Thursday, December 09, 2010

Breakup Sex

Bo is at the pub. He grits at his cell phone and spews a few choice words which, on a decent show would be bleeped out. I mean we all know when you can't get hold of someone it's the phone's fault, right? Carly walks in.

At the same time, a group of burly, unshaven men walk up to Bo. One of them speaks for the group, "We're from the Longshoremen, Truckers and Sailors Decency League and we're going to tell your mommy on you and have her wash your potty mouth out with soap."

As the guys leave, the governor returns Bo's call. Bo says, "Governor, I know it's late..."

"No," insists the governor, "It's not that. I didn't return your call because I'm here with Ashley Dupré and I had to be careful whom I talked to. I don't want her taking me down like she did my good buddy Elliott Spitzer."

"Spitzer's hooker," asks Bo, "I thought her name was Kristen."

"Oh, hell," snorts the governor, "This ho has more names than Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-DiMera-Black-DiMera."

"Whatever the case," says Bo, "you're the only one who can help me."

Hope wanders in her cell. The warden comes in and says it's time to go as soon as the other prisoner, Big Bertha, is ready to go. Hope says Bertha wants to kill her.

Brady and Nicole are in the Kiriakis den. He says she can't break up with him because EJ said so. Nicole says she fell in love with Sydney and has to do what EJ says.

EJ carries pajama-clad Johnny in for a big surprise. He has Johnny cover his eyes and when they get there... SA-PRIZE, SA-PRIZE! It's the new bike Johnny wanted for Christmas. "I changed my mind," whines Johnny, "I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Air Rifle instead."

"OMG, no," says EJ, "You can't have one of those things. You'll shoot your eye out!"

"No I won't," insists Johnny, "I want to loan it to Mom. Maybe this time her aim will be better." Johnny throws a fit and runs out. In the background, the Beatles sing...

I'll buy you a brand new bike my friend, if it makes you feel all right
I'll give you anything my friend, if it makes you feel all right
For I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love...

Stefano comes in and wonders what the problem is, "What happened?"


Sami, Rafe, Will and Allie finish dinner. Sami cooked... stomach pump for dessert. Allie wants to know why Mommy gave the kids to EJ. Sami bobs and weaves and dodges the question. She goes off with Will and asks if he has a key to Stefano's place.

Will says, "Please tell me you're not thinking about going back there."

The guard handcuffs defiant Hope.

Sami says she has no choice and has to talk to Johnny. She begs Will for the key and asks him not to say anything to Rafe. Will says he doesn't know where it is. "FIND IT," orders mommy dearest.

"Find what," asks Rafe. Your butt with both hands.

Hope wrestles with the guard and begs for her help.

Bo gets a call from the warden, who asks to see him. Bo says he's on his way. Bo and Carly figure the governor made the call. Jen has joined them and wishes him luck.

The warden tells Leigh she's called off Hope's transfer because the governor called and threatened her if anything happens to Hope.

Brady now figures Sydney is more important to Nicole than him. This upsets him even though his latest drink is more important to him than Nicole. He reminds her Sydney is Sami's girl, not hers. He says he don' wan' nonna' EJ's snottiness any more.

Stefano gets off the phone and says the shipment from Thailand is coming tonight. EJ says he's not leaving. Stefano tells him Johnny will be fine and reminds him this Thailand transaction is 'delicate.' EJ hesitates, but goes with Stefano.

Sami apologizes for snapping but says she's stressed out. Like critical-mass level of stress. Rafe gets a call, "Where are they headed?" He gets off the phone and says EJ and Stefano are headed to the pier to intercept a shipment from Thailand. Rafe heads out. Sami gathers her things.

Jennifer and Carly share small talk. If they're talking it must be very small. Jennifer talks about Jack trying to find himself and pulls out a computer to show Carly graphic pictures of Jack's adventure. Carly looks and gasps.

Brady says he wants EJ to hear they broke up all on their own, and they will do that by having an ugly public breakup, "The whole town has to think we are through." He says he and Nicole will have it all when EJ believes they have really broken up.

Nicole says, "You're talking about us faking this breakup."

Will tries to stop Sami from running to the DiMera mansion. He'd have better luck trying to stop a locomotive with his bare hands. Sami begs. Will caves in and goes for the key. Sami stares at a picture of her kids.

Carly and Jennifer ramble about Jack's blog. Other than those posts Jennifer never hears from him, "I'd like to tell him where to put his digiree doo." Then they talk about Hope and Carly says Jen is no good to Hope if she puts herself in any danger.

Dr. God... uh... Walters comes in and immediately gets a call from the warden. He thanks her for the donor heart. The warden says no more organs until she deals with a situation. She thinks it will be over soon, though. Bo arrives as the warden gets off the phone. She tells Bo she has a problem, "It's your wife."

"That's been my problem for years," says Bo.

They tell Hope the transfer is off. Leigh comes in and says there are a few things she and Hope have to get straight.

Stefano and EJ wait at the pier. Rafe watches through his binoculars. From ten feet away.

Sami gets around the hundreds of security cameras, guards and dogs and enters the DiMera mansion.

Calamity Jane says Hope attacked another prisoner, just like she attacked those men last summer.

Leigh says she heard Hope has been trying to get her in trouble. Hope wants to know why Leigh is killing the inmates who come into the infirmary.

