Friday, October 24, 2008

Milking It For All It's Worth

Melanie reads the mystery note, "I saw you in the cemetery and I know what happened." She strikes a match and holds it next to the note for an eternity.

Chelsea stomps into the Java Café where her computer is waiting. A guy comes up to her, "Hey, Chelsea, what's up?"

Nicole reads her baby book, "Cramps... twinges... May be due to the uterus and abdominal muscles expanding. Varicose veins... hemorrhoids... eeeeuuuwwww. Why do the women have to do all the work and daddies stand around and be stupid? Speaking of which? where is Daddy?"

Daddy is over at the Horton cabin looking confused as Johnny touches Sami and babbles, "Baby!"

EJ asks, "What is my son trying to tell me?"

Sami takes Johnny into the other room and walks out announcing he instantly fell asleep, "Ambien sure works fast on infants. EJ, I wish you would watch your tongue around our son."

EJ says, "I want to know why he touched you and said 'baby.'"

"He was just commenting on my mental level," says Sami. She changes the subject back to something more pleasant — the fact that she almost got blown away a couple of hours ago. This sends Sami into one of her sobbing spirals of self-pity, "What am I gonna do? Allie may may be applying for college the next time I see her, next week, so pardon me for being a little flipped out."

Chloe comes in and watches the drama queen in action, "I see you're still here milking it for all it's worth." Sami accuses Chloe of insensitivity.

EJ wants an answer to his question, "I want to know what Johnny meant earlier when he said 'baby.'"

Sami says, "He's just learning new words." Roman chimes in and tells them it's about time for Sami to leave.

Nicole bounces Pookie around, "So someone took a potshot at Sami. If EJ is holding that little twit's hand while I'm standing here growing stretch marks, I swear I'm going to shoot them both."

Pookie rolls her eyes, "Shoot me along with them, please."

Chelsea whines and rambles, "It's not fair. I mean, I knew she was sick but we were just too preoccupied with our own little issues. I wonder if it's too late."

Prevuze

A knock interrupts Melanie's bout with pyromania. She opens the door to find, who else, Nick. Nick sniffs, "I smell smoke, what's going on?"

She tells him she doesn't smell anything, "If there were a problem an alarm would have gone off."

He says he came up because he was worried about her, "I saw your last blog." More sniffing, "I swear I smell smoke." Melanie "confesses" to having a cigarette. Nick won't judge, "Can I do anything for you?"

"I'm fine," insists Melanie, "I think I'll live." The audience boos.

Nick notices the bags sitting on her bed, "Going somewhere?

Melanie says, "Yeah. I'm getting the hell out of Salem."

Prevuze

Roman tells Sami it's time to go. We have a tear-jerking goodbye. Sami supplies the tears, Lucas and EJ supply the jerk. EJ pries Johnny from Sami's hands. Smoochie. He and Roman go outside. Lucas grabs Allie. Sami tells him to take care of her. "You know I will," vows Lucas. Sami leaves. Lucas and Chloe stuff Allie in her crib and hit the shower.

Outside Roman tries to encourage Sami. He motions his man Friday to take her to the patrol car and warns her not to take chances, "You are to have no contact with anyone, especially EJ DiMera."

Melanie says being in Salem isn't working for her. Nick says running away will only make her look more guilty. He wants to help her, "If you let me, I will defend and protect you. I care about you. There is a connection here. I know you feel it. I will (say it with him) be there for you."

Melanie asks, "Are you wanting to get serious with me?"

Lucas stuffs Allie in the next room and he and Chloe snuggle up together. Chloe thinks he's sad Sami is gone. Lucas says he's sad, but for the kids' sake. Chloe admits to being happy Sami is gone, "Are you hedging your bet on this, Lucas? I think you are heartbroken Sami is gone and you hate me for being glad."

Nicole gorges on ice cream. EJ walks in. Nicole gets trés sarcastic, "Oh, the face looks familiar. Let's see... it's... it's... EJ! Yes, you're the guy whose baby I'm having." She lectures him for running to Sami.

EJ consults the Guy Manual and reads, "It's not about the other woman; it's about your son."

"I wanted to make sure Johnny was safe," says EJ.

Nicole immediately changes her tune and apologizes for being so snarky, "Where is the little guy now?"

"He fell asleep in the car so I carried him upstairs and put him to bed."

Nicole moves in, "Hmmm... maybe I should take you upstairs and get you into bed."

"Wow," thinks EJ, "That book is worth its weight in gold."

He declines and tells her about the sniper, "I want to go for a walk to clear my mind."

