Monday, January 08, 2007

Your Inner Gossip Queen

Abby, Nick and the brat are in the garage office. Nick says she's bossed him around for the last time. He storms out and slams the door. The brat asks, "Where did that come from?"

Abby says, "Maybe he's tired of you treating him like crap."

"I've been nice lately," says the brat.

"That's what I meant," says Abby, "You've moved up to the level of treating him like crap. What do you do for him? You really don't get it do you?"

Abby goes out to talk to Nick. She tells him Chelsea deserved that. Nick says, "If she doesn't see me as a man, I will walk away. You can tell her I said that."

Shawn and Belle sit in the pub and talk about the subpoena. Well, Shawn talks. Belle sits in her own, dark little world and snivels. Shawn assures her he won't let them lose their daughter.

Hope brings Dan Howell up. He will be their new tough lawyer, "You might want to keep Claire, so it would be best if you left Mickey out of this." They invite him to sit.

Kayla and Hope walk away and talk about the custody situation. Hope runs through the litany of all the bad things that have happened to Shawn. She can't believe it's been a whole year since Zack died, "On the other hand, it was a pretty long year. Time really drags when you're pregnant for 12 months."

Patch goes ballistic. Bo drags him away and tells him to calm down. Patch sees lights. His head explodes as Beverly calls the cops. Patch screams.

Dan advises his new clients. Shawn tells him Victor knew Claire was his daughter for almost a year before he found out. Dan points out Phillip was deceived too. He left because he was hurting and in shock. Belle and Shawn don't get it. They thought Dan was on their side. Dan ways it's his job to tell them these things, "Victor played you. Both of you."

Kayla suggests Hope should have one more kid. Hope doesn't think so. She makes the same suggestion to Kayla. "Don't tempt me," says Kayla, "But with everything Steve's going through right now, he wouldn't be a good dad."

Patch comes back to reality and asks what he happened. He apologizes. Bo and Steve start to leave. Beverly tells them they can't leave the premises, "The police are on the way."

"I am the police," says Bo. They go outside and Bo asks what happened. "I don't know nothing," says Steve. Bo presses. Patch ponders.

The brat gets a phone call. Billie tells her to meet her at the Brady pub for a surprise.

Abby tells Nick he did great. He thinks maybe he was too rough on her. Abby insists he needs a girl who will be nice to him. He agrees but he's still in love with her. Abby wretches. Nick purses his lips.

The brat resists but Billie tells her it can't wait, so she should get her sorry butt down there. Billie and hangs up.

Abby tells Nick he gets what he deserves. "As long as I get her," pines Nick, "She is my destiny. She has feelings. She puts up a tough exterior."

"Shane Patton is her destiny," says Abby, "What are you going to do? I have an idea. You can kill him. Go online and tell Chelsea you are a friend of Dr. Patton and he died of a virus. It'll be a computer virus, but she won't know that. Get rid of the fake one and let her know the real one."

Patch doesn't know what's happening to him. He tells Bo all this started the night he had dinner with Benjy. It's an incredible booming in his head. This time he saw bright lights, too.

"It sounds like the opening to a Cher concert," says Bo.

The cop arrives and Beverly comes out of her office. She asks for Patch to be arrested.

Kayla thinks Steve is a great dad to Stephanie, "But with everything going on right now, his trances and all, it's not time to have another kid." Hope is sooooo sorry about his condition. Kayla doesn't think it's just going to disappear. Things are too uncertain.

Shawn admits he screwed up, "I shouldn't have driven a racecar into Victor's living room. I should have used a much less expensive vehicle." He loves his daughter and will do anything for her. Dan says living with a prostitute and working for EJ is against him. "What do we have to do," asks Shawn.

"Show you've changed," says Dan, "Belle will have to get her act together too. Victor claims she is neglectful. He has ammunition to back it up."

Abby thinks Chelsea liked it when Nick yelled at her, "The real Nick Fallon showed up." Abby tells him he's cute.

Nick reels, "Cute isn't a word a guy likes to be."

"Chelsea finds it appealing," says Abby, "If Chelsea can't treat you right, then walk away. Unless you aren't man enough."

That got him, "OK! Shane Patton is officially dead. Enter Nick Fallon." He remembers he promised Maggie he would help her take down Christmas decorations. He tells Abby she should take her own advice about Max as he leaves.

The brat walks out and asks, "Where is bad boy Nick Fallon?" Abby tells her to stop it. "He'll get over it," says Chelsea.

"Not this time," says Abby.

