Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Mr. Punch First And Ask Questions Later

Nicole and Brady stand in the slums of Salem as Nicole begs himto pose as her fiancée. Brady suggests Nicole try telling the truth. Bold new concept.

Charlotte bumps into John at the pub and spills her coffee. "Don't worry," she says, "I'll add it to your enormous bill." John tells her he's going through with the hypnosis. Marlena overhears.

Chloe is nervous about the upcoming engagement party, "I can't go through with the party until my scars heal." Lucas pours out his love. Suddenly, Chloe sees a wrapped present, "What is this?" Sherlock figures it's a present. "What have you done," asks Chloe.

Lucas stammers, "I didn't do that. I don't know what that is."

"I thought you just said it's a present."

Kate is at the hospital with Daniel. She asks him to come to the party. Daniel doesn't understand why she wants him there. Neither do we. Daniel flashes back to Chloe and her teeny little nightie. He insists she has nothing to do with his reluctance to go to the party.

Mia asks Brady, "Are you going to be my baby's father?"

Prevuze

Brady is stoic, "No, I'm not."

Mia blows her stack. She turns to Nicole and screams, "You are never going to get your hands on my baby!"

Mia runs off and Nicole turns her wrath on Brady, "You ruined my life!"

Chelsea arrives at Chez Rouge to pick up a cake for the impending disaster. Max comes in looking for his cell phone. Their eyes meet. They both turn to a pillar of salt. Max wonders if Chelsea has been avoiding him. She insists she hasn't and also says she didn't run out on him after their big kiss on New Year's Eve.

"I thought we had agreed just to be friends," says Max.

Chelsea asks, "I don't know, Max, do friends go around kissing each other?"

"They do," says Max, "They also dance and cheer and give high-fives, every time you leave the room."

Chloe looks at the card and tells Lucas the present is from Kate. Lucas can't believe how Kate is accepting Chloe, "I'm just blown away by the fact that I don't have to fight for the woman I love."

"Stay tuned," says Chloe, "The show ain't over yet. Maybe Kate has just lowered her standards."

"Even she doesn't go that low," says Lucas, "I'd do anything for you. Outside of my kids, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." Suddenly, Chloe drags him over to the bed and other good things happen.

Kate thinks Daniel is being evasive. She says she can sense the tension between Chloe and him. Daniel thinks she's making too much of it. He says he has to tend to Theo and has other things to do so he can't make it. Kate begs, "If you can clear your schedule, will you come to the party, for me?"

"For you."

Nicole slaps Brady round. Brady grabs her and tells her to calm down. Nicole completely wigs out. Somehow this all becomes Brady's fault, "Without EJ I might as well be dead. You hung me out to dry. I'm putting this all on you."

Max and Chelsea, the supposed adults remain as confused about their New Year's Eve kiss as a couple of adolescents.

Charlotte wonders why John changed his mind. "There is a lot of room in there, which makes it easier to change direction," says John.

All of a sudden they discover Marlena sitting there soaking in the whole conversation. Charlotte mumbles something about patient-client privacy.

"That's a new one on me," says Marlena.. Charlotte implies Marlena was eavesdropping and leaves. Marlena says she is proud of John for deciding to go on with the hypnotherapy. He joins her and she asks what he changed his mind.

"Wanting to know the truth about my past no matter what," says John.

Nicole whines, whimpers and wonders what she will do. She continues to beat up on Brady, who reminds her selling babies is a crime, "I'm trying to talk sense into you. I've always (say it with him) been there for you and I'll always (say it with him) be here for you every time you need help." Nicole thinks he is (say it with her) there for her because he has nothing better to do and actually has never really done anything for her. Brady thinks she's lashing out at him because she can't lash out at EJ.

John tells Marlena Charlotte says the New Year's Eve debacle was his fault. Marlena finds that vveeerrryyy interesting.

