Monday, August 23, 2010

Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler

Sami and EJ's endless wedding continues. Suddenly Rafe busts in. It seems the lad has news. Do not, however expect to hear that news anytime soon. DOOL may milk this scene until November sweeps.

Chloe answers the door and finds Carly. "I wanted to give you the news in person," says Carly, "Chloe... the baby is Daniel's." How do you spell 'relief?' D-A-D-D-Y-D-A-N.

Daniel stands outside the door, "It was the right thing. What matters is for Chloe to be happy."

Ian explains someone has already changed the results. Stephanie whines, "Who would do that?"

"I don't know," says Ian, "But it would have to be a pretty despicable person to even want to do it." Ian wonders if Chloe might have changed the results.

"Chloe," asks Stephanie, "A computer genius? She can hardly spell her name." Oh, yeah, right. I'm sure Stephanie is the next Bill Gates. "Maybe," says Stephanie, "it's someone we don't know about."

A nurse finds Nathan looking very suspicious as he works on his computer at the hospital. Nathan claims he's looking at football statistics. The nurse looks over his shoulder, "Hmmm... I didn't know there were football statistics at" Nathan leaves.

Melanie computes. She shuts her laptop, "It was the best thing to do for everybody."

Phillip stands outside, "Thank God that's taken care of."

EJ blows his stack. Stefano tells Rafe he's trespassing. Rafe refuses to leave until he talks to Sami.

Daniel comes in to the apartment and is surprised to find Carly there. Chloe gloms onto him as Carly says she came to deliver a present. Daniel buys the story, "But where is the present?"

Stephanie worries about who might have changed the results. Ian wonders why she's so worked up over this, "Stephanie, this is all good."

Nathan comes in, "This guy again? Really? What is with you two?"

Sami says Rafe has made it clear he moved on and so has she, "We don't have anything to say to each other."

Sami asks him to leave. Rafe wants to stay for cake and punch.

Stephanie says Ian came by to work on her computer. He leaves. Nathan gets gnarly, "I do not like that guy."

"You won't be seeing any more of him," promises Stephanie. She worries about what the mugger might have done to Nathan. He reminds her the guy almost killed Melanie. Stephanie thinks Nathan seems edgy. He thinks she seems jumpy. If we're lucky they'll be edgy and jumpy together and jump off the edge.

Nathan says, "Now you can stop playing games with me 'cause I think I just figured out why that clown Ian was here."

Phillip and Chloe make out. "I have to come home more often," says Phillip.

"Works for me," says Melanie, "Hungry?"

"Not for food," says Phillip. He sees the St. Mary's website on her computer and asks about it. She tells him about the job offer but says she doesn't want to work there, "I'll be happier where my friends and family are."

"If you're happy, I'm happy," says Phillip.

"Are you?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"You said you had a problem that could go either way," says Melanie.

"It went my way," says Phillip, "It's all good."

Carly produces the present. Chloe opens it and finds a teething ring, "Great! I've just about chewed through my old one!" She thanks Carly for everything and asks Daniel where he went.

EJ asks Rafe to leave. "I can't," says Rafe, "I'm not going anywhere. Roman wonders why they are all afraid to hear Rafe out.

EJ reminds him, "It's a wedding!"

"Coulda fooled me," says Roman, "It takes longer to prepare a frozen pizza than it did to put this together. What's five more minutes gonna hurt?"

Stefano steps up to Rafe, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way,"

Rafe grunts, "What are you gonna do, drag me out and kill me in front of Roman?"

"I'll bet if I did he still couldn't find out who the killer was," says Stefano.

Sami gives up, "All right. You have five minutes." Translation: take all the time you want, Rafe. EJ gets grumpy. Sami tells him not to worry, "Nothing he can say will change my mind." She and Rafe go out into the foyer.

Nathan says he just came from the hospital.

Stephanie panics, "I did it for you!"

"It's not just me," says Nathan, "Everyone is complaining. They all have to use that program you installed. You and Ian can stop keeping this a secret and maybe he'll stop acting like a jerk." Stephanie is relieved and they both express their unending love for each other.

