Monday, March 28, 2005

The Ballad Of Bo Brady

Stami paces and morphs down at the dock. He flashes back to telling Chelsea how to make it with Patrick, “If she does what I tell her Billie will never be happy.”

Chelsea watches Billie “put the moves on Patrick.”

Billie thanks Patrick. She really needed a friend. Abby thinks Jennifer is jealous because Patrick hugged Billie. Billie’s going for a walk to clear her head. Patrick thinks she shouldn’t be out there alone. He’ll go with her. Billie thanks Jen for the talk. Man, if that was a talk, I’d hate to see an argument. Patrick reminds Abby they made a deal as he leaves.

Patrick and Billie start walking. They decode to see where the wind takes them. Chelsea knows where it will take them – to Patrick's bed. She vows not to let that happen.

Hope is so relieved Shawn wasn’t hurt. Belle blames herself for the accident. She says when she found him, she told him what she has been telling him (and telling him, and telling him, and telling him). They can’t be together while Phillip is hostage. Hope wants to know if Shawn wrecked his motorcycle deliberately. “OMG, no,” says Belle, “Shawn wouldn’t do that.” Hope thinks he is capable of almost anything.

“Whadya gonna do, Commander, arrest me,” asks the defiant Shawn.

“I can be your friend or your enemy,” says Bo, “What’s it gonna be?”

Shawn doesn’t want to fight. Bo says he loves him and wants to help him. “I’m not a little kid anymore,” says Shawn.

“If you don’t listen,” says Bo, “you’re making a big mistake.”

Hope prays Bo can get through to Shawn. Belle says what’s going on with Billie can’t be helping much either, “You said you and Bo have a lifetime love, but I’m getting the feeling Billie might take Bo away form you.”

Hope sighs, “You’re right, I’m petrified I’m going to lose Bo.”

Shawn says, “I know you’re trying to help. But I already know what you’re going to say - I have to clean up my act.”

Bo says, “This last little wreck... strike three. You’re bike isn’t getting repaired. You drive anything again while you’re license is suspended, I’ll arrest you myself.”

Shawn does his best James Dean, “Give me a break. You don’t give a damn about me. I’ve been going to hell for months and you’ve been running around with Billie Reed. Stop giving me the father of the year act.”

“You’re angry,” says Bo.

“I passed angry months ago. And so did Mom.”

Bo stares.

“I can’t believe you broke curfew again,” says Jennifer, “Do you know how dangerous it is for a young girl to be wandering around the docks?”

Abby is defensive. She says she wasn’t wandering around the docks. She was with Chelsea. She thinks she’s almost an adult.

Jennifer wants an apology. Abby wants an apology, too.

Jennifer says, “Abby, I don't know what I’m going to do with you.”

“How about shutting up and letting me go to bed?”

Jennifer cries. Abby apologizes, “What is it? There is something more, isn’t there? When you thought Dad was alive this summer you didn’t say anything to me. If there is something going on I need to know. We are a family. What is it mom?”

Jennifer sobs, “Abigail, tonight I thought your Dad came home. I thought her was here in this house.”

Stami watches Patrick and Billie come to the dock and thinks, “I know how much Kate wants Billie to be with Bo. I’ll break her heart while I break Billie's. Two for the price of one.”

Patrick tells Billie this is where he found Abby. Billie is upset that Abby would be down in this area at night, “What you did earlier meant a lot to Jennifer. She cares about you.”

Patrick says, “I care about her, as a friend. Jennifer is strong but she has a lot to handle without a husband.”

Billie gets right to the point, “Do you see yourself ever in that position?”

Chelsea stalks. Stami watches, “With any luck we’ll hear something we can use against them.”

“Bo loves you,” says Belle, “and no matter how much time he spends with Billie, he comes home to you. He’s here tonight because he loves you and he loves Shawn. You're not going to lose Bo.”

“I hope you’re right about that, but Bo and Billie were married once.”

Belle says, “When Bo and everyone thought you were dead, when you came back, he followed his heart. You and Bo have been in love practically your entire lives. Do you think you could lose him now?”

“It’s not just Billie,” says, Hope, “I said terrible things to Bo tonight. I meant it then, I’m not sure now.”

Belle says, “What you guys have is like out of a fairy tale. But if you and Bo could break up, what hope does that leave for Shawn and me?”

Shawn tells Bo, “You’ve not only been ignoring me, but you’ve been ignoring Mom and Zack.”