"That won't get you to the edge of the property," says Nicole. He asks Nicole if she will watch Johnny while he is gone. Nicole agrees, "If Sami can do it, how hard can it be, right?" EJ leaves. Johnny immediately starts crying. Nicole makes a face and heads upstairs.

Roman escorts Sami into the safehouse. "Well," says Sami, "At least it has indoor plumbing. That's a step up form the Horton cabin." Roman gives his man Darryl instructions, he and Sami share a hug and Roman leaves.

"When do we eat," asks Sami, "I'm ready for a steak."

"Sorry," says Darryl, "I'm a vegan."

"I'm a Catholic," says Sami.

"I don't eat anything with eyes," says Darryl, "So here's the drill: I do the shopping after I get a backup. You never go anywhere."

"Not even the mall," whines Sami, "You mean I'm stuck here alone with a vegan?"

"That's about the size of it."

The sniper stalks.

WARNING: THE SURGEON GENERAL RECOMMENDS THE MUTE BUTTON FOR THE NEXT SEGMENT OF THE SHOW.

Johnny cries and cries and cries and cries. Nicole and Pookie deal with the situation. Nicole sings a lullaby, "Rooooocccckkkk a bye baaaabbbbyy..." Johnny's crying sounds better. He goes into high gear and starts wailing. He's Sami's kid all right. Nicole picks him up, "PeeeeeUuuuuu! There is a little surprise in here." She sticks Johnny out at arms-length and carries him to the incinerator.

YOU MAY NOW UN-MUTE YOUR SET. OH, WAITAMINUTE, LUCAS IS TALKING SO YOU MAY WANT TO LEAVE IT ON MUTE.

Lucas insists he isn't hedging his bet. Chloe lectures, "I'm tired of being the bad guy while you act noble and mature."

"I'm good at acting noble and mature," says Lucas, "Being noble and mature is a whole different ballgame."

Lucas tells her he feels the same way she does about Sami, "The woman has driven me nuts my whole life."

That's the one thing she's been very successful at," says Chloe.

Things calm down as they both agree they are delighted Sami is out of the picture. "Yeah," says Chloe, "But what happens when they catch the sniper next week and she comes back."

"I don't think she'll be back for a long time," says Lucas.

Chloe suddenly finds a clue, "GASP! So Sami is using protective custody to keep her secret from EJ!"

Darryl pulls out a cigar and asks Sami if she minds if he smokes. Sami is indignant and tells him she's allergic to things like cigars, cigarettes and the truth, "Vegetables and a cigar? Yuck. I don't want to be alone."

Darryl pulls out his handcuffs, "These will calm you down." Sami backs off. "I'll be right outside," says Darryl.

He leaves. Sami pats her tummy, "You and me, kid."

Nick and Melanie come into the Java Café. She giggles and says she was just teasing him when she asked if he was getting serious. She appreciates his friendship. They start working up the master plan for her escape. She asks about his biodiesel plan and says if he can come up with something like that she knows he has to be smart. Nick vows to use his brainpower to get her out of this jam. Melanie leaves.

Chelsea sees Nick across the room and goes over to him.

Nicole has changed Johnny's diaper. More crying, so she brings him a glass of milk, hands it to him, bends down and smiles.

SPEW!

Nicole stands there drenched in milk as Johnny giggles. Well, at least something cheered him up. Nicole slowly and calmly walks out into the hall and softly shuts the door.

SCREAM!

Melanie comes back out and Chelsea starts to leave. Nick stops her but she tells him she realizes they aren't as close as they once were.

Melanie walks up and Chelsea chirps, "Having fun with my former boyfriend?"

"Just having fun, period," says Melanie, "He's nice."

"Nice but naïve," says Chelsea, "He doesn't see you for the scheming bitch that you are."

EJ walks in and finds Nicole asleep with Johnny and Pookie playing on her lap.

Chloe vows not to tell anyone Sami's secret. Lucas tells her Sami keeping him from Will is a bad memory. Chloe rants against Sami. Lucas thinks Sami would change her behavior since the only one who gets hurt by it is Sami.

Sami discovers an envelope in her purse, "How did this get in here?"

Nick umpires the spat between Chelsea and Melanie. Chelsea gets in a last shot, "Poor Melanie, I guess that's what happens when you murder your own father. You're quite the little topic around town."

Not to be outdone, Melanie has her own comeback, "I heard you hit your brother and left him on the road to die."

A referee tosses a yellow flag and charges them both with unsportsmanlike conduct, "The penalties offset... play may continue."

Chelsea hauls off and...

SLAP!

She gets in Melanie's face, "Nick can't see you for who you are but I do. When I dated your brother Max everyone told him he deserved better. They were right but he deserves better than you." She turns to Nick, "I feel bad for you." Out she goes.

