Wednesday, February 27, 2008

YOU PERVERT!

The OMB wake is in full swing. It's as dull as watching DOOL without medication. Nick schmoozes with Maggie and Chelsea, "This is exactly what he would have wanted – the pub filled to the rafters with a bunch of depressed drunks." Maggie reminds us that the funeral was a somber occasion in memory of OMB but the good ole Irish wake is a time to celebrate his life with mirth, merriment and rampant, uncontrolled inebriation. It also gives Prevuze license to make all kinds of inappropriate remarks about the dearly departed.

Over across the room, Patch says, "He was a good dude. Let's celebrate that." The good dude rating is the Steve Johnson equivalent of the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.

EJ tells Sami he feels out of place there. Sami tells him to tough it out.

Hope and Bo argue about taking Bo to the hospital. Hope gives up on arguing with Bo and moves over to Patch, "Bo's not doing well. Please keep an eye on him."

"One is all I've got," says Patch. Ava stalks.

Caroline wishes OMB were there. "We'd need more air freshener," says Roman.

Tony arrives at his office. He leers at his secretary and throws compliments. He tells her she can leave early today and asks her to call him Tony instead of Mr. DiMera. She gives him the Blackwell file and he asks about the Lumberg Agency. Gal Friday doesn't know anything about Lumberg, so Tony says he will take care of it himself.

Anna arrives in her office over at the aforementioned Lumberg Agency and sighs. She answers the phone and a nasty guy asks if she's brought in any clients. If she doesn't get anyone they'll be out of business. She promises to show Tony DiMera how to run an ad company.

Kimberly makes the first smarmy OMB toast. Roman follows with another. The crowd gets into the poetic Irish refrain. They all act like they actually know the endless poem and take turns with verses. They wind up in unison and Roman raises his glass, "To Pop!"

A drunk in the back of the room yells, "To beer! "

Anna calls Mr. Lumberg and says she's discovered the DiMera Agency has already snatched up their prospective clients. Her big strategy is to run over and check out the DiMera operation. Lumberg doesn't answer. He probably had a heart attack on the spot when he heard her brilliant strategy.

Tony barks orders into the phone. He hangs up, "This just doesn't seem right without you, Anna. You should be working with me." He chuckles and runs out. As he rushes past, he tells his secretary he's taking Anna to lunch. The secretary calls and makes reservations at the Nooner Smorgasbord.

Caroline and Kimberly get together and chat. Think of it as a plastic surgery gone-bad smackdown.

Bo thinks they should be celebrating. He still is stewing over the fact that OMB gave his life for him. Suddenly, he starts heaving like he just ate a Sami Brady home-cooked breakfast. Hope screams for Patch, "Steve, I need to get him to the hospital right away."

Patch says, "Go get the car. I'll bring him out."

Patch hauls Bo out of his chair, "How you doin' dude?"

"Never better."

On his way out, Bo assures Kimberly he's fine. She offers to cancel her flight. He urges her not to. They agree not to wait for another death until they see each other again. Out goes Bo as the crowd stares.

Tony arrives at the Lumberg Agency carrying flowers. He knocks on Anna's door but there is no answer. He goes into the empty office and sets the flowers on her desk. He tries out her chair, looks at her legal pad and chuckles.

Meanwhile, Anna goes through the same routine in Tony's office. Sans flowers.

Hope and Patch load the pile of flesh formerly known as Bo into the car. Bo asks Hope to stay and cover for him with Caroline. Hope reluctantly agrees. Hope turns and hugs patch as Ava stalks and takes pictures.

Kayla suggests Caroline stay with her and Patch for a while. Caroline declines.

John and Chloe decide they aren't having fun. Chloe thinks anyone there who looks like he is having fun is just covering the pain with alcohol. "Covering pain is something I need to do a little more of," says John, as he slugs one down.

Kimberly wonders if she should stay and help. Hope says, "There is nothing you can do. The damage to your face has already been done." She wishes Kimberly a safe flight and rushes over to Lexie. Dr. Lexie Carver, Chief of Staph, goes into action. Hope follows.

Max tells Roman he misses OMB. Roman says, "I miss him, too, baby brother."

