Monday, August 04, 2008

Dracula Never Wakes Up In A Good Mood

Note: In today's episode, the gratuitous shirtless hunk will be played by Jay Kenneth Johnson in the role of Phillip Kiriakis.

Gay Marseilles! Isn't so gay at the moment. Melanie wants to know who put Max up to this, "Whatever they say, none of it's true." Max says he found out about her from Trent, his father. She wants to know why he was out of touch for so long.

"I'm always out of touch," says Max, "But it's not that unusual." He gives her his life history, which is unusual. Melanie is skeptical. Max shows her the picture of himself and Mommy. She's not convinced, so he shows her his Winnie the Poo tattoo.

Melanie asks, "Why didn't my dad tell me about you? I'm gonna call him."

Max yells, "No, you can't do that. Roaming charges may apply."

Phillip invites Hope in and tells her he has checked himself out of the hospital. He says he knows his mom wouldn't be too happy about that.

John comes downstairs, "Where are you Ava? Ava? Bueller? " He discovers the 'Dear John' letter and reads, "By the time you read this I'll be miles away..." The cheering audience drowns out most of the rest of it. John stares into space, "It's a big mistake, Ava."

The doorbell interrupts his trance. Marlena comes in and says, "I came to warn you. Stefano's had a seizure. He could be coming out of the coma. And as of tomorrow, I'll be vacationing at Lake Tanganyika."

Salem Hospital! The only people who walk out alive are the ones who were wheeled in dead. Tony and EJ are in Stefano's room discussing his situation as Kayla attends to him, "My brain is beginning to percolate," says Tony.

"I hope your thought process is better than the hospital coffee," says EJ. Tony is worried Stefano will seek revenge on those who put him in the state hospital.

Phillip offers Hope some lemonade. Hope tells him this isn't a social visit. She rants about having to protect her husband and Phillip apologizes but rationalizes, "Protecting family is honorable. Bo will be fine."

Hope snaps, "What if the truth comes out?"

"He'll lose his job and family and they'll put him away forever," says Phillip, "No big deal. But that tape was destroyed."

"You don't know what other evidence is out there," says Hope, "They might find Paul's body covered with donut dust." Phillip claims he never had any intention of hurting Paul. He thinks John is responsible.

John wants to know how this is possible. Marlena says she underestimated Stefano's strength when she injected him. She knows Stefano will accuse her and also be upset with John for taking his empire.

John asks, "You're still my wife?"

Marlena smiles, "Yes!"

"Then," says John, "We can't testify against each other."

Marlena's smile melts like one of Phillip's plastic parts in the hot sun, "I don't think there will be a trial."

"There may be after I kill him," says John.

Tony figures there might be permanent damage, "But it could be Stefano is up to something evil as we speak."

"If that's the case," says EJ, "We'd better get a bedpan under him right away."

Melanie wants answers and she says she will either get them from Max or Daddy. Max says he's there to track down his long lost sister, which leaves out a few details. Melanie decides she likes the idea of a big brother who shells out money for her. She also figures Trent wouldn't be happy about him meeting her. Stephanie walks in. Max introduces her. Stephanie is soooo glad to finally meet Melanie, whom she just knows must be very special.

"Me," exclaims Melanie, "I'm just your average, normal everyday expatriate student doing Marseilles and blogging about it.

Suddenly a bunch of starstruck groupies run up and ask Max for his autograph, "Oooo, Monsieur Max Bradee... when weel you race again?"

"Don't hold you're breath," says Max.

"We understand zat iz vhat zee ozzer drivers have to do vhen you are on zee track." They run off squealing.

Melanie gasps, "You're Max Brady the racecar driver! I thought you looked familiar. Tres cool!"

Marlena says, "We will deal with Stefano's latest return from the dead in a law abiding way."

John drones, "You mean like you did?" A referee steps in and gives John a game misconduct penalty.

"I couldn't see any other way to neutralize him," says Marlena. John heads for the hospital, "If you want a job done right, do it yourself." Marlena begs him not to go, but John leaves.

Marlena finds the 'Dear John' letter. She reads, "There is no evidence linking me to the plane crash, other than witnesses, so I have to disappear. I love you, I know we tried to keep it light but there it is. I'm always thinking of you. Stay happy in your new skin. You deserve it. Ava." Marlena folds the letter, "Drat the bad luck." She calls Roman and tells him Ava has flown the coop.

Tony doesn't know why he's so upset at the possibility of Stefano waking up. In fact, he thinks experiences like this can change people, "Maybe he'll wake up and throw a party! Oh, who am I kidding, Dracula never wakes up in a good mood." Tony advises EJ to rethink working for John.

EJ thinks maybe Stefano will be happy to have someone to keep an eye on John, "He has our birthright. I'm not happy about that." Tony is certain Stefano will want to take back his empire.

