Friday, March 06, 2009

Quaking In His Guccis

Melanie stands outside and contemplates nothing in particular. Brady comes up and wonders what Phillip did. Melanie goes into a whinefest and falls apart. She drops her purse. Brady tries to help her pick it up, but Melanie becomes unglued and stops him. "I can't trust people! Especially men!" In spite of the hysterics, Brady somehow maneuvers his way into the jaws of death and hugs her.

Stephanie messes with Phillip's computer. Suddenly she gasps and jumps back from the monitor. "What," asks Phillip, "Did you lose the file."

"I think I lost everything."

Nicole arrives home and finds EJ in the rumpus room. EJ is distracted as she rants, "What does it matter to you who Sami kisses these days? She told me you filed a complaint against her bodyguard. She said you are jealous of this guy." EJ knows how to handle the situation. He stands up and moves in for a sloppy kiss.

Stefano is on the phone. He orders his henchman to find out why Nicole went to a convent, "We certainly know she didn't suddenly find religion."

Sami rushes into Sister Teresa's office and babble, "WHO WAS THE WOMAN HOLDING MY BABY? WHO WAS SHE? WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE DOING HOLDING MY DAUGHTER?" Sami would have to improve considerably to become bipolar. This woman has more poles than Krakow.

Sister Teresa lectures Sami about her godless language, "Watch your damned tongue, you little b*tch! We don't use %@#$& language like that around here! " She tries to calm Sami down.

Sami sees the empty crib and goes off the deep end, "MY BABY! WHERE'S MY BABY? WHERE'S GRACE?"

"Wherever she is," says Sister Teresa, "I hope she can come up with a good set of earplugs before she gets back."

Stephanie stares into the black computer screen, "I can't figure out what happened."

Phillip gets a call, "How is that possible? Well, get to work on it!" He hangs up and says, "The problem is company wide. It's the DOOL virus. Once it gets inside your system, absolutely nothing happens. Titan's entire database was wiped clean."

Prevuze

Stephanie asks, "How could that happen?"

Phillip flashes back to his argument with EJ and growls, "Oh, I have a damn good idea."

Melanie sobs, "I'm sorry for turning into a crybaby." Not sorry enough to stop blubbering, though.

Brady hugs her, "Don't worry, the coat is waterproof, although my skin is starting to prune up." He suggests they talk about it.

Melanie resists, "Why are you being nice to me."

"You gave us the Alternative Fuels Project."

"I see," says Melanie, "Do unto others. Phillip thinks that too. That's why I don't have a job." She starts to leave. Brady stops her. She still can't figure why he's being so nice to her. He suggests going to a place where she can work out all her anger.

"What do you have in mind," asks Melanie.

"DOOL is on," says Brady, "Let's go watch and throw a few bricks at the TV."


EJ and Nicole come up for air. EJ says his only interest is in Nicole, "You have my heart. Only you. My worry over the FBI guy is only because I am concerned about Johnny. Sami is back and has to understand her security affects Johnny's security. If the guy behind this thinks Sami is some kind of liability... I just don't want this guy to get the assignment to keep guarding her if it comes to that."

Roman sits in the pub and calls Stefano. He asks him to come down to the station. Stefano resists but Roman threatens.

Sister Teresa says sister Gabriel took Grace for a ride. Well, those terrifying words send Screamin' Sami right off the scale. She panics and Sister Teresa continues to attempt to calm her down. Sami nukes, "I don't like her being passed around like a pet bunny!"

Sister Teresa reminds her, "After you abandon your pet bunny at the animal shelter, you don't have much to say about who gets to hold her and who doesn't."

Sami asks more questions about the mystery woman, "What did she really want?"

The IT guy gets the startup page back on Phillip's computer, but says he can't so any more than that, "A worm did this. Its a sophisticated virus that can duplicate itself and it wiped out all your data."

Phillip asks, "And you can never get it back?"

"Not likely," says Mortimer Nerd.

"Thank God you've got backups," says Phillip.

"What are those," asks Mortimer.


Phillip asks Stephanie to supervise, "I'm going to go deal with a worm."

Phillip leaves. Mortimer says, "The worm is in the system. Doesn't he understand that?"

"He's talking about a different kind of worm," says Stephanie.

Melanie and Brady arrive at the Cheatin' Heart. Melanie says, "I'm underage I can't drink. What are we here for? Could we tie Phillip to those chairs and break those bottles over his head?"