Bo tells the officer there is no need for cuffs. Beverly says Patch tried to attack her. Bo tells officer Casarez Patch is going through a tough time and, as his superior, orders him to let him go. Casarez says it's not up to him or Bo, "There are laws we have to abide by if she files a complaint."

"Laws...," says Bo, "Bold new concept." Bo turns to Beverly and promises he will get Patch out and she will never see him again.

Beverly heaves a sigh, "Just get him out of here."

"Casarez, I'll do the paperwork on this," says Bo.

Patch says to Bo, "I owe you one, Dude."

"What you own me is an explanation of what's going on in your head," says Bo.

Billie comes into the pub and finds Hope and Kayla. Small talk ensues. Billie asks if there will ever be a time when this is not awkward, "I got the letter."

"It was from his heart."

"I'm happy you are back together," says Billie, "I mean that. He was a little old for me, anyway."

Billie makes over Bedbug. She asks about a name.

"Have any suggestions," asks Hope. Billie looks around the room to see if Hope is talking to her.

Dan tells Shawn, "Belle is still legally married to Phillip. She lost Claire in a restaurant. You will have to defend yourselves against these charges."

Shawn says, "All I'm hearing is that Victor has everything and we have nothing. All right, you tell us what we have to do, counselor. You tell us what Belle and I have to do to get our daughter back."

Bo observes Steve has been acting a bit violent lately. Steve says he has never hit Kayla, "For one thing, I don't want to lose my other eye." He'd be lost without her. He tells Bo the MRI was clean, "All vacuums are clean." He thinks this will pass, "My mind is trying to reach back and grab something. You can't tell Kayla what happened today."

"I can't do you that favor," says Bo.

Billie is confused, "Doodlebutt can't be without a name."

Hope says, "The name will find her, not the other way around. I'm serious. If you have a suggestion, I'd like to hear it."

Billie suggests Ilene. It reminds her of an old movie.

"A very old movie," says Hope. Kayla doesn't like it either.

Head Lice cries, so Hope immediately leaves. Billie picks her up. Kayla thinks she's a natural. She says she owes Billie a thank you since Billie told her not to give up on Steve. Billie encouraged her. She thinks Billie has handled this with grace.

Billie doesn't feel graceful. Kayla is sorry if Steve hurt her.

"Men," says Billie. "Can't live with 'em. Can't kill 'em. That's a lesson you have to learn, Woodtick."

Dan just wants them to know what they are up against. Shawn says Victor can take his best shot. Belle tells him to calm down. It's her job to throw fits. All that matters is how they come across in court. The attorney agrees.

Shawn points out Phillip ran away.

"To war," says Dan the lawyer man, "Not exactly a plus for us. I found out Phillip is hospitalized in Montreal. If he doesn't show up in court, it's better for us."

Shawn freaks, "Yeah, and if he does show up, it will be in bandages and a wheel chair." The lawyer tells him he can't lose his temper in court. Shawn says he is frustrated. Dan says the judge doesn't care about that. He'll be in touch. He leaves. Shawn and Belle hug.

Maggie plays with a toy Santa she got from Mickey, when she visited the set of General Hospital. Nick arrives. Maggie tells him the Santa doesn't work when she winds it up. Nick looks at it. Maggie asks if he is OK. He can't fool her, "Woman trouble." Nick goes to fix Santa.

"But who," asks Maggie.

The brat tells Abby she has Nick wrapped in a nice little bundle. Abby says, "If you don't clean up your act, you'll get voted off the island." The brat says Abby is sounding like her mom.

"You should listen," says Abby, "Your mom is smart. She's been around."

The brat chokes, "A lot more than you know. Guess what I found out."

Abby doesn't want to hear it. "Oh, come on," says Chelsea, "Find your inner gossip queen! Yesterday I walked in and she had been entertaining a guy."

"I can't believe she told you she had sex with someone," says Abby.

"She didn't exactly tell me," says the brat, "I found a belt –
A guy's belt. I figure he took off through my bedroom window. Don't you just love it?"

Abby is stunned, "Uh... yeah."

The brat tells her she has to go to the pub and leaves. Abby flashes back to the belt scene with Nick, "Nick and Chelsea's mom. No! He would not do that! That's so disgusting!"

Bo says he won't lie to Kayla. Patch presses him to promise. Bo says he can't ignore this. Bo promises he won't tell Kayla, if Patch will see a shrink. Patch can't believe Bo is saying this. He insists he would never hurt Kayla.

"In your right mind, no," says Bo, "But your right mind is gone."

"Yeah," says Patch, "It took off to see if it could find the left one."

Chelsea comes into the pub and finds Billie holding Termite. "You adopted a baby," says the brat, "OMG!"