Kayla walks in, "That's a terrifying thought."

Stefano thinks, "Not as terrifying as knowing you are my doctor."

Tony backpedals. Kayla says Stefano's brain scan shows activity. "I want Lexie to take a look at it and see what she thinks. After all, she's the real doctor around here."

Stefano overhears, "Just shoot me now."

John comes in, "I heard the old bastard might be waking up."

Phillip insists John is behind this. He wants to know if Hope is investigating John. Hope says she isn't at liberty to discuss the case. They proceed to discuss the case.

John slowly wanders up to Stefano's bed, leans down and whispers, "What are you plotting now?" He also notices Stefano hasn't lost any weight in his coma, "They must be feeding you the mashed potato and gravy I-V."

Kayla says, "John, he might hear you." John asks if Stefano will regain consciousness.

"He might, he might not," says Kayla.

"Is that your medical opinion or did you flip a coin," asks John.

"If he does come to," says Kayla, "he might not remember anyone."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," says John.

Kayla says, "There is also a possibility he is deteriorating."

"I don't know about Stefano," says John, "But this show sure is."

Kayla asks Tony to stop by the nurses' station and sign some papers. EJ tags along.

Outside, Tony leaves to call Anna. Nicole shows up. She just had to see EJ. Hugs. EJ tells her about Stefano's seizure. He says Stefano might be waking up, but it also might be the beginning of the end. Nicole is sorry to hear that. EJ doesn't know what to think about all this. His father was an imposing figure and for the first time he thought he was beginning to be his own man, "If he wakes up there will be hell to pay."

"How will you feel about that if he does wake up?"

"I will be devastated."

Melanie asks, "Why don't you race any more?"

"Racecars are expensive and I kept breaking them," says Max.

Stephanie tries to work her way into the conversation. Melanie's claws spring out like a switchblade. She flashes her teeth and meows, "I was talking to my brother!" She puts the claws away and turns back to Max, "Are you B-list or C-list?"

"What comes after Z-list," asks Max.

Stephanie chimes in, "Being a celebrity isn't all it's cracked up to be."

SPROING! The claws make another appearance.

Max explains about Stephanie was a racer, too.

"Really," hisses Melanie, "You don't look familiar at all." Caroline calls Max and he leaves to take the call.

Stephanie sings Max' praises, "He's a genius, gorgeous, and has a gigantic giving heart. But he's not perfect. Sometimes he's way off when it comes to judging people."

"Maybe he shouldn't judge," says Melanie, "That's what they told me in Sunday school, that one time I wandered in by mistake." Stephanie asks her about George. Melanie says she isn't interested in him as she gets a call from Trent. She tells him she has been too busy to answer his calls, "Daddy, I hate to ask..."

"How much..."

"Well," says Melanie, "there was this nun collecting for her mission in Africa. I gave her my whole allowance."

Trent says he will wire a wad to her account. She tells him her study partner just got there. Trent tells her to hold off before she hangs up. He wants a few details on her life there, "Have you met any new, interesting people?"

"New yes. Interesting, no."

Morgan pours a glass of lemonade. Phillip says, "Thanks, Henderson."

Morgan drawls, "Do I look like Henderson to you?"

Phillip looks up, "No, he could never pull off that outfit, unless he wore his stiletto heels with it."

Morgan says, "I released Henderson of his duties. I'm gonna be takin' care of you whether you like it or not."

Phillip says, "You released Henderson? After you bring me a drink, you can mop the floors and wash the dishes."

Prevuze

Marlena stares into Stefano's room. She sneaks in and walks up to his bed.

GRAB!

Marlena screams. Stefano growls, "You're not gonna get away with this, Marlena!"

Marlena snaps out of her fantasy. John walks up behind her and she jumps out of her skin. Wrinkles and all.

John tells her not to interfere. Marlena insists she will not let him kill Stefano. He promises it will be quick and clean and they won't be able to trace it back to him.

Trent comes up to Nicole. He says he's there because he's on the faculty and they meet there on occasion. He demands to know what she's found out about Max' trip to France. She tells him to have patience. Trent says, "I need to track him down before... never mind." Nicole gets sassy. He tells her to keep a civil tongue or he will talk to Victor.

"OMG," gasps Nicole, "How long have you known?"

"Since the beginning," he sneers, "He would be upset to find out you defrauded him out of a huge divorce settlement when you had never been legally married. Just follow my instructions."

Max thanks Melanie for not telling Trent he is there. Melanie says she has Trent eating out of the palm of her hand. Max says he's there to get to know her better. She excuses herself to go fix her makeup.

Stephanie jumps in, "She really is a piece of work."

"She's just a kid," insists Max. Stephanie isn't impressed. She tells him about the nun story. Max thinks any way she can hurt Trent the better.

"Wait till she hits you up for money," says Stephanie.