Brady says, "I thought we could do the next best thing – tie you to the chairs and duct tape your mouth shut."


AGAIN Sister Teresa tries to calm Sami down. Sami says, "There was a time I was going to tell the father the truth, but now I'm glad I stuck to my guns."

Sister Teresa says, "I firmly believe a babbling ninny like you should never be anywhere near guns."

"I don't wanna think about what his family would do if they ever found out," says Sami.

EJ and Nicole sit and talk about their prospective honeymoon. Nicole tells him about her dress. She says she needs a down payment.

EJ is confused, "What did you do the the down payment I gave you?"

Roman continues to work on Stefano. Stefano continues to refuse and rant. "I'll come in," booms Stefano, "But only after you get a subpoena!"

"It'll have to wait until tomorrow, then," says Roman, "Today I was in the mood for a pizza instead."

Stefano hangs up and makes another call, "Get in touch with our friend in St. Louis and get rid of any ties he had with the guy who ordered the job on the mayor. I'll expect results in a week or you'll be added to the list!" He hangs up, "I can't believe the incompetence. My staff is dumber than a bunch of DOOL writer rejects."

Melanie and Brady play darts. Brady hits a bullseye and Melanie asks who's face he's imagining on the board. "Actually," says Brady, "I do have someone in mind."

A gal in the audience imagines Melanie's face on the board and hits a bullseye from the back row.

Phillip arrives at the DiMera mansion. Stefano opens the door and Phillip tells him he is there to see EJ.

EJ finishes writing a check and hands it to Nicole. Nicole looks at the amount and her eyes pop out, "I guess if you were dumb enough to let me pull off a fake pregnancy while living with you, you're dumb enough to keep writing checks for a down payment you already made." Phillip walks in and EJ unwraps himself form Nicole's little finger.

Sami tells Sister Teresa Rafe is in trouble, "He bent a few rules when he was guarding me. That makes it even more important no one find out Grace is here."

"What does him bending rules have to do with you wanting no one to find out Grace is here," asks Sister Teresa.

"Not a thing," says Sami, "But I thought it sounded good."


Phillip 'splains what has happened back at the office. Stefano listens as Phillip threatens, "I'm going to take action!"

"Action," asks EJ, "Not on this show."

Sister Teresa walks in with Grace and Sami makes over her, "I met another little baby, too." Sister Teresa asks about the other baby's mother. Sami trashes her and says she got soooo emotional holding her baby, "That poor little girl will be raised by that bi... witch..."

Sister Teresa interrupts, "How many times do I have to warn you about your %&#(@#*& language?"

Sydney cries. Nicole goes upstairs to check on her. After she's gone, EJ blows up and tells Phillip to stay away from his family. They exchange threats as Stefano listens and smiles.

Nicole holds Sydney and wonders what set Phillip off, "If daddy ever finds out who your real mommy is... get a grip Nicole. Sami held you and didn't suspect a thing." She puts Sydney into her crib and says she will die before she lets Sydney go live with Sami.

"I think I'd choose death myself before living with her," says Sydney, "but, frankly, this place is no picnic either."

Sami says she is trying to find a way to bring Grace back. "You'd better do it quickly," says Sister Teresa, "You're certainly racking up a big babysitting fee here."

Sami apologizes and says she has to go. She smooches Grace, "Soon you will meet your brothers and sisters and we will be together for all the Days Of Our Lives."

Brady gets a call. Nicole begs him to help her, "It's life or death." She tells him Phillip has flipped out and is over there talking about the Alternative Fuels Project, "What if he tells EJ we have a secret. Something is going on at Titan. Find out what it is and tell me if I have something to worry about." Brady hangs up, makes another call and gets the lowdown and gets the lowdown on the Titan datasaster.

Melanie pretends she's throwing darts at EJ and Phillip. She decides the darts are a great weapon, "I could dress up at night and fight crime with these things." Brady interrupts and tells her about the virus. "But you should be OK," says Melanie, "You have antivirus and firewalls."

"Nope," says Brady, "We left our system wide open and told the doofs in the the IT department if they ever backed up any data we'd fire them on the spot. So everything is gone. Including the specs on your Alternative Fuels Project."

"You mean the specs that are so complex I can draw them on a piece of scrap paper," asks Melanie.

"Totally wiped out," says Brady.


Phillip tells EJ he has crossed the line, "Industrial espionage is a crime."

"Not as big a crime as airing this show," says EJ.