Outside, Ava walks up to Hope, "I think it's time we met. Do you love him?"

"Who?"

"Steve Johnson," says Ava, "Do you love him?"

"When he's sober."

Tony leaves a note on Anna's legal pad, "My Dearest Anna. I came by today. No one was in the office. It's apparent your work force takes the same breaks as you. Why don't you join forces with me at DiMera Advertising?"

Meanwhile, Tony's secretary discovers Anna. Anna says, "Well, you must be Mr. DiMera's latest. I'm his ex."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. DiMera."

"I'm not just one of his ex -wives," says Anna, "I'm his ex secretary, too. He takes the word dictation to a whole new level. Has he given you the birth-control talk? I can't tell you how many assistants he's gotten pregnant. You'd think he'd get a vasectomy, but apparently the only ones he wants near his equipment are those working under him." Anna lays it on think, "I played the game, but after a month he fired me anyway. Then he married me. Then he divorced me. Can you beat that?"

Bo is in bed in his hospital room. He assures Patch he's OK. Patch decides to hang with Bo. Bo insists Kayla needs him and shoos him out.

Out in the hall, Patch tells the nurse to take good care of him. She goes in to hook him up to the monitors. Back inside Bo's room, the nurse finds him in cardiac arrest. Lexie runs in screaming for the crash cart.

Ava asks, "Do you love Steve?" Of course Hope loves him. Everybody loves loveable ole Patch. Once she has this valuable information, Ava hightails it.

EJ introduces himself to Kimberly. She gets all-indignant and starts to go. EJ asks her not to judge him because of his family. She says she judges him for what he did. EJ tells her he is soooooo sorry for all the sins he has committed. Kimberly says it takes a real man to admit his mistakes, and EJ's miraculous redemption continues right on schedule.

Kimberly tells Colleen she has to go. She offers to stay but Colleen says she doesn't have to do that. Hugs all around. Hugs and more hugs and off goes Kimberly until her next brief appearance.

Anna returns to her office and finds the flowers. She smiles until she finds Tony's note. She tears it up and huffs.

Tony returns to find his secretary packing. He wonders what she is doing. "When were you going to give me the birth control talk," asks Gal Friday.

"I would have thought you had that in sixth grade," says Tony.

"SIXTH GRADE," she screams, "YOU PERVERT!" She can't get out the door fast enough.

Lexie works on Bo. He comes back to life anyway.

Ava paces in her room and looks at pictures. She smooches a picture of Patch and moves through the rest of them: Belle, Chloe, Claire, Phillip, Kayla, OMB, John, Hope. She stops at Hope, "So you love Patch? BIG MISTAKE."

Hope bawls over Bo as Chelsea and Shawn rush in. Hope tells them he went into cardiac arrest.

"That's the first arrest he's had in months," says Shawn. Lexie comes in and announces the dreadful test results are in.

Patch tells Abe he has a name for him, "Ava Vitali V-I-T-A-L-I." He asks him to run it through the police computer as a favor.

"That's I-L-L-E-G-A-L," says Abe, "So you can count on me to do it." Patch is grateful for the favor.

Victor and Caroline share a tender moment. Caroline was in love with two men, but knew she had to build a life with one of them. Of course, you always have to test drive both before you decide.

Victor says, "Shawn gave his life for our son. Bo was more Shawn's son than mine."

Max goes into another maudlin toast-eulogy thingie, "Here's to pop. Now lets have this wake the way Pop would want it."

Anna goes through a stack of folders on her desk as Tony comes in. She sees him and huffs, "Well, I suppose..." Tony grabs her and roughs her up a bit. He kisses her and it looks like the Nooner Smorgasbord may be open for business.

Laughter in the pub. Belle tries another sappy toast-poem. The crowd is stunned she remembered all the words.

Roman tries one, "Some people say the glass is half-full. Some say it is half-empty. The Irish say, 'are you gonna drink that?'"

Phillip tries one. Then EJ tells them he has a couple of them but he can't repeat them. That does it. The crowd practically attacks him until he agrees to give his toasts. EJ relents, "So now, if you drink, right sure enough you'll get drunk. If you get drunk, you'll fall asleep. If you fall asleep, you can't sin. If you don't sin, you'll go to heaven... so let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

The crowd cheers. EJ has a million of 'em. "Why," he asks, "did God give the Irish whiskey." No one knows. "So they would stay on that bloody island and not conquer the world!" More cheers. The crowd must be really getting drunk.