Daniel says he got a text about something he had to deal with. Carly gets a call and says she has to leave. Daniel asks her to stick around, "There is something I would like to say." Sorry, Danny. Two females are in the room with you. You don't have a chance of getting a word in.

Stefano tells EJ he could have stopped Rafe. EJ thinks that's exactly what Rafe wants him to do, "If he knew anything he'd have laid it at everyone's feet. It's just a last ditch effort to get Samantha back."

"I hope you're right," says Stefano.

Outside, Rafe tells Sami she's making a mistake. Sami says she saw him with Nicole. Rafe thinks that's a poor reason to marry EJ. Sami blows her stack, "You're sleeping with the skank who stole my baby!" She changes her mind about giving him five minutes and starts to leave.

"This is about Sydney," says Rafe. Sami screeches to a halt.

Nathan and Stephanie are in bed. She's worried about his elbow. Nathan isn't exactly thinking about his elbow right now, "You may not know computers but you have other areas of expertise."

Phillip says he took care of a system problem with compu-guru Leonard's help. "Now you can concentrate on me," says Melanie.

"I can only deal with one problem per day," says Phillip.

Daniel says this hasn't been an easy time and he wants to say how much they both appreciate Carly's friendship. Oh, joy. Daniel tells Chloe he got box seats at the lyric opera, "I have sold my soul for two tickets to Carmen."

"I didn't know tickets to Carmen came that cheap," says Chloe.

"If this is our last blast as a childless couple," says Daniel, "we're going to do it right, including a private tour of the Art Institute."


"No," says Daniel, "The Salem art institute. They're featuring a showing of Ciara's creepy drawings of her family."

Chloe runs off to call her parents and tell them about the baby. Carly flashes back to her computer caper.

Daniel asks if everything is OK. "Yeah," says Carly, "Why do you ask?"

"You look like you have something on your mind," says Daniel.

"That proves it must be something small," says Carly.

EJ assures Roman the wedding will continue. Roman leaves to talk to Fitz.

Stefano steps up to EJ, "Are you prepared to have him as your father-in-law?"

"Certainly," says EJ, "Then I can hide all my secret stuff in his back pockets, because Roman can't find his butt with both hands."

Lexie and Kate talk about EJ. Kate thinks EJ doesn't look stressed about all this.

Sami snorts, "You slept with Nicole. I hope you showered before coming here. I hope you got tested, too. I'm marrying EJ."

EJ doesn't deserve to be a father," says Rafe, "Not after what he has done. And he'll be a grandfather before we get to the point and you find out what that is."

Melanie and Phillip kiss. Melanie says she could just keep this up all day. Phillip says he could if they had the privacy of their own place. Melanie OK's that, but decides she still to live in the same neighborhood, "I don't think a mansion would look strange sitting next to all these crackerboxes, do you?" She talks about Chloe's weirdness but thinks maybe once she has the baby she will calm down. Phillip agrees to call a realtor.

Phillip's phone rings. Melanie looks at the screen, "Why is Chloe texting you?" Phillip jumps out of his socks.

Nathan and Stephanie cuddle. Nathan asks, "You know what I want?"

Stephanie gasps, "AGAIN?"

"Yes," says Nathan, "but first I want a glass of water." He gets up and goes to get it.

Stephanie zones out, "Nathan, we're happy together. I know we are. And now Phillip can be happy with Melanie, and Daniel with Chloe. But Phillip doesn't even know. What am I doing?"

Nathan comes back, "What's wrong." The girl you're with, Nathan.

Kate, Will and Stefano talk about the confab that's going on outside in the foyer. Will says he's used to his mom's drama. Stefano says it's not Sami's fault. Will is surprised to find Stefano sticking up for Sami.

Lexie thinks EJ is calm under the circumstances. EJ says he thinks Sami's attraction to Rafe has ended permanently.

Rafe and Sami continue to argue. Sami defends EJ. "He's a master con man," says Rafe. She tells him to leave.

Carly insists she's fine. Daniel thinks she has a sad look. Carly says she was thinking about a patient, "I could have chosen either one of two paths for her. I couldn't tell her about it, so I had to make the choice myself. I was thinking I did the right thing with her. And I'm happy you get to raise your child this time."

