Saturday, October 09, 2010

1.21 Gigawatts Required

I'd much rather be talking about DOOL, but I guess I should give you a little update on this satellite situation.

Wow. I just reread that... "I'd much rather be talking about DOOL." Never thought I'd catch myself saying that.

Anyway, without going into a long, convoluted sob story, the long and short of it is my equipment is working, but just can't pick up the DOOL satellite. We can pick up other channels and satellites, but we've lost that pesky little DOOL bird which, for those of you who like mind-numbing technobabble and cryptic naming conventions is Anik F2 at 111.1° (formerly E2). I don't have the zip code.

The fact that we can pick up other channels, but not this one perplexes Norris. Of course, if he's sober, beer can pop tops perplex Norris, but he's one hell of a satellite guy.

This is all complicated by the fact that there seems to be nothing on this satellite except DOOL and Y&R, both coming on in the early morning when Norris is unwilling to come to the Prevuze Compound, because the bars are still open.

So, since he can't be here when the satellite is transmitting something, Norris is coming back out to the Prevuze Compound bright and early Monday morning (which for him is 4PM). He's going to bring the Sat-o-tron he's invented. It's a modified death ray that can find satellites even when they aren't broadcasting anything.

I tried to get him to come this past week to do that, but he had to charge it up. He told me it's a long process because the Sat-o-tron requires 1.21 gigawatts of electricity. According to Norris, aside from a bolt of lightning, nothing generates 1.21 gigawatts of electricity except a nuclear reaction, and for that, he needed plutonium. I thought we were sunk. I told him, "Norris, you don't just walk into a store and buy plutonium."

"No problem," said he, "I got it from a group of Libyan nationalists. They wanted me to build them a bomb, so I took their plutonium and in turn, gave them a shiny bomb-casing full of used pinball machine parts!"

I was skeptical. I told him I didn't believe him, but he assured me it was true. In fact he said he wasn't even the first person who had pulled that scam. It seems he ripped the idea off from a Dr. Emmett Brown. Man, that Norris is versatile.

So he'll be here Monday... Norris that is, not Dr. Emmett Brown... and we'll train the ole Sat-o-tron onto the DOOL satellite and see if we can't get this feed back.

If we can't, next week we'll discuss Plan B. And we all know how well Plan B works out for the likes of John Black, Roman Brady, Bo Brady, Abe Carver, Rafe Hernandez and... you get the idea.

In the meantime, have a great weekend and pray those Libyan nationalists don't catch up with Norris before Monday.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey prevuze, If it helps my husband works in Libia. Need help call........

7:06 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

This sounds like another evil DiMera plot just to zing it to the Prevuze faithful. But I have confidence Norris will prevail and his plutonium device will be a success. Brain chips indeed!

Let's just enjoy the weekend and hope for the best. :D

7:16 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Heck, with 1.21 giggawatts of electricity you could just go back to the future and make note of where that pesky satellite is located.

Word verification: sayst

Therefore I sayst unto Norris - go forth and find that satellite signal so Prevuze mayest deliver a message of hope (and Bo and EJami and Safe and Melipnathephadanchlo) to us all!


7:24 AM  
Blogger Arlene said...

You'll know something is up if Norris shows up on Monday in a DeLorean packing compost to stick in the engine.

Word verification: mulueddl

Nah, it's too easy. Have a great weekend Prevuze world!

9:30 AM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

if "Norris is unwilling to come to the Prevuze Compound, because the bars are still open'"...well then by George bring the bar to him! For a couple of days just stack up a couple of coolers with a good assortment of alcoholic beverages, and invite Norris and the biker chicks for a "free alcohol" party at the Compound...around 2 AM when he's plenty drunk, just fill up his emply beer cans with club soda(he'll never know the difference!) 4 AM he'll be good & sober and ready to aim his modified death ray at any satellite in the sky...and then we'll all have our morning read back, cause we've really missed you guys...not DOOL, but the ability to poke fun at all the DOOL nonsense is hard to pass up.

11:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's time for a ritual sacrifice to the satellite gods. Let's see. I vote for Melanie. Here's hoping that virgins are optional.

As for Norris, he may have viewed an episode of DOOL and has decided an early morning trip to the Prevuze compound isn't worth the effort. I think I can speak for all the faithful. We certainly appreciate everything that Prevuze has done to remedy this situation.

Take care everyone!

4:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH NO we are all in trouble.
If my memory serves me, PLAN B
is the morning after pill to prevent pregnancy. WE CAN'T do that to DOOL writers.
The writers would have NO idea what to write if they didn't have multiple fathers/who slept with who/story lines to write about. "Plan B" might not be our best option prevuze. BUT then again if the writers didn't have pregnancy/who's the father storylines, THEY MIGHT ACTUALLY WRITE about all the characters instead of just THREE. have a great week prevuze - good luck with the techno stuff.

4:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm hoping and wishing and hoping and wishing that all this satellite issue gets fixed. The last few mornings I've actually had to do work when I got to work, instead of read my daily dose of Prevuze. Not sure how much more of this I can take!

5:00 AM  

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