Victor and Caroline try a couple of toasts. Everyone joins in. We all toast, then pan to the picture of Shawn over the bar... then to Caroline guzzling her booze. Such a touching tribute.

Lexie says Bo's pancreas is shutting down.

"What does that mean," asks Hope.

"Bye-bye-Bo."

Bo vegetates. Hope cries.

Meanwhile, across town, Doug and Julie sit tied up in chairs while the little snots trash the house...


Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

24 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

So Shawn's wake becomes all about EJ? How disgusting! Redeemed my ass! He's playing them all.

4:56 AM  
Anonymous Ellie said...

LOL! Great Prevuze! Love the cue card pic. And the toasts sound... interesting.

Too bad Doug and Julie get stuck with the 'obligatory' babysitting gig. I would have liked to see them there. :(

5:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Prevuze - LOL on Bo's first arrest in months! I hope they figure out what he has soon. The pancreas of my friend's daughter shut down - it no longer produces insulin, so she's diabetic. Yes, the pancreas does more than that, but will they mention any of it? (Hopefully they will.) Sounds like this Tony/Anna story may turn out to be good. I have no problem with EJ being redeemed, but telling jokes? I guess I'll have to wait and see! :)

5:39 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

At the pictures (especially the cue card one) I chuckled.

Caroline wishes OMB were there. "We'd need more air freshener," says Roman. I laughed.

Caroline and Kimberly get together and chat. Think of it as a plastic surgery gone-bad smackdown. I laughed until tears started running.

Too many great prevuisms to mention!

Kim hasn't been home for months. Her father dies and she come in for a day and a half? Doesn't even wait until the WAKE is over?? Why did they even bother?

That almost made my "TLT of the day". Until I got to the part where Ava (a perfect stranger) walks up to Hope and asks her if she loves Patch (Hope's brother-in-law). Perhaps Prevuze didn't include the entire exchange, but my response would have been "Who the heck are you and why do you want to know?" HAHAHA

Marvelous Prevuze as always. It will keep me going through my morning of meetings.

6:30 AM  
Blogger Senior Nav said...

"Kimberly tells Colleen she has to go. She offers to stay but Colleen says she doesn't have to do that. " Did we mean Caroline??? Or have they brought Colleen back already??

Mike

6:31 AM  
Blogger *Tricia* said...

ok so did no one else catch the "office space" reference here with Mr. Lumberg and Anna...the tps reports are due anna....aaaaaaand yeaaaaaaah were gonna have to move your desk to the brady pub! sorry!

classic...someone dies...lets get drunk and remember them fondly...with rapists leading the way...nice!...just like in real life!

6:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does James Scott have something on Corday? Why else would the raping bastard be front and center at the wake of a man whose family he take great delight in torturing?

Shame on Days! I guess I'd better call TK at AMC and see how to rid Salem of the problem.

7:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW you have a very sick person making comments on your site. "Does James Scott have something on Corday? Why else would the raping bastard be front and center at the wake of a man whose family he take great delight in torturing?" Apparently they don't have the mental capacity to distinguish an actor from the character they play.SCAREY. Poor James having to put up with lunatics like that.

Thanks prevuze for the laughs though, great job as always. Did you realize that you referred to caroline as colleen? Kimberly tells Colleen she has to go. She offers to stay but Colleen says she doesn't have to do that.LOL guess those dead bodies are making the rounds.

I'm LOVING EJ"S redemption, he is finally seeing what it is like to be part of a real family.

7:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL...JS have something on Corday??? Seriously?!? I think it is that Corday just happens to see the enormous talent in James Scott and is making the RIGHT choice in redeeming such a great character, that is EJ! They are correcting the mistakes they made back in December 06 and I for one (and NUMEROUS others) LOVE it!! And for those who think the Wake sounds like it was all about EJ, that's just ridiculous. Obviously we all need to tune in to the show still but from what I just read I didn't get that at all. Seems they merely show EJ at the beginning feeling uncomfortable (like he didn't fit it)...then at the end of the show we see (or read =))him "fitting in" and feeling comfortable with the Brady family. If that's ALL about EJ, I fail to see it...suppose they shouldn't have shown Bo collapse either?
Oh, I am curious to watch the interaction between Hope & Ava, seems weird that Hope wouldn't question her, unless she was just confused b/c of Bo. Should be interesting. Tony/Anna s/l will likely be fun to watch!
Thanks Prevuze...look forward to reading every morning! =)

8:00 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

The damage has been done to her face already. Boy ain't that the truth!? Yikes! Sort of like poor Courtney Cox who was on Letterman last night. Due to her obvious lip injections she was actually having trouble talking.

Too bad the ones who could probably use a good stiff whiskey right now aren't at the pub. Poor Jugs and Doolie stuck at home with those kids.

Great Prevuisms and LOL over the cue card picture. I give Prevuze the highest Good Dude rating! :D

8:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Rid Salem of the problem?" Yikes!

I think it's time to up the meds Anonymous.

8:48 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Kimberly tells Colleen she has to go. She offers to stay but Colleen says she doesn't have to do that.

It appears that Prevuze still has Ireland on the brain and hoping for a better solution to that storyline.

Caroline was in love with two men, but knew she had to build a life with one of them. Of course, you always have to test drive both before you decide.

…sort of like Marlena, Belle, and Sami.

More cheers. The crowd must be really getting drunk.

I like to call it getting comfortably numb…been there, done that.

Over across the room, Patch says, "He was a good dude. Let's celebrate that." The good dude rating is the Steve Johnson equivalent of the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.

Very funny Prevuze!!!

Anna’s a real hoot and so is Prevuze!!!! Prevuze can even make a wake sound like fun!!!

9:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, I can't believe we have this issue being re-hashed again. Anon, do you even KNOW who Luke/Laura is???? What Luke did to Laura? Oh, my, they redeemed him.

Or how about THIS show, do you know who Jack is? Kayla? They redeemed Jack.

Or how about the "victim" Sami? Recall what went down btn her and Austin?

Things get writen for the show which "seemed" to fit then, and then they "rewrite" it or redeem them to make a newer story-line.

Don't confuse the actor's and owner's with the storylines. And for godsake, IT'S A SOAP.

---from the anon "GIVE IT A REST!"

9:55 AM  
Anonymous I challenge you to a DOOL said...

"Lexie works on Bo. He comes back to life anyway."

Brilliant.

Prevuze, have you considered expanding to reviewing and commenting on the news? I think The Daily Show or The Onion are in need of your services!

10:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the anonymous that left the rude inappropriate comments about James Scott. You're WAY out of line. Apparently, you can't tell the difference between the actor and the character. Shame on you for posting such a rude and inappropriate comments!!!

10:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think its obvious that anonymous meant EJ is the rapist not James Scott. I also think that she must be a big lumi fan but they should prepare themselves because this show has a whole string of redeemed rapists and EJ is about to join the club.

Kat

11:24 AM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...

I actually want to see this episode. I like the Irish rhymes and odes to drinking.

As to bad plastic surgery,it seems to be an epidemic, Patsy Pease, Priscilla Presley, Kenny Rogers, Joan Rivers and the king of it all, Michael Jackson. They all look like they are transforming into the cryptkeeper.

John and Chloe decide they aren't having fun. Chloe thinks anyone there who looks like he is having fun is just covering the pain with alcohol. "Covering pain is something I need to do a little more of," says John, as he slugs one down.---Good place to put a remark about painkillers---or is this DOOL's version of a public service announcement?

Trolls, every board has one.

11:26 AM  
Anonymous Klaus said...

Wow, aren't we feisty today. Anyways, I not an EJami fan, nor a Lumi fan. I couldn't care less about them, I am 'against' EJami because he 'negotiated' with her. I think is Jack is awesome, but I would be against Jack and Kayla. And any other 'Negotiators and clients' entering a permanent relationship.

Does James Scott have something on Corday? Why else would the raping bastard be front and center at the wake of a man whose family he take great delight in torturing?

