Monday, March 16, 2009

A Sheep In Heat

Phillip and Stephanie play smoochie-grabbie on the couch. Stephanie thinks maybe she should go. Phillip wants her to stay. "But what about your dad," asks Stephanie.

"You're more fun," says Phillip.

I don't like it when you're cocky and full of yourself," says Stephanie.

"Yeah, you do," says Phillip.

Tony and Melanie are on the phone arranging to meet and make the exchange – money for blueprints. Melanie hangs up, "Nothing like a big check and watching Phillip squirm."

Brady and Bo are at the Cheatin' Heart sharing a drink. "Happy St. Patrick's Day," says Brady, "May the world rise up to meet you!" Bo toasts and Brady brings up Titan.

Kate tells Bertha the Biddy she has to get off the plane quickly and crawls over her. Bertha congratulates her on the wedding. The jack-booted attendant, however blocks Kate and reminds her the seat belt sign is still on. Kate Protests but Frau Blücher tosses her back into her seat.

The JP lectures Lucas and Chloe about the solemnity of the ceremony. He says he's going to check to make sure they are ready to proceed, "Do either of you know any reason you should not be joined together in holy matrimony? Speak now or forever hold your peace."

Things get pretty noisy and confusing, since if there is one thing neither Chloe or Lucas can do is keep quiet.

Daniel rushes around the hospital, "Chloe?"

Chloe and Lucas look at each other. The JP asks, "Am I sensing hesitation?" Chloe and Lucas exchange more stares. They sweat. We wait... and wait... and wait... A glacier whizzes by... Chloe gulps.

Brady explains that a worm wiped out the data. He tells Bo Victor doesn't know what happened. Max overhears and asks if they think Melanie is involved. Melanie walks in and everyone stares.

Phillip and Stephanie watch the late-late show. Stephanie thinks it's boring. She moves in on him and they start their own show. Suddenly, the lights come on. Victor stands at the door soaking it all in.

Kate argues with the attendant, who makes her buckle up. Kate complies and Frau Blücher walks off. Kate fumes, "Give a small mind a lot of power... and you get EJ." Bertha watches as Kate goes over a list of wedding chapels trying to narrow down the location

Bertha asks, "You don't know where your son is getting married?"

Kate erupts, "My son is not getting married!"

Chloe stammers. Lucas stammers. "I think there is a reason why we shouldn't get married," says Loserclueless.

Hope meets Daniel at the hospital. She says she's finished with her shift at the SPD and is at the hospital to work with children."

"Isn't working with children what you do all day with the cops at the SPD," asks Daniel. Daniel says he is off to celebrate St. Patrick's Day.

Hope thinks Daniel looks a little lost, "What were you thinking about just now."

"Daniel asks, "You mean beside the fact that whatever I'm thinking about is none of your business? I was sort of wondering how doing the right thing can feel so wrong."

Lucas says they can't get married because they need witnesses. And barf bags. The JP says he will take care of that. He calls for witnesses. Lucas turns to Chloe, "It's gonna happen."

Chloe stares and thinks, "That's right if you mean the poop hitting the fan."

Kate insists she will stop the wedding. Bertha whines, "But your son loves her."

Kate has a conniption, "She's a conniving little money grubbing bitch who breaks men's hearts. She's a whore and drove her first husband to drugs. She lives her life like a sheep in heat!"

CENSORED.


The JP sets things up. Chloe flashes back to begging God to save Lucas. The JP snaps a picture. For those of you new to DOOL, this is a technique known as stalling.

Bo wants to ask Melanie a few questions. She points out she has lost more than anybody, but the cops want to blame her. Bo asks about any contact she has had with the DiMeras. Melanie says EJ made an offer and then took it off the table. Brady asks if Max has documents that would let them reconstruct the formula. Max' deodorant fails him.

Victor stares at Stephanie and Phillip sprawled out on the couch. "Oh," he gasps, "Excuse me. I'm so sorry." He turns the lights back down and leaves. Stephanie blushes. Phillip assures her Victor likes her. More slobbering ensues.

Just as the JP is about to start the ceremony, the phone rings. The JP decides he just has to pick up. When he does, Kate tells him she can't find the place her son is getting married, "Can you help me?"

