Monday, December 18, 2006

Sniff & Search

Patch and Kayla sit on the couch and look at an album. They talk about Benjy. Patch is in the mood. "So what's stopping you," asks Kayla.

"Nothing," says Patch, "I'm just feeling so romantical." He wants to carry her over the threshold.

As they open the door Hope stands there. Hope says, "Looks like I missed a chapter – or two." Kayla smiles.

Kate is on the phone. Billie comes in and asks where she is going. Kate tells her she's going to Montreal. Billie didn't know Kate had business there. Kate tells her she has business everywhere. Paul pages her, "Mr. K called. He'll be downstairs in 30 minutes." Billie grills Kate about going with Victor.

Stephanie is sooo sorry about Max. She encourages Caroline, "God did not forget Mom and Dad and he won't forget Max either."

The brat looks on. Stephanie tells her she should join Abby and Nick. The brat sulks, "It might be better if I just go."

"Aw, come on," says Stephanie.

Roman tells Bo about going to the Kiriakis mansion. He thinks Kate is in on it. Roman says, "There's a catch. We can't get one of those search warrant thingies to get into the house, and the evidence we need to get the search warrant thingie is in the house. Bo has a solution. He'll get into the house himself.

John Black, the man of many faces, and Marlena, the woman of many husbands are on the plane headed home. John asks about Marlena's hand. She tells him Stefano had quite a grip for a man who is so ill. John goes macho, "I should have capped him when I had the chance." They decide they got the information they wanted. EJ is Stefano's son. Marlena asks what they do now.

"Let's just say Mr. Wells will have a little explaining to do," says John.

Marlena thinks they do too, to all the friends who didn't get to their wedding. "People don't care about watching reruns," says John.

Marlena goes to get the marriage certificate. She pulls it out but finds the death card along with it. John sees her smile evaporate and asks, "What? Did you just get to the part that says you have to love, honor and obey?"

Marlena holds the death card in front of John's face, "What is that?"

John smacks his lips and says he was going to tell her about that. Marlena recognizes it. He tells her Stefano gave it to him and also about the session with Celeste. John thinks it's the old man's sick little trick. Marlena says this is his way of giving the death card to John. He is the target.

"Oh come on," says John.

Kayla tells Hope Steve has his memory back. Hope congratulates them. Hope is flabbergasted, "It sounds just..."

Steve interrupts, "Unbelievable?" Hope gets a look. Steve asks, "What's the matter you think I'm still fakin'?"

Kate has to get to the airport. Billie stops her. She tells her Steve talked to Kayla, "He told her the truth and wants to be with me."

Billie figures out Kate can't be going on business because she and Victor are competitors. Kate says Billie is right. "I'll confide in you, but you can't tell anyone – Victor has had emotional problems ever since Phillip went missing and I've convinced him to see a shrink."

Billie is skeptical, "You're taking Victor to bed."

Stephanie, Nick, Abby and the brat talk about Max and Mimi. The brat knows Max and Mimi have been spending time together. She thinks they went off together, "Maybe even eloped."

Bo and Roman argue. "Are you out of your mind," asks Roman.

"I married Hope, didn't I," says Bo.

"This is breaking and entering," says Roman, "It's too big a risk."

Bo says he knows his way around the house. Roman asks, "And if you get caught?"

Bo says, "I got nothin' to lose."

Hope is stunned. Kayla thanks her for what she did to help Steve get his memory back. Hope is so happy for her. She gives Steve a look. She tells them Bo is back with her, but they don't know if he will be reinstated. She came by to tell them Max is missing, "Mimi is with him. It looks like they were kidnapped from the garage." Kayla thinks they she head over to the pub. She goes to get her coat.

Hope asks Patch if Billie knows. "No, not yet," sighs Patch, "Those cheat sheets you made for me really helped out. You got anything to help with Billie?"

"I think you can handle it," says Hope.

"It's not me I'm worried about," says Patch.

Kate says she doesn’t have time for this. Billie says for once in her life a guy she likes picked her. Kate says they will celebrate when she gets back. She leaves.

Nick doesn't think Max and Mimi eloped. Stephanie reminds everyone, "Mimi is still married to Shawn."

"That's just a technicality," says the brat, "They have been smoldering for weeks."

"Where do you come up with this stuff," says Stephanie.

"From Lonely Splicer," says the brat, "His words are like gentle fingers massaging my soul. Someday we will go to Fiji and get married."

"You couldn't find Fiji on a map," says Abby.

"I'll just say 'take me there' and he'll do it," says the brat, "I'll bet that's what Mimi and Max did. And right now they're probably lying together in some warm secluded spot..."

Abby nukes, "You're an idiot Chelsea! They did not run off together. And Lonely Splicer isn't real. Half the time those pictures on the Internet are not real. Do you care who Lonely Splicer really is, or are you so lost in your own little fantasy world..."

Nick shuts her up, "Abby! It's OK."

Bo insists he will take care of his family. He figures he can get by Victor's state of the art security system with his state of the art bumbling. He doesn't think Victor will press charges if he's caught, anyway, since he's his biological son. Max is counting on them.