Phillip taunts as he leaves, "Can you handle prison, pretty boy?" Stefano smokes and chuckles as he watches Phillip storm out. He goes in with EJ and applauds the performance.

The Prevuze unabashed dictionary defines "Twitter" as "Social nitwitting."

Sami arrives at the pub and finds Roman. He tells her he doesn't like her living alone in the townhouse with the two babies. He says he believes Stefano is behind the mayor's murder.

"So," says Sami, "I guess that eliminates any possibility that Stefano was involved. It's because of that scumbucket I was kept from my kids." Roman tells her not to trust Stefano or EJ. Sami agrees. She wants to talk bout Rafe, "Dad, I need a really big favor."

back at Titan, Phillip explodes and rants about the computer crash. Mortimer tells him the worm destroyed all the data and then destroyed itself. Phillip tells him to get back to work on it.

Stephanie and EJ guffaw and cackle over EJ's great performance. Stefano laughs, "That young man was quaking in his Guccis!" Nicole walks back in and asks why Phillip was so upset. Stefano makes underhanded remarks about Nicole's capabilities as a mother, "I'm glad we assigned Mary to the nanny chores so Nicole is free to come and go as she chooses. You know, I think Sydney looks remarkably like Giovanni."

"The poor girl will never get a date," says Nicole.

Sami tells Roman about all Rafe's heroism. She asks if he could put in a good word for the ISA. Roman says he already did, "Still, Rafe's under review and could be cut loose."

"If that happens," whines Sami, "could you get him a job at the SPD?

"I'm not sure his IQ is low enough," says Roman.

Melanie cries in her beer... er, diet coke... over the loss of the Alternative Fuels Project. Brady says he has to get to Titan but will call her if he learns anything.

Phillip thinks Victor will blame him for this, "I'm going to fix it."

"How," asks Stephanie.

Phillip sweeps everything off his desk, "I'm gonna kill EJ DiMera."

Stephanie looks at the mess on the floor, "Even if you get your data back, it looks like you'll need a new monitor."

EJ and Stefano toast. "It's a good day to be a DiMera," says Stefano. He tells EJ he thinks Nicole was stressed. EJ says that's because of Samanther's return. He thinks the witless protection program wrecked her life. EJ says he won't let Samantha's problems interfere with his happiness.

Roman tells Sami there is a hiring freeze at the department and Rafe doesn't do things by the book. He thinks Rafe will get nothing more than a reprimand from the FBI, anyway, "He'll move on and be just fine. I also think you need to move on and be just fine."

"I'm working on that," says Sami.

"What's your plan," asks Roman.

"Plans are for wimps."

Nicole holds Sydney and coos and babbles at her. She puts her back down, "My little Grace. I miss her, too. OMG what is Sami doing telling people she is dead, and why would she leave her in a convent? Grace shouldn't be punished for Sami's sins. Somehow I will find a way to take care of both of my girls."

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE


14 Comments:

Anonymous Berg said...

Twitter = nitwitter

DOOL = Deadless souless morons and I am talking about the writers

Dr. Dan = Dr. Copafeel

EJ = Scarecrow without a brain

Lucas = Clueless

Stephanie = Steponme


Oh my gawd this is addictive....

3:49 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

EJ knows how to handle the situation. He stands up and moves in for a sloppy kiss.

Did he pull that straight from the “Guy Manual”?

Sami would have to improve considerably to become bipolar. This woman has more poles than Krakow.

Excellent Prevuze!!

"MY BABY! WHERE'S MY BABY? WHERE'S GRACE?"

"Wherever she is," says Sister Teresa, "I hope she can come up with a good set of earplugs before she gets back."


…earplugs or a mute button.

“Titan's entire database was wiped clean."

Not to worry Phillip. Just whip out that backup disc you put in your brief case and take home every night. You do have a backup disc don’t you? Not only is EJ an outstanding lawyer but the audience is supposed to believe he is also a brilliant worm installing computer hacker. Let’s give the worm a name. How about Melanie? Give me a bleeping break!!! Do the writers really think we buy into this garbage?


Sami nukes, "I don't like her being passed around like a pet bunny!"

Sister Teresa reminds her, "After you abandon your pet bunny at the animal shelter, you don't have much to say about who gets to hold her and who doesn't."


Prevuze is ever the voice of reason for the unreasonable.

Phillip asks Stephanie to supervise.

Supervise what? Isn’t she still an intern and didn’t she just think she broke the computer? Geez!

Brady says, "I thought we could do the next best thing – tie you to the chairs and duct tape your mouth shut."