Phillip says Chloe's message is that she has good news and wants to see both of them. Phillip says he is sick of surprises and apologizes if he overreacted when he got the call.

"Laissez les bon temps rouler," says Melanie.

"What does that mean," asks Phillip.

"All the guys tell me it means, "Roll over and you'll have a good time.'"

Stephanie tells Nathan things are too great, "I have a talent for screwing things up. I've kept things from you. I was afraid of losing you."

"I'm not going anywhere," says Nathan, "At least not until I get seconds. As of now, no more secrets."

"As of now, I love you," says Stephanie.

Rafe says, "What you saw through that window with Nicole and me was a lie."

"So," asks Sami, "you were just pretending to take her clothes off?" Rafe wants Sami to listen.

Kate tells EJ, "It's not too late to call off the wedding." EJ says he doesn't walk away from things.

Sami comes back in, "Excuse me. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask everyone to leave... except EJ. He stays."

Phillip and Melanie arrive at Daniel and Chloe's apartment. Chloe comes back out. Daniel asks how her parents reacted to the news. "They are over the moon," she says.

"Good," says Daniel, "Everyone has been wondering where they are."

Stephanie says she doesn't know where she'd be if Nathan hadn't come home tonight. Nathan ain' goin' anywhere.

EJ says Sami can't ask the guests to leave. Sami says she told Rafe she would hear him out but she wants EJ to be with them. Roman invites everyone to the pub. Stefano thinks that’s ridiculous. EJ tries to convince him to leave for a while.

EJ insists there will be a wedding, "I will show you just what a sad, pathetic man Rafe Hernandez is." Sami tells EJ everything will be OK.

On his way out, Roman tells Rafe, "Whatever it is you got, I hope it's good."

And then there were three.

The sparkling cider flows at Daniel and Chloe's apartment. "I know I've been high maintenance," says Chloe, "But that is all over. My life is perfect, so thanks and here's a toast to all of you and our beautiful baby." Clink 'n drink.

Stephanie and Nathan cuddle. Stephanie sleeps Nathan stares.

My body is a vessel. Specifically, it's a flask.
- Brady Black

Lexie, Kate and Stefano are outside the pub. The hospital calls Lexie. She leaves. The hospital administrator calls the funeral home, "Dr. Carver is on her way over... Stand by."

Kate asks Stefano, "You know what's going on with Rafe, don't you?" Silence. "I thought so," she says.

"I'm not sure," says Stefano, "But we will soon find out."

Sami snaps, "So what, you just didn't want me to have a happy day?"

"Whatever," says Rafe, "But you will remember it. And EJ will remember it, too."

"I know he is trying to control himself for my sake," says Sami.

"He's trying to read the situation," says Rafe.

"I'm sick of it," says Sami, "This thing you have for EJ... I am sick to death of it in my soul."

"Soul," asks Rafe, "That's a good one. Well, it's over. You see..." He turns to EJ, "For months I have been chasing one dead lead after another. But now I have proof."

"Proof," asks EJ.

"Yeah," says Rafe, "For a long time we both knew what you did, but I knew I needed proof. Guess what? I've got it. It's over."

Bet it's not. And it looks like that five-minute conversation Rafe was going to have with Sami will spill over into the next thrilling episode.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now the real lunacy begins...Sami and Rafe. But Sami & EJ won't go away because they are meant to be together. I just don't know if I can watch this drivel until that time.

5:02 AM  
Anonymous Berg said...

Blech. The smug little look alone on Rafenstein is enough to make me want to vomit.

I wish while the writers were speeding this story along, they would speed the reveal right along too. Painful.

5:30 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

"Chloe... the baby is Daniel's." How do you spell 'relief?' D-A-D-D-Y-D-A-N.

It more like s-o-m-e-o-n-e a-l-t-e-r-e-d t-h-e p-a-t-e-r-n-i-t-y t-e-s-t.

Chloe gloms onto him as Carly says she came to deliver a present.

It’s a who’s the daddy storyline.

