last Tuesday... "We could use that device Will Smith had in that movie that erases people's memories." Bo thinks Hope doesn't want things to work out with them, "She's using this as an excuse to get out."

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth," says Lexie, "I'll bet you're mad as hell."

"Hope is the one who is angry," says Bo.


Bo admits it, "You're right. I've never been this mad, not even last year when I bet on the Detroit Lions to make it to the Super Bowl. I'll never make that mistake again. This year, I'm behind the Tampa Bay Buccaneers all the way."

Carly walks through the dark of night.

Roman says he likes Arianna, but wants her to do this job. Arianna says she doesn't want Brady to know she was in prison. Roman thinks at one point she might want to tell Brady about it, "You are selling this guy way to short."

"You're right," says Arianna, "How could I not think he's the cream of the crop after being stupid enough to hook up with Chloe and messing his life up with drugs?"

Nicole comes in and finds Brady working. He is surprised to see her there. Nicole whines, "You are the only one I can turn to."

Brady asks, "Where is Sydney?"

Out on the beltway, Sydney rides in her stroller as it freewheels down the road. She cuts off a semi, "WHEEEEEEEE!"

Nicole moves in, "Oh, Brady, I need you... So much." Hugs.

Chad sits with Sami. She tells him her name and says she knows Sydney and Nicole. Chad says there is nothing she can say to change his mind. Sami tells him he might want to rethink things.

That confuses Chad, "Don't you have to be able to think before you can rethink?"

Bo says during the kidnapping he made a deal with God that if he got Ciara back he would never ask for anything else, "I didn't know I was about to lose everything."

Lexie tries to smooth things over, "You know, Abe and I have been through a lot."

"You guys are different," says Bo.

"How so," asks Lexie.

"One of you isn't Hope." You've gotta give Bo credit. He has more insight than a dead housefly. As they talk Carly walks behind them and hides her face.

Sami tells Chad about having her first kid and deciding to keep him instead of putting him up for adoption, "I did it because I was trying to hold on to a man. There are the reasons you tell people and there are the real reasons." She encourages him not to let his pride get in the way, "In the end Sydney Will pay."

Chad asks, "So you think your son paid because you didn't put him up for adoption?"

"I loved him from the first moment," says Sami, "but the novelty wears off pretty quick. They cry and cry and cry and it is hard pacing the floor asking them to go to sleep. Then you end up cursing them. I was selfish. I was putting myself first instead of Wi... my son." Translation, "God I hate being a mom."

Chad wonders how all this has affected her son. "He's insecure," says Sami, "I know it's my fault. I wasn't (say it with her) there for him. I know you went to reform school for smokin' dope. What if you make other mistakes? What if you want to travel? What happens to Sydney?"

"None of that will happen," says insists Chad.

Sami asks, "Are you taking her on dates and your honeymoon?"

Chad says, "Yes I will – absolutely."

Sami says, "Just know that means she is stopping you from fulfilling your dream. She will know she did that and will sense your resentment. I can't change my past, but you can do what's right for your daughter."

Sarcastic Bo is certain Lexie has enjoyed their little chat. Lexie assures him it isn't over with Hope. She gets a page and leaves. Bo stands there with his thumb in his ear, "Well, what's next?"

Carly digs into the highly secure medicine chest cabinet. As she leaves, Maxine stops Bo. Carly watches.

Sami says she knows she's given Chad a lot to think about. "Hey," says Chad, "I'm not some jerk. I'm a special jerk."

"Then do the right thing," says Sami, "Leave her with her adopted mother."

"Maybe you're right," says Chad, "You're the first person to make any sense about this."

"That just shows how little sense there is in this town," says Sami.

Nicole pours her heart out, "When I came back to Salem, I was all about EJ, and I was wrong. I should have welcomed you with open arms."

Brady asks, "What are you talking about."

Nicole lays it on the line, "I want to go away – the two of us – for all the Days Of Our Lives.

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at:

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Anonymous Berg said...

I think it's hilarious that Chad recognizes Nicole from her infamous body of work. Otherwise? Snooze fest.

3:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, so that line 'you might be too much man for me' is so unique in a porn movie, that Chad instantly recognizes it and the movie it's from, and knows Nicole was Misty Circle - LOL.

4:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To prove her undeniable love for Ej and Sydney, her beautiful dreamy family the skank Nicole throw herself at a 16 years old teen and Brady !! MOUAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH.
Dool ssssssoooooooo ffffuuuuuunnnnyyy
Euh why Lexie is the new shrink on Salem ?? Euh Bo she stole your son remember..ok too late, i give up....bipppppppppp.

5:30 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Chad asks, "Mrs. DiMera, are you trying to seduce me?"