Max can't think of a thing he might have to get the Alternative Fuels Project back up and running. Bo and Brady leave. Melanie lectures him for lying.

Phillip and Stephanie continue to lap up on each other. Suddenly, the lights come on again. Victor stomps in and rages at Phillip, "Brady just told me what happened at Titan!"

Hope pries, then figures out Daniel's issue is private, apologies for butting in and butts in more. She leaves.

Kate asks if Lucas and Chloe are there but, right on cue, the phone goes dead. She explodes and says she has to get off the plane.

The JP starts the ceremony, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this couple in holy matrimony."

Prevuze

Stephanie listens through the door as Victor shouts and lectures. Brady and Bo stand inside and watch the show. Bo reminds Phillip, "Withholding information of a crime is itself a crime. Not as bad as writing for DOOL, but close." Phillip stomps out. Stephanie comforts him.

Inside, Victor tells Brady he will have to choose between the DiMeras and the Kiriakis. Brady says he's never considered himself a DiMera.

Melanie tells Max she's glad he refused to give her the blueprints and she's glad they are locked in the safe. Max is suspicious. He says he knows she's planning something and asks her not to do it, whatever it might be. Melanie swears she's done with all this, even though it would be cool to have all that money, "You could further your education so you wouldn't have to work at a bar." Max assures her he's OK. She asks him to check to make sure the blueprints are in the safe. Max refuses to do it until later. Melanie makes him promise to check and leaves. Max turns and opens the safe. Melanie's phone records the action as he turns the dial.

Later, Melanie comes back in and says her car won't start, "It sounds like a dog with a cough." Max grabs a sack of dog biscuits and cough drops and goes out to look at the car. Melanie checks her phone and gets the combo. She walks over and works on the safe.

Bo tells Victor to take it easy and he will handle things. He leaves. Outside he tells Phillip he needs a timeline and a list of Phillip's contacts over the last week. Phillip goes back inside. Bo warns Stephanie, "Phillip is in a bad place right now."

"No kidding," says Stephanie, "Victor is likely to kill him in there." She leaves. Bo follows.

Inside, Phillip insists he's handling things, "You guys are acting like I'm the first person who's ever been screwed over by the DiMeras. Well, I'll tell you, I'm going to be the last. If you want to watch a family crash and burn, watch the DiMeras."

Victor says, "If you want to watch a family crash and burn, watch Max Brady race his niece."

Victor gets a call. He goes out in the foyer to take it. Kate updates him on the wedding caper. She tells him she's trapped on the plane, but once she can get out, she's headed for the chapel. "Your son may be a married man by the time you get there," says Victor.. Kate hangs up and stews.

The JP harangues on. Of course, Loserclueless can't find the rings.

Daniel wanders and imagines himself marrying Chloe. At least he remember the ring, "With this ring, I thee wed. I vow to love, honor and cherish you for all the Days Of Our Lives."

"I Chloe, take you Daniel, to be my husband to love, honor and cherish, forsaking all others as long as it's convenient."

Daniel pops back to reality, "It's never gonna happen, pal. Never."

Hope accidentally on purpose bumps into Daniel again. He says he's just going home instead of going out. Hope wonders if he needs to discuss whatever is going on, "I know you may not want to. I know you hate perceptive people."

"I hate busybodies, too," says Daniel. Bo walks in and watches as Hope and Daniel skip off together.

The witnesses loan Chloe and Lucas their rings. The JP says, "Place the ring on her finger and repeat after me, 'with this ring, I thee wed...'"

Lucas places the ring on Chloe's finger, "With this... what was the rest of it? "

Bo horns in on Hope and Daniel. Daniel leaves. Jealous Bo wonders what they were talking about.

"DO NOT GO THERE," shouts Hope, "First Rafe, now Daniel. Can't I even talk to a guy?"

"Not if the guy is lucky," says Bo.

Hope seethes, "Do you know how insulting this is to me?" Bo backs off and says the visions are driving him crazy. "You must have a lot of visions," says Hope, "But I promise I will never be with another man."

Melanie removes the blueprints from the safe and sticks them in her purse. Max comes back in and tells her she flooded her car. She offers to buy him a drink. "I get them for free," says Max. In that case she suggests a toast, because the thinks things are about to turn around for them.