Meanwhile, Hope tells Belle and Shawn they can make it. They will all be behind them. Shawn asks, "What if love isn't enough?"

"We have to have faith."

Shawn says, "Victor has some other power on his side." Hope assures them they will prevail.

Shawn threatens to take Belle and Claire somewhere no one can find them.

Bo insists he can out stubborn Patch any day. Patch will see a shrink but doesn't want Kayla to know about it. Bo asks, "What's this thing you have about lying to my sister?"

Patch says he will get this thing under control. The more he remembers the more he can have a normal life for himself, "You know that look on a woman's face when she believes in you?"

"I'm married to Hope," says Bo, "Is it anything like the look they get right before they ream you out? "

"I want to see that look again," says Patch. He asks Bo to give him a little time before he brings Kayla into this. Bo agrees.

Hope tells Shawn he isn't running away with Claire. Shawn says if Victor wins, that's just what he will do.

Billie tells the brat she hasn't adopted, "It's Bo and Hope's little girl, Fire Ant."

"You mean Hope and Patrick's little girl, Dung Beetle," says the brat.

"The baby is Bo's," says Billie. Chelsea realizes she has a little sister. Billie starts to hand her off to Chelsea. Hope swoops in and scoops her up instead.

Billie says, "You haven't even asked me about the surprise yet. Don't you want to know what it is? It's a good one."

Abby asks what Nick is doing. He says he's fixing the Santa. Abby says that's not what she's talking about. She just had a talk with Chelsea and she told her about Billie's one-night stand. Nick stares.

Nick says Chelsea's mom's sex life isn't any of their business. Abby tells him about the belt. Nick looks like a condemned man as the surge of electricity hits his body. Abby says, "My gosh, it's true. You had sex with Chelsea's mom."


Billie tells the brat they are moving into Lucas' old apartment. The brat is thrilled. She hugs Billie, "Thank you so much!"

Bo and Patch return. Patch tells Kayla Claire is in foster care. Kayla says Stephanie wants them to go to dinner tonight. She has news. Patch hopes it's good news. Kayla asks if he is all right. He says the Claire thing just has him upset. Patch and Kayla leave.

Hope asks what happened. "Nothing good." says Bo.

Belle asks Shawn if they are running off. Shawn just won't sit and let them take Claire. Bo comes up and tells them Claire is with a foster family. He says Hope has filled him in on their plans to bug out. He reminds them the court almost always decides in favor of the mother, "Hang in there." Bo leaves.

Shawn says, "What if Victor has paid off the judge? It's not like he hasn't done that before. I'm sorry, Dad. If the court rules against us, it's a big world out there. Let's see if Victor can find us." FF Shawn and Belle.



Billie tells Bo, "I shouldn't have involved him in my drama, and it was wrong."

Abby says, "I want you to tell me the truth. I am your friend and your cousin." Nick says, "OK! It happened! But only once."

Lexie is on the phone, "I want you to be absolutely sure, Tek." Tek says, "It's EJ Wells. You can swear to it."

Max says, "If you really don't want to go home tonight there is a solution. Why don't you stay with me?" Mimi raises her eyebrows.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shawn and Belle on the run. It may be wrong but it will be fun.

5:42 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

Funny, funny pictures today. I spewed my morning caffeine when I got to John being moved to the vegetable aisle. Also LOL at Claire's 121st meal of cookies and crackers and Patch betting on Dallas on the road.

I'm so glad to see Nick finally found his backbone and used it to whack the brat up side the head with it. HAHAHA

Great start for a Monday!

6:55 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

I guess hiring a temp actor for the lawyer is cheaper than a permanent NuMickey.

I love the opening of a Cher concert and had to quit reading to stifle my laughing by time I got to about the third baby name. HAHAHAHA

Great Prevuze to get us thru a Monday morning! :D

8:49 AM  
Anonymous Marci said...

How can anybody think Phillip is any better father than Shawn when he left without any word where he was going? What kind of father would do that?

9:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why did stewie from family guy remind me of the clair picture

I could imagine stewie's voice coming out of clair calling cps herself lol

10:16 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"How can anybody think Phillip is any better father than Shawn when he left without any word where he was going? What kind of father would do that?"

Are you saying that by suing for custody Phillip is being two-faced? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Somebody stop me.

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Loved all the pictures and baby names...Phillip being are on a roll and you just can't stop!

6:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Woodtick? Head Lice???? Thank God I'm in my office where I can laugh out loud!!

She must be "Doodlebug Brady" on her birth certificate since they don't let kids leave the hospital without a name these days.


2:51 PM  

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