“Yes, but I’ve got a right to be angry with you, too. I expect more out of you Shawn,” says Bo.

“You don’t’ have brain surgery as an excuse, Dad.”

“I’ve been trying to talk to you. Did you tell Belle how you felt about her marrying Philip? No, you just drove your motorcycle through a church window. Blood tests don’t’ lie. You were on drugs when you did that. You were out of control. This irresponsible behavior just goes on. Were you trying to kill yourself tonight,” asks Bo.

“What the hell are you lecturing me about self-control? Take your fatherly concern and shove it.”

“Why would you suggest I could replace Jack,” asks Patrick.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it,” says Billie, “And yes I think you could.”

Patrick flashes back to his promise to Abby, “Me and Jennifer? Never.”

Billie asks, “Is there a mystery woman?”

“No, says Patrick, “there is no one else. Who would want to be with me?”

“I don’t see anything wrong with you.”

“You don’t really know me.”

“I know you’re one of the good guys, Patrick,” says Billie.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” says Patrick, “but it’s not true. I’ve done a lot of things in the past that I’m not proud of.

“That’s why they call it the past. So if you’re interested in Jennifer, go for it.”

Patrick says, “I don’t deserve a woman like Jennifer.”

Chelsea watches.

Billie confesses, “I’ve done terrible things myself. I lied to Bo about my daughter.”

Stami comes up behind Chelsea and startles her.

“When’s daddy coming back,” asks Abby.

“I said I had a feeling,” says Jennifer. We checked the whole house. We didn’t find anything except... did you mark these magazine pages?

“This proves Daddy was here. Only he does that.”

“I thought so too,” says Jennifer, “but Patrick convinced me.”

“Patrick wants you for yourself.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

Abby says, “He’s interested in you mom. The question is are you interested in him too?”

Hope tells Belle she can’t lose faith. Belle tells her, “Then you can’t lose faith in you and Bo.”

“It’s not the same thing,” says Hope.

“Yes it is,” insists Belle, “If you gave up what kind of message would that send the rest of us?”

“I have been so angry and hurt,” says Hope, “And I have threatened to leave him if he didn’t put his family first.”

“But he’s upstairs with Shawn now.”

“Yes,” says Hope, “That’s true. And he will be with us at least, until Billie gets in trouble again. Then he’ll go running to her.”

Belle says, “If Georgia is alive she’s his daughter. And there are a lot of men out there who wouldn’t step up to help with her.”

Hope says, “At the end of the day, I need to know he will come home to us.”

Belle philosophizes, “Love is an act of faith. Sometimes you have to be patient. When it comes to love, faith has to work both ways.”

Bo tells Shawn, “I won’t tell you I never got drunk or raced my motorcycle.” I’ll bet he didn’t pull the stained glass stunt, though. “I have made mistakes. Usually when I was being stubborn and pig headed. One of those mistakes is snot being here when you needed me. I always thought since you spent a lot of your childhood without your mom we were more than father and son.”

“Friends don’t let friends drive drunk, eh? You should tell that to Billie.”

Bo is frustrated, “OK I’m your father and I won’t let you self-destruct. I can’t help you unless you drop this angry-young-man act.”

“You are the last person I would ever take advice from,” says the rebel.

Bo tells him, “When you lash out like that you’re proving how much you've lost control. You can’t throw everything away. If Belle wanted you right now what do you have to offer her?”

Billie tells Patrick, “When I gave birth to Georgia, she was stillborn or so we thought. When I came back to Salem I lied and said I was still pregnant so I could get Bo back. Hope and I had an argument and I said she made me miscarry.”

Stami tells Chelsea, “If she would do that to get Bo, imagine what she would do to get Patrick.”

“It’s in the past,” says Patrick.

“That’s not who I am anymore,” says Billie, “Just like you’re not who you were.” That’s not so unusual. There are a lot of people in Salem who aren’t who they were, like John/Roman. “We see you as the guy who helped us get off the island. You are a man I would trust with my life.”

Patrick tells her, “I am not who you think I am. I’m no good for either Jennifer or you.”

Billie is surprised, “When did this become about me. Are you saying you are interested in me?”

“He’s falling right into her trap,” says Stami.

“I’m not interested in Patrick or anyone,” says Jennifer, “Maybe I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. You and your brother fill my life but there are things you can’t give me.”