Max and Chelsea wonder where things stand. The waitress delivers the cake and they talk about the engagement party. Chelsea is happy for Chloe and Lucas but doesn't feel like a party. Max asks, "So seeing people in love will make you hurl? I feel the same way. Maybe you could go to the party with some good looking... handsome... guy. Or maybe you could go with me."

A knock startles Lucas and Chloe as they romp. Kateus interruptus and she gasps as she realizes what she has walked in on. She starts to leave but Chloe stops her and opens the present. It's an emerald green dress. Chloe oohs and aahs. Kate says she wants her to feel like a princess tonight.

"Oh, I will," squeals Chloe, "A princess leprechaun." Kate goes to help out in the kitchen.

Lucas tells Chloe he can't get over the change in Kate ever since her diagnosis. Chloe thinks she doesn't deserve all this. Insecure Lucas asks, "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Brady says he thinks Nicole feels EJ doesn't love her enough without the baby, "If he abandons you he wasn't worth it in the first place. It's time to take a leap of faith and tell him the truth."

John and Marlena argue about whether or not he wants to remember his past. Marlena thinks he doesn't want to get to the bottom of things and then have to give up his sessions with Dr. Middle Aged Hottie.

Chloe says she wants Kate to stop giving her gifts. Lucas poo-poos that. "That's why I don't tell you things," says Chloe, "You make me feel stupid."

"If I can make you feel stupid," says Lucas, "You must be in a league with my pet rock. Earlier I wanted to take your clothes off. Now I can't wait to see you in that dress."

"How charming," says Chloe. They smooch and Lucas says he looks forward to their "alone time" later. He leaves and Chloe immediately flashes back to Daniel. In its next edition, at the place where the Guy Manual defines schmuck, it will just have a picture of Lucas.

Downstairs, Kate and Lucas greet Daniel as he arrives. Before anyone else can get a word out of his mouth, Daniel asks where Cloe is. "She's upstairs getting ready," says Loserclueless, "She should be down around midnight." Kate just gushes over the fact that Daniel was able to come to the party. "Why wouldn't he come to the party," asks the clueless wonder.

Daniel says, "Your mother and I have decided not to see each other any more."

SUCKER PUNCH!

"Ouch," says Kate, "You nearly broke my jaw."

Nicole says she won't give up, "You think I'm going to let something as stupid as the truth stand in my way? You're a big buzzkill! Take your negativity somewhere else!"

Brady finally gets a pair, "I'm done helping you!"

"You never started."

"Don't call me," says Brady, "Game over!"

Max and Chelsea dance around each other. Chelsea thinks Max wants to go with her because he feels sorry for her, "I'm OK with being alone and I will wear my aloneness proudly." Rejected by Chelsea. We have now redefined the bottom of the barrel.

Kate tells Lucas to calm down. She insists Daniel didn't dump her, "We decided to be friends, Mr. Punch First And Ask Questions Later. Lucas apologizes. Daniel tells Lucas everything's OK and goes to give himself first aid. Mommy scolds sonny-boy.

Daniel knocks on Chloe's door and then walks in. Chloe thinks it's Lucas and asks if he will help zip her dress. She turns and sees Daniel, "Are you looking for Kate?"

"No," says Daniel, "I'm looking for you."

Nicole prays. She pours her heart out, "God, is it so wrong of me to want to be a mother?" Mia listens as Nicole continues to pray, "I would have loved that new little baby just like my sweet little baby girl in heaven."

"That was definitely the prayer of the century," says God, "Have we met?" Mia comes up and comforts her.

John thinks it's not like Marlena to be so hostile. Marlena thinks John is being disingenuous. That rankles John and he smacks the table just like OldJohn. He may be on the verge of squinting, "I just can't win with you, can I?"

"True," says Marlena, "If you're with me, you're a loser. I just want this so badly."

"Then wish me luck," says John.

"Good luck," says Marlena. I hope you're reading a lot into this dialogue, because there is certainly nothing on the surface.