Max stammers, "Uh... there already was a... situation. I get it... she's out to get what she can, but please cut her some slack." Stephanie will try.

Melanie comes back, but sees a group of officers across the room, "Oh hell!"

Morgan rubs Phillip's back with lotion. Phillip turns over, "Now that my shoulders are done you have permission to move on to other areas."

"Such as?"

"Use your imagination."

"I believe you need some ice water," says Morgan.

EJ interrupts Nicole and Trent's conversation. He asks for a chat with his client. He takes her aside and they talk loud enough for the new arrivals in the morgue to hear them. "I got the information you were looking for," whisper-shouts EJ, "Max is in France hanging out with some old racing buddies."

Nicole points a bull horn at Trent, "Oh, EJ, how can I repay you?"

"When you get the bill," screams EJ, "write a check." He thanks her and leaves. Nicole goes back over to Trent. For some strange reason, she thinks he might have overheard the conversation. Trent says he's satisfied for the moment. "Good," snorts Nicole, "Go away."

John and Marlena stare at Stefano. "I don't condone murder," says St. Marlena, "Just permanent comas."

John asks, "What's the difference between being dead and being in a permanent coma?"

Marlena says, "On this show more people come back from the dead. Just ask Jan Spears."


John tires to help her rationalize her actions. Marlena insists she had to do what she did. John says he is grateful for what she did. Marlena smiles, "Somebody had to care for you. I guess Ava is doing that now."

"Not exactly," says John, "Things have changed. I don't have any problem eliminating this new problem. You don't need to know the details."

The officers seize Melanie. They drag her out screaming. Max and Stephanie chase.

Phillip moves in. Morgan stops him. She's worried about his gunshot wound, "Dr. Johnson says you can't strain yourself."

Phillip was unaware Kayla was one of his doctors. He checks to make sure he still has both kidneys. "Do what I say," warns Morgan, "and we'll get along just fine." Phillip moves in for another kiss. Morgan backs away.

Marlena goes into Stefano's room. She leans over him, "It's Marlena. I'm not sure how that stroke affected you but I'm guessing you can hear me. Do you remember what I did to you? I want you to know something. I would do it again in a heartbeat."

Now that he knows Marlena isn't the brightest bulb on the tree, Stefano opens his eyes. He stares at a blurry Marlena. His machines beep out of control. Kayla rushes in and yanks the plug, "There that should stop that annoying beeping."

Stefano thinks, "Prepare yourselves. I will have my revenge!"


Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website. Prevuze II should be up no later than noon, Eastern Time.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Leslie said...

Max shows her the picture of himself and Mommy. She's not convinced, so he shows her his Winnie the Poo tattoo.

I hope it’s not on his butt.

John stares into space, "It's a big mistake, Ava."

No it isn’t. Good riddance.

Tony is worried Stefano will seek revenge on those who put him in the state hospital.

You think? We, the audience, are counting on it. First target…pompous, annoying, self-righteous Marlena.

Marlena says, "We will deal with Stefano's latest return from the dead in a law abiding way."

Ok, it now the pompous, annoying, self-righteous, hypocritical Marlena.

"He might, he might not," says Kayla.

"Is that your medical opinion or did you flip a coin," asks John.

"If he does come to," says Kayla, "he might not remember anyone."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," says John.

Kayla says, "There is also a possibility he is deteriorating."

"I don't know about Stefano," says John, "But this show sure is."


Dialogue points: Prevuze 3, DOOL 0

Stefano thinks, "Prepare yourselves. I will have my revenge!"

The Phoenix rises again!! I will be cheering for him to put Marlena’s butt in a sling. There’s a woman who deserves a piece of her own medicine. Thank you Prevuze for letting us know what was in Stefano’s feeding tube. His Depends must have been particularly gamy. I bet he was also keeping his muscles toned by working out on a recumbent bike. He’ll need to be in shape to just walk out of bed and begin to take out all his enemies.

Prevuze what a wonderful way to start a Monday morning!!! Thanks for the update!!!

5:41 AM  
Anonymous evilgenius said...

Yes, fancy coming to and not remembering anyone. As if.
Thanks for the laugh as usual.

6:15 AM  
Anonymous marykay said...

Kudos to Bulldog for the Chloe/Lucas joke. I laughed my ass off!

Chloe might decide it's a divine sign that they're meant to be together.

6:26 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Thanks, MaryKay!

I'm with you, Leslie. I hope Marlena gets hers. But I'm sure we'll get a double disappointment when Jawn turns back into Squints so he can save her from Stefano and somehow get her off the hook for what she did.

LOL over "Kayla walks in, "That's a terrifying thought."

Stefano thinks, "Not as terrifying as knowing you are my doctor."
Don't worry, Stef. They'll bring in Dr. Dan as he's probably a coma expert, too.

