Friday, December 10, 2010

A Halfway House For Over-The-Hill Hookers

Victor sits at his PC and spews vile language à la Bo yesterday. The Salem potty-mouth patrol certainly has its work cut out for it.

"Yeouch," says Phillip, "Too bad my ears aren't artificial like the rest of me. What's wrong?"

"Wikileaks has started releasing information on Titan's activities," says Victor.

"Wow, they really have hit the bottom of the barrel," says Phillip."

Not only that," says Victor, "Vivian has sent me a bill for the sarcophagus." He thinks Vivian is on the move and could destroy all of them, "She's an inane, illogical, irrational woman."

Meanwhile, over at Clhoe and Daniel's shabby place, not-befitting-a-doctor-of-Dan's-status, Chloe bounces Parker around as Daniel beams with joy.

Caroline kneels at church and begs God to forgive her. "I am a forgiving God, sayeth the Lord, but I can only go so far. You've exceeded your limit."

Bo and Carly are at the pub worrying about Hope.

The warden tells Hope to write a letter to Bo telling him she had a relapse, but is fine. Let's see, she had a relapse to completely freaking out, but is fine. Yeah, Bo will probably buy it. Hope refuses, but the warden threatens.

Sami walks in the woods. A hand clamps her by the mouth and drags her into the bushes.


He shushes her. They cower and hide. EJ walks up, "Well, well, well, what are you doing here? You just made a big mistake."

Will and Gabi make out. Gabi chickens out and says she has to go. Will, however wants her to stay. All guys go through this scene at some point.

What EJ saw was Kate. He tells her, "I'm out here looking for a snake, and I think I found one."

The warden says all Hope has to do is tell Bo it's better that he doesn't see her... "Or else," asks Hope."

"By Jove," says the warden, "I think she's got it."

Hope says if she disappears Bo will never stop looking for her, "Your little ride is over."

Bo doesn't want to cancel his and Carly's visit to Clhoe and Daniel. At least that's what he says.

Chloe and Daniel revel in their happiness. Chloe bounces Parker on her knee as they talk about how great life is. They kiss. Parker turns green from all the bouncing.

Caroline tells God she didn't mean to hurt anyone by changing the paternity tests, "I will take that secret to my grave."

"Yeah, but you won't be coming up here with it," says God.

Will stammers around and says he doesn't want Gabi to leave, but didn't mean to order her around. Instead of ordering her to leave he orders up some more smooching.

Rafe and Sami cower as EJ picks up a stuffed snake and says Sydney can't go to sleep without it. Kate says she's an expert in going to bed with snakes, so she should talk to Sydney. So snakes have ho's, too? They walk off.

Sami and Rafe leave as Rafe tells her they have to have a long talk. Translation: Rafe will have a long talk and Sami will have a long listen.

Inside the rumpus room, Kate says she is there for her memoirs. "Chapter one," says EJ, "How to bake a brownie. Where are you going to live... is there a halfway house for over the hill hookers?" Kate says she thinks Sami really missed an opportunity blowing his brains out. Well, in Sami's defense you can't hit what isn't there.

EJ claims he has won. Kate tells him if he thinks that he's a complete idiot. No comment.

Rafe lectures Sami for sneaking around the DiMera mansion. Sami defends herself as hubby scolds.

A babe who works for Phillip sends him a drink. Phillip sloughs it off, but the babe joins him anyway.

Carly and Bo arrive at Daniel's dump. Carly gushes about Parker. "Parker is like his daddy," says Chloe," He's got a way with the ladies." Well, Phillip certainly is a ladies man.

Bo says, "You're really lucky the way things worked out."

Chloe asks, "What do you mean by that?"

The warden gets nasty with Hope and orders her to write the letter, "Or I will be forced to make other arrangements." Hope sits and writes as Jane dictates.

"Bo. I've had some rough days here and have gotten myself into a bit of trouble."

EJ and Kate trade wisecracks, threats and taunts. Kate talks about Curtis taking her kids. EJ notes she is a horrible person and doesn't deserve to be a mother. She says Billie and Austin eventually found out like Sydney and Johnny will, and after that Curtis was dead to them. She implies the same will happen to EJ, "They will turn on you and the thing you want most in life will be gone."

"My Maserati," asks EJ.

Sami continues to defend herself. Rafe continues to stand as firm as the Rock of Gibraltar. With the same IQ. Sami worries about what all this will do to Johnny.

Johnny sleeps... he wakes and screams for Sami.

Bo explains what he said was about them thinking they couldn’t have kids for awhile, and now they've got Parker. The boys go for brews as Chloe and Carly talk about being relieved Bo didn't say that because he had somehow found out the secret.

Caroline continues to pray. God promises to give her anything she asks for as long as she shuts up.

Kate and EJ... same-o, same-o. The butler interrupts and says Johnny has had a nightmare, "He's calling for his mother." Kate shakes her head.

Sami and Rafe have taken it to the park bench. They haven't changed the subject, though. Sami worries Johnny will be messed up for life. Like mother like son. "If EJ can't be a good father I'll go crazy," she whines. Too late.

EJ tries to calm Johnny. "Tell mommy to come back in here now," screams the kid.