Brady tells Nicole what a joy it will be to go at each other's throats and then get together in secret to "work off the energy."

"I can't do it," says Nicole.

Gabi arrives at the Hernandez Hovel. She and Will talk about the missing kids and then how Gabi is dealing with Arianna's death. She talks about making Christmas tamales with Arianna, "There won't be any tamales this year."

Sami sneaks into Johnny's room. She kisses him. Johnny is thrilled. "Hurry," says Sami, "We have to get you to a babysitter. Mary comes in as Sami hides.

Bo says he thinks the warden is trying to pull something. "Are you calling me a liar," asks the warden.

"No, liar," says Bo.

The warden says nonetheless Hope is being a naughty girl. Bo says naughty girls are his favorite kind. He demands to see Hope and plays his 'governor' trump card.

Leigh claims she's never killed a prisoner, but there are prisoners worth more to her dead than alive, insinuating Hope is one of them.

Dr. Walters brags about his latest heart transplant. He and Jennifer giggle about Christmas and she offers to help him shop. They make a date as Carly walks back up to them. Ben leaves. Jennifer and Carly talk about how nice he is, "It's like he has an extra heart or two," says Jennifer.

Rafe spies as EJ and Stefano wait. Stefano brings up the fact Kate is gone and tells him she's moving out. EJ thinks that's appropriate. Stefano says he fell in love with her, "She got under my skin, not unlike Samantha Brady is for you." Marco calls. Stefano tells EJ they will be there a little longer.

Sami hides as Mary talks to Johnny about Christmas and tries to fix his bad dream. He dreamed Sami was there. Mary leaves and Johnny asks Sami why she hates him.

Gabi and Will have made it to the couch and continue their conversation. Will moves in and kisses her. Looks like Gabi's mourning period is over.

Sami says she could never hate him. Johnny shows way, way more maturity than any real kid would ever show and Sami rationalizes their behavior earlier. Sami says she came with a plan to make Johnny feel better. She reminds him of last year's Christmas pageant when she said she'd be in the audience and put up her hand if he got scared. She makes the same promise and says the hand up is her sign that she loves him, no matter what she is saying.

EJ worries that his children are at home without him during this delay. He heads for home. Stefano rolls his eyes. Rafe watches and wonders where EJ is headed in such a hurry.

The warden interrupts Leigh and Hope's love-fest. She sends Leigh off and says she has a job for Hope, "You have to do exactly as I say."

"I don't know," says Hope, "That would require concentration."

Nicole thinks EJ will see through a staged breakup. Just like he saw through her fake pregnancy. Brady grabs her, "OK..." passionate kiss... "But there is no more of this." Then he pulls off her top, "I wanna have breakup sex." Everyone knows that's the best kind.

Sami goes over the love-sign again and then hugs Johnny. She promises they will be together again soon. Johnny begs her not to go, but blathering Sami gives him the 'hi-sign' and leaves.

As Sami gets to the front door she hears someone so she runs through the rumpus room and into the garden. A hand grabs her and covers her mouth.


The warden asks, "Are you threatening me?" Hope says, "One way or another, your little ride is over."

Bo says, "You're really lucky the way things worked out." Chloe asks, "What do you mean by that?"

EJ asks someone, "What are you doing here?" Rafe and Sami watch.

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Anonymous Bulldog said...

They must have some lame governor. Helping Ho and Dope probably because they're BRADYS. And isn't this the same one who was blackmailed into pardoning Nicole?

Gabi and Will have made it to the couch and continue their conversation. Will moves in and kisses her. I wonder if this is when he realizes he's gay.

And who doesn't know with an immature/obstinate child you use reverse psychology? Just tell Sami to go over to the DiMera mansion and she'll never go over there again.

LOL over "Hurry," says Sami, "We have to get you to a babysitter." But my favorite Prevuism of the whole week (so far): "This ho has more names than Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-DiMera-Black-DiMera."

Thank you for brightening my afternoon, Prevuze!

12:35 PM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

"No I won't," insists Johnny, "I want to loan it to Mom. Maybe this time her aim will be better."...No kidding kid...her aim should have been more accurate last time! As much as I love JS(and his acting) we'd all be spared this ludicrous s/l, if Sami had hit her intended target :)

"Johnny throws a fit and runs out. In the background, the Beatles sing"...Thanks guys! now I have it going through my head. "can't buy me can't buy me love!"

"Brady now figures Sydney is more important to Nicole than him. This upsets him even though his latest drink is more important to him than Nicole." How true! Those 2 are really made for each other, aren't they?

"Stefano...reminds him this Thailand transaction is 'delicate.'...what is it? A Thailandese mail bride for EJ, since Samantha won't have him???

LMAO over the "fake break-up", being much like the "fake pregnancy", for Nicole...she's certainly fond of "faking it"!(must be a trick she picked up from her last profession)

"Nicole thinks EJ will see through a staged breakup. Just like he saw through her fake pregnancy."...OMG Prevuze, that's priceless! LMFAO! Elvis...the DiMera son who'se intellect is rivaled only by garden tools...

Have a great Thursday everyone!

4:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stellar recap! The picture captions were hysterical. I, like Bulldog LMFAO. Thanks.

4:48 PM  

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