Nick makes excuses, "She's upset at me and taking it out on you." Melanie wants to go home. Nick wants to get her tea. He has her sit and promises to come up with a plan by tomorrow, "Everything will be Better. I promise." He leaves. Melanie searches the net on her phone for the first flight out of Salem.

Lucas comes out of the bedroom where he has gone in to make sure Allie is completely drugged and won't disturb them. Chloe tries to figure out a way to win Lucas over. Lucas says he can think of a way. Things develop.

Nicole wakes up and finds Johnny missing. She panics, screams and searches. She gets on her knees and looks under the couch. EJ steps up and looms over her, "Nicole, what have you done with my son?"

The blood drains from Nicole's face. "Just kidding," guffaws EJ. Nicole isn't particularly amused. EJ just can't pull off a practical joke like Lucas. He tells her about coming back and finding her asleep on the couch. Nicole tells him Johnny was a little angel. Smooching ensues. Nicole asks, "So, when is Sami coming back."

"Not for a very long time," says EJ.

Back at the safehouse, Sami goes through pictures of Johnny she found in the envelope, "EJ must've left these." Darryl comes back and asks about the photos. Sami says the photos were in her purse and tells him she figures EJ left them there for her.

"EJ DiMera," asks Darryl. He takes the pictures and searches her suitcase to make sure EJ didn't plant a tracking device.

Crackling sounds from outside interrupt his search. Darryl goes outside to check on things.

Scuzzo the sniper is on the phone, "She's disappeared. Dropped out of sight. I'll find her and this time she won't get away."

A DOUBLE FADEOUT SHOT OF SAMI AND SCUZZO! OMG! WE HAVEN'T HAD AN ARTSY DOUBLE FADEOUT IN AGES! OH! THE DRAMA! OH THE ARTWORK! IF A DOUBLE FADEOUT DOESN'T BRING YOU BACK MONDAY, NOTHING WILL!

Prevuze

Previews
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14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the recaps!

So just how big are the grins on Lucas' and EJ's faces when they say "Sami will be gone for a long time."? Mine's huge!

4:21 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

EJ says, "I want to know why he touched you and said 'baby.'"

"He was just commenting on my mental level," says Sami.

I bet she's blubbering like a baby, too.

"I see you're still here milking it for all it's worth." Sami accuses Chloe of insensitivity.

I would accuse Chloe of being accurate.

Pookie rolls her eyes, "Shoot me along with them, please."

I'm with Pookie on this one.

Chloe lectures, "I'm tired of being the bad guy while you act noble and mature."

"I'm good at acting noble and mature," says Lucas, "Being noble and mature is a whole different ballgame."

With that astute observation, Prevuze once again goes yard!!!

Sami is in hiding with a cigar smoking vegan. Geez...vegan and cigar are pretty much contradictory terms. Now let's move to the next level of improbability...Sami is thinking about a steak instead of flipping out over being separated from her children. This is after Roman tells her she cannot contact anyone. As if! I'm not Sami Brady, and I would be going nuts under those circumstances.

It appears the comment box has once again disappeared. I hope I am posting in the most Prevuze-friendly manner. Prevuze, thanks for another TGIF installment of Daze!

5:25 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Great Prevuze on a Friday morning!! So much snarkiness, I don't know where to start, so I'll start with a couple of semi "HUH?" moments.

EJ says, "I want to know why he touched you and said 'baby.'"
C'mon, EJ, what does the kid have to do -- draw you a picture? If he doesn't notice Sami is pregnant after that not-so-subtle hint, he's either dumber or blinder than I thought!!!

He asks Nicole if she will watch Johnny while he is gone.
Now, Nicole has no kids, she's never been around kids, none of her husbands have had kids (that we're sure of, anyhow), so why, as the Brits would say, "in bloody hell" would EJ go off and leave his precious son in her care???? She'd be most likely to give him a doggie biscuit and lock him in his crate!

My favorite Prevuze-ism for today:
He declines and tells her about the sniper, "I want to go for a walk to clear my mind."
"That won't get you to the edge of the property," says Nicole.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I also liked the surgeon general's warnings -- I think I'll heed them.

Thanks, Prevuze!

6:44 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

BTW, I also loved the "nuttier than squirrel poop" description. I think I'm going to start using that comparison in my daily life!!

6:46 AM  
Anonymous Klaus said...

EJ says, "I want to know why he touched you and said 'baby.'"
My cousin once called me a cup, I didn't badger everyone around me. Not so good writing. :(

"If there were a problem an alarm would have gone off."
What beautiful logic.