Abby picks right up on that one, “You’re talking about sex. You want to sleep with Patrick. Admit it mom. You want him. What’s going to happen when Dad comes home and sees you together? If he were dead he’d be spinning in his grave right now. Abby runs upstairs.

Patrick says, “Why are you surprised? Who wouldn’t be interested in you?”

“I am the last person you should be interested in. I have a lot of baggage.”

“That makes us a matched set,” says Patrick, “You know, there are some incredible women in Salem, like Jennifer, Hope...”

“What about me,” says Chelsea.

“This has been an interesting walk, but I think I should get back to Bo’s house,” says Billie.

Patrick escorts her.

Chelsea stomps, “She’s after my man all right. The conniving bitch.”

“Yeah, says Stami, “just like her mother, Kate Roberts.”

Chelsea says, “I don’t know her.”

Stami says, “She’s a witch and her satanic spawn Billie is just like her.”

“She’s not going to get away with this.”

“Follow my advice,” says Stami, “and we’ll get both mother and daughter.”

Belle needs Shawn to understand that no matter how much she wants to be with him, she can’t, “If he doesn't start respecting my needs I don’t see how this will work. “

The defiant one says, “Belle still loves me and I love her. This lecture is over with.” He turns to walk away.

Bo says, “You’re afraid of losing Belle. You run now and you will lose her forever.”

FF on the defiant rebel Shawn.


Come listen to my story 'bout a man named Brady
Poor Salem cop and his possessive lady
Then one day he was out to save a life,
He flipped her over - it was his ex-wife
(Billie that is, Miss Reed, Trouble with a capital T)

Well the next thing you know old Bo's a dad again
Billie said Georgia didn't die back then
Ditch that shrew Hope and come away with me
She said Abroad is the place we gotta be
(Europe that is, mystery castles, fake accents)

Well the search turned out fruitless and the plot was really lame
They gave it all up and came on home again.
Billie got plastered and started a bar fight
She cold cocked a cop, Bo was her white knight
(Shining armor that is, all brawn, no brain)

Now Billie lives with Bo and Hope and three's not company
Shawn is driving motorbikes, he's on a wrecking spree
He's flirting with Miss Belle while Phillip risks his life
And Belle's not sure why she's Private Phillip's wife
(Clueless that is, dim bulb, REE-tard)

Now after his last wreck, Shawn can hardly walk
And just like Jed with Jethro, Bo wants a long, long talk
Bo tells Shawn he might just wind up dead
And Shawn ignores the sage advice from his old dad Jed
(Bo that is, Mr. Snarly, Jed Brady)

Well now it's time to say goodbye to Bo and all his kin
They would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in
You're all invited back again to this insanity
To have a heaping helping of their Salem lunacy
(Daze style that is, suspend reality and Y'all come back again, ya hear?)


“Marlena and Roman must be there for each other,” says Kate. “Let’s get started,” says the eager John.

Marlena tells Roman, “Make love to me.” Roman follows orders.

Bo asks Hope, “What were you going to say?” Hope says, “Just this...” and plants a big kiss on him.

Phillip gets shock treatments. Bart tells Tony, “By the time we’re through, this guy Kiriakis will be more than willing to cooperate. Tony says, “By the time we are through, he will be dead.”


Anonymous applecheeks said...

OMGOMGOMG! ROLFL!! The Ballad of Bo Brady is priceless. I laughed so hard my tummy started hurting.

One observation - Shawn's statement that Bo didn't have brain surgery as an excuse for his behavior was rather pointless. You have to have a brain before you can have surgery on it and Snarly hasn't had one for years.

6:23 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

HAHAHA! Great song lyrics! And I still get a laugh every time you reference John/Roman.

Excellent Prevuze.

6:23 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

<< You have to have a brain before you can have surgery on it and Snarly hasn't had one for years >>

Yeah, you know, I wanted to say something aobut that, but just let it go. With Daze, practically every sentence is an opportunity for sarcasm.

So much lunacy, so little time...

7:14 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

I was so blown away by the ditty, I forgot to note my admiration of the picture today. More than Stami was morphing on Prevuze. ;-)

7:37 AM  
Anonymous Emma Elliott said...

The Ballad Of Bo was more perfect than anything!!! ROTFLMAO!!! Tears! Its going to be in my head all day now!!!!

Top notch Prevuze!
Once again!

7:40 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Ah, the accolades! Can the Pulitzer be far behind?

8:44 AM  

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