John assures Marlena no one is going to die, "Would I lie to you?"

"You lied about this trip."

"That didn't count," says John, "We weren't married yet."

"What if Stefano's promise comes true," asks Marlena, "How can you be there for your family if you're dead."

"If I'm dead, I'll be there for my family just as soon as I come back."

Marlena lectures. He needs to stop this. It's getting too dangerous. She wants him to turn it over to the Salem PD. John can't do that because it's personal. She asks him to respect his family. He insists he does. She thinks that card is a gift to let him know what might happen if he doesn't back off. She begs him to think of himself and his family first

John asks, "Is this an ultimatum?"

Abby says she is just stressed, "Whatever happened to Max is Mimi's fault. If he hadn't..."

"If he hadn't what," asks the brat, "If he hadn't fallen for her maybe you'd be the one kidnapped with him instead."

Roman tells Bo they will break in to Victor's house together. Bo insists on doing it alone. Roman is the commander. He can't break the law or he might lose his job. Bo is the suspended gopher so he can break the law all he wants. Bo heads for Victor's, but runs into Hope, Patch and Kayla on the way out.

Bo tells them he's off to look for Max. Hope pulls him aside and asks what he is really doing. "A favor for Roman. You don't really want to know about it." Hope tells him Patch has his memory back.

Bo goes over to talk to him, "I hear Steve has been replaced with the old classic model."

"Nick Stockton has left the building," says Patch, "I also remember you owe me money from 1989." Bo asks his old buddy for a little help and they leave together.

Marlena says it's not an ultimatum. John says he would choose her every time if it came to that. Marlena says he doesn't have to prove who he is to her. She knows what he is made of. John says, "I would never want you to get caught in the crossfire, except maybe at one of your former weddings, but there have been so many I can't quite remember which one."

"Exactly what do you mean by that crack," asks Marlena Evans – Craig – Brady – Black – North - Black.

Abby storms out of the pub. The motley crew follows. The brat offers comforting words, "Abby, you are so in love with Max you can't see straight. You're pathetic"

Abby wheels around, "What's pathetic is someone who would be in love with someone they don't even know who they really are."

"I know who Lonely Splicer is, OK?"

"What's even more pathetic is someone who would date her own uncle," says Abby. Fifteen yards for unsportsmanlike conduct for Abby.

They all argue. Abby breaks down and admits it, "OK! I have feelings for Max. I LOVE HIM. THERE! ARE YOU HAPPY?"

Hope asks Roman where Bo took Steve. Roman just totally spills the beans, "They went to Victor's. With any luck your husband is about to find out what Victor has to do with the kidnapping."

Patch and Bo sneak around outside in the dark. They need to cut the feed wire to the alarm. Now that he has his memory back, Patch remembers he always carries a pair of wire cutters in his back pocket. He pulls them out and they head for the security system.

Abby dangles at the edge of the cliff, "I love Max! I'm not gonna hide it any more. I love him more than any guy I've ever met."

The brat makes a good point, "Except for Josh, he's the only guy you've ever met."

"He's my soul mate."

Nick takes her inside to see if he can get her to come back to earth.

The brat tells Stephanie Max is unattainable. "Just until he finds Ms. Right," says Stephanie.

The brat says, "We know Max is a player. He isn't interested in finding Ms. Right. Only Ms. Right Now."

Kayla comes outside and interrupts. She tells Stephanie her grandfather is still upset. He wandered out of the Alzheimer's wing to go find Max, so they had better go look for him. They head out on their mission.

Chelsea looks inside to see Nick and Abby.

Roman tells Hope Steve and Bo are looking for clues.

"Great," says Hope, "It's been quite a while since Bo had one." She is upset, though, "Breaking the law is breaking the law whether it's for a good cause or not."

Roman asks her to cut Bo some slack, "All he has left is his pride. Don't take that away from him."

Billie comes in and runs up to Hope.

Bo works on Victor's door with his Capn' Whiz Bang lock pickin' set. He isn't having much luck, so Steve steps in. He inspects the tools and selects the proper one. He gently measures it against the doorknob. He considers his tools carefully and then slams his foot through the door, which practically flies off its hinges. "After you, Beauregard."

Bo and Steve sneak around the dark mansion. Steve asks what they are looking for. "Anything that might lead us to Max and Mimi," says Bo.

"Ahhhh...," says Patch, "the elusive anything that might lead us to thing."

"What's that smell," asks Bo, "The script? "

"Antiseptic," says Patch, "It takes me back to my bedpan days." They sniff and search.

John says when they get back he will fill Abe and Roman in and be off the case.

Marlena is skeptical, "Really?"

John says to no one in particular, "She doesn’t believe me."

Marlena tells the same guy, "He's told me this before."

"That was before we made the wish at the fountain," says John.

"We made that wish on a single coin," says Marlena.

He gives her another coin to keep and remember their dream will come true and she can always believe him. She trusts and loves him. She wants to make one of his wishes come true, "Got any ideas?" John gets ideas.