"If Sami can do it, how hard can it be, right?"
Again, beautiful logic. And what's with EJ leaving his kid with whomever is available? Stefano and Nicole?

"I'm tired of being the bad guy while you act noble and mature."
Then she should stop being bitchy and act noble and mature.

Lucas thinks Sami would change her behavior since the only one who gets hurt by it is Sami.
Really? just the other day he was going on about how this decision affects EVERYONE!11! ('cept Will).

"I heard you hit your brother and left him on the road to die."
Goddamn. Melanie just escalated beyond awesome.

Chelsea throws out a rumor but get's superbly angry when Melanie replies with a fact? lmao

6:49 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Great idea, Cfish. But I think the Samster is going to need a much bigger purse to pull that off.

One of the best Prevuisms today was in a photo caption - …nuttier than squirrel poop. Where do you guys come up with this stuff??

Nick and Melanie come into the Java Café. She giggles and says she was just teasing him when she asked if he was getting serious.

Oh, Prevuze! Where was your warning about a mute button? It’s either that or the zapper for me whenever Melanie and her scary teeth make an appearance.

A DOUBLE FADEOUT SHOT OF SAMI AND SCUZZO! OMG! WE HAVEN'T HAD AN ARTSY DOUBLE FADEOUT IN AGES! OH! THE DRAMA! OH THE ARTWORK! IF A DOUBLE FADEOUT DOESN'T BRING YOU BACK MONDAY, NOTHING WILL!

Whoa, there Prevuze. Step back. Take a deep breath. You’ve definitely been watching DOOL too long if you get this excited about a double fadeout.

But then, better the Prevuze crew than me! LOLOL Have a great weekend everyone!

6:53 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

If Johnny is pointing out Sami's baby it's probably because they have her, Nicole, and every woman that's ever been pregnant on this or any soap walking around holding their stomach and talking to it even if they're one week along. One of the most annoying soapisms ever!!

I'm still laughing over the Marlena picture. Any normal man would've been begging to go to Stefano's lab for some relief from her and her looney kids decades ago! HAHAHAHA

Other LOL moments: Trent's bar order and "waitaminute - Lucas is talking so you may want to leave it on mute."

Prevuze, you've done it again. Gotten us thru another dragging DOOL week and into the weekend! Thanks for the laughs. TGIP!

7:32 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

I'm not Sami Brady, and I would be going nuts under those circumstances.

A trip Sami made long ago.

8:28 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

I'm not Sami Brady, and I would be going nuts under those circumstances.
A trip Sami made long ago.


Unfortunately, dragging most of us along with her...

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When Johnny touched Sami's belly and said, Baby, it showed a round baby bump there, so no way anyone would not have known what was going on. I hate when DOOL makes their characters so stupid.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Loved that comment about being nuttier than squirrel's poop.

11:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

I hate when DOOL makes their characters so stupid.

And I, little devil that I am, love it. It gives us more material to work with.

11:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will the stupidity ever end? Sami said the twins could draw her pictures and send them to her. Now, that's just hilarious. When Ej. asked what's Johnny trying to tell him when he said "Baby," well, either he can use those artist skills his mother thinks he has and draw a picture of a baby or he's just been healed by a televanglist and can now hear and repeat the word, " Baby."
I like how Melanie is setting herself up. She's giving Bo information that he didn't even mention that he knew about. She was upset and said " just cause I was in the cemetery that night...". Uh, Hon...nobody said anything about you being in the cemetery. Watchith your moutheth. I like how she is shooting herself in the foot and Bo just stands there grinning. I'm still not 100% convinced she did it. I think there was a scuffle, she was knocked out on the Willow Stark memorial rock, the killer showed up, used her knife to stab the old man and when she came to, there was this corpse with her knife in his back. ORRRR, it possibly was Melanie and she'll just keep throwing out that cutsey, pootsey spoiled little rich girl charm and set someone else up for the murder. Either way, I just want her gone. I hate how she rarely looks people in the eye when she talks to them. It's creepy, like she's got her eyes rolling around the room like she's on drugs and those teeth. My Lord!! That girls got 66 teeth!! There's so many of them she can't ever shut her mouth.
I've started fast forwarding through the Sami crying scenes. I've had enough of her gasping for air, holding it in and pruning up her face. For crying out loud, cry or don't cry, just stop holding your breath.

1:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If Ej does not find out about Sami and her pregnancy before she goes into the witness propection plan,and the show turns into the Ej Nicole show until AS is back from maternity leave, I will not be watching DOOl. I have watched the show for 35 years without fail but I will if it turns into the Ej and Nicole show. I know quite a few people who feel the same way. Gives us Ejami asap or lose us.

5:21 PM  

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