This simply means that, the idea of EJ buddying it up with the Brady Clan, who he tortured and who in turn despised him is so ridiculous that James Scott must be pulling some sort of strings. I don't see how it could be interpreted as anything else, unless the interpreter purposely misread it to gain a 'one up'.

I'm not against an EJ redemption, but make him save a puppy or get shot protecting Caroline or a baby. I found the Caroline/EJ scenes incredibly retarded. "Hello man who raped my granddaughter!! You can change!!" My god, that was horrible.

I mean, Chloe, who may or may not have something to do with Brady's disappearance is getting a colder reception than the man who's admitted goal was the destruction of the entire family.

This EJ redemption is just written with haste and rather badly.
HORSE IS STILL BEING BEATEN

I am actually interested in seeing this episode despite getting my fill of Prevuze. I want to see the Ava/Hope thing and I am dying to see the EJ scenes. Which will be hilarious. 'Hears to rapists!' 'CHEERS!!'

12:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Colleen??? Was she at the wake?

2:56 PM  
Anonymous CherryNose said...

Klaus said "I'm not against an EJ redemption, but make him save a puppy or get shot protecting Caroline or a baby. I found the Caroline/EJ scenes incredibly retarded. "Hello man who raped my granddaughter!! You can change!!" My god, that was horrible."

Guess what, Victor attempted to kill BO and blackmailed Kim into having sex with him and Caroline seems to have forgiven him.

It's a soap, real life need not apply.

Great Prevuze today, as always.

4:24 PM  
Anonymous Klaus said...

CherryNose, I know it's a soap, and 'real life need not apply', that doesn't mean anyone should suspend their beliefs to an absurd level.

I am fully aware that almost everyone on this show (and most soaps) is a black mailing, 'negotiating', lying, thieving, substance abusing, adulterer. I expect something more than a short ridiculous conversation for people to 'change alignments' (Dnd terminology).

It just seemed like the show was going, 'Oh, the matriarch of Brady's has forgiven him therefore he is redeemed!'. As I said, I'm not opposed to an EJ redemption.

Re: Victor, he is Bo's father and had and still has his obligatory post-monster reflections. Plus, Victor isn't being made to be the DOOL poster-boy.

This EJ thing just feels incredibly rushed, even by soap standards.

9:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can almost see how people could see EJ's redemption as being "rushed", however I do disagree. EJ has been on the path of redemption since the Lumi wedding, really. Granted he fell off the wagon a couple of times but for the most part he was saving Sami and trying to help her family at almost every corner! He was even willing to sacrifice his own life to save Roman (and Lucas's for that matter)! He turned against Andre which was really going against Stefano even then, not just when he came forward about John recently. So, no, I dont' think it's all that quick, I think it's been a process that started back last spring. I noticed an argument was made for Victor being Bo's father, well, EJ is Johnny's father (hopefully anyway!). Also, let's face it, EJ was Stefano's "soldier", and look at all the dispicable things that Stefano managed to get some of our dearest characters to do under his "control" and yet we don't condemn them b/c they were being 'controlled' or were Stefano's 'pawn'...I don't see it any differently for EJ.

10:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I could care less about who Sami ends up with, because I've given up on the idea that anyone in Salem should have to pay for their crimes, unless it fits the storyline, of course.

However, I find it incredibly inappropriate for a DiMera, no matter how "redeemed" he is, one that shared Stefano's ill will toward the Bradys (without even knowing the true and terribly lame reason at that) should be at the funeral of the patriarch of the family.

Redemption to me, would have been for EJ to bow out gracefully having this realization.

Get over it about Luke and Laura, and about how Sami did this, Lucas did that, everyone blackmails, schemes, and lies...blah, blah, blah. The discussion is about how inappropriate it is to have this man who until very recently was participating in the lifelong torture of this very family, got to have a ball at the wake of a man who had been on the show for years.

Disgraceful, even for a soap. I sure hope if Alice dies, they don't pull this crap and they show some respect for her, at least.

3:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I Love that Ej was at the wake and the funeral and honored the widows wishes.

To the nutjob mixing an actor up with a character on a soap opera - run to the nearest mental health clinic - you are sick.

8:43 PM  

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