Billie asks about Mimi and Max. Hope says there are no leads. Billie asks if she has heard from Steve and Kayla. Steve told her all his memories were fake. She can't remember the last time she felt this happy. Hope stares.

Chelsea comes back in. She apologizes for acting so immature, "Even thorough Max is technically my uncle I had a big thing for him. It still hurts and I'm trying to get over it with Lonely Splicer if he'll have me." Abby is shocked. She says she hasn't ever heard the brat apologize before.

Chelsea says, "I guess Lonely Splicer is having a really good effect on me."

Nick says, "Lonely Splicer sounds pretty deep."

Abby says, "And in way over his head."

The brat says, "He once said you can't expect fairness if you're not willing to be fair."

Sniff and search. Bo finds a piano hinge, and decides the panel must be a secret door. They open it and find a room full of hospital equipment. A loudspeaker overhead blows static and announces there are intruders on the premises. So much for Bo's sharp skills at disabling security systems. Bo goes through the wastebasket and finds wadded up gauze.

John says, "This is like déjà vu all over again. Recently married. Private jet. Love at 35,000 feet. Haven't we done this before?"

"I do it on all my honeymoons," says Marlena, "It's is a continuation of our honeymoon practice." Down on the couch.

Abby and the brat hug and make up. The brat says Max is really smart, like a superhero in the movies, "Indestructible. He will figure out a way to get home. He's probably coming to realize he needs to be with a better class of girl." She turns to Nick, "Have you found Splicer yet?"

"I'm working on it."

"Doesn't look like it to me," says the brat. She asks him to get back to work. Nick smooches Abby and says, "I'll call when I find out."

"You can' kiss me too," says Chelsea, "It's not like I'm going to jump your bones."

"My loss."

Hope tells Billie she isn't comfortable talking about this. Billie just thought Kayla might have called her.

Bo and Patch bust in. Billie is giddy, "Welcome back! I missed you!"

Bo tells Roman the security team showed up, but they made it out the back undetected. He tells him they found bandages.

"What's he hiding," says roman.

Bo says, "Max and Mimi got too close and Victor put them on ice."

Meanwhile, back at the ice house, Screamin' Mimi does her thing, "HELLO! CAN ANYBODY HEAR US?"

Max tells her to cut it out, "We'll get out of here, and when we do Victor will pay." Struggle.



Mimi and Max are tied up together on the floor. She reaches around Max and says, "Wait there's something." Max goes wide-eyed, "OK, THAT WAS DEFINITELY NOT MY KNIFE." Mimi's eyes pop out.

Billie says, "You're trying really hard to tell me something and..." Patch says, "I got my memory back."

Hope mumbles, "I could have lost this." Bo says, "That will never happen again."

EJ says, "You will do anything I ask you to do." Patrick says, "I am telling you how it is going to be and nobody is going to hurt Hope."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

EJ is such a SLEEZE bucket!

5:40 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

My alarm didn't go off this morning and I've been wandering around in a daze for a couple of hours. But Prevuze turned that daze into DAYS and IT'S A MIRACLE! I'm awake!

Hard to be sleepy when you are ROTFLYAO at the great pictures and Prevuisms today.

The great Karnack take off. Quite a while since Bo had a clue. What's that smell? The script?

Too many to list and I loved 'em all.

Even the DOOL writers seem to be doing their part..."We'll go to Figi to get married." "You couldn't find Fiji on a map!" Sounds like they have been learning at the feet of the master - Prevuze!!

7:06 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

You'd think Victor would have security cameras up the wazoo and would have on tape who so QUIETLY broke in. HAHAHA Loved the image of their careful break-in.

OK, so Squints and Marlena found out EJ is Stefano's son. Other than that have they or the Salem PD found proof he's done anything illegal yet?

Loved the pics of Philip's face transplant snafu and Will's telephone call. Great Prevuze for a Monday!!

7:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"What's even more pathetic is someone who would date her own uncle," HA - what all of us have been thinking!

Also loved Bo's break-up advice to Shawn. And EJ may be a sleaze-bucket, but he's a HOT sleaze-bucket!!!

7:20 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"he's a HOT sleaze-bucket!!!"

The first thing I thought of when I read that was "warm bucket of spit," which was Roosevelt's VP John Nance Garner's very graphic description of the Vice Presidency.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"If I'm dead, I'll be there for my family just as soon as I get back" HHHHHHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Though all the Prevuisms were hilarious today. Thanks!

11:53 AM  
Anonymous elisa said...

"Patch remembers he always carries a pair of wire cutters in his back pocket."

HA! My husband always carries a Leatherman wirecutter multitool thingy on his belt, and a pocket knife. Never leaves home without them. :P

Prevuze was great as usual.....

12:55 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"HA! My husband always carries a Leatherman wirecutter multitool thingy on his belt, and a pocket knife. Never leaves home without them. :P"

Y'know, if it would have been a Leatherman, that would have been one thing. But, in the quick look I got at the tool, it actually looked like a big pair of pliers. We gave him the benefit of the doubt and called them wire cutters. Maybe he carries the pliers in one pocket and the wire cutters in the other and just pulled out the wrong one.

1:41 PM  

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