He reminds her the guy almost killed Melanie.

Nathan picks up his doofus of the year award. If he’s not looking for a swift kick to the gonads, Nathan should refrain from discussing Melanie with Stephanie.

If we're lucky they'll be edgy and jumpy together and jump off the edge.

If you include Melanie, I’m with you on that one Prevuze.

"What are you gonna do, drag me out and kill me in front of Roman?"

"I'll bet if I did he still couldn't find out who the killer was," says Stefano.


"Certainly," says EJ, "Then I can hide all my secret stuff in his back pockets, because Roman can't find his butt with both hands."

LOL!!! Roman - the face of the SPD!!!

EJ says Sami can't ask the guests to leave.

The mansion has a gazillion rooms. The Sami/Rafe/EJ conversation could easily have been moved to another wing, so the guests would be able to start in on the champagne punch. Sending everyone off to the Pub is really silly.

Bet it's not. And it looks like that five-minute conversation Rafe was going to have with Sami will spill over into the next thrilling episode.

One episode? Prevuze you are being far too optimistic. Sigh!

This episode needs a serious dose of Ex-lax to get things moving. DOOL writers please take note. The faithful can always count on Prevuze providing entertaining stimulus to start out the week just right!

5:53 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

I read this part about five times and still can't make sense of it:"It's not just me," says Nathan, "Everyone is complaining. They all have to use that program you installed." Prevuze, you appear to be a techno genius, now what would Steponme be installing ON HER LAPTOP that the whole hospital will use? Oh, waitaminute, maybe she's added IT Specialist to her resume!

You do get a huge penalty flag, however, for this:Two females are in the room with you. You don't have a chance of getting a word in.

"If this is our last blast as a childless couple," says Daniel, "we're going to do it right." Uh, Dan-o, I'd refrain from using the term "last blast" around Chloe. Not one of her happier memories, I'm sure.

Typical DOOL, dragging into infinity what Rafe could've revealed in one sentence. Why didn't he just say it while Pard was there? Inept as ol' Pardo is maybe he could've slapped the cuffs on EJ right then and there. Now we'll have the inevitable scuffle and gunshot.

I'm still laughing over the I've boinked Kate Club, Pard still couldn't find out who the killer was and that picture of the happy wedding couple. HAHAHA

Thanks, Prevuze, for cheering up a Monday morning.

6:43 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

With Stephanie I've had to come up with a new category of reactions. This is my DUH! moment today:

After already asking, "Who could have done this?" Steph comes out with "Maybe it's someone we don't know about."

Yeah, Steph. That’s pretty much the definition of “you don’t know who did it”.

My HUH?! moment was Daniel's,

"If this is our last blast as a childless couple"...

Chloe isn't even showing yet. I do believe you'll have 6-7 months worth of time to have "last blasts" if you want.

I had the same sort of comments about Prevuze opinion of Roman's sleuthing ability, so won't repeat them.

Had a spit-worthy moment with the picture of the "Monthly Meeeting of the Boinked Kate Mens' Club".

The wedding fiasco? Am not even going to go there.

Who switched the paternity test? We're supposed to care why?

Thanks for taking the Monday Moanin' hit for us Prevuze!

6:44 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Just read Bulldog's comments (which squeeked in just before my post) about Roman slapping the cuffs on EJ. I've been meaning to make this observation for a while:

That recording Rafe is so proud about doesn't prove EJ did anything illegal so I don't believe the SPD could charge EJ with anything. He is Sydney's father, so technically he didn't kidnap her. He paid Anna the "ransom" money, so there is no extortion or blackmail.

Granted it proves he's a slimeball and a miserable human being for putting Sami, her family, his own family through hell. It should totally turn Sami against him (for a while, until the writers flip-flop characters again). But nothing illegal.

Is there something I'm not thinking of that the SPD could charge EJ with?

6:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For a 'trained' FBI guy, Rafe sure doesn't care about chain of evidence or tainted evidence. Nothing he has discovered can be used in a court of law. Anything he has on EJ was acquired by illegal means...Nicole breaking into the DiMansion and secretly recording EJ & Stefano; himself breaking into Fay's locker at her work. I know, I know...I keep trying to apply logic when I know it's a futile battle. Thanks once again for taking one for the Prevuze Pervurts.
PS-word verification is 'excepot', except I think excrement is much more appropriate.