Brady tells Phillip he can't make his own private deals for Titan. Phillip tells him the only reason he's at Titan is to spy for Victor, "Besides, you're never there. You're always hanging out with Nicole."

Brady can't figure how Phillip got the idea he's having an affair with her. Phillip lectures him for siding with Nicole who is marrying a DiMera, "If you're not having an affair with her, what is going on and why is she letting me blackmail her and getting EJ to scrap the Alternative Fuels Project?"

Melanie arrives at the DiMera mansion to see Tony. She trades the blueprints for a check. She wonders when she gets more money. "I have to confirm this works," says Tony, "You'll get more money when things work out."

"Where is my contract," asks Melanie.

"The same place my DOOL contract is," says Tony, "You'll get it – I'm not going to kill the goose that lays the golden egg."

"Pretty much everyone on this show lays an egg," says Melanie.

Brady insists EJ dropped the Alternative Fuels Project because he didn't want it in the first place. Phillip tells Brady if the DiMeras find out he is going behind their back he will be the one to get hurt. Brady tells him to lay off Nicole.

Bo has another flashback. Hope romps with her hunk, "Poor Bo had visions this would happen, but I told him it was ridiculous. I told him it wasn't happening. It was one of my best performances."

"That doesn't say much," says Mystery Man.

Kate walks into the JP's office. It's empty but she finds a DVD. She pops it in the TV.

Meanwhile, up in the Elvis Suite, Chloe and Lucas romp. Lucas asks, "Are you happy, Mrs. Horton?"

"Very," lies Mrs. Horton.

Kate watches the ceremony as the JP pronounces them husband and wife, "NO! NO! NO!" She rewinds and watches again. Chloe repeats her vow, "Forsaking all others till death do us part."

Kate hisses, "Till death do you part... indeed."

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11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Yah - Hope goes to the hospital to work with children??? Is Ciara there??? GIVE ME A BREAK - who would believe this!!! shouldn't she be home with her OWN child. OH YAH - CIARA WHO...?

5:18 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Brady and Bo are at the Cheatin' Heart sharing a drink. "Happy St. Patrick's Day," says Brady, "May the world rise up to meet you!"

This is DOOL. The toast should be “May the bile rise up to meet you!”, and then everybody passes around a box of Prilosec OTC.

Hope thinks Daniel looks a little lost, "What were you thinking about just now."

"Daniel asks, "You mean beside the fact that whatever I'm thinking about is none of your business?”


Is Hope a cop or a therapist?

Melanie removes the blueprints from the safe and sticks them in her purse.

Now, why did she do that? I thought Melanie has a photographic memory. If that has shut down, she could take real photographs with her phone. She'll just hand the blueprints over to Tony, and she still won't have a copy to hide in her underwear drawer. Duh!

In that case she suggests a toast, because she thinks things are about to turn around for them.

Since this is truly “The DOOL Horror Picture Show” and nothing is going to turn around for us, the audience pelts their TVs with toast.

"Where is my contract," asks Melanie.

"The same place my DOOL contract is," says Tony.


…in the great sanitary sewer known as DOOL.

Brady insists EJ dropped the Alternative Fuels Project because he didn't want it in the first place.

If Brady knows this, why didn’t he pass this bit of information on to Nicole? Since Nicole isn’t having an affair with Brady, Phillip would have been in no position to blackmail Nicole. Nicole could have told Phillip to take a flying leap, and the viewers could have been spared all the overwrought drama.

Kate hisses, "Till death do you part... indeed."

Kate must come with a label that says “dry clean only”. If she took a shower, she would surely melt!

…so Rafe noticed Sami’s knockers. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Prevuze, a sunny morning, an incredibly naughty censored link…what a great way to start the week!!!

5:42 AM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...

Kate insists she will stop the wedding. Bertha whines, "But your son loves her."

Kate has a conniption, "She's a conniving little money grubbing bitch who breaks men's hearts. She's a whore and drove her first husband to drugs. She lives her life like a sheep in heat!"


Sounds like a Kate autobio. to me.

Chloe and Lucas exchange more stares. They sweat.
Melanie walks in and everyone stares.