Please…save us all!!

"I guess if you were dumb enough to let me pull off a fake pregnancy while living with you, you're dumb enough to keep writing checks for a down payment you already made."

EJ is dumb as a stone. Unfortunately, that stone is the size of the Rock of Gibraltar.

TGIF and let’s be thankful that we can count on Prevuze for great writing. We can also be thankful that Prevuze has a better backup system than a global billion dollar corporation like Titan!!!

5:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow...Nicole is losing it even more than I thought she would!!! Bahahahahahahah!!!

6:00 AM  
Anonymous SocRMum1 said...

Whoa!!! The biatch is gonna steal the other baby now, too?? She really is digging that hole to China, isn't she?
What a pity once it's all said and done and she's standing there with both kids and shovel in hand EJ will think she's teaching them how to garden.

6:04 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

I reiterate:
Brady says, "I thought we could do the next best thing – tie you to the chairs and duct tape your mouth shut."

If only!

While reading through today's recap I had many a "oh, for pete's sake!" moments (many listed by Leslie). But the real HUH?! moment for me today:

Roman tells Sami…Rafe doesn't do things by the book.

With the way Roman and Bo have used & abused their badges over the years I can’t believe Pard would think this was something negative! LOL

Yet another great toast, compliments of Bulldog and I loved the two pictures with Phil & Stephanie at the computer.

Amen to TGIF! Have a great one everybody.

6:33 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

OK, we all know by now Nicole could talk EJ into anything. So for that reason getting him to adopt a baby is believable. BUT, she already told the sister she gave up her baby. Nobody would just hand another one over to her so how is Nicole going to pull this one off?

You know any corporation like Titan is going to not only have virus security up the wazoo they have off-site backup systems after backup systems. I bet real tech folks are snickering over that one.

Which brings me to my favorite Prevuism today: "So everything is gone. Including the specs on your Alternative Fuels Project."
"You mean the specs that are so complex I can draw them on a piece of scrap paper?"
HAHAHA

OK, THIS time, Mel, wise up and tell Titan I'll redraw them for you for a huge airtight contract and big chunk o' money. Then have the DiMeras bumped off, of course. :P

Loved Leering Phil and "Could you get him a job at the SPD?" "I'm not sure his IQ is low enough."

Thanks for the great end-of-week laughs. TGIP!

7:29 AM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

Did Nicole really say "Somehow I will find a way to take care of both of my girls"???? WTF? She's really going off the deep end at a speed that defies even the current laws of gravity. She can't legally take care of "one" of those girls, never mind two...unles she considers kidnapping and endangering the life of a minor a legally binding contract which guarantees her the right of ownership??? NOT!!! So, if Lucas is "clueless", EJ is a "scarecrow without a brain" and Dr.Dan is "Dr. Copafeel", what is Nicole?

7:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nicole= Nitwit, Nincompoop...should I go on:)

doolfan65

8:23 AM  
Blogger mer4santo said...

Since when has doing things by the book stopped Roman?

8:32 AM  
Blogger luvpumpkns said...

i don't have a problem with nicole wanting mia's baby. that's the only child she legally has a right to, anyway, so it's about damn time she thought of the obligation she has to mia and her baby. sami needs to stfu for once in her life and think logically. if she doesn't want anyone touching her baby, then take her out of the orphanage. ah well, at least she and kate are in the running again for worst mother of the year. should be a real toss-up this time.

10:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Naw, Sami's not in the running for worst mother of the year. Despite leaving her at the orphanage, she seems to be seeing Grace more than most of the mothers in Salem see their children.

12:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But then again Sami can never remember more than one or two of her children at a time. She forgot Will existed while she was in the witness protection program. And since she's been back, has she spent any time with Johnny or Ali (or even mentioned Ali for that matter)?

4:47 PM  
Anonymous Mrs. Kravitz said...

I'm pretty sure I saw Sami with Ali and if Sami gets blasted because of Will it would be nice for Lucas to get blasted also.

I can see why Sami would be upset. Grace is in an orphanage to keep her away from a certain family how does she know that's not who has her now.

2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If some of you would watch the show you'd know that Sami talked about Will all the time while she was in the witness protection program. She told Rafe that she has 3 kids, a teenager who lives with his sister in Switzerland, and twins. She also mentioned to him that all the men in she loves end up leaving her, and the first one she mentioned was Will. And since she's been back to her apartment she's had the twins there all the time.

4:54 PM  

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