John starts to leave but bumps into Brady on the way out. John tells him hello and goodbye in the same breath. Brady joins Marlena, who tells him John is going into hypnotherapy. Brady thinks Marlena isn't very excited about it. Marlena thinks she has begun something John may not be able to end.

Chelsea has arrived at the party avec cake but sans Max and wonders where everyone is. Lucas gives the rundown but isn't too sure where Daniel is. "By the way," whispers Lucas, "Don't ask what happened to his face."

"Another sucker punch," asks Chelsea.

Chloe caresses Daniel's face and asks what happened.

"It's not important," says Daniel.

"Another sucker punch," asks Chloe, "Did you tell him?"

Daniel assures her, "It had nothing to do with us."

"There is no us," snaps Chloe. She tries to zip her dress on her own, but can't.

Daniel to the rescue. He peeks, zips and cops. Daniel says he wants to talk about something that happened today. He thinks they are wasting time running scared, "You do not have to marry a man you don't love... with your whole heart."

Mia wonders why Nicole is crying. She says she can tell how much Nicole wants her kid, and thinks maybe they can work things out. She still wants to meet Nicole's fiancée. Nicole says he's away on a business trip. She tells Mia she can meet him when he gets back, "But I need an answer now, because I can't stand things that drag on."

"Then you don't watch DOOL, do you," asks Mia, "I'm sorry but no dad, no baby."

Chelsea eats half of an hors o'dourve crumb, "I'm gorging myself today, but will start the diet tomorrow." Lucas gets agitated waiting for Chloe to come down and starts to go upstairs but Chelsea stops him and tells him to be patient.

Daniel says it's cruel to go through with the engagement party. Chloe thinks breaking Lucas' heart is what would be cruel, "I love Lucas."

"And you feel nothing for me," asks Daniel. Chloe is silent. Daniel begs, "Don't go through with this charade."

Nicole tells Mia she will arrange a meeting with EJ. She programs her number into Mia's phone and they agree to meet again soon. Mia leaves.

Nicole vows, "I'm gonna make it work this time – whatever it takes."

Lucas wanders by. Nicole asks, What are you doing down here?"

"I'm just looking for someone else to sucker punch."



Previews
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You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website. Prevuze II should be up no later than noon, Eastern Time.

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9 Comments:

Anonymous Leslie said...

Mia runs off and Nicole turns her wrath on Brady, "You ruined my life!"

It only seems fair that Brady is ruining Nicole’s life because Nicole is certainly ruining the lives of all the DOOL viewers.

"That's why I don't tell you things," says Chloe, "You make me feel stupid."

"If I can make you feel stupid," says Lucas, "You must be in a league with my pet rock.


…and

In its next edition, at the place where the Guy Manual defines schmuck, it will just have a picture of Lucas.


Good gravy, a double whammy!!! That almost made me spit some of my complimentary Starbuck’s Tall Tazo Tea Latte…the London Fog flavor of course. It’s just OK so you can save your $64.82 for something else.

Mommy scolds sonny-boy.

Once again, Luclueless is mommy whipped.

She tells Mia she can meet him when he gets back, "But I need an answer now, because I can't stand things that drag on."

"Then you don't watch DOOL, do you," asks Mia.


Mia is one smart chick.

Lucas wanders by. Nicole asks, What are you doing down here?"

"I'm just looking for someone else to sucker punch."


...and Prevuze delivers another sucker punch to Lucas. OMG, Bulldog, Cfish, and Prevuze, all the photos and captions are great!! By the way Cfish, exactly what cup size is that monster?

7:16 AM  
Anonymous Victoria said...

Lucas is just such an idiot. I can't believe he punched Daniel. The guy just drives me nuts, wish he were the one leaving.

7:55 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Lucas can't believe how Kate is accepting Chloe.

BobbySue finishes taking a poll of her fellow audience members and reports, “Neither can we!”