7:00 AM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

Berg...Rafenstein??? Loved it!!! The cofee's still brewing so I don't think I can't come up with anything that witty until I've had my first cup...

Doesn't look like Les Bon Temps are rolling for EJami & Co... Sami looks pretty pissed in the pic where she's facing Rafe. I remember when she was about to marry Lucas, and EJ showed up at the wedding, she decked EJ a good one. Oh, why can't she slap the crap out of Rafe and be done with it? I guess being FBI does comes with some protection from Sami. Darn it!

"...Rafe busts in. It seems the lad has news."...Bad news too! Double darn! I'm not liking Rafe right now, NO siree!!!

"Chloe," asks Stephanie, "A computer genius? She can hardly spell her name."...right you are! Here's more proof that most men value a gal's "big eyes" over her brains!

"Chloe opens it and finds a teething ring, 'Great! I've just about chewed through my old one!'"...LMAO! Prevuze gets a standing-o for that snark!

"I didn't know there were football statistics at"...LOL Prevuze! Nate better get his head out of his ass and see Step-on-me for who she is, or he'll be looking at that site way too often once she ties the noose arund his neck!

"EJ blows his stack"...ahhh, the return of angry EJ! My fave!

"Daniel asks her to stick around, 'There is something I would like to say.'"...Danny boy still hasn't passed his Chloe 101 class, has he? No wonder the priest insists on the Pre Cana courses before the wedding! Chloe doesn't respond to talk, if you wanted a romp...

"Phillip jumps out of his socks"...Make that ONE sock! Why waste a perfectly good sock on a prosthetic leg? Just sayn'

"Nathan comes back, 'What's wrong.' The girl you're with, Nathan."...Prevuze gets another standing-o!

"EJ says he doesn't walk away from things."...neither does Sami...

Thanks Prevuze for the morning snark, and Happy Monday everyone! It's bound to be a loooong week with the Rafester taking front and center!

7:43 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Is there something I'm not thinking of that the SPD could charge EJ with?

Applecheeks - Think "balloon boy". The authorites probably spent a whole bunch of money trying to track down the kidnapper. This is where EJ could find himself in a heap of trouble. Be that as it may - the tape is still inadmissable. To save her sorry butt, Nicole could say she made her statement under duress. The Rafester ain't got nothing to nail EJ.

7:45 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

what would Steponme be installing ON HER LAPTOP that the whole hospital will use?

I believe we are to infer as the Assistant-Assistant-Assistant Hospital Administrator Steph installed some computer system for hospital personnel to use hospital-wide on they hospital's system, and they hate it. I believe we are also to infer Nathan thinks Ian Longlocks is at the apartment helping her install it remotely or helping her do some damage control.

you appear to be a techno genius

I don't know where you got that idea. I don't know a thing about techno music, but I am pretty good at rock and roll.

7:46 AM  
Anonymous WingNut '75 said... huge OFPS moment today...

Stefano steps up to Rafe, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way,"

Rafe grunts, "What are you gonna do, drag me out and kill me in front of Roman?"

Nope - how about have the aforementioned Roman arrest you for tresspassing. I believe the rightful owners of the property have asked sir Rafenstein to leave. His continued presence constitutes tresspassing.

Okay - I know that I'm injecting "real-world logic" into the boredom known as DrOOL, but still... (Author's note - bummer that commenters can't use the handy "strike" html code the way the great guru Prevuze can - that comment looked much better in my head with a strikeout through the word lunacy)

9:46 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

What's all this "guru" / "genius" stuff today? I put my shoes on the same as everyone else... left shoe on the right foot, right shoe on the left foot...

10:49 AM  
Blogger JenH said...

I am not even sure I want to watch this week. Withvthe stretching, and Detective Lunkomatic, and yet another baby switch-em-up, I can't stand it. I may go Prevuze-only, to help me through this crisis.