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Undoubtedly the best line in the entire show, and it was ripped right out of “The Graduate”. Were Simon and Garfunkel singing in the background?

And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

DOOL trying to channel "The Graduate", as if!

She tells him she hasn't heard from Rafe, but Brady is looking for him.

Has he taken his fishing pole to the Salem River to angle for the elusive dull carp?

Bo clarifies, "Hope is pretty much wrong about everything and I'm right."

"Yeah," says Lexie, "I think I can see why you might have an issue or two."

If this storyline is carried out to its illogical conclusion, we are all going to need an industrial size box of No-Doz to get through it.

"Relax," says Nicole, "and let me do what I do so well."

"You mean you're going to lie to me," asks Chad.

Right on Prevuze!

"I quit. Go find yourself a new stooge. N'yk-n'yk,n'yk."

Why soitenly!

That ole philosopher and love guru Sami tells Brady a good relationship starts with not having to keep things secret.

That would make Sami a philosopher, love guru, and hypocrite.

She rambles on about how much she loves Sydney and EJ.

Nicole loves her husband so much that she’s trying to seduce a teenager. Nicole has moved from Misty Circle to Mary Kay Latourneau.

Nicole lays it on the line, "I want to go away – the two of us – for all the Days Of Our Lives.

Nicole loves her husband so much – part deux – that she wants to run off with Brady. Poor Brady – he’s such a loser that he can’t decide between an ex-con and an ex-porn star.

Prevuze – thanks for the great Monday recap and the outstanding homage to “The Graduate”!!!

5:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She stoops down in front of him, "OMG! His fever is spiking like an upside down graph of DOOL ratings!"

So, that would mean his fever is constant, right? There's not much further to fall when you hit rock bottom. Prevuze ratings, however, are soaring!!!

6:19 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

In order for Chad to remember a line from some obscure decades-old porn flick he must've watched it so much he memorized the dialogue. I love his description "hot old nymphomaniac". (BTW, they're having a hard time covering Arianne's pregnancy now. They'd better get out the huge purses, big vases of flowers and oversized baby carriages to start covering it.)

Brady Brady brought up a good point - who IS watching Sydney? Maybe she's down on the docks trolling for sailors. Like adopted mother like daughter.

Did Arianna actually say "Back when the earth was cooling" or is that an unitalicized Prevuism? A good line whoever said it.

LOL over DOOL being our only culture and You gotta give Bo credit. He has more insight than a dead housefly. But do you really think he's got even that much? HAHAHAHAHA

Thanks, Prevuze, for waking us up on a dreaded Monday. At least the sun is shining today - a rarity lately! :D

6:40 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Did those tricky little DOOL writers fool you with that one? I'll bet not.

It was that SPD cop being right there when Nicole needed him that tipped me off.

My first HUH?! moment:
Chad does a double-take, "Wait! I know that line. OMG! You're that girl in the movie!”

What? There’s only ONE porn movie in Salem? How many times has Chad seen it in order to remember the line and what movie it came from? And wouldn’t he have recognized Nicole immediately? On the other hand, I suppose her face wouldn’t have been what Chad was focusing on.

bagging a hot old nymphomaniac Ouch! That was cold, Chad. Go sit in the corner and think about how words can hurt the other person!

Bo says during the kidnapping he made a deal with God..

Enough with these “deals with God” already! And where was the Lord’s reaction to Bo’s statement? Did Prevuze blow the “special guest” budget for this episode on Lord Byron & Willie S?

My even bigger HUH?! moment:
As they talk Carly walks behind them and hides her face.

I thought Carly was desperate to get to Salem and talk to Bo. There he is. Right there. She sneaks by him????

Along with the other lines just mentioned, I must give a shout out to the homage to one of my favorites, Young Frankenstein - the Abby Normal brain. That's what they use for all the brains in Salem isn't it?

Luckily we don't have to look to DOOL or to bacteria for culture. Prevuze provides it in spades. Today you touched on Lord Byron, Shakespeare, The Graduate, Young Frankenstein, Men In Black, and (of course) the Three Stooges.

How much more culture does anyone need? Thanks!

6:54 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Oooo, oooo - a real word popped up for the next word verification. "Finess"

I wish the DOOL writers could finess a little drama out of this drek.

6:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is idiocy to think that Chad would even contemplate leaving his daughter's care in Nicole's hands, despite Sami's good advice, after the aforementioned "hot, old nymphomaniac" just tried to seduce him.

Nicole is an unfit mother mainly because she has no moral values and standards. How can she raise a child to be a good, decent person when she doesn't understand the concepts behind such words as decency, morality, and goodness?

8:27 AM  

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