Nicole thinks he is there for her because he has nothing better to do and actually has never really done anything for her.

Ha! The writers seem to be channeling a little Prevuze there.

"That's why I don't tell you things," says Chloe, "You make me feel stupid." "If I can make you feel stupid," says Lucas, "You must be in a league with my pet rock.

But only Prevuze can channel snark like that. LOL

My HUH?! moment today:
Marlena thinks she has begun something John may not be able to end.

My God! That’s all this woman has harped about since she found Jawn in Stefano’s dungeon. Please. Writers. GIVE US A BREAK!

Lucas is big on sucker-punching folks isn't he? Maybe because he is compensating for something? LOL

Loved the pictures, especially Cfish! I had a flashback to Prevuze previous use of initials for people's names. In this case BW (boob woman) for Bonnie. I think we could easily use the same initials for Chloe.

Leslie, thanks for the Starbucks review. I've wondered how a tea latte would taste.

7:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Prevuze pretty much captured the essence of this entire boring episode in the earlier "no feed" post. I loved the descriptions of Daniel as the staggering bearer of bad news! LOLOL

KOTU

8:01 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

This wasn't italicized but I'm sure it was supposed to be: "They do," says Max, "They also dance and cheer and give high-fives every time you leave the room." Oh how I wish he'd really said that to the brat. HAHAHAHA

And this statement, "That rankles John and he smacks the table just like OldJohn. He may be on the verge of squinting. Makes me wonder - has anyone else noticed Drake is at times slipping back into OldSquints with the almost squinting and almost chewing-the-fat he used to do? I think knowing he and Deidre Hall are off the show he's not concentrating on being "Jawn" anymore. And I loved Jawn! :(

Loved the huge bra pic and Chelsea gorging on half a crumb. Later than usual Prevuze but well worth the wait. Thanks! :)

8:18 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Leslie said...
By the way Cfish, exactly what cup size is that monster?


There aren't enough letters in the alphabet.

Prevuze said...
Chelsea has arrived at the party avec cake but sans Max and wonders where everyone is.


Prevuze -- the best foreign language blog on the internet!

Another double-whammy gem...
Lucas can't believe how Kate is accepting Chloe, "I'm just blown away by the fact that I don't have to fight for the woman I love."
"Stay tuned," says Chloe, "The show ain't over yet. Maybe Kate has just lowered her standards."
"Even she doesn't go that low," says Lucas


And the hits just keep on comin'!!!

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

Nicole: "God, is it so wrong of me to want to be a mother?"
God: "That was definitely the prayer of the century, Have we met?" (Prevuze)

I just can't resist...The boredom has gotten to me, and I feel that I have to take matters into my own hands, and create my own entertainment. It's obvious the DOOL writers are not up to the challenge. Here's my take on this fabulous piece of Prevuizm...continued...

Nicole: Of course not!
God: No matter...I'll tell you a little about myself. I'm in the business of creating Heaven on Earth. My child, it is not only wrong for you to procreate, it is wrong for someone like you to exist on my earth.
Nicole: You Bastard! Go to Hell!

Here's where the Devil rears it's ugly horns to say...
Devil: Excuse me, but did someone call me?
God: What the Hell?
Nicole: Oh, thank God, someone who understands me!
Devil: Unfortunately I can't work miracles. Only God can...I'm in the business of bringing Hell to earth. Since I can't create a child for you, how does adoption sound?
Nicole: Finally, the answer to my prayers!

9:39 AM  
Anonymous tnchargerfan said...

I'm not entirely sure that the bra was really Chloe's size. Looked a little small.

11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can Niho be more nausing than she already is. GUAB. I am sooo tired of seeing her on the screen. They keep showing her and the image will be burned into my tv. Glad I can DVR so I can fast foward all the Niho scenes. Chloe and Dr Horney make me want to barf.
Lustupid is beyond clueless. Hes a whipped guy for sure.

12:05 PM  

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