Remember when Stefano wanted EJami more than anything, and the plots were fun? We didn't fast forward through half the show, even the shirtless parts? I am beginnig to despair. Maybe my gran still has her VHS tapes from the 80s. I couls stand to watch Patch and Kayla's big fat Greek wedding about now.

11:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been Prevuze only for quite a while now. I just cannot watch this DrOOL. It started with the Marlenafication of Sami. What has happened to my girl? Damn, I want my Scammi back.
I don't have a DVR and I refuse to videotape it, so if I do get a chance to see the show, it's on SoapNet and YOU CAN'T FF SOAPNET! I do believe I am much happier and sanier by going the Prevuze way.

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sami looks horrible in that red lipstick, her hair, and her dress. Oh well, that's what happens when you throw up a wedding .

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Maggie Mae said...

Either Rafe is the dumbest FBI agent on the planet or he really doesn't care if EJ's arrested, just that he can prove to Sami he's still the perfect man and EJ isn't.

EJ can write a check to cover the cost of the investigation.

Rafe can't make that much.

If Corday thinks that Rafe is gonna save DAYS we can start the funeral procession now.

4:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok. I agree with another poster, I may just read Prevuze instead of watching this crap!! Rafenstien (lol) interrupts the wedding I have been looking forward to for four years. Can we get him off the show.

He is soo annoying. All he wants to do is boint Sami. They have never had a romance. It was always rafe's way or no way. Rafenstien was never charming, classy and so sweet to Sami as EJ was. Rafe wants nothing but sex from Sami. EJ respected Sami's wishes to wait until their wedding night. Rafe tried to take it in a stinky locker room. See the difference here. I don't remember Rafe ever interacting with Sami's kids. Well Will once but he approached that wrong too. He's not Will's father. Yes EJ did talk to Will a couple of times but it was adult to adult not trying to be his father. EJ spent so much time with all Sami's kids. I guarantee we see alot of Safe in bed boinking. He needs to get into the kids first before Sami. She takes them from Ej and what does she do she's bonkin Rafe. I am sorry but if I want to see porn I'll go to another channel.I do not want to see them doing this all the time. That's why Brady and Ari didn't work out. That is all they did. (Same as the did on Passions)EJ wooed Sami, treated her with respect. SAFE fans remember I said this when EJ gets shot, Safe will probably be boinking why the father of Sami's kids is on death door. How can you like seeing this. It's so gross, heartless low etc. Do SAFE even care how Johnny and Sydney will take this. They love their dad. No they won't they will be to busy boinking. Rafe reminds me of a movie I saw. They have made a few remakes. It's call The Stepfather. He preyed on single women with kids. When things went wrong he turned to murder.

I heard a rumor he asks Sami to marry him if it happens while EJ is in the hospital I'll hate him even more. . Safe lovers will love that.(sarcasm here.)

If Sami shoots EJ in cold blood in the head hoping he dies, leaving his two kids fatherless just so Rafe can play daddy will cause me to hate Sami more than I do now.

I am sure all the SAFE fans will say EJ deserved it. I strongly disagree. Sami the b&$%* did not tell EJ about Grace when she was dying. She couldn't even let him spend time with his "little girl" before she was gone. All because RAFE wanted to be her daddy. Ok EJ did tell her Sydney was dead and her bloody clothes were in the river but that lasted what one day maybe two. SAFE fans see the difference here. EJ couldn't keep doing that to her he felt soo guilty. But Rafe was going to keep Grace from EJ even in death. Sami was the one too confess and rafe didn't agree with that. I thought male chavinest pigs went out years ago.

Done ranting.

Last note
I heard KC's wife loves SAFE. Us Ejami lovers don't stand a chance.

Done ranting. Oh one more thing Rafe makes me want to vomit too.

Have a good evening everyone.

5:15 PM  
Blogger BetseyD said...

Wow! Great Rant @5:15 p.m.!

You have managed to capture the essence of the rage I am feeling towards this joke of a show!

I've said it before, and I will say it again, after Sami shoots E.J., DOOL comes off of my DVR Record List - and AMC will take it's place!

11:15 PM  

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