The warden looks over what Hope has written and passes judgment, "It looks good. Your handwriting sucks, though." She wonders why Hope couldn't have just left well enough alone. The warden leaves. Hope stares.

Phillip tells Bambi he's the boss and a married man. "Married men are a specialty of mine," says Bambi.

Chloe says she's happy Carly is in Parker's life and is sorry Carly has to keep the secret. Bo gets a call, "That's kind of strange." He gets off and says he has to go to the station, "There is a letter there for me from Hope." Daniel leaves with Bo to get take-out. Or carry-in, as it were.

Will and Gabi break it up as Rafe and Sami walk in. Gabi stammers about why she is there and leaves. Sami sends Will. He thinks they should deal with it. Sami hopes Johnny knows she loves him.

Johnny says his mommy was there. EJ doesn't believe him. Johnny demands to see his mommy. Evil daddy says no.

Phillip tells Bambi, "I am married... very married. I've only gotten one woman pregnant since my wedding." She smooches him as Daniel walks in and grabs an eyeful. Phillip scoots.

Will comes back out in the living room looking for his phone. He finds it in the couch and texts Gabi. He asks if she's studying. She texts back that she's not, "Something else got my attention."

"Really? Same thing happened to me tonight," texts Will.

Rafe joins Sami in bed. He promises he won't give up, until he gets some.

Johnny wails at EJ, "I WANT MOMMY. I HATE YOU!"

Hope peers through the bars and hopes Bo reads her letter very carefully.

Bo reads about Hope attacking a trustee. Hope mumbles, "You've got to figure it out, Bo."

Bo reads, "Not a minute goes by I don't think about our precious Ciara." He looks up, "What the hell is that?" How soon Bo forgets his own kid.

Chloe wonders if it's tough for Carly to watch what Bo and Hope are going through.

A viewer stands up and shouts, "You have no idea how tough it is to watch!"

Carly says everything happened fast with her and Bo and it's hard to get his attention. Chloe thinks Carly must be sick of that.

Carly says, "Perhaps the past should be left in the past."

"Of course it should," says Chloe, "If we didn't leave the past in the past, there wouldn't be any room for the future in the future."

Albert Einstein steps into the scene, "Excuze me, ladiez, but zometimez zee pazt is in zee future. Zince E=MC² for examplez, if you travel in zee rocket zhip at more zan zee zpeed of light, time vill reverze. You vill catch up vith zee pazt zo in zat example, zee pazt is in zee future. Zo in zee future you might run into zome dead relatives and zat's vhy I called it zee Theory of Relative-ity."

"Where on earth," asks Carly, "did you come up with that crock of BS?"

"I ztudied advanzed algebra under Profezzor Rafe Hernandez," says Einstein.

Bambi and a guy giggle together. Victor tells Daniel if Bambi weren't so good at her job he'd fire her at Titan, "Shes a real man eater." He also tells Daniel Bambi reports to Phillip.

EJ comes back to the rumpus room and asks why Kate is still there. Kate says she wanted to see how things went with Johnny, "Did he ask for his mommy?" EJ clams up and tells her to leave. Kate says she knows he's worried, "And you should be." She leaves. EJ stares, "Desperate times call for desperate measures. We need to have another chat, Samantha."

Rafe tells Sami to have faith. Sami flashes back to giving Johnny the secret sign.

After remembering the sign, Sami tells Rafe everything will be OK. Translation: Trouble on the horizon.


Daniel asks Melanie, "Why are you in a rush to have a baby?"

Rafe tells Victor, "I want that SOB out of my wife's life... permanently."

Sami tells EJ, "I can still stand here and tell you to go to hell."

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at:


Anonymous Bulldog said...

I can't believe they wasted time with all of the Caroline praying scenes. But then if they hadn't we wouldn't have gotten these gems:

"I will take that secret to my grave."

"Yeah, but you won't be coming up here with it," says God.


God promises to give her anything she asks for as long as she shuts up.

You know Hope misspelled Ciara's name so Bo would know something was amiss.

Overall it sounds like instead of having big cliffhanger Friday they decided to have big rehash Friday.

A viewer stands up and shouts, "You have no idea how tough it is to watch!" Yeah! But it's easy to read about it through Prevuze.

Thanks, and happy TGIF and upcoming weekend everybody.

6:42 PM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

"Kate says she thinks Sami really missed an opportunity blowing his brains out. Well, in Sami's defense you can't hit what isn't there."...LOL! Loving the EJ snark!

Busy week-end...Have a great one everyone!

9:18 PM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Since I was off work yesterday I saved Prevuze for my Saturday-morning-let's-kick-the-weekend-off-right activity.

It's amazing how I'm always learning something new from Prevuze. For example - how Einstein came up with the name “Theory of Relative-ity”. Brilliant!

Will & Gabi’s teenage flirtation is sweet and refreshing. Also refreshing was someone pointing out the hypocrisy in Kate condemning his actions in taking the kids away from Sami given Kate’s own activities in that area.

Even the writers provided some great dialog and zippy one-liners like:

“Chapter one," says EJ, "How to bake a brownie.”

Loved the snark. Loved the censored link. Love Prevuze.

6:53 AM  

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