Also "What's beyond the Z-list?" HAHAHAHA No way would some former racecar driver from America have such rock star status over in France.

Thanks, Prevuze, for the Monday pick-me-up! :D

7:21 AM  
Anonymous LB said...

On the race car driver comment/incident -- I work in the sport and one reason quite a few of the drivers like vacationing in Europe is BECAUSE they don't get hounded over there and are able to relax with their families. And that's Jeff Gordon-status drivers. Not Max Brady, been out of the sport for several years-status drivers. But as with most other things, DOOL totally missed the boat on NASCAR. And the only reason they brought it in in the beginning was to pimp out NASCAR on NBC.

8:10 AM  
Anonymous Klaus said...

Jeff Gordon still gets hounded. My, I have not been paying attention. But keep in mind, Max was found by that paparazzi guy so he'd be in all the papers recently. But really the extra funny part is no one seemed to go "OMG Stephanie Brady!!".

So Ava's gone... just like that? Just like that.

I have tried to tolerate Marlena, sometimes I like her, other times... What is it with this "You can't do anything illegal no matter what but I can 'cause it's an emergency!!" thing. Blah!

I think Stefano came around too early, I mean it would have been more sense for him to come out of his coma when John was a thorn in everybody's side.

I lol'd over Tony. In a DnD sense the man is clearly Chaotic Neutral.

I wonder what place Daniel will have in this. And why hasn't he cured Theo, the man is getting quite lazy imo.

And yes Bulldog, excellent picture.

8:42 AM  
OpenID nolebucgrl said...

[quote]
Tony is worried Stefano will seek revenge on those who put him in the state hospital.

You think? We, the audience, are counting on it. First target…pompous, annoying, self-righteous Marlena. [/quote]

Truer words. I cannot begin to express my delight over the return of Stefano. I hope he goes after Marlena with both barrels and slaps her into a permanent coma (not death, death is not permanent enough on this show).

[quote]
I wonder what place Daniel will have in this. And why hasn't he cured Theo, the man is getting quite lazy imo. [/quote]

Hee, yes Dr. Perfect is dropping the ball, what's up with that? I'm shocked they didn't have him discover Stefano's drugging, but perhaps he is too busy working on all of Chelsea's family members, both in and out of the hospital. Go Date!

9:13 AM  
Anonymous doubleindemnity said...

is it wrong to hope that the writers just do us all a favor and let stefano kill marlena off once and for all?

11:19 AM  
OpenID nolebucgrl said...

[quote]

is it wrong to hope that the writers just do us all a favor and let stefano kill marlena off once and for all?
[/quote]

It it's wrong, I don't wanna be right. I'm so ready for that hypocritical biotch to die.

11:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it wrong to hope that Dr Perfect will turn Dentist and fix Caroline's teeth so they stay in her head?

12:17 PM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Dang I wish I could have gotten to Prevuze earlier today. Sure would have helped jump-start my declining brain cells.

Salem Hospital! The only people who walk out alive are the ones who were wheeled in dead.

I have a poor little intern sitting outside my office, starting her first day here. She probably thinks she is now working in a nut-house. I squealed like a lunatic when I got to that remark.

A real HUH?! moment:
Kayla says Stefano's brain scan shows activity. "I want Lexie to take a look at it and see what she thinks. After all, she's the real doctor around here." Stefano overhears, "Just shoot me now."

Stephano has been able to understand everything that’s going on around him all along. Why haven’t brain scans shown anything before?

Max explains about Stephanie was a racer, too. "Really," hisses Melanie, "You don't look familiar at all."

That’s because when she was racing she was older, smarter and a red-head. Now she’s a young, dumb, brunette.

Melanie sounds like she might have possibilities as an interesting character.

Thanks, Prevuze.

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Lily Luna said...

Wow, some of you guys hate Marlena, don't you? Well, I suppose you have the fans and the haters for every character. I can't judge.

You see, ideally, Stefano would fling a syringe at Marlena and Philip would throw Chloe in front of her so that Chloe gets the full blast. Though I don't think there's much brain activity going on there to begin with.

I think you guys have to admit that even with her faults and slight arrogance, Marlena is a hell of a lot more substantial than most of the riffraff we've endured on this show: i.e. Ava, Philip, Brandon Beemer as Shawn Brady, Morgan.... *sighs*.

In any case, I loved the coma comments. So true. I'm sure there are at least three Daze characters who are still in comas.

I loved RoboJohn, but he's wearing on me now. He's still kind of funny w/ his one-liners; he just creeps me out too much. I hope he becomes Romantic John, or "Squints" as bulldog says (which I sooo true), soon and rescues his Doc :)

Here's to Salem medical incompetence! Surpassed only by that of the staff (comprised solely of Dr. Eve Russell) in Harmony. R.I.P. Passions....

11:43 AM  

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