Is staring, visions, daydreams and flashbacks the way they are replacing new writing and storylines?

6:38 AM  
Blogger Klaus said...

"Nothing like a big check and watching Phillip squirm."
Did she learn anything? She's going to end the in same place if she doesn't ignore Philip.

Max overhears and asks if they think Melanie is involved. Melanie walks in and everyone stares.
Yeah, because Melanie - of all people - is certainly capable of writing a program that can erase data on a top of the line computer system with top of the line security. At least being a multimillion dollar corporation I'd assume they have.

For those of you new to DOOL, this is a technique known as stalling.
lmao

Bo wants to ask Melanie a few questions.
Um... wut? So that's all it takes? Brady complains to Bo and he turns it into an official investigation?

"Brady just told me what happened at Titan!"
I'm not really hounding on Brady but, my gosh, is that man a tattle tale. lol

Inside, Victor tells Brady he will have to choose between the DiMeras and the Kiriakis. Brady says he's never considered himself a DiMera.
I guess this is a coming storyline? What with EJ reminding Brady he is a DiMera as well. Brady has never been particularly 'DiMera like', so what's with the ultimatum. I wonder if that's how they're going to treat Belle when/if she returns.

Melanie's phone records the action as he turns the dial.
Lol what happened to her photographic memory.

"Where is my contract," asks Melanie.
She handed it over without the contract first? And she probably handed over the real deal instead of copies - like an intelligent would do.

Lucas asks, "Are you happy, Mrs. Horton?"
Yet a divorce for you Mr. Horton? You never luck out.

And where the hell is Lexie?

6:39 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

This was an infuriating, stupid mess of an episode. So many HUH?! moments which Leslie and Anon have mention. However, in the true spirit of DROOL which never passes up the opportunity to flail away at dead horses here were two of my top three:

[Hope] says she's finished with her shift at the SPD and is at the hospital to work with children.

Uh, why doesn’t she go home and spend some time with her OWN daughter?

"If you're not having an affair with her, what is going on and why is she letting me blackmail her and getting EJ to scrap the Alternative Fuels Project?"

That is the million dollar question, pal! The million dollar answer? The writers have made Nicole a brainless twit.

And the #1 HUH?! moment: Kate just waltzing into the JP's office, picking up a DVD and watching it. She been going to every JP and wedding chapel in Vegas?? Looking at every video and DVD she could put her hands on? Jeez!

Loved the Icy/Hot picture. If only this show could dish up some icy/hot storylines we'd all be in better shape. TX Prevuze

6:43 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Some of my questions other than the ones mentioned:

Kate called Victor from the plane. What did she think he could do about what was going on in Vegas? Go thru the Salem transporter and start looking in every chapel for her? And since when was Victor liked Stephanie?

If Luclueless had to remind the JP they need witnesses how dumb is the JP?

That racing glacier could definitely outpace these storylines. "GET ON WITH IT!" "Which one?" "ANY OF THEM!" Oh, sorry, years of DOOL watching have intensified the tortured voices in my head.

But I can survive Monday, thanks to Prevuze. Loved the censored link and the picture of the wedding ceremony. Thanks! :D

7:10 AM  
Anonymous Victoria said...

I love that Hope nearly dumped Bo because he didn't take the shooting "vision" seriously and is now freaking that he is taking the adultery "vision" seriously. I really do not like Hope's character. Mind you, I hate the whole vision storyline.

7:12 AM  
Anonymous Janet Jackson said...

I think Salem is a man's wet dream.

How can anyone NOT notice all the knockers that are constantly on display as if they're for sale?

8:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My question: If Philip is so wealthy why does he still live at home where his Dad keeps coming in while he's making out with girls in their living room?

~Lisa

9:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kate has a conniption, "She's a conniving little money grubbing bitch who breaks men's hearts. She's a whore and drove her first husband to drugs. She lives her life like a sheep in heat!"

Hello, Kettle? This is Pot....You're black!

2:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watching Victor get all huffy over well, ....everything reminds me of the mans near death experience with a stroke. Now, he's back to running Titan and everyone's lives and swilling the booze while he's doing it. Boy, stroke meds today are really something